Work Text:
"Can I have the placenta?"
He looks up from his desk, momentarily confused.
Ben assumed that April was stopping by his office to pick up his house key, so that she could go check on Leslie during her bed rest, (he’s just started doing a work-at-home schedule most mornings, while April volunteered to spend a little time with Leslie in the afternoons). But that…didn’t sound like she just asked him for his house key.
"Could you repeat that?"
"The placenta?” She rolls her eyes. “It’s the thing the babies are connected to in Leslie’s uterus—could I have it? Like, not now or anything. Later, after it comes out. When you guys are done with it,” April clarifies.
"I know what it is and um…no," he responds, not quite believing that this isn’t even the strangest thing that April has ever asked him.
"God Ben, you’re so selfish. It’s not like you’ll need it anymore."
"True. But still, I’m going to say no."
"It’s not for me, it’s for Orin. For an art project."
"Oh, well. Then…sure," he says with a nod of his head.
"Really?"
Ben widens his eyes and gives her a look. “Are you serious? No, April! Of course you and Orin may not have the placenta. Good lord.”
"I’m just going to ask Leslie next. She’ll say yes."
"Um, no she won’t. And why did you even start with me then? It’s in her—ask her first."
"Because you’re stupid and you’re here," she shrugs. "And anyway, she’ll let me have it, because she’s not a jerk."
"True, my wife is not a jerk, but, unrelated to that fact, I can guarantee you that she’s not going to give you the babies' placenta—especially if you’re just going to give it to your creepy little friend. Besides, I think she’s planning on doing some Wamapoke thing and burying it under a tree in our yard. Ken Hotate told her about it and…"
"Okay. Fine. That's cool, I guess," she interrupts him, then sighs. "I’ll just get one somewhere else then," she starts to leave his office.
"Wait. April, don’t you want my extra key?"
"No. I have a copy already. I’ll tell Leslie you say hi—and that you think you’re the man-boss of her body's placenta."
"I just told you to ask her first, so how am I the…Wait. What? Hey, why do you have a key to our house already? April?"