Chapter Text
Writing for her was like breathing, the words flew across the page like panted breaths after a swift jog through the forest, the words dappling the ground like lost, dancing sunlight.
It was the only thing that she had. Words on paper. Pencils, lead, an eraser. Stories that came to her in the dead of night, baggy eyes and judgemental gazes from her friends, “What, did you stay up all night playing video games again?” “Oh, um, yeah,” she’d respond awkwardly, too afraid to share what she had actually been doing. They seemed to know at this point not to bring up her novel.
I don’t think this is trash.
Emi knew at this point that she needed better friends. She’d hung out with the same group of girls since elementary school--they’d all lived in the same neighborhood, so everything was easy. When you’re little, your differences don’t matter as much. All that matters is play, going to the movies, sleepovers, late night talks about nothing.
Do you even have feelings? An opinion?
The words she had said to Kageyama kept coming back to her mind, especially since he had helped pick up the pieces of her story. She really had been talking about herself. She had just been going with the flow, sticking with the friends she had just for the sake of having friends, even though they weren’t always the best. It was better than being alone, wasn’t it? It wasn’t like anyone was going to understand her stories anyways, was it?
But Kageyama had read it, and though he hadn’t seemed to really understand everything, he had read it. And really wasn’t that what was most important?
Snapping fingers in her face shook her out of her reverie. “Hey, Emi, wake up. We’re going to the arcade after school, you’re coming, right?” Machiko grinned at her, but it didn’t feel as friendly as it used to. She twirled her blond hair around a manicured finger, her eyes uninterested, asking because she was obligated.
She didn’t like the arcade anymore.
“No thanks. Um, I’ve got a thing after school,” she responded, trying to put on an extra air of confidence and indifference to match Machiko’s.
Amari leaned over from her desk next to Emi’s. “Oh? And what’s that? You gonna hang out with your ~boyfriend~?”
Emi grinned genially. “Oh stop it, guys. I just...have a lot of studying to do. You know, for the algebra test tomorrow. I put off some of my homework.” That was a lie. She was pretty good about not procrastinating. Her grades were the one thing that she felt good about, other than writing. It was the one thing that she could completely control. Could succeed at.
“You haven’t been hanging out with Kageyama instead of us, have you?” Machiko bit out, then laughed as if to soften it. “He’s a total weirdo, I don’t know how you went out with him for an entire week.”
It had been four days since Kageyama had helped pick up the pieces of her story. Her friends wouldn’t let it go. It was starting to grate on her nerves. “He’s really nice actually. Just quiet. You guys shouldn’t just judge people like that. Not before you get to know them.”
Machiko pounced on her words like a snake. She should’ve just taken the words, went with it. Went with the flow. “O-ho? And you know him,~so well~ after just a week? Do you actually like this guy, Emi? You can tell us.” Her tone was so fake it made her skin feel like it was going to melt off. She hated when Machiko got like this. Dripping with artificial curiosity and care.
She didn’t get a chance to make a come-back as the bell rang for class to begin.
At lunch, Emi grabbed some rice and a chocolate milk and paid, beginning to head towards her usual table, full to the brim with her friend group and some boys from the soccer team. They were loud and rambunctious, but she had always sat there, so what could she do.
But today, when she reached the table, all of the seats were taken. She looked around for a spare chair to pull over, before Machiko reached over and tugged on her sleeve, getting her attention.
Machiko grinned, sugar-sweet, and leaned towards her, so she could be heard above the racket of the table. “Sorry, Emi, looks like there isn’t any room today, tch, should have got here earlier I guess.”
Her other friends exchanged looks and started to move their things to make room for her at the already overbooked table. Machiko followed Emi’s gaze to their movements and shook her head violently. They stopped, moving their trays back. Machiko turned back. Her smile was dangerous. “
Oh! But I have a perfect idea. Look over there,” she pointed past Emi’s left arm. “I see your boyfriend’s table is pretty empty, why don’t you go sit with them?”
Emi turned and spotted Kageyama, sitting at a table with a third year, Kurata Tome, if she remembered right, a couple of buff looking dudes and a boy she recognized as the more popular younger Kageyama, already on the student council. Shigeo was picking at his plate, reading a manga in his lap, while the younger Kageyama and Kurata were talking animatedly about something.
Machiko shoved her towards them. “Go on,” she said playfully. “If he’s such a nice guy I’m sure he’d be fine with letting you sit with him.”
Emi started to argue, planting her feet, but the words died on her tongue. She glanced around the busy table. Two of the soccer players were attempting to shove mashed potatoes up each others noses, the other members of the team cheering them on. Amari and Karin were doing some sort of magazine test for teen girls about their romance prospects. Suddenly she wasn’t as hungry.
Machiko was trying to exclude her and make her feel bad, but she was also offering Emi an out. She could argue, throw a fit, try and stay, stay still, go with the flow, or she could consider her feelings more. She could act on her feelings.
It didn’t take very long for her to make a decision.
She put on the kindest, sappiest smile she could muster and put her hand to her chest. “You know what, Machiko? You’re right! I’d love to sit with someone who’s actually nice for once. ~See you guys~”
Her heart fluttered in her chest at the words, and she turned around before she could see Machiko’s reaction. She’d never talked back to her like that before. Machiko was the leader of their friend group, and had total control over who was let in and out. Others had been thrown to the wayside for much less.
But surprisingly, despite the weight of the words she had just said felt coming out, she felt light as she walked purposefully over to Kageyama’s table.
Kurata was the first to notice her arrival, as she slowed down on her approach, standing awkwardly behind the empty seat next to Kageyama.
Kurata narrowed her eyes as she appraised Emi, then her eyes widened as she seemed to recognize her. “Holy shit, Mob, isn’t that your girlfriend?!” She cackled gleefully, then pointed at her. “Didn’t you break up with him??” She turned to Kageyama, her eyes sparkling, giddy, rubbing her hands together maniacally. “Hey Mob-kun, want me to beat her up for you?
Emi’s heart stumbled. She hadn’t thought about that. They hadn’t ever really been in a relationship, but Kageyama’s friends probably didn’t know that. She figured she had probably hurt Kageyama’s feelings a little, but she had hoped it wasn’t too bad, since he had turned her down in the first place.
Kageyama jumped, closing his manga and looking back and forth between Kurata and Emi, his eyes widening a bit when he saw her. He turned back to Kurata, holding his hands out in an almost placating gesture. “Please don’t, Tome-chan. It’s fine.” He looked back down at his food, hand on his carton of milk.
Kurata narrowed her eyes, doing the I have my eyes on you gesture with her right hand. Just then she noticed the younger Kageyama, Ritsu? maybe, also glaring daggers at her. Maybe this had been a bad idea after all. She shifted her weight, finally putting her tray down and addressing Kageyama.
“Um, is it okay if I sit here?”
Kurata and Ritsu were silent, letting Kageyama decide. He glanced back up at her for a moment, gaze unreadable, before nodding slightly. She sat down, lips pursed as Kurata and Ritsu looked over her one more time before going back to talking about whatever they were going on about before.
She nudged around the rice on her tray, feeling awkward and out of place. Kageyama reopened his manga but didn’t turn his page for a long while, not seeming to actually be reading it.
The silence stretched on. She glanced back over her shoulder, and saw Machiko with her eyes on her, frowning. As soon as her eyes met Emi she put on a smile and waved as if to say, “Having fun over there?” She frowned and turned back to her meal. She wasn’t hungry anymore.
Finally Kageyama spoke. “How is your novel going?” He had put away his book again, obviously having too hard of a time focusing on it. Emi had a hard time reading him--she already was pretty bad at reading most people in general, but his tone seemed friendly enough, if not a bit nervous.
“Oh! It’s going, I guess. I haven’t gotten a lot done in the past couple of days. Thanks again for, you know, saving it. You, you didn’t have to do that.”
Kageyama’s eyes crinkled a little at the edges, a bit of a smile tugging his lips. “It’s important. You spent time on it. You didn’t deserve to have it ripped up like that.”
Emi swallowed. Why was Kageyama so nice to her? She didn’t feel like she deserved it, after making fun of him with her friends and lying to him for a week.
He went on-he was talking more now, had he really taken the things she had said about him not having an opinion to heart?- picking up his fork and nudging around some carrots. “I um, well I know you don’t like me apologizing too much, so I wanted to say thank you. Instead.” He paused for a moment, the fork in his hand suddenly bending and twisting into a knot. He sighed and set it on the table, where it was quickly picked up by Ritsu, who held it and with a flare of purple-blue was righted again, before he set it back down on Kageyama’s tray. Kageyama smiled at him in thanks and then turned back to Emi. “Um, for sharing your story with me. No one’s done something like that before, so I didn’t really know what to say when I was done reading it. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand it. Sor- Um.” He cut himself off and looked back down at his tray.
Emi was speechless for a moment. “Oh.” She finally managed, nudging around her own food for a minute, before looking back up at him. “Well you’re the first person I shared it with, so I wasn’t really sure what to expect either. I was kinda nervous, ha. Um, how about….who was your favorite character?”
After that they chattered back and forth about her story, totally forgetting their meals in front of them. Kageyama was fun to talk to. He didn’t really have a lot to say, but she could tell he had really been thinking about her story. He cared about it, and no one ever really had before. It was nice.
***
Shigeo wasn’t really sure what to think of Emi’s sudden reappearance at the lunch table that day. She was fun to talk to, for sure, but he hoped everything was going okay with her. After the way that her friends had acted about her story the other day, he wondered if they were being mean to her. He didn’t know how to help her other than just letting her sit with him during lunch, so that’s what he did.
Once the Body Improvement club was over for the day, Ritsu intercepted him so they could walk home together. Usually Ritsu stayed even later with the Student Council, working on posters or some sort of project.
“Hey nii-san, I wanted to talk to you.” Ritsu had a concerned look on his face. Maybe a little exasperated, mixed with frustration. Ritsu was the only person that Shigeo could read like a book, and he’d gotten a lot better at it in the past few years. He could feel others’ emotions too, but they were so much easier to pinpoint on his little brother.
“Oh, okay, Ritsu. What about?” He shifted his bag on his shoulder and started towards home, looking back to make sure Ritsu was keeping pace with him.
Ritsu glanced to the side, suddenly nervous. “About Emi-chan. She sat with us at lunch today.”
Shigeo nodded. “Yeah. I think her other friends might be giving her a hard time.”
“Oh.” Ritsu nodded. “I’m just...worried. She broke up with you less than a week ago. I’m just worried about her intentions. I don’t want you to get hurt again, nii-san.”
Shigeo tilted his head, feeling a lightness in his chest. Ritsu was so smart and thoughtful. “I think it’s okay. She just wants to be friends, I think. Anyways, I like Tsubomi-chan, so you don’t have to worry about Emi-chan.”
Ritsu sighed, but nodded his ascension. He was obviously still concerned.
Shigeo was silent for a few moments, deep in thought, wondering if there was something he could say that would make Ritsu worry less. “People change, Ritsu. I think Emi-chan is a really good person, and she deserves a second chance. Yeah, she hurt my feelings, but it happens. It’s not the end of the world.”
“Okay. Just be careful. And know that I’m not afraid to kick a girl’s ass if she even thinks about hurting you again.” Ritsu nudged his shoulder playfully, but there was a sharpness to his tone that meant he was being entirely serious. Shigeo let himself smile, just a little.
***
Spirits and Such was almost always pretty quiet in the mid-afternoons. People were still at work at their 9-5s, stuck in traffic, out to dinner. Reigen liked to use the time to spiff up the office--he’d say if he was actually a hardworking, real adult. Instead, he mostly played rhythm games on his cheap flip-phone. Or watched cat videos on his laptop.
Today though, he was unspeakably bored. Mob wouldn’t be in for another hour, his phone had died and his charger had stopped working the day before and he hadn’t had a chance to buy a new one, and he had already watched all the cat compilations youtube had to offer, twice.
He spun miserably in his rolly chair, feeling sorry for himself. Suddenly, the door opened, setting off the little bells he had attached last week, alerting him cheerily of a walk-in customer. He spun around, his customer service voice ready to lay it on thick. “Hello, welcome to Spirits and--oh it’s just you Mob. Aren’t you a little early today?”
Mob had been surprisingly talkative lately, showing more emotion than Reigen had ever seen from him before. But the last few days, he had been back to his normal self, if not quieter than before. He briefly wondered if something had happened, or if this was just normal teen stuff the poor kid was going through.
Mob shrugged. “It was a half day today. The body-improvement club went to watch a wrestling match and everyone else was busy so I figured I’d just come here. I did text you.”
Reigen let his hands flare about, finally landing on his torn charger. “Ah! Sorry Mob, phone died. Well we don’t have anyone scheduled for the rest of today, so we’re just waiting for walk-ins. You have homework to work on, I assume?”
Mob shrugged again, shuffling over to his small desk and pulling out a textbook. He flipped it to a random page--was it also upside down?--before staring at it with a one-hundred yard stare.
Something must be going on. Should he pick his brain now, or closer to when he was going to leave? Maybe he could use some takoyaki.
Dimple wandered in then, appearing through the wall. He glanced at Mob and his upside down textbook, and raised his eyebrows at Reigen. Reigen mouthed “Anything going on?” But the spirit just shrugged in response, floating over to the young esper.
Mob put the textbook down. “Hey Dimple.”
Dimple seemed about to say something, probably some cutting remark about the methods of Mob’s study habits, when the door jingled again, and this time, it was a middle-aged woman and her child, a girl who looked to be just a bit younger than Mob.
Before Reigen could rattle on his welcoming statement, the woman yanked her daughter roughly in front of her, and then pushed her towards Reigen’s desk. Immediately, alarm bells were going off in his head, as the child furiously was wiping away tears, trying not to meet Reigen’s gaze.
“No one is listening to me, or believes me. My son, here,” she shook the girl’s--boy’s?-- shoulder slightly, and the child tensed, letting out a shuddering sob. “Is possessed! It’s the only explanation! He’s going around wearing dresses, he cut his hair, he’s telling everyone he wants to be called Morie. He’s telling people he’s a girl! This spirit is ruining our family’s reputation! Please, sir, you’ve got to get rid of it!” Her tone was shrill, her eyes red and wild.
Reigen looked over the kid, who was wiping away a glob of snot with the back of their hand. He got up, motioning the kid and their mom to sit down on the chairs at the side of the room, and handing the box of tissues to the kid. They grabbed it gratefully, wiping themselves off and blowing their nose. Reigen glanced over at Mob, who was giving their clients a puzzled look. Dimple’s eyes were narrowed, sneering disapprovingly at the mother. Ah, just as he thought. There was no spirit here.
Reigen knew how hard it was for some parents to accept their kid was trans. His own mom had taken years to come around, and still misgendered him around family sometimes. It royally sucked ass. But at least she had never thought he was possessed.
But how to break it to this mother? He couldn’t say there was a spirit when there wasn’t, it wouldn’t stop her kid from being a girl. But he also didn’t want to put this kid in any worse of a situation than she was already in.
“Could I speak to your--to the spirit alone for a moment ma’am, please? I need to focus if the exorcism is to go well. There’s some tea and a chair in the other room over there, Mob, could you make sure it’s warmed up?”
Mob nodded, and the woman pursed her lips, glancing at her daughter worriedly before following his student into the other room. Mob reappeared a moment later, closing the door after him.
Reigen sat on the table, much like he had when Mob had come in all those years ago. First things first. “Are you in any danger?” He asked Morie. Without her mom behind her, she had relaxed a little.
She finally met Reigen’s gaze with owlish brown eyes. “I don’t think so. I’m not possessed; you’re for real, right? You can tell that?”
Reigen nodded. “I’m the 21st century’s greatest psychic! Of course I can tell. Also I’ve been around the block a few times. I know a trans kid when I see one. So coming out didn’t go as planned I assume?”
The girl sighed in relief. “No...it didn’t. I’d been trying to hint at it for ages. I brought up friends, to try and see what she thought of trans people, and she seemed fine with it, but I guess it isn’t okay if it’s me. I told her, and she didn’t believe me, telling me again and again that I was her handsome son. She wouldn’t take me to get new clothes, or a different haircut, so finally I just did it on my own. Then she flipped out. She tried to take me to a therapist, and they tried to tell her about transgender people, and that’s what I seemed to be, and I was her daughter now, but she didn’t believe them. I think she hates me.” Morie’s eyes welled up again, and she let her head fall into her hands.
Oof. Reigen remembered feeling the exact same thing when he had come out to his own mother. It had felt like a betrayal. His mom had always told him before that that she would love him no matter what, but apparently that what hadn’t included his transness. At least that’s what it had felt like at the time. “I know that isn’t true.” Reigen began, his voice soft, gestures light. “Sometimes adults are really bad at change. We get set into seeing things only a certain way, and when that view, changes, especially when it’s someone we are so close to, it can be really difficult. Now that doesn’t excuse her, or any adults behavior, but that might help you understand where she is coming from a little more. But again, how she is acting is unfair, and you deserve better.”
He pulled out a business card from inside his suit and folded it into Morie’s hand. She was hanging on to his every word like her life depended on it. Again, he was reminded of Mob. “Now I want to talk to your mom, and hopefully another adult will help her be a little more willing to learn and understand. Regardless, keep that card, and if you ever need anything, someone to talk to, whatever, use it. Alright?”
Morie nodded, her bangs bouncing with the movement.
Reigen had Mob bring the mother back in. She had a look of worry mixed with hopefulness tingeing her face. “Did you get rid of it? Is my son back?”
Reigen took a deep breath. Morie’s eyes bore a hole in the floor. “Ma’am, I’m Reigen Arataka, the 21st century’s greatest psychic, and I could not find a spirit possessing your child. 100% guaranteed.”
The woman’s face turned sour, and she pulled a hand through dirty blonde hair. “No, you’re wrong.
My son would never do a thing like this, bring so much shame on our family.”
“Ma’am have you ever heard of people who are transgender?” He started carefully.
The woman narrowed her eyes. “Of course I have! And so has Fumio. And he knows that those people are abominations. It’s not natural, and my son is perfect! He can’t have anything to do with those sorts of people.”
Reigen had to suppress a snort at that last statement. Oh the irony. “I’m sorry you feel that way. But your daughter is transgender. And as her mother, it’s your responsibility to support her, no matter what. I agree, your daughter is perfect. And she has decided to share something special to her that’s been with her her whole life. Do you know the amount of trust that takes? How scary it is? And this--” he flails his arm around. “Is how you react to it?”
The woman looked appalled, and then angry. He’d definitely overstepped his bounds. Oops. She grabbed her daughter’s hand and yanked her up. “C’mon, Fumio. We’re leaving.”
She stomped out the door, dragging Morie behind her, who glanced over her shoulder at Reigen, her gaze unreadable. They soon disappeared down the stairs, the door slamming behind them.
Reigen leaned back on the table, letting his head hang off and letting out an exasperated sigh.
“Jesus.” He hissed, and then sat back up. “Some people are just…” He let himself trail off.
Mob was staring at him intently, looking puzzled. “She wasn’t possessed.” He stated bluntly.
Reigen laughed hollowly. “No, Mob she wasn’t. She’s trans, and her mom is having a hard time being okay with it.”
“Oh.” Mob looked at the ground. There was that one-hundred yard stare again. “So she was raised as a boy, and her mom wants her to be a boy, but she’s actually a girl?”
“Yes, Mob,” Reigen supplied amiably. “That’s what being trans is.”
Mob lapsed into silence again. Dimple floated around his head before asking. “What, you never met a trans person before?”
Mob shook his head. “Not that I know of.” He turned back to Reigen, and seemed like he was trying to form the words to say something, but either thought better of it or gave up. Mob wasn’t always good at voicing the questions he had. He’d just need time to form the words.
Reigen let him think, getting back up and falling back into his rolly chair and tapping at his laptop.
“People are trans, Mob.” Was the last thing he said about it.