Chapter Text
It all begins, annoyingly so, with Yoongi Min groggily staring at the blindingly bright screen of his cell phone at 3:42 in the morning.
𝟹:𝟺𝟸ᴀᴍ Unknown
hyung, remember that one night stand
i had ?
Me 𝟹:𝟺𝟹ᴀᴍ
uh... i think you have the wrong
number. sorry about that.
𝟹:𝟺𝟹ᴀᴍ Unknown
hyung~ stop playing ! you told me
you wanted an update :(
Yoongi is irritated at being woken up at such hours by someone who isn't his daughter, and it's only further fueled by his jet lag. He also is the last person on Earth who would want a detailed play-by-play of someone’s sexcapades, and seriously pities anyone who doesn’t share this same mentality.
Me 𝟹:𝟺𝟺ᴀᴍ
look, i really don’t think i’m
the person you think you’re
texting.
sorry.
𝟹:𝟺𝟺ᴀᴍ Unknown
if this is some kind of prank to get
back at me for eating the last lamb
skewer, i already said i was sorry !!
anyways, since i know i’m too cute
for you to stay mad at, i’ll continue
with my story
Me 𝟹:𝟺𝟻ᴀᴍ
please don’t.
𝟹:𝟺𝟻ᴀᴍ Unknown
what crawled up your asshole and
died ?
hello ??!
wooseok-hyung ?
Finally, a name. Yoongi is definitely no Wooseok. With a heavy sigh, he starts to compose what he hopes is his last text message to the random stranger trying to talk it up at ass o’clock in the morning.
Me 𝟹:𝟺𝟽ᴀᴍ
yeah, wrong person.
my name is yoongi.
𝟹:𝟺𝟽ᴀᴍ Unknown
given your love for pranks,
i have a very hard time
believing that
prove it
Me 𝟹:𝟺𝟽ᴀᴍ
excuse me?
𝟹:𝟺𝟽ᴀᴍ Unknown
prove it
:)
Me 𝟹:𝟺𝟾ᴀᴍ
how?
𝟹:𝟺𝟾ᴀᴍ Unknown
a picture ! c’mon hyung,
give me your worst
Me 𝟹:𝟺𝟿ᴀᴍ
what if i send feet pics?
𝟹:𝟺𝟿ᴀᴍ Unknown
then it’s excellent that i’m
very well acquainted with
those cute little feetsies of
yours
;)
Me𝟹:𝟻𝟹ᴀᴍ
i don’t even want to know.
but here.
good night.
please stop bothering me.