Archive of Our Own ^beta

She loathed those stormy days. They reminded her of the life she could’ve had, of the love she had lost. Of Misty Day, the witch that had entered her life like a storm and disappeared just as quickly and violently. Now the only thing left was a scar in her heart. The howling wind sounded like her own sobs, and with that the sensation of ashes on her hands always returned. Back to her old self, the weak woman who had let love slip through her fingers.

So, on days like this, Cordelia tended to spend her time alone in her office, where nobody could see her. She would sit in silence and wait for the storm to pass– But did she really want the storm to go? Because no matter how much she cried and blamed herself, it could never bring Misty back. It only left more scars and a cold emptiness that made her shiver even in the middle of summer. Perhaps she should make the storm stay forever, the way she wanted Misty to stay with her forever.

Of course, it couldn’t be so.

So, she would let Misty go with the storm, put on makeup, and return to being the strong Supreme the coven needed. That was the only way of atonement in this life.

The curtains were closed, and the lights were off. In the relative dark, she caught the pale figure of Misty twirling to Fleetwood Mac. With her eyes on the dancing witch, she put a tray of food on the table by the window and opened the curtains.

“Lunch time,” she said.

Squinting her eyes, Misty came to sit down at the table. “Stew! God, I’m starvin’. I could smell it cooking even from this room.” She took spoonful after spoonful as if she hadn’t eaten three bagels this morning.

In contrast, Cordelia maintained her mannerism, with a napkin on her lap, mindful about noises. But it never occurred to her to reprimand Misty.

“You can come down and eat with everyone in the dining room instead of here, you know? You wouldn’t have to wait for me like this that way.”

“I can wait. I like eating alone with you.”

“I do, too. But, it’s been a week since you came back, and you haven’t even gone out of this room once.” She reached for Misty’s hand across the table.

But Misty pulled her hand away slowly. Since her return, she had been shying away from Cordelia’s touch for some reasons.

“I know you need time to heal,” Cordelia said, forcing a smile. “And it’s my number one priority to ensure that you take as much time as you need to do that. Just– Please know that we are all waiting for you, and all the new girls are looking forward to getting to know you.”

With creases in her forehead, Misty looked away and shook her head. “I don’t know if I should.”

“What do you mean?”

Misty stood up, walked to the iPod on the nightstand to turn it off, and sat on the edge of the bed. Cordelia stayed in her chair, not sure if Misty needed her by her side.

“I thought I was fine,” Misty said. “I had Stevie and you. But I’ve been having this dream. I come back, and you are there. But then, when I hug you, you bleed from all over your body, like my hug cut you.” She took a deep, trembling breath.

“Misty–” Cordelia walked to stand before her.

Her blue eyes looked up. “Then, I run to the girls, but as soon as I touch them, they all bleed to death. Zoe, Queenie, everyone. And I’m the only one left. When I try to bring you back, it makes you bleed even more, and–”

“Misty, stop.” Cordelia extended her arms and cupped her tear-soaked cheeks.

With a start, Misty tried to pull away. “No–”

Cordelia wouldn’t let her, however. She knelt down, held Misty’s hands in hers, and with the uncharacteristic use of force, she brought those hands flash against her own cheeks. “Listen, Misty.”

Misty struggled to get free. There was nothing more painful than seeing her frightened of her own darkness.

“That is a dream. Not who you are,” Cordelia said and held her even harder around the wrists. “You are not breaking me, you see? You could never hurt me.”

“But what if I hurt other people? Animals? What if I couldn’t bring them back anymore?”

“Then, I’ll help you. But please remember, the world is not as fragile as you think, and when you still get scared or sad, talk to me. I will hold your hands like this until the feeling goes away. I promise.”

Through tears, Misty looked her in the eyes and gave a nod. It was slow but unshaken. And Cordelia knew everything would be fine when Misty cupped her cheeks at her will. She sat on the bed and did the same to Misty, who nuzzled into her palm in return.

“You’ve changed a lot, Miss Cordelia.” Misty offered a soft smile. “But still kind all the same.”

“I’ve changed, but it took too many sacrifices. Sacrifices I wouldn’t have had to make had I been stronger, but–” Cordelia stopped as if someone interrupted her. Retracting her hands, she forced out a pitiful laugh and apologised. “I’m making it all about myself when I should be supporting you.”

“No, I want to hear it.” Misty reached out and laced their fingers together. “You talk when you are sad, right?”

The laugh Cordelia let out this time was genuine. Her hand rose again, fingers running through Misty’s curls. With Misty Day, it seemed impossible to keep her hands to herself.

“I still can’t believe you are here,” Cordelia said. “And I’m such an idiot, because it almost cost your life for me to finally realize how much you meant to me. I was so busy running away from everything that reminded me of my weakness. Fiona, Hank, you …”

“Me?” Misty looked hurt.

“No, I meant– I should’ve said my own feelings for you. I’m sorry. Because of my self-loathing, I kept myself in the dark, literally, believing I was unworthy of you.” Looking up, Cordelia offered a smile. “But I’m stronger now. You made me so.”

Misty seemed at a loss for words.

Although that look brought her old insecurities back, Cordelia refused to let them hold her back. “I’ve loved you, Misty, from the beginning, I think. You are the most important thing in my life.”

Those blue eyes stared back. “Really?”

Cordelia nodded. “I swore that I’d never–” Never lie to myself again.

She didn’t get to finish the sentence as Misty wrapped her strong arms around her. It made Cordelia feel dizzy, almost close to fainting.

Misty pulled away immediately. “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”

Cordelia managed to hide the vertigo behind a smile. “I told you, you could never hurt me, Misty. It’s just that nobody has ever held me this tight before.”

Misty apologised again.

“I love it,” Cordelia said. “I feel safest in your arms.”

Misty’s eyes brimmed with fresh tears. She opened her mouth, but no word passed her lips. So, she took Cordelia’s hand and pressed her trembling lips against the back of it instead. Cordelia knew it was the highest form of affection and adoration Misty knew. When Misty pulled her back in a hug, it felt like Cordelia finally had her back, body and soul. She never wanted to let her go.

But it was only a wish. Voicing such a thing would be too heavy a promise to make. A new Supreme was on the rise, and they both knew the meaning of it. Cordelia wondered how much time she had left with Misty on this earth.

Despite all that, Misty said it. “Please never let me go again, Miss Cordelia.”

So, Cordelia nodded without hesitation, burying her face in those Cajun curls.

They finished their now cold stew before lying in the bed with each other in their arms. Misty hummed in the softest tone. It was one of the most heartbreaking and beautiful melody Cordelia had ever listened to.

“Can we go to the swamp tomorrow?” Misty said when the song ended.

Cordelia looked out the window over Misty’s shoulder. The weather looked harsher than this morning. “Tomorrow might be difficult, but when the storm is gone, I’ll take you to the swamp.”

“Can we stay like this ‘till then?”

“Of course.” Cordelia planted a kiss on her cheek.

For the first time in a long, long time, Cordelia felt alive during a storm. And even when the sun came back, her love would stay with her. There would be a heartbreak someday, maybe sooner than anyone believed.

But for now, they were in the eye of the storm together.