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By tomorrow I'll be left in the darkness,
Amongst your cold sheets.
And your shoes will be gone,
And your body warmth no longer beside me.
But don't bring tomorrow
'cause I already know
I'll lose you
___________________________________________________________
The year is 854 and there has been no success with the titans. Many brave soldiers lost their lives in the events that followed the fall of Wall Maria, and many more lost their lives on the way to find what lay beyond the wall. And as I jump off my horse I can't help but to think about what life would be like with them still around.
My name is Eren Jaeger and I am 19 years old. My mother died when I was ten and my father is still missing. My sister Mikasa, who I had believed to be the strongest of us all, was killed in our failed efforts to find what my father had hid in our basement.
Like Mikasa, the majority of my friends were dead. Not all of them had suffered the fate of being eaten. In fact, the only one who was recently swallowed was Jean, and I know that he would've rather taken a bullet, but life's not fair. He knows that more than anyone. But at least he's with Marco now.
All the others died of disease or loss of blood. Well, that's a lie. Corporal Levi was the last commanding officer left by the time we'd made it outside the walls- and he hated it. I guess in the end losing Erwin and Hanji was too much, and he shot himself in the head.
We'd lost Reiner and Bertholdt to infection, shortly after finding out that they were also shifter titans. But they redeemed themselves by saving Historia, and ended up dying heroes. It's funny how things work like that. Just because you've done bad things, it doesn't mean you're a bad person.
I'm drawn from my reverie by a hand on my shoulder. I turn to see Armin supported between Sasha and Historia. He gives me a weak smile. I look at Sasha. She shakes her head.
Not long. The injuries caused by a aberrant titan were more than his body could take.
"We m-made it, Eren." He whispers with wet eyes.
I return the smile and sweep him off his feet, pecking his forehead before trudging down to the sea shore. When I lay him down when we reach the surf, and take a spot beside him. He entwines his good hand with mine.
"Eren?"
I turn to him.
"I-I don't want to die. I know it's stupid to say that, but I'm not ready yet. W-we just found the ocean, and n-ow I'm never going to see it again." He gasps and sobs the sentence out, pausing when i got hard for him to breath.
He buries his head in my chest and I just hold him tight. Over the past few years I've learnt that there will never be enough words to tell the people who matter most that you love them. But I'll be dammed if I don't say something now.
"A-Armin. This is so selfish but I need to know I love you, and there'll never be a day that I won't think about you." I choke back a sad laugh. "And I want you to know where ever you're going, you won't be alone. You'll have all of our friends, and soon enough I'll be there too. You know how reckless I am, it won't be long. Oh, Armin? Tell Mikasa I Love her. I never got the chance to say goodbye so I-"
I'm broke off by a harsh string of coughs from Armin. And then he speaks.
"Of course. And, Eren? I love you too."
We're both crying now and we just sit like that for a while, using each other's bodies for support.
It's along time before I realize my best has stopped breathing. And when I do I only start crying harder. Historia and Sasha approach me carefully, and I see that they're crying too. I once said before that crying was something that humans did because we were weak, but I disagree now. We cry because the world is weak and we are strong. We cry because out of all the lives we could've been born in, we had the misfortune to be born to this one.
___________________________________________________________
After Armin is laid to rest, the girls and I walk back down to the ocean to watch the sun set. As look at them, I wonder if they're thinking of their respective lovers. Of Connie who was the first of the last to go, leaving Sasha two months pregnant with a child who doesn't deserve to be born into this world. Or of Ymir who bravely fought for Historia until the very end.
As the sun sinks further beneath the horizon, I think of all those who we lost and of those who we shall gain, and I can't help but to think of what Mikasa told me long ago, something she had realized when she was very young. She had said that the world is merciless, and it’s also very beautiful.
And now, several years later, I can see that she was right.