Chapter Text
Minato was a horrible, horrible person.
Kakashi hid on the rooftop, watching the genin, the kids walk out to gather below him.
A genin team! Him! Be a jounin-sensei!
"You need to interact with kids your age, Kakashi-kun," Minato-sensei had said, smiling brightly and Kakashi wished, wished he could punch him.
But Rin was doing something unmentionable to the seals behind Minato and if he hit Minato-sensei, Rin would probably sit on him, and then Kushina would probably come and haul him around by the ear.
Kids. his age.
Bullshit.
Kakashi might be just about the youngest jounin in Konoha right now at sixteen, but those genin down there? They were children. Absolute children. Look at that one over there - tiny scrawny thing with a tuft of brown hair , wide-eyed and baby-faced, he probably would fall over and skin his knee and cry for his mother, like every other kid 'his age' had done in the Academy.
Kakashi considered this a little more.
Well he had to interact with them, but the scroll he'd gotten on Jounin-sensei duties had said he only needed to test them. To his standards. If they didn't meet it, then… well.
He'd have done his best - it wouldn't be his fault that this bunch of twelve-year-old genin didn't make the cut, right?
He knew that, generally, as soon as he'd become Yondaime, Minato-sensei's edict that there would be no early graduation technically was a good thing, not allowing child-soldiers that was a huge problem in the past. It meant that only twelve-year-olds could take the Academy Graduation exam, so all of them were - well nowhere the standard that Kakashi had been at twelve.
They'd fail his test and he could go home and get another mission. Yes.
***
"So we're here, and .. he's not," the boy said.
Well the long-haired boy with the scar on his face.
Shisui didn't know who he was, he'd just been given the slip of paper telling him his team designation and where to meet his jounin-sensei.
He hadn't been in the Academy very often, only attending compulsory lectures for his age and for mass team training exercises; otherwise he'd been homeschooled. The Academy Exam had been laughably easy - the test for becoming Uchiha had been harder.
Still his hitai-ate was shiny, and Shisui was tentatively hopeful that something exciting will happen today.
"What's your name?" he asked the scarred boy. They were all Team 7, so he might as well start there.
"Iruka! Umino Iruka," the boy said. "It's cool to graduate huh? I did ask the teachers if I could test out early since I turned twelve so early but they said no anyway. And who're you?"
"Uchiha Shisui," Shisui said. "Nice to meet you." he glanced to the third boy - a quiet wide-eyed boy who looekd like he wanted to fade into the background. "And you are…?"
"Tenzou," Iruka chirped. "He's shy. He's my friend."
"From the Academy?"
"Sorta. We met at the exam hallway," Iruka grinned. "So hey, you think we're … not too early?"
"Maybe," Shisui started, when Tenzou suddenly jerked, looking up -
A shadow leapt down over them, balancing neatly on the training post into a tidy crouch.
Silvery haired, a masked teenager who was probably not that much older than them. A tanto strapped to his back and dark eyes raking over all of them.
If it weren't for the jounin armband on his bicep, Shisui might have thought the teenager was a chuunin.
"So you're my genin-team," the teenager said.
"Wow," Iruka said, eyes wide. "That's cool, where were you just now?"
The teenager gave them ALL a look that might almost be derisive. "Around. So now i have to test you before I actually take you on. If you fail, you all get to have to take the exam again next year."
He sounded quite pleased about it, too.
Shisui scowled a little as Iruka yelped, "That's not fair, they wouldn't even let me take it earlier -"
The teenager was eying Iruka with something like fascination.
The sort of fascination you gave something before you stabbed it.
"You're Silver Fang Hatake Kakashi," Shisui said suddenly, putting together the silver hair, the tanto, the incredible young age.
There weren't that many jounin in what looked like their mid-teens, after all.
Kakashi swung that heavy glance to Shisui. "Very observant, Uchiha," he said. "Now for the test. See if you can catch me. You have till sunset."
Then he fucking disappeared.
***
"That was -cool," Shisui said, all wide-eyed wonder and Iruka poked him.
"How'd you know who he was?"
"The hair," Tenzou said, softly, quietly. "And his tanto."
"It's just a sword," Iruka said.
"It's not just any sword," Shisui said. "That's the White Light Chakra Sabre. It's a Hatake heirloom and treasure."
Huh. Iruka'd heard of this Kakashi guy. He knew he was supposed to be one of the most deadly, most accomplished and best jounin in Konoha. He'd never seen him - and Shisui already looked quite awed.
"Okay," Iruka decided. "We have until sunset?"
"That's in less than two hours," Tenzou volunteered very quietly.
"And he's very fast," Shisui said, a little dreamily. "Wait. Fuck. I should go find him!"
"No," Iruka said grabbing Shisui's sleeve before he could move. "The Village is huge! We can't just run off on our own, we gotta be careful about it. What can you do?"
"Whaddya mean?"
"Tenzou, tell him what you can do."
The kid Tenzou hesitated, then reached out to the post that Kakashi had been crouching on earlier, and it suddenly sprouted leaves, branching towards Tenzou's hand.
"You have - a mokuton?" Shisui said, eyes wide.
Tenzou ducked his face, hunching his shoulders.
"Yeah, isn't it cool?" Iruka said, grinning widely. He had a new best friend already. "So what can you do?"
"Oh - here," Shisui grinned back, and then blew through the seals and then spat out a huge fireball the size of Tenzou himself at the post.
Tenzou leapt back just as the flame rushed past, and continued on, leaving a charred stump before dying out.
"Fantastic!" Iruka said, plan falling into place. "That's gonna be so useful!"
Shisui looked quite chuffed. "Yeah! It's the biggest in my Clan!" he cocked his head at Iruka. "So he's got mokuton, I got the giant fireball technique - which, I must add, is like the best - what do you have?"
"Me?" Iruka said, and his smile turned evil. "I have a map of the village and traps."
***
Kakashi was lounging on top of Yondaime's head on the Hokage monument reading. It had been ages since he'd had the time to break in the new book - as much as he didn't like the idea of a genin team, at least it was basically giving him a free evening. And probably all night too, before he had to report failing his team in the morning.
The kids weren't even very highly skilled - their chakra so obviously genin level that he'd feel them a miiiile away before they could even get within touching distance.
A nice evening to read the newest Icha Icha -
Something touched his ankle .
He frowned, shifted and looked - it was just a weed, waving in the warm breeze.
Huh.
He turned back to his book, brushing ash off the pages.
… ash?
The breeze picked up and suddenly Kakashi was smelling more than just ash - there was a sharp crackle in the air, because the forest below was on fire.
Kakashi sat up, frowning and then suddenly something looped around his ankle, pulling at him and Kakashi had his tanto out at once, slashing at the hand - it was a … weed? The stalk dangled and the fire roared and leapt towards him.
… His team included a fucking Uchiha.
"Shit," he said out loud.
Obito hadn't been very good at the Uchiha signature katons when they first met. He'd been the lowest ranking graduate, in fact. He was a pretty decent jounin now, but he hadn't been all that great eight years ago.
And Uchiha Shisui, Kakashi abruptly remembered according to the team-list, had graduated top of the batch.
"Shit," he said again, just to repeat it. The forest was on fire. He turned to run, even as he felt something brush against his other ankle.
He was going to be in such TROUBLE - Uchiha started fires, not stopped them!
He pushed through the seals for a suiton, directing it to the trees flaming a fucking inferno - and basically shrouded the entire mountain in heavy steam that steamed him a little.
He was going to shake that little brat.
"Heads up!" shouted a gleeful voice to his right, and then both the Uchiha and Umino burst out of the steam from either side, grinning fit to split their faces - and Uchiha Shisui blew another katon into Kakashi's face.
It meant he had to duck and spin.
He was being attacked - his automatic reaction was to run, put distance between him and the attacker, so he could observe.
With the heavy steam from his suiton in the air, the fireball sputtered out quickly, but there was just more steam wet and thick, but Kakashi could run onto the trees, and keep going, push through the thick steam and lose his opponents -
He was three huge leaps away before he heard one of them - Umino - yell out, "Tenzou, NOW!"
And then his ankle was suddenly caught and he nearly slammed nose first into the tree trunk. If it weren't for his chakra, his ankle might have snapped.
Before he could cut at whatever had got him caught, ropes dropped down with enough force to hit him in the shoulders and force him down - chakra infused net. He'd cut out of it easily, if -
The ends suddenly were anchored down, fusing with the nearest tree and a rope snagged his hand holding his tanto.
No .
It wasn't a rope. It was a VINE.
Before Kakashi could just, use his bare hands and chakra to tear himself free, someone landed on his back, slamming air out of him.
"Hi," Umino said landing in front of him. "So, Kakashi-sensei, we caught you." Grinning.
Hands on the back of his shoulders, and then Shisui was leaning over him to beam at him. "We pass don't we?"
Kakashi glanced down to see the last of his benighted genin team slink out from the shadow of the trees, looking up at him and.
Damn. It.
He didn't sag but he really wanted to.
Minato had laughed at him so hard when he finally had to report in the morning that Team 7 had passed their jounin-sensei's test.
"Shoulda tried the bell-test, kid," Obito said from the hallway as Kakashi slumped out.
Kakashi flipped him the bird and stomped out faster as Obito laughed louder.
The problem was that now that they were officially Team 7 and Kakashi their extremely reluctant jounin-sensei, he had to read their profiles in more detail.
And then realise that it was complete bullshit within a week of missions with them.
Uchiha Shisui, top-scoring rookie of the year, had performed perfectly in each and every test and mandatory exercise that the Academy had thrown at him, and his write up had him placed as most promising.
Tenzou, no family name, one of the official orphans from the war that Minato had quelled eventually, had been entirely homeschooled, barely attending 80% of the mandatory exercises (and had been appropriately excused from the rest) , and scored 54 percentile in the batch.
Umino Iruka, orphaned after both parents died on a mission to Grass, was the poorest scorer in his year, easily distracted and with poor attendance at the Academy due to him playing hooky constantly and running wild all over the Village. Kakashi would have identified him as the problem child of the team.
It seemed like a perfectly balanced team.
Except…
Iruka latched onto Tenzou almost at once, deciding to become his best friend, and making dramatic and destructive use of his ability to manipulate plants to do whatever came to his mind as brilliant and hilarious. And then instead of being the properly disciplined Uchiha Kakashi might have expected, Shisui not only egged them on, he discovered the explosive properties of various woods when high heat was applied.
The mess.
Kakashi scrubbed his forehead, as Iruka argued with their client - technically they had asked for the field to be cleared.
It was…. Cleared.
Of trees, at least.
And then Shisui joined in and he was a Clanner that was for sure.
Because he browbeat the man into accepting and paying through sheer tone.
"Kakashi-sensei!" Shisui bound up to him "Here's your share!"
Kakashi hadn't done D-rank missions in so long, it jolted him to remember that he technically had a share too, since he'd spent the entire time trying not to look horrified when Shisui had left the field covered in a fine layer of ash.
"Thank you," he said, finally, accepting the envelope, frowned at it, and then glanced up to see the tail end of a smile from Shisui that.
Wasn't just the sunny smile of a pyromaniac who'd gotten to set fire to a lot of things. There was something almost hopeful in it too.
"Yeah, we're gonna go and get lunch, are you gonna come along?" Shisui asked. "Kakashi-sensei."
"The mission is over," Kakashi started.
"It's for team-bonding," Iruka interrupted, coming over, Tenzou trailing a quiet three paces behind and now Kakashi had three pairs of large eyes staring at him like puppies.
Team-bonding. Obito would probably hit him and then sit on him and laugh if Kakashi turned down team-bonding.
"Fine," he said. Eyed them. "You're paying for yourselves though."
Iruka cheered. "Ichiraku!" Grabbed Tenzou by the arm and started towing him into the village.
As Kakashi turned to follow, he caught the edge of Shisui's smile - bright, and oddly sweet.
Three weeks into having the team, Kakashi opened his door to find Iruka on his doorstep.
"I'm genin," Iruka said, shrugging.
That took almost two minutes thought before he realised what it meant. Konoha's orphanages weren't exactly bursting, but there weren't that many shinobi who could run it - particularly since shinobi orphans weren't easy to handle for civilian caretakers. And after the war - well, all able-bodied shinobi were running actual missions out of the village.
(like Kakashi ought to be doing)
"I suppose Tenzou will be along then?" Kakashi said with some resignation as Iruka dragged his bags into his apartment.
"Yup."
Kakashi exhaled.
***
"Oh that's nice," Minato said to Kakashi. "Here you go, the orphan stipend for Tenzou, Iruka and Shisui."
"What," Kakashi said, eying the three thick envelopes.
"Didn't you know? Shisui is an orphan too."
"What," Kakashi said again because why was he suddenly housing three orphans?
Minato's smile was bright and sunny as his toddler's, as he dawdled him on his lap. "It's not much, of course it's best if they can share an apartment, but it's a little crowded at your place, ne? What's the state of the Hatake compound anyway?"
"I hate you," Kakashi said, flatly.
***
Had Kakashi had his own orphan stipend? He didn't know - he'd gone straight to staying with Minato-sensei after his father had died, and had never gone back. Minato-sensei had taken care of everything, careful and kind.
Now he had three fat envelopes that were, according to the paperwork, meant to provide food, clothing and housing for his three orphan genin.
He tried to give Shisui's to Uchiha Fugaku.
"Oh no," Fugaku said. "Shisui would benefit much more staying with his genin team."
When he complained about it to Obito, Obito had just laughed till he cried.
Which just told him that the entire Uchiha clan had known just what kind of hellion Shisui was, and were happy to foist him onto Kakashi as soon as was legal.
Fuckers, all of them.
***
Kakashi's bachelor's apartment had been perfectly affordable with just his salary and regular missions.
It still was fine with his salary and the orphan stipends, but it was a tad cramped with three growing boys laying around in his bedroom - and he was pretty sure that Iruka was trying to sneak into his bed.
Then Shisui set fire to the kitchen.
"It's simple, if it says medium heat for half an hour, full boil would be five minutes," Shisui was saying while Kakashi put out the flames.
"That's not how it works, look, I'll cook next time," Iruka told him.
Then Tenzou expanded Kakashi's bed.
With giant roots and tendrils and all.
"It's more space," Iruka told Kakashi, "and it'd be more space efficient!"
And … Shisui said he was used to communal living - food and more people around, and Iruka was touch-starved and loved snuggling in between the others and Tenzou looked so surprised that people wanted to hug him that Kakashi didn't know how on earth he'd been convinced that this was okay.
And it might have still worked.
Until Shisui managed to flood AND blow up the building's laundry room.