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Pause the Mission, I Need a Break

Summary:

Prompts will be in bold throughout fic:
1. “I am way too sober for this.”
4. “How’s the meeting?” / “I want to stab everyone.” / “Don’t get blood on your dress. We have dinner reservations at seven. “ / “Love you for enabling me.” / “Love you too.”
21. “At this point, my options are A) knit a scarf, or B) commit homicide.”

Notes:

Lady Loki demanded some attention, who am I to say no?
Enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“How’s the ‘meeting?’” You ask phone pressed between your ear and shoulder.

“I want to stab everyone,” Loki responds almost immediately.

“Don’t get blood on your dress. We have dinner reservations at seven.”

“Love you for enabling me.”

“Love you too.” You chuckle. “That bad huh?”

“Darling, you have no idea,” Loki says, powdering her nose. “I am far too sober for this.”

“Want me to make sure Thor brings back some mead for you?”

“I have magic pockets and you think that that bumbling oaf—”

“You have pockets too!?” A drunk girl happily asks Loki, her shout easily ringing into her cell.

“I can’t pass up a dress with pockets!” Loki giddily responds.

A clap sounds as the drunk girl and Loki high five.

“Better wash your hands again, babe.” You say as you continue looking through clothes at your favorite store to kill time.  

Loki mumbles and you hear the water running again. “Should have asked her if she had coke.”

“Loki!”

“What? At this point, my options are A) knit a scarf, or B) commit homicide.”

“While I do love your needlework, wasn’t this supposed to be an in and out thing? A few drinks, a folder or thumb drive—done? I know Steve’s relying on you and your skills. He can’t be that bad of a fake date.”

“He is fine. Hmm. And initially yes, it was supposed to be short, but by the Norns, this is dragging out so long already.”

“It’s been,” You check your phone. “37 minutes, babe.”

“I’m bored!”

“I’m sorry your job sucks.”

“It does! Nat should have done this; she can fool anyone. It would have been a piece of cake for her.”

“You’re the goddess of lies and mischief! Is this not second nature to you?”

Loki huffs a sigh.

“Babe, what’s really wrong?”

“No.”

“Loke.”

“Y/N.”

“Tell me?”

“No. I don’t want to.”

“I’ll wear that top you like tonight.”

“You’re cruel.”

“And maybe that other thing too?”

“Fine. I’d rather be with you.”

“Was that so hard?”

“Will be later…”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You laugh, your excitement growing with thoughts of after dinner with Loki.

“Now wish me luck. Otherwise, the mark is going to get a salad fork to the eye.”

“Loke, I know I should be mad but—”

“Oh, not by me.”

“Steve?”

“You’d think so, but no. This guy’s date: she is so obviously pissed with him. It’s like if he flirts with me any longer, she might snap and stab a bitch.” Loki laughs.

“As long as you’re not getting stabbed, I suppose I don’t mind.”

“You know Steve wouldn’t let that happen. Such a gentleman, whatever the fuck that means nowadays.”

“Ever the lady.”

“Ever your lady.” Loki corrects, putting the final touches on her lipstick.

“Ever mine.” You sigh happily. “I suppose I shouldn’t keep you from Steve any longer, huh?”

“I could make him wait an eternity for you.” Loki adjusts her curls ever so. “But I know you’re right. Work calls, sadly.”

“Sooner you get this over with, sooner you can come find me.”

“Too true, love.”

“Give Steve my love, you know after everything’s done.”

“Will do. I love you, darling.”

“Love you too. See you tonight.”

“Hmm, tonight. I’m going to need a magnum of French champagne after this!”

Notes:

Lady Loki and Steve acting as a couple on a mission? HOW have I not written this before? HOW?

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