Work Text:
Chapter Three
Things got weird after that day. I don't think Kenny ever said anything to my mom, but him being over was enough to make her paranoid. And when my dad found out, hoo boy. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere outside of school. Hell, my dad even tried taking me out of school but my mom stopped him; she said it would just look even more suspicious if I just dropped out. But that meant I couldn't meet up with Wendy anymore. And I honestly couldn't bring myself to disobey them. I'd spent way too many nights already reliving the nightmare that I caused; every now and then a wave of guilt would wash over me when I spoke with my mom. It didn't matter that she didn't remember, I did. It felt like deja vu sometimes; almost as if I was seeing double. I'd glance at her and see her mangled lifeless body in perfect harmony. I didn't have it in me to go against anything she asked of me because of that.
Freshman year dragged on rather slowly, but I quickly developed a pattern to fall into. I'd go to school, finish my assignments alone in the library, and come back home. It'd taken a couple months, but eventually my dad became okay with this, though I still wasn't allowed to hang out with other students outside of class. And I couldn't really blame him. I am the result of a government genetic experiment. No one knows the full extent of any superhuman abilities that can and will develop in me. I'm a liability, a risk; that's why it was impervious that I stay under the radar. In the absence of friends, however, I discovered a new hobby: game design. It started out as simple rpg levels and pixel art puzzle games and dungeons, but it quickly started to develop into much more complex game concepts and interfaces. Before I had known it, summer had ended and a new mmorpg platform was in the works. Sophomore and Junior year started and ended about the same too. Very uneventful. I did notice though that Kenny had kept true to his word: his buddies left me alone, aside from the occasional jab from Cartman, but everyone else usually tried to keep him in line. It was a weird feeling, when the day that realization hit me came. It felt almost worse than if I was being picked on. I noticed that eyes started to linger on me in the halls, and murmuring could always be heard in my presence. I'm sure rumors were spreading like wild fire. I'm sure I looked a wreck, too. I spent any and all of my free time perfecting betas for the multiple games I had started, and energy drinks were my new best friend, so I could imagine how bad under my eyes were getting. And I already was an oddball, with my neon green hair. Another perk side effect of being the product of experimentation. It felt like I was being singled out all over again, but for a different reason. It was almost as if they were scared of me, but I couldn't tell why. As far as I knew, only Kenny and Wendy remembered, and they were the only ones to notice last year when I almost obliterated Eric and Kyle. They wouldn't say anything, would they?
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“Hnngh...”
I leaned back in my chair and stretched, as my computer rendered out my latest bug patch. I turned to look at the clock, not even phased by the number reading on the digital face: 5:09 am. Not the latest I've stayed up, though it's probably too late to sleep now, I thought to myself with a shrug. It felt like I wasn't even really present lately, so time always felt weird. The past two years had flown by way too quickly, and all I seemed to remember of it was my monitor. And it was well worth it, I felt, seeing as how my game platform would officially launch tomorrow. “Tomorrow... ugh shit,” I sighed.
It was graduation already. And that meant in just over 24 hours I would be officially done with school. I'd contemplated just not walking, to try and save my mom the stress, but oddly enough she seemed encouraging of the idea to have me walk during the ceremony. I couldn't say I didn't want to at that point, so I caved and agreed to go. I stood up from my seat and did a much needed full body stretch. As I turned to go to the bathroom, a text chimed on my phone. Without looking at it, I pocketed my cell phone and went to the bathroom, before heading down to the kitchen. I looked at the text and was mildly surprised by who it was texting me so late – er, early: Kenny McCormick. I saw the mostly unanswered texts he'd send me on occasion as I read his message.
Kenny you up?
Delivered
Two words. I wasn't sure what exactly was happening but figured I should at least answer him, since I would be sitting near him at the commencement ceremony in like, a day and a half. I popped the tab on my monster energy drink and responded:
Lucien Yeah, what do you want?
Delivered
I tried to not be rude to him but it was just easier to keep a cold front with everyone nowadays. Hell, I hadn't even really spoken much with Wendy since the beginning of sophomore year. I'd explained to her about my parents, and she said she understood, but it still sucked. Lately I caught myself wishing to be in the timeline where I killed my parents, even if the whole town was basically destroyed. At least then I would've... I don't even know how to finish that sentence. It hurt to even think I could feel that way about my mom of all people, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me to have to hold them together all the time. I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. As I turned the TV on, a new text came in.
Kenny Ouch, so cold, New Kid
Delivered
Before I could respond, a second text immediately came through.
Kenny Would you want to meet up?
Kenny I'm over at Stark's Pond and I don't want to go back home yet
Kenny some shit happened
Delivered
I contemplated telling him I was still under lock down, though to be honest my parents stopped enforcing that some point during sophomore year of high school. I glanced up at the top of the stairs, trying to listen for any sign that they had stirred. When I was convinced that they were undisturbed, I let out a shaky sigh. Kenny's parents were trash, he used to confide in me about how bad they could get with each other, and if anyone understood what he'd be going through it'd be me. Hell, the week earlier my dad almost got physical with Mom again. But it'd been so long since we'd talked – since I talked to anyone outside of my family, really – and I wasn't too sure I could handle it. As I was trying to form a good reason to refuse, he texted me a photo of a grocery store bag. I could just barely make out the top of a multi pack of energy drinks.
Kenny I got cigarettes too
Kenny not sure if you smoke but I got those too
Delivered
I ran a hand through my hair as I heaved another sigh. I stood up quickly and hurried up to my room. It didn't take me long to change, I really just had to throw some jeans on and grab a hoodie – I hoped I didn't smell too bad, because I was not going to try and dig through my very messy room for a clean shirt. I shot him a text as I walked out the front door and locked it behind me.
Lucien I'll be right there
Delivered
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I tried running as fast as I could to Stark's Pond, but I was far too exhausted to exert myself that much. It took me almost twenty minutes to walk all the way out there, but sure enough, Kenny was waiting for me on a park bench, a lit cigarette hanging off his lip as he stared blankly up at the sky. I was unsure of how to best capture his attention without scaring him, but as I approached I didn't need to say anything for him to notice me. He took the cigarette out of his mouth after taking a drag, and smiled at me as he blew out the smoke, “Hey, New Kid~ took ya long enough.”
I sat next to him on the bench and shrugged in response. His eyes were red. Something really bad must've happened to make Kenny start crying. “You okay?” I finally managed to ask after several moments of awkward silence.
Kenny chuckled and offered me the carton of cigarettes, “Yeah, I mean, about as okay as I can be. Things just got pretty fucked up last night 's all...”
I lit up and grabbed an energy drink from the bag. “Do you need to talk about it?” I asked as I pulled open the tab before taking a long gulp. The burn of the caffeinated substance felt amazing on my throat, and the cold air felt surprisingly refreshing against my skin. I didn't really want to help Kenny talk through his feelings, but I guess it also wouldn't be the worst thing. To my surprise he just smiled, and nonchalantly responded, “Nah. Just didn't wanna be alone, y'know? And I figured you would be available, since you don't do anything.”
For some reason the remark stung, even though there wasn't any hatred behind his words. He'd just stated it, matter-of-factly. Why do I feel guilty? “You're lucky I just finished the project I was working on, otherwise I wouldn't even be here.”
“Project, hm? Is it something I'd be interested in?” I caught a glimpse as Kenny's eyes darted to my sleeves before looking back up at me. I know what he was insinuating, I'd heard the murmurs at school over the years. I quickly shot the idea down, “It isn't what you think. I just... I've been working on a game for a while now, and I'm incredibly close to finishing it. It launches online right after graduation and I was working through the last of the major bugs last night and this morning.”
Kenny sat up excitedly, “Oh shit, for real? That sounds cool! What platform are you releasing it on?”
I scratched the back of my neck. It felt weird talking about this with anyone other than my parents. OR just to be talking to anyone period. “It's um, it's gonna be released on PC for right now. I got a deal with Steam to release it on their platform but it's also available on my kickstarter website.”
“Oh shit~ King of all douchebags over here; you've been spending your alone time wisely I see. I would've just spent all my time alone masturbating but shit, dude, you made a game! You like, legit are doing something to make a name for yourself! I'll have to check it out sometime,” I'm not sure why seeing him so happy made me feel small inside. It hadn't occurred to me that if this took off, if this game got really big, my name would be attached. Maybe it was all the time I spent around my parents but holy fuck, is that bile in my throat? I hadn't realized how long it'd been since I'd felt any semblance of anxiety bad enough to cause an attack, but somehow the realization that this thing I made would destroy all of mine and my parents attempts to keep me specifically under the radar of anyone important. Three and a half years of isolation, of sitting in my room, alone, on my computer, and it never once occurred to me that theres now countless of projects just available to anyone who wants them on the interenet with my name attached to them. “Woah, dude,” I heard the concern in kennys voice as he quickly put out his cigarette, “You okay? I didn't mean to trigger you or anything-”
I couldn't make out what else he was trying to say, my breathing hitched in my throat as that electric sensation started to form on my finger tips on the bench. My breathing suddenly returned, but much, much cooler and I could feel a rumbling in the ground under my feet. A wave washed over me and I suddenly felt way more lightheaded than I should've – probably from the exhaustion mixed with the caffeine – and tried grabbing my head to steady myself. I could hear the muffled voice of Kenny as he tried to talk to me, to calm me down, to snap me out of whatever was happening. I could feel my vision going white, and my panic set in even harder as I realized I was losing control. I was about to unleash a massive amount of elemental energy, and oh god – Kenny was here! He's gonna get hurt, I can't stop it, no no shit no, my mind raced out of control as I felt the wind around me begin to whip and churn. Kenny stood in front of me now – I think that's his hands on my face? I closed my eyes, scared to hurt him again, it'd been so long since we were kids, I didn't want to see him dead fresh in my mind, not again, not ever.
Suddenly, I felt a warmth press to my face that was almost burning hot in comparison to my near frozen breath. My eyes snapped open to see Kenny McCormick, kissing me as he held my face in his hands. The shock was enough to stop whatever energy I'd been about to expel, but everything felt like it came crashing back at me as I snapped out of it. There was a sudden, sharp pain that shot through my arms as the tingling turned to a white hot spark in my bones, and the rumbling underneath me stopped but the lightheadedness hit me like a truck. I couldn't stop the whimper that left me as my body felt like it was threatening to rip apart. The last thing I remembered before blacking out was the the warmth, and softness of Kenny's lips pressed to mine.