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"You didn't?" Priestly said, shocked.
"Yeah, I did." Dean replied with a shrug.
"Why?"
"We just... didn't have that much in common."
Priestly looked at him curiously. "But I thought you really liked the guy?"
Dean shrugged again. "I did, but he wasn't what I thought he'd be."
Priestly cocked his head. "How so?"
"I don't know, man. What's with the twenty questions anyway?"
Dean and Priestly were behind the counter of the sandwich shop where they worked. Dean had moved to California a couple years back and had found work here. Priestly had been one of the very first people he had gotten along with, he was an interesting guy and it wasn't just because of his looks, Dean enjoyed talking to him and they had become fast friends, sharing their love for rock music.
The shop was relatively quiet, as it usually was at this time in the afternoon. So they had had time to talk a little about their weekends, which is how they had gotten onto the subject of Dean dumping his boyfriend.
It was Priestly's turn to shrug.
"Just wondering if you were alright. You two were cute together."
Dean gave a thin smile. "I'm fine, thanks." If he was honest he hadn't really been all that interested in the first place, Lucas, who had asked him out about three weeks ago had been nice and just the slightest bit too persistent. Dean had said yes really just to get him to stop asking, and to see if maybe he was just being too harsh. Turns out he wasn't, Lucas was overbearing and wasn't looking for anything serious, mainly just to get into his pants. Dean had suspected that from the start but he gave him the benefit of the doubt, he was glad he hadn't put out because he didn't want to be some guys conquest or whatever.
A customer walked in and Priestly stepped up to serve them. Dean watched as he took their order. In truth there was one other reason he had gone out with Lucas. He had wanted to try and move on from his feelings towards Priestly. He wasn't sure when, it might have been from the get go, but what had started as initial attraction had developed into much more. The door opened once more and Tish entered, Priestly brightened up considerably as he caught sight of her. And there in lied his other problem.
Don't get him wrong, he liked Tish, he did and that was the problem. She was great, funny, gorgeous, he could see why Priestly was in love with her. And he was in love with her, if he hadn't of told him directly himself he would have been able to see it anyway, in the way he looked at her, the way he talked with her, about her. It killed him sometimes to have to listen to him talk about her to him, what hurt even more was that Priestly didn't think he was good enough for her. That was crazy to him, Priestly was... he couldn't think of a good enough word for what Priestly was. The fact that he wasn't afraid to be who he wanted to be, express himself in his style was just one of the things Dean loved about him, he was always excited to see what colour his hair would be as he changed it almost daily, what outrageous graphic tee he would decide to wear to work, or what coloured kilt he'd decide on. Priestly was one of the most unique and interesting people he had ever met and if Tish couldn't see what a awesome person Priestly was then her loss.
"Hey, Tish. It's a bit late to just be arriving to work ain't it?" Priestly said.
Tish winked as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I had a bit of a late night."
By her suggestive tone Dean could figure out what she meant by that.
"What time did you get home?" Dean asked curiously trying to sound teasing rather than judgmental. It was none of his business who she spent her time with, it just ticked him off that Priestly pined after her so earnestly and she didn't even think of him that way at all. Or at least she didn't act like she did.
"I didn't." She smirked as she made her way around the counter to lean against it next to Dean.
Dean shook his head with amusement. He wished he didn't like her, it would be easier to hate her and if she wasn't so oblivious to Priestly's feelings he might even say that yeah, they’d be good together, but that was something he didn't like to admit often. Dean didn't miss as he looked up Priestly's dimmed enthusiasm at Tish's arrival and as she continued to talk about her escapades he wanted to tell her to shut up. Priestly excused himself as he removed himself to the back of the shop, Dean watched him go, arms crossed over his chest. Tish as usual was oblivious to Priestly's plight and replaced him at the counter to talk to customers filtering in. Dean sighed, dropping his shoulders as he started preparing orders that Tish passed along.
~*~*~*~
A little while later Dean saw Priestly disappear out the back, once he’d finished up his work at the front he went looking for him. He found him sitting on the steps leading to the small deck out back.
Dean dropped down next to Priestly. He pursed his lips, clasping his hands in front of him.
“You alright?”
Priestly picked his head up from where it was bowed.
“Am I that weird? Is it that unreasonable to want someone to like me for me?”
“Of course not! Everyone wants that! Why would you think it was?”
Priestly shrugged.
“I overheard Tish talking with someone on the phone. I must have come up for whatever reason and maybe whoever was on the other end asked what she thought about me and you know what she said?”
Dean shook his head.
“She said I was a great friend but she didn’t think she could be with someone like me. What was that supposed to mean?”
Dean tried to swallow his anger.
“I don’t know. But she’s obviously not looking hard enough, I happen to like the way you look, but if looks are what’s stopping her from seeing what an awesome person you are than it’s her loss.”
Priestly scoffed and turned his face away.
“It’s true! Dude, you’re funny, you’ve got an attitude to go with the look, which is hot as hell by the way and you’ve got insecurities, just like we all do. And you know what?” He put an arm across his shoulders. “That makes you even hotter because there’s nothing more attractive than someone who’s hot that doesn’t think they’re hot.”
That got a small laugh out of Priestly. Dean smiled softly.
“Anyone would be lucky to get you. Just because she doesn’t see it doesn’t mean it’s true. You’re someone’s ideal type.”
Priestly cocked an eyebrow, peering up at him.
“Like you?”
Dean faltered, feeling heat creep up his face.
“I, uh, m-maybe.”
He cleared his throat, jostling Priestly’s shoulder with his own.
“Are you gonna be alright?”
Priestly looked at him, contemplating Dean’s reflect, before sighing.
“Yeah, I think, I just… I need to think about some things. I’m gonna take off, is that alright? I just need some time alone.”
“Sure, I’ll see you tomorrow then? Maybe you could come to that beach party tomorrow?”
Priestly gave a small smile.
“Yeah. We’ll see about the party.”
He stood and took off down the stairs. Dean let his shoulders drop and looked down.
“Oh, uh, thanks by the way.”
Dean looked up to see Priestly turned back to him rubbing at the back of his neck.
Dean’s lips quirked.
“Anytime.”
Priestly nodded once before carrying on.
Dean sighed.
“Fuck.”
~*~*~*~
Dean opened up the shop. After his conversation with Priestly, Dean was wondering whether he was giving up on Tish. He felt bad for him, he knew how much he had cared for her but he couldn't help the little spark of hope that maybe finally he would be able to get over her and maybe in time, once Priestly had come to terms with that, Dean could have a chance. It put a little spring in his step and he had woken up with a little smile, he could bear keeping his feelings to himself a while longer whilst Priestly healed, he was worth it after all.
It was a little early, so it would be an hour or so before anyone else would show up. He took his time to set up and do a little extra cleaning. An hour and a half later Dean was perched on his elbows across the counter, reading something on his phone when he heard the door open, he didn't look up right away as he finished the last couple of sentences.
"Hey." Priestly's greeted.
"Hey." Dean exited the tab and set his phone down looking up. The smile he had formed faltered. He stared, open mouthed at Priestly.
Priestly stood there, self consciously toeing the floor. Dean for a moment had barely recognised him, gone was the familiar punk get up, his hair was no longer in it's usual Mohawk, and no longer was it an outlandish colour. Dark blonde hair was swept back, obviously combed and styled sensibly. Impossibly green eyes were no longer defined by black eye liner, nor was his face adorned with multiple piercings. A white shirt and plain old jeans replaced the somewhat garish outfits he normally wore. Dean felt his chest tighten.
"Priestly..."
Priestly still looked down at the ground. "I look stupid don't I?"
Dean took a moment to snap out of his daze.
"No! No you don't."
"It's okay. You don't have to lie."
"I'm not, I was just surprised you look... different." Not like my Priestly.
"Good different?"
Dean looked him over again, yes, god he looked gorgeous. Different, yes, not like himself, but no less beautiful as he had been before.
"That depends."
Priestly did look up then. "On what?"
"Why?"
Priestly stuffed his hands in his jean pockets. He curled in on himself.
"I... I thought maybe it was time for a change."
Dean felt a stab in his heart. A change. He knew what that meant, this was a last ditch attempt to try and get Tish to notice him. Dean was angry, at Priestly, at Tish too. She had no idea the hold she had over him did she? He hated that Priestly felt he had to change, he wanted to tell him how perfect he was just the way he was.
"Right." Dean said with a nod. What else could he say? In the end it was Priestly's choice but he couldn't help the pining feeling that invaded his chest at losing the old Priestly. He clenched his teeth, he would support Priestly though, he wouldn't let him feel any lesser than he knew he was already feeling. He went to stand by Priestly, putting an arm around his shoulders. Priestly looked up at him and Dean felt his heart twist. He put on a reassuring smile. "I'll tell you one thing."
Priestly's brow furrowed, worried. "What?"
"I always pegged you as a blonde."
A smile spread across Priestly's face as he elbowed him. "Shut up."
Dean smiled down at him. "It looks good. If Tish still doesn't see what an amazing person you are then she's crazy." His look turned a little more softer.
Priestly felt a flutter in his stomach. H e dipped his head, huffing out a small laugh.
"Thanks."
Dean felt like his heart was failing, Priestly was doing so much, changing into someone he clearly wasn't for someone who wouldn't even appreciate what he was doing. Dean wanted to grab Priestly by the shoulders, shake him and shout at him until he realised he didn't need to change for anyone, that he loved him just that way he was. Why did Tish have this much influence? He just didn't get it.
Once again though he would lock up his own feelings and if this was something Priestly truly wanted then he would step back and let him. No matter how much it hurt.
Dean put aside his feelings and focused on Priestly.
“Are you still going to come to the party?”
Priestly shrugged.
“I don’t know. I guess.”
“It’ll be fun.”
Priestly nodded, looking down at his feet.
“What’s wrong?” Dean asked.
“I’m just nervous I suppose.”
“What for?”
“What if I’ve done all this for nothing?”
Dean squeezed Priestly’s shoulder, pulling him in closer.
“Listen, I’m betting it won’t be for nothing, but let’s just say it is,” Priestly looked up at him with a furrowed brow. “Not likely, but, in the off chance it is, so what? Tish isn’t the only girl in the world. If she’s not smart enough to know a good thing when she sees it then she doesn’t deserve you. But like I said, very unlikely.”
Priestly’s gaze turned grateful. He smiled, properly this time, at him.
“Thanks.”
Dean smiled back, giving him a little nod.
“You’re welcome.”
~*~*~*~
Priestly was a nervous wreck all morning, looking up quickly whenever he heard the door opening. Dean just wished he’d relax.
A couple of hours of Priestly nervously hanging behind the counter Dean was about ready to go on a hunt for Tish himself and drag her back to put Priestly out of his misery. Thankfully, before that happened, the door opened and she floated in.
“Tish.” Dean announced a little louder than necessary so that Priestly could hear from where he was hiding in the back. “Nice of you to join us.”
Tish waved him off as she rounded the counter.
“Yeah, yeah. It’s not like it gets busy until now anyway.”
Dean raised an eyebrow.
“And you’d know because…”
rolled her eyes, looking around him.
“I don’t see Priestly, and you were telling me about being late, what about him?”
“He’s here. He’s just in the back. Priestly! Get your butt in here.”
Dean felt his own nerves fray now as he waited for Priestly to come out, he didn’t want to see him get hurt, he also didn’t want to see him with someone else, but he wasn’t going to stop being a good friend just because he had feelings for him. That was his burden to bear.
“You don’t have to shout, man.”
He emerged through the door, stepping around Dean, not looking at Tish.
“Oh my God. Priestly?”
“Who else would it be, Tish?” Dean said sarcastically.
Tish looked him over.
“What happened to your kilt?”
He got rid of it for you. Dean thought bitterly.
Priestly shrugged, hunched in on himself again.
“I don’t think it was really working for me.”
Dean ached at the words.
Tish looked surprised.
“Really? I thought you were really into that punk get up?”
He still is. Dean mentally supplied.
“I wanted to try something else.” Priestly shrugged one shoulder. “What do you think?”
Tish looked him up and down more appreciatively this time.
“Well, whatever the reason, I approve.”
Priestly perked up at that but Dean just felt sick.
“I suppose you’re going to the party later, Tish.” Dean said just so she’d stop looking at Priestly like that.
“I suppose so.” She looked to Priestly. “What about you? It’s not usually your scene is it?”
“Oh, no yeah, I’m going.” Priestly said.
Tish smiled.
“Good. It’ll be fun.” She said with a wink.
Dean suddenly didn’t want to go anymore.
~*~*~*~
Priestly and Tish had gone off together, they were now huddled around the fire, talking and leaning into each other. Dean had encouraged Priestly to go. “I’ll be fine. Go and get her.” He’d ushered him with a wink. Now he sat on a partly grassy hill, slightly apart from the group around the fire, nursing a beer and trying his best to not let his gaze drift too often to Priestly and Tish. Tish wasn’t a bad girl, far from it, but he couldn’t help but hate her in that moment, she had everything he ever wanted looking at her like she hung the damn moon.
He took a swig of his beer, a breeze sweeping in from the sea ruffling his hair. It was a little chillier now but he didn’t join the others around the fire, he had a feeling he’d still feel cold no matter how close to the flames he got. He’d done a pretty good job not looking over so far, staring out into the restless ocean and slowly setting sun. Of course an ill timed flick of his eyes over to them made his heart plummet into his stomach. Priestly had Tish leaning into him, head resting on his shoulder, his arms loosely wrapped around her, but then she tipped her head back and Priestly turned his head and… they kissed. Dean couldn’t stay any longer. He stood up unsteadily and made his way down the beach, no particular destination just… away from there.
He knew that he’d have to endure their relationship if it happened at some point, but he wasn’t as strong as he thought. He couldn’t be around that twenty four-seven, he’d never survive with his heart intact. He stumbled down the strip of beach, putting some distance between him and the party before collapsing into the sand, sniffing and wrapping his arms around his knees, resting his head on them. The lapping of the waves did little to lull him in his emotional turmoil, he’d never thought a feeling so wretched could be possible but there it resided deep inside his chest, a weight that made it hard to breathe and to even move, he could very easily stay stuck like this forever.
A light rain began, a soft downpour that only lasted ten minutes leaving him dampened. The skies turned grey, clouds gathering but he still made no attempt to move, rain was the least of his worries.
Lost in his own sorrows he didn’t notice someone approaching. The sound of sand being disturbed beside him almost had him turning. Silence prevailed and Dean almost sunk back into his detached trance when a sigh pulled him back. He turned his head to eye Priestly sitting in a position much like his own, looking out towards the sea. Dean unfolded himself slowly.
“Priestly? What are you doing here?” He looked behind Priestly down the beach a little. “Where’s Tish?”
Priestly shrugged. “Not sure.”
Dean frowned.
“Did something happen?”
“Yeah.”
“What?”
Priestly fidgeted a little.
“I realised something. Maybe a little late, but I guess that remains to be seen.”
Dean watched him, staying silent.
“She kissed me.”
I know. Dean thought sadly.
“Oh. Well, good.” Priestly looked anything but thrilled. “Right?”
“I thought it should of been. But it just felt wrong.”
Dean’s heart was having trouble deciding what to do, it still ached from it’s dull thudding just moments ago.
“When she kissed me, I realised something. I’d been in love with her for… years, or, well I thought I was. Maybe I had been at first, but somewhere along the line it turned into more of a compulsion, a need to hold onto my feelings for her because I thought that’s what I wanted.” He laughed without humour. “Turns out I was using her for more of a distraction, I’m not sure how long ago it started but tonight, kissing Tish it finally hit me. I’m in love with someone else.”
Dean swallowed, barely breathing.
“Someone else? Who?”
Priestly finally met his eyes, wind rustling his hair and shirt. He said nothing as he looked into Dean’s eyes, he didn’t need to, it was right there, Dean choked on the sudden lump in his throat.
“Me?” He said, his voice turning into a whisper halfway. He shook his head. “Why?”
“Why? Dean, you’re the only one who’s ever made me feel comfortable being me, never judged me for what I looked like. You’re always there for me, I never appreciated what I had right beside me.”
Dean kept his head turned away, not wanting Priestly to see how hard it was to keep tears at bay.
“You have no idea what it felt like to help you try and get Tish’s attention.”
Priestly looked down guiltily.
“I’m sorry. I guess somewhere deep down I didn’t consider you anything more than a friend because I wasn’t ready to see what you were beginning to mean to me.”
Dean nodded.
“I don’t think I was either. You kind of intimidated me.”
“What?”
Dean’s lips twitched into a smile.
“The first time I walked into the shop and you introduced yourself I thought you were so ridiculously good looking. I totally thought you were out of my league.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“I didn’t want to ruin the relationship we had and you were in love with Tish, I was happy to just be there for you as a friend, or at least, I was. Tonight was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, pushing you towards her.”
Priestly’s eyes shined.
“You did that for me? Even though-”
Dean faced him, a tremulous smile forming.
“I’d do anything for you. I love you.”
Priestly scanned Dean’s damp face.
“Oh, Dean.”
Priestly wiped his face before grabbing Dean’s shirt and pulling him into his arms. Dean went easily, circling his own around Priestly tightly, burying his face into his shoulder.
“Priestly, what you said. Do you… did you mean it?”
Priestly nodded, ducking his head to press into Dean’s neck.
“Yes.”
Dean closed his eyes.
“Say it. Say it again.”
Priestly lined his mouth up with Dean’s ear before confessing.
“I’m in love with you.”
Dean couldn’t help a smile as well as a few tears escaping. He pulled back to look into Priestly’s face. He took it between his hands.
“I’ve wanted to hear that for a long time.”
“Even now? Even though I changed?” Priestly asked.
“Unconditionally. I’ll take you in whatever package you come in. Though I must say I miss the Mohawk.”
Priestly’s eyes watered, he nodded looking down. “I don’t think I particularly like this new me.”
Dean cupped his face to make Priestly look at him.
“You do what you want to do, I just want you to be happy with yourself but I wouldn’t object if you wanted to don the kilt again.”
“It’s weird but I feel kind of naked without the hair and the piercings.”
Dean smiled fondly.
“Do you mind if I do something?”
Priestly’s brow furrowed slightly but shook his head. Dean looked over Priestly’s freckled face, free from piercings and makeup, with or without those things he was utterly gorgeous to him. Priestly searched his eyes as he waited, letting Dean regard him.
When Dean’s gaze landed on his lips he felt his mouth go dry. He licked his lips subconsciously. Dean followed the movement, letting his eyes linger a moment on his mouth before returning to look him in the eyes. A little line had formed between Priestly’s brows, he could see the self consciousness in his countenance. He finally leaned in, his eyes slipping closed as he pressed his lips gently to Priestly’s. It only took a second for Priestly to reciprocate, tipping his head to deepen the kiss.
Dean pulled back, eyes opening a moment later. Priestly was looking at him with a slightly dazed, wonder filled look.
“Okay?”
Priestly shook himself out of it.
“Huh? Oh, yeah, more than.” He smiled wide and brightly then and Dean felt a little breathless.
Dean returned it, he had just kissed Priestly, who he’d been pining after for… God knows how long now and he’d kissed him back. He could burst he felt so much happiness bubbling up inside of him.
The sky had turned a murky grey, a more insistent breeze picking up from the sea making a chill run up both their backs. Priestly looked out to the ocean trying hard to fight the stupid grin pulling at his lips.
“You know,” He chuckled lightly at himself. “I should have really known sooner I was in love with you. That boyfriend of yours, what was his name?”
“Lucas?”
“Yeah. I hated him.”
Dean grinned.
“You were jealous?”
“Now that I think about it, yeah. Horribly so. I wanted to punch him the first time he swaggered in trying to chat you up. I didn’t put two and two together at the time.”
Dean shook his head in disbelief. He’d made Priestly jealous.
“So, that was a lie then.”
Priestly looked at him, confused.
“What was?”
“You said that you thought we looked cute together.”
Priestly’s face smoothed out. He ducked his head, embarrassed.
“I think I was trying to convince myself I was happy for you.”
“I know the feeling.”
Priestly met Dean’s eyes again.
“You wanna get out of here?”
Dean smiled.
“Yeah, I really do.”
Priestly stood, holding his hand out. Dean took it, pulling himself up, stumbling maybe not so accidentally into Priestly.
“You okay?” Priestly asked pulling him closer.
Dean pressed a kiss to his lips, wrapping him in a hug and pressing another into his hair. Priestly encircled his waist with his arms, burrowing his face into his shoulder, sighing contentedly.
“More than.”