Work Text:
“So, what’s with the outfit? I haven’t seen you dress this masculine for a formal event since we were ten.” Lup’s voice pulled Taako back to reality, and her left hand pulled a bit of his hair too hard, twisting it into a curl.
“Ow–”
“Sorry–”
“–I don’t know, I guess I just wanna look like I’m gay?” Taako grimaced. “I mean–”
“Babe, I don’t know why you’d change a thing about yourself to look gay, you’ve pretty much nailed it.”
“No, I mean, I want people to see me and Kravitz and say, wow. They sure are gay.”
“What? Why? Oh, god, this isn’t about that dick on Instagram, is it?”
“No, no, I just– Ugh. Lup? I need to tell you something.”
“Uh, should I get on eye level, or..?” Lup laughed a bit, clearly disturbed by Taako’s tone. He felt a bobby pin slip onto the back of his head somewhere.
“It’s not, like, a big deal, just... You know how I made the guard director let me wear the girls’ uniform, and how I’ve been wearing dresses even longer than you, and all that stuff?”
“Uh... Taako, if you’re trans, why would you want to look more like a boy?”
“That’s not it, I just, I think I might be nonbinary?”
“That’s great, why is it a–”
“Kravitz is gay.” Taako scooted away from Lup a bit, but she noticed. Her hand gripped his shoulder, and he cringed. “What if– What if he doesn’t want to date me anymore?”
“Taako.”
“I know I’m being dumb, I just– There’s so much I don’t know, what if he–”
“Taako.”
“What if he decides I’m too weird for him, or that I’m too feminine, or–”
“Taako!” Lup grabbed a chunk of hair near the nape of Taako’s neck and pulled. He promptly shut up. “Listen. You and I both know that Kravitz likes you, not your gender or your name or your hair, just you. He won’t let your gender get in the way of liking you. And if he did, would you really want to be with him?”
There’s a long silence. Lup sighed in the middle of it and went back to Taako’s hair, letting him think on the question. Would he want to be with somebody who didn’t like such a huge part of him? He guessed he wouldn’t.
Unless that somebody was Kravitz.
Kravitz was different from anybody Taako had ever met. He was smart, talented, and funny, not to mention beautiful. He had stuck with Taako through the hardest times in his life– When he lost his aunt, when he went to court... When he thought Lup was dead.
And if Kravitz didn’t accept such a huge change with no warning, well. Taako wasn’t sure he could blame him.
Logically, of course, Taako knew Kravitz wouldn’t break up with him over it. He was too nice for that. But he might become distant. Somehow, the distance would be worse. Taako was certain of it.
“Okay, I think it’s done.” Lup stood and stretched, yawning a bit. Taako nodded and looked in the mirror, examining the intricate pattern of braids Lup had put in his hair.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to top this... Well, sit down.” Lup laughed and did as Taako said, shaking her head a bit in exasperation. As Taako combed her hair, he was able to gather his thoughts. Finally, he broke the silence.
“I don’t think he would break up with me. But what if he just... Stopped wanting to be with me?”
“Then I’d give him a talk. I’d let him know he either has to respect my brother– Wait, are you my sibling now?”
“I think I’m still your brother,” Taako said, feeling an odd smile creep onto his face at the concept that he could be something to Lup that wasn’t just her brother. “I think I’m just, also your sibling? I’m your bro-bling. Your... Sib-brother. Yeah, I’m your sibrother.”
“Right. Well, I’d tell him he either has to respect my sibrother,” Lup said, almost laughing at Taako’s made-up word, “Or leave. Simple as that. And I think I know what he’d choose.”
“How are you so confident?” Taako finished a braid trailing down the back of Lup’s head and tied it off with a rubber band. “I mean, weren’t you scared you’d lose friends when you came out?”
“Well, yeah. But I guess I decided it was worth it. I knew you’d stick with me, and that was really all I cared about.”
“Wow, don’t let Barold hear you say that.”
“Oh, come on, I barely even knew him then!” Lup reached back to try to slap Taako, but ended up awkwardly patting his shoulder due to the odd angle.
“Hey! Don’t make me fuck up your hair!” Lup just laughed as Taako tied another braid. “I’m putting a lot of effort into this, you know!”
“Whatever, you were askin’ for a good slap.” Lup settled down, allowing Taako to finish her braids and knot them into buns. After a long, but comfortable, silence, Lup spoke. “So... You think you’ll tell him?”
“If I don’t do it tonight... I don’t think I’ll ever do it. So... Yeah. I’m gonna tell him.”
Taako could hear Lup’s grin as she asked, “You done yet?”
“Just about, give it a look.” Taako stepped back to admire his work– He wasn’t as good with hair as Lup was, but he was getting there.
As Lup examined herself in the mirror, picking at a bit of stray lipstick, she gave Taako a sideways glance. “You know, it’s not too late to grab a skirt and some proper makeup. If you want to, of course.”
Taako felt an uninvited grin emerge from somewhere deep inside him. “I do hate dancing in pants...”
><
><
Taako felt his heart racing for several reasons as Magnus sped down the highway and his friends shouted the lyrics to decade-old Taylor Swift music. Yeah, Magnus was probably going to get them killed on the way to senior prom, but Taako had other things on his mind. He was going to tell Kravitz something that could make or break their relationship, and, no matter what Lup said, he was sure it would be the latter.
But he wasn’t going to think about that in the car. In the car, he was going to think about the music playing from the speakers, the golden light filtering through the windows, and the fact that all his friends were together in one place. And he wasn’t going to think about the fact that they were graduating, and that they might not see each other like this again. No. He was going to think about the moment, and the moment was good.
><
><
Taako saw Kravitz from across the schoolyard, and reached down to slip off his heels and hand them off to Lup before even thinking. Kravitz had caught him in his arms within seconds, and they were both laughing. Taako was able to forget about everything for a moment as they stood there with their arms around each other, but when the moment passed he stepped back, still holding Kravitz’s hands in his. He was starting to remember his own troubles as he noticed Kravitz awkwardly fidgeting.
“Hey, Taako... I have something I need to ask you about.”
“That’s, uh, really funny, because I have to talk to you about something too? But, uh, privately.”
“My thing is private too, uh. Maybe we should step aside now, while we can still hear each other?”
“Perfect.” Taako led the way towards a set of picnic tables he’d spotted near the parking lot. “I have a hunch that, uh, mine is gonna change yours a little bit, so I’m just gonna go first, if you don’t mind?”
Kravitz sat across the table from Taako, keeping one pair of their hands clasped. “Of course.”
“I, um, think I might be nonbinary. I mean, I’m pretty sure I’m nonbinary. I’m very sure. I have been. And I was scared to tell you, ‘cause I like you a lot, but I know you’re gay, and I just... I thought you might not want to be with a nonbinary person, but I think we should talk about this now instead of later.” Taako’s free hand tapped nervously on the table, and he silently prayed that he wasn’t sweating enough for Kravitz to notice.
“Taako...” Kravitz smiled, but, for a horrifying instant, Taako couldn’t read the smile.
And then Kravitz continued. “I love you . Not your pronouns, not your name, you . I don’t care if you aren’t male, I just care if you’re still the guy– The person who sends cat pictures at two in the morning and kisses me during arguments and flirts with me at lectures. I love you, okay? That’s never gonna change.”
Taako feels something growing in his chest– Something warm, and safe, and happy. “Gods... I’m wearing eyeliner, you asshole.” He doesn’t say it outright, but he feels the tears building, and, as he pushes them back, he realizes that he never would’ve even implied that he was going to cry in front of Kravitz a year ago. He’s grown, they’ve both grown so much.
“So, should I be calling you ‘they’ now? Are you, like, my partner, or my datemate, or what?” Kravitz pulled Taako back to reality with a squeeze of his hand.
“Uh... Let’s start with the pronouns, and I’ll get back to you on the relationship term. I’m partial to ‘paramour,’ of course, but I think there’s room for negotiation.”
“Oh, I can do paramour. Paramour is great.” Kravitz grinned, lopsidedly, but perfectly, and Taako felt his, their , heart skip a beat.
“You, ah, had something to talk about too, right?”
“Uh, right. Yeah.” Kravitz shook his head a bit, then looked at Taako, putting his other hand over their hand. “I was wondering... So, you know I’m moving out right after graduation. I’ve got this internship at the library, and then I’ll be starting college, but I’m only gonna be on the other side of town, and I was wondering if you’d want to live... You know. With me? I mean, you don’t have to say yes! And you don’t have to decide right away, or even before I move, the apartment is always open to you, no matter what, and–”
Taako kissed Kravitz before he could ramble much more. “Of course I’ll live with you, asshat. But only if we can get a cat.”
“We can definitely get a cat. Oh, god, we can get a cat, and we can live together, and– Fuck. Taako.” Kravitz smiled again. This smile would be best described as lovestruck, but even Taako wasn’t vain enough to fully process just how deeply Kravitz loved them, so they settled for thinking of it as dopey. “Taako, we can be happy.”
This time, the tears escaped. Just a few, but enough to make Kravitz walk around to Taako’s side of the table and just hold them, swaying back and forth. He sniffled, and finally cried, just barely letting his walls down. And Taako felt safe in that moment, safer than they’d ever felt.
><
><
Lup rolled her eyes dramatically. “Ugh, I thought you’d never come back. I can’t believe you missed Barry trying to Fortnite dance!”
“What! Oh my god, why didn’t you text me?”
“It was over by the time I figured out what was going on! Don’t tell him I said this, but Barry’s a really bad dancer.”
“Hey!” Barry glared at his girlfriend from a few feet away, but Taako could barely see the hint of a smile on his lips. “I’d like to see you do better!”
“Whatever, babe, I’m not into self-humiliation.”
Barry just stuck his tongue out at Lup. Uptown Funk began to play loudly from the main room. Taako rolled his eyes.
“Whatever. Kravitz and I have news.” Lup and Barry turned to give Taako their full attention. Kravitz squeezed Taako’s hand, and Taako smiled. “We’re moving in together.”
“Oh my god! That’s amazing!” Lup grabbed Taako and Kravitz before they could maneuver out of the group hug that she was determined to get. “I can’t believe you guys!”
Barry just gave them a thumbs up and said, “That’s great!” before Lup motioned for Barry to join the hug. He sighed, then wrapped his arms around all three of them.
“They’re making me get a cat,” Kravitz said dryly when Lup finally released them.
“Oh, come on, you were psyched when I asked if we could get a cat! You love cats! Asshole...” Kravitz laughed and kissed Taako on the forehead. Taako looked at Lup and Barry like they were a camera and Taako was on The Office.
“They?” Barry tilted his head to the side like a particularly attentive dog.
Kravitz and Lup gave Taako a meaningful look, and they sighed before saying, “I’m nonbinary, it turns out. Who’da thunk it?”
“Oh, good for you! I guess transness runs in the family?”
“And I guess bad humor runs in yours?” Taako smirked, feeling particularly proud of themself.
“Ouch. You’ve wounded me, Taako. How can you stand by when you’ve hurt me so. I can’t believe you would place this dagger in my back. I’ll never forgive you,” Barry deadpanned. There was a beat of (relative) silence before they all laughed, and Lup gestured towards the main room.
“Well, we oughta get on the dance floor at some point, right? Come on, they’re playing Take On Me!”
Taako smiled as Lup pulled Barry by one hand towards the main room and Kravitz stole a kiss from them. For a moment, Taako forgot about the troubles of the world. All they could think about was the fact that they were there in that moment, closer to heaven than they’d ever been.
For the rest of their life, Taako kept that memory. They laughed when they thought about their apprehension earlier that evening. After all, everything turned out fine.
How could it not?