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A groan. A metallic thump. Two exhausted interns where there had been previously only been one. A brief silence until the first spoke up with a routine greeting. “Rough day?”
A more prolonged groan in response. Casey turned to rest his head on the lockers. “Lose another case?”
“No,” came the muffled reply from where Levi’s face was buried in his arms.
“Lose...a patient?” Casey asked more tentatively, voice softening.
Levi adjusted so that he faced his fellow intern, but his eyes were trained on a distant floor tile. “No, actually. Might have been my best one so far.”
“Really - so, why the drama?”
Without regard for the question, Levi continued. “Osteosarcoma in a kid’s arm. I was never good with kids - I swear they can sense fear - but he was there, and made me feel...so sure of myself throughout the whole thing and the patient turned out great! But then we were in the elevator and we kissed then I said something so stupid like I always do and he looked so disgusted and-”
Levi’s eyes widened, realizing his rambling had betrayed his private thoughts. He shifted his gaze to Casey, whose face seemed to only hold sympathy, save for his mouth, which was turned up in mild amusement.
“I, uh - sorry, I didn’t mean to, I mean, I’m not - well maybe I am, but -”
“Which part are you apologizing for?” Casey interrupted. “The gay part or the part where you admitted you made out with Dr. Kim?”
The pink tinge to Levi’s face bloomed into a brilliant scarlet. “I - I never said, pfft, who would make out with Doctor - I mean, yeah, but...uh, both,” he stammered.
Casey raised his eyebrows. “If in the last six months that we’ve worked, talked, and basically lived with each other - you got the impression that I wasn’t okay with you being gay, I apologize. But-” he emphasized, “-maybe you should give me a little more credit.”
“Oh. No, you never…” Levi trailed his thought off before clarifying, “To be fair, I didn’t even realize I was gay until...until like ten minutes ago actually.”
“I’ve been there.”
Levi whipped around so hard, his glasses nearly flew off his face. “You what?”
Casey failed to suppress a chuckle at his friend’s exaggerated surprise. “Captain Hawkeye,” he said, fondness tinting his voice.
“Was he your superior that you had a secret gay crush on?”
“What? No, he’s a character from MASH,” Casey laughed. “I did have a crush on him when I was a kid, but it wasn’t especially secret.”
Levi hummed indifferently. “At least you knew then. I wasn’t sure I was even capable of liking people that way, let alone other guys.”
“You didn’t let me finish.” Casey inhaled sharply, and continued, “I didn’t know anything from a young age, except that I wasn’t like the other kids. I didn’t just have a crush on Hawkeye - I wanted to be him.”
“That seems pretty normal to me?”
“For a boy, yeah. For a little girl, however…” Casey paused, staring at the row of lockers across from them.
It took Levi a moment to understand what Casey had said. “Oh...uh, sorry?” he offered, unsure of what else to say.
Casey shook his head at the floor, smiling wistfully. “Telling my parents I was into girls as well as guys was already a lot for them, but at least they could still pray I’d end up with a nice husband and was just going through some phase. I knew I was still unhappy being called or seen as a girl, but I guess for the sake of keeping whatever broken relationship I had left with them, I managed to convince myself those feelings were a normal part of being bi.
“Even then, I cut my hair pretty short and basically only wore cargo shorts, so one day I was called “sir” at the grocery store.” Casey paused and took a very deliberate breath. “And I knew I had to move out of my parents’ house.”
Silence fell between the two interns. Levi shifted awkwardly against the hard metal before saying, “Sorry, I didn’t know.”
“Not many people do. I’ve had enough talk about my sexuality and gender from my hometown, so I don’t really advertise it to people who haven’t gotten to know just...me.” Casey turned to his right, meeting Levi’s eyes with an earnest gleam in his own. “But at least now I’m living my life honestly.”
Levi shrugged. “Well at least you know now. I’m twenty-seven and I don’t know what to do because I do like him and have liked boys but I don’t know if I’m really gay or I just like him or no one’s ever kissed me before that and it’s making me even more confused and it’s really-”
Lips pressed against Levi’s, silencing him with a flustered “hmm?” Unlike the kiss with Nico, this one was gentle, steady. Casey’s mouth felt somewhat hesitant against his, asking a question that neither man knew the answer to, but they didn’t really care. He brought a hand to Levi’s cheek and thumbed its stubble, pushing their faces the slightest bit closer together.
Just as soon as it seemed their lips had first met, Casey slowly pulled away, leaving Levi stunned, lips parted and eyes wide. A sheepish smile inched across his face. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s-” Levi breathed. “It’s okay.”
“Did that help?”
“Well I’m sure I’m gay now,” Levi admitted, eliciting a laugh from Casey. “But...I’m even more sure I’m really into Nico.”
“Yeah?”
“Sorry.”
Casey gave a dismissive wave. “Don’t apologize. Just trying to help you make sure.”
“Uh...thank you?”
“Anytime.” Casey smiled.