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You lost! Everything and almost everyone you
knew and loved are all gone. You’ve been with the Avengers for a few years now and been in many battles and served with them on many missions and yet you can’t help but blame yourself somehow for being one of the few surviving hero’s left in the entire universe. Thanos won he destroyed your life the very moment he snapped his fingers and let the infinity stones do the rest. You and the rest of them retreated back to headquarters in upstate New York after the Wakanda battle in the quinjet.
Honestly you just wished you just turned to dust just like your your friends did honestly as you thought more about it and dead would be better for you since there’s nothing left worth living for anymore. Over the years you never figured it out until now but the worst thing for a hero to feel is not just losing the fight but being given the painful mercy of living afterwords only to feel a worse pain of losing those you work everyday to fight for and protect and knowing that there’s nothing that you can do about it to save them. After changing out of your uniform in your room. You just sat alone into the darkness of your room and letting your mind enter a endless void of guilt and regret feeling like you could’ve done something but there was nothing left to do but wait until Steve and the others come for you and brief you on the next move. Suddenly your thoughts and feelings were interrupted but a sudden sound of someone knocking at your door as you turned your head brushing a strand of your hair out of the way.
“Yeah come in!” You said barely able to find your voice.
The door opened and the person stuck their head just enough inside to see you. You saw that it was Natasha.
“Hey Y/N!, You need to come down the others are gathering up and there’s something else you need to see!” She told you, showing a bit of hesitation at the last little bit of information.
Both of you walked down the hall and down the stairs on the main level. “Y/N you remember that device we found by Fury’s car after he disappeared.” She asked causally, you were searching your memory and you do recall that device and how it must’ve been something important knowing Fury.
“Yeah what about it did Steve and Bruce power it up in the lab yet?”
“Yes, but it stopped a little bit ago apparently it was an old fashion pager of Fury’s back from the 90’s it was modified to work as some kind of emergency alert beacon that was sending a signal to someone!” She explained.
Your were slightly shocked and you could tell where Nat was going with this so you just got straight to the point. “Wait Nat are you saying that before Fury literally bit the dust he contacted another person for help!”
Your friend nodded in response.
“But it wasn’t just someone though, apparently it was another superhero that was in deep space all these years, also she knew Fury when he was still a field agent for S.H.I.E.L.D. and like Wanda and Petiro she got her powers from the tesseract in an accident that ended up giving her powers unlike anyone else, but there was another race of aliens and she felt it was her obligation to help them and end a space war on the other side of the universe since earth was safe but in case the situation ever did occur like the nightmare we are in now she modified it and gave it to Fury so he could contact her for emergency’s only though and she just showed up a little bit ago and pretty much explained everything that I explained to you only I told you the less detailed version of her story though!” Nat finished.
Your mind felt like it was malfunctioning you couldn’t believe it so there actually was another hero out there in the universe and from the brief lay down that Nat gave you about this so called hero she pretty much made it seem like you could’ve used her help earlier. Wait a minute...She!
You quickly turned your head to Nat and cleared your throat. “Wait! She this stranger is a girl!” You asked in complete disbelief. Well honestly if it were another time when you heard this news you would be thrilled because there weren’t many girls on the team. However since you remembered that this is a worst case scenario and that this person shows up when you’ve lost and don’t really need any help since the stones are gone and it will be nearly impossible to get them back now that Thanos is the most powerful being in the entire universe. The two of you finally made your way into the room were everyone else was and then that’s when you went blind at the sight before you.
The way Nat said this space girls story she didn’t give any descriptions about how she looked and this woman was drop dead gorgeous. She noticed you and Nat enter the room and her eyes met yours as she just eyed you quickly up and down.
“Y/N this is a new ally of ours Captain Marvel!” Steve said gesturing towards her.
“Yeah I was just given the run down of her origin, at least the quick version!” You replied.
The two of you finally took your eyes off of each other and a few minutes passed by as you all were discussing about the damage that Thanos has and is currently causing. Millions of people were disappearing all over the world.
“He used the stones again!” Natasha commented.
The rest of you were talking about how they were going to plan one last attack towards Thanos. Until Bruce was the first to object of this idea.
“Hey, hey, hey, we’d be going in short handed you know!” He said as if he were trying to snap some sense into us.
“He’s still got the stones you know!”
Rhodey added.
You felt yourself nod at the point.
Carol was on the other side of the room and she couldn’t help but just keep her mouth shut especially since she’s been away from earth for so long and comes back at the worst possible time ever. She also couldn’t imagine what these other hero’s were going through especially since they lost their teammates and their own family’s and friends.
“So lets get them, we use them to bring everyone back!” Carol said plainly.
“Just like that!” Bruce asked trying to figure out if she was actually serious.
“Yeah just like that!” Steve confirmed.
“Even if there’s a small chance we can undo this, I mean we owe it to everyone who’s not in this room to try!” Nat confirmed.
You suddenly felt the need to intervene. “Yeah I mean everyone who’s not in this room died trying to save the world and live up to their names as hero’s, we gotta do something while were still alive it’s better to die trying to save the world rather than live with letting it end!”
You said proudly.
“If we do this how do we know it’s gonna end any differently then it did before?” Bruce implied.
“Because before you didn’t have me!”
Carol said.
You turned your head towards her and you suddenly felt rising feelings of rage and grief mix together within you as you heard those words come of the girl’s mouth. Honestly the way you heard it, it’s like she doesn’t seem to realize that things aren’t just that simple. Besides where the hell was she when you watched everyone you cared about die painfully and turn into dust. Who the hell does she think she is Ms. Invincible. Luckily Rhodey spoke up before you got a chance to open your mouth.
“Hey new girl everybody in this room is about that superhero life, and if you don’t mind my asking where the hell have you been all this time?” Rhodey asked seriously.
You felt some relief that he had been the one to ask her that question instead of you. However she seemed unfazed by the question.
“There are a lot of other planets out there in the universe, and unfortunately they didn’t have you guys!” Carol fires back at us.
Now your blood was boiling and you felt like Hulk wanting to explode at her but you felt like you needed to try to at least keep your cool, but still say something to this smart ass.
You stood up and gave her a dangerous glare. “Are you sure because last I checked there ‘were’ a lot of other planets out there in the universe and I’m sure they are still out there now but not for much longer though newbie now that there’s a maniac out there that’s going to end those precious planets of yours after he destroys ours!” You fired back at her from across the room trying to match the same smart ass tone as her. Her eyes darted at you almost matching your glare at her.
“You know what your saying doesn’t really matter either considering that Earth might be going through hell but those other planets in those other galaxies out there also have wars and conflicts that they always seem to go through constantly even way before Thanos showed up, and lives are being lost as we speak!” She started getting closer to you as she make her remark.
You held your ground as you only felt more envious towards her. “Really well in that case I bet that on every one of those planets you’ve been to and protected you lost the biggest fights on each of them and watched everyone who fought with you die and could do nothing about it as you watched their deaths as it happened right, so you know what it’s like to fail as a hero and lose everything you’ve ever known and loved and be able to move on then huh!” Putting your hands on your hips you felt both angry and hurt as each word came out of your mouth at Carol.
The others in the room were starting to catch onto y/n’s sudden attitude and outbursts at Carol. But none decided to intervene unless of course it reached the point where fists would go flying between the two of them.
Carol scoffed at you and before you knew it she was right in front of you her face was mere inches away from yours but you showed no sign of fear towards her. “You know you are a real bitch, every hero has an obligation to protect a certain part of the universe and while you were here protecting the earth that always ended up settling things peacefully and getting to relax at the end of the day once the fight’s over, for me the fight is never over and when it is I don’t sit back and get to take a break and wait for the next one to start no I’m always needed up there I protect those who can’t protect and fight for themselves especially since there’s only one of me up there and a lot of you down here so I think that your the one to talk about being a hero!” The words were venom to you. God does she have a comeback for everything.
You rolled your eyes, “Oh please you talk about obligation like it’s inflexible to you and that we should give you the benefit of the doubt because of your obligations to those other aliens and people out there, well what about your responsibilities why don’t you use your common sense because if you have any then you would have seen that you can’t always rely on others to tell you when somethings wrong and not bother to take some time to come back to check to make sure your home is still there!” You felt on the verge of putting your fist right in her face.
You swore that you were seeing steam coming out of her nose as she tightened the expression as it went from bad to worse. Obviously Carol had enough of you as you had enough of her.
“Honestly what the hell is your problem with me, what did I ever do to you tell me why?” Carol screamed right in your face before backing off.
That’s it. “You really want to know what I have against you, okay here it is I am fucking pissed at you for not bothering to check up on your home planet once a while and just abandoned it to know that a giant purple man wiped out half of everything and everyone and that you claim to have been busy for 24 years being out there saving other worlds that are suffering worse than ours is right now, and that you use that as a god damn excuse as to why you weren’t here when we needed you and on top of that you don’t seem to understand what the living hell where now in feels like and think the minute you show up you can go and kick Thanos’ ass like it’s nothing and disregarding everyone else who actually fought their hearts out who don’t have powers like you against him and in the end you’ll probably just fly off back to those other planets out there not even bothering to help those who’ve lost everything in the process, like they themselves mean absolutely nothing you mother fucking smart ass BITCH!!” You yelled at the top of your lungs as you noticed her expression broke into fear as she backed away from you.
You felt yourself breathing heavy after you realized what you just did. You turned your head to see the eyes of everyone else in the room wide with shock as the room filled with complete and awkward silence. Your eyes quickly returned their attention to Carol as she looked petrified at the emotional outburst you just attacked her with. As you felt the anger starting to fade away as you finally got it out. In its place you felt pain, suffering, and pure sadness. You didn’t even want to fight it as you let yourself fall apart in front of everyone. Tears started to flow over your eyes as your vision became blurred. You couldn’t make out the exact looks on the others faces as you show them all how hurt and shattered you were.
You wiped your eyes finally and got a clear view of the only person who you wanted to see what happened to you. The look on Carol’s face had been completely covered in guilt as she kept her eyes on you the whole time. You sniffled before opening your mouth. “I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to put this on you at all it’s just I’ve always lost people in my life and I’ve always seemed to lose everything I care about and fail at everything, I failed my team, I’ve failed my friends, my family, the people I’m suppose to protect, I’ve failed at being a hero and Avenger, and worst of all I failed myself!” You croaked out. Your knees became weak as you quickly turned on your heel and bolted right for the door and out of the room up the stairs and slammed your door shut running right for the bedroom and dropping down on your bed and entering an eternity of grief as you were crying your broken heart out.
You stayed there for a good amount of time and your pillow was drenched from the endless stream of tears that just never seemed to stop. You could tell it was now dark outside. You’d guessed it had been about a few hours now since the meeting with the new girl that probably despises you now. A sudden knock came at your door it’s probably Nat or Steve cause they are usually the ones who give the cheer up talks. You didn’t respond as the door knob creaked as the person let themself in and heard the slow footsteps making their way to your room. They finally came to a halt as you felt the presence of whoever it was in the doorway of your bedroom. However you refused to let yourself move to see who it was. You kept your eyes tight shut as you continued your endless crying as you were curled up. Then you felt the other person sit down on the bed with you and two soft hand gently pull you up as you followed along with it you felt to weak right now to fight anyone. You now were pulled into the stranger feeling you head resting on their shoulder as their arms snakes behind your back pulling you closer feeling the emanating warmth from the persons body flowing through yours.
You continued to sob not as hard as earlier but you felt better knowing whoever it was that was holding you in their arms gave you feelings of comfort that you so desperately needed now more than ever. “Shhh...it’s okay let it out.” A voice suddenly whispered over your mellow sobs and sniffles. You recognized the voice and couldn’t believe it, and immediately leaned back and opened your eyes to confirm your suspicions and there she was, Carol Danvers.
You sat there staring at her with wide eyes and your mouth slightly opened that you quickly reminded yourself to shut. Even though it was dark you could still see the features on her face and her eyes met yours as the gaze between the two of you continued on. “W-what are you doing here.” You barely said to her. Carol’s expression was way softer than earlier. Honestly she’s the last person you’d ever expect to be here in a situation like this for you. Especially after the heated argument you had with her the last time you two were together.
“I wanted to make sure that you’re okay, after what went down earlier during the meeting!” Carol explained.
“Oh, I’m actually quite shocked I mean I’d actually expect one of the others to be here right now!” Trying not to sound offensive towards her.
“Yeah, your right after you stormed out earlier all your other friends were actually worried because they told me that you’ve never looked that hurt before, Steve was going to talk to you but I told him that I wanted to do it instead!” She shrugged lightly.
“Wait you wanted to do this, nobody asked you to!” Carol nodded. Now you were confused and your confusion could only be described in one word.
“Why?” You asked seriously.
“Why, after everything I did to you and I honestly am regretting every thing I said about you and I have no right to judge someone who had absolutely no idea what was going on, I’m sorry!” You told her sincerely as tears threatened to spill over your eyes again in front of her.
“You have nothing to be sorry for Y/N, in fact you were actually right about most of those things in some way, and the reason as to why I’m here right now is because I want to be here for you because I feel responsible for what’s happened to you!” Carol said brushing a strand of hair out of your face behind your ear.
Your heart suddenly flipped at the sound of those words. “Y-you came here for me!” Stuttering slightly again.
Carol nodded as a small smile started to form on her face. “You know your friends told me about you, how out of all the other superhero’s in the universe to them your the one who always cares
more about people than anyone else!” Carol explained raising an eyebrow at you.
You actually felt a smile at that. You knew you’d be a pain in their asses every now and then and they knew that you were too modest to admit it though.
“They also said that you a quite a thinker as well, that you’re the queen of the ‘What If?’ scenario, I honestly was impressed believe it or not about all the good points you brought up about me earlier.” You felt a slight blush on your cheeks that you hoped the darkness would hide from Carol, but she noticed.
“You were right about me though as well, I mean I shouldn’t question your heroism because of one event and disregarding everything else you done for others over the years regardless if it’s earth related or not!” You admitted.
“Well If you look at it this way I didn’t know about you anymore than you knew about me so why don’t we call it even!” Carol suggested. You both laughed slightly at that. You couldn’t help but notice how angelic her voice sounded and how amazing her smile looked even more so when it was towards you.
“Agreed!” You said in between chuckles.
“I guess we both have that in common though!”
She said.
Wiping one of the last tears from your face you looked at her with a soft expression. “What do we have in common?”
Carol sighed. “That unbearable guilt that seems to tear us apart from the inside slowly!”
You had to admit she had a point there. Only difference is that even before the snap happened you knew that every time you lost you’d feel like it was your fault in some way. But you would never show anyone how broken and in pain you were feeling on the inside. Until today though you knew that it wasn’t just the guilt for being one of the few survivors left, but you just couldn’t hold any of it in anymore and just let it all out on someone who wanted to help. You felt the urge to finally open up for once.
“Well you seem to be handling it better than I did though!” You commented earning a slight chuckle from Carol.
“You got me there, but I keep asking myself how much longer until I lash out as well!” Her voice shifted from sarcastic to hurt immediately.
Now it made you break to see her so sad now. You put you hand on her shoulder catching her attention once more as her eyes were drawn back to yours seeing the similar weight of grief as yours.
“You let it out before it gets to that point, believe me take it from someone whose tried to push these kind of things aside, they’ll only keep building up leading to a big explosion that you’ll end up regretting especially if you end up lashing out at someone you care about!”
You gave her a sympathetic look a slight smile on your face appeared before you even knew it. She returned the gesture to you.
“Thanks Y/N!” Nudging your shoulder.
“Your welcome Danvers!”
She giggled at that for a moment. “Please call me Carol!”
Your stomach suddenly did a series of flips feeling a sudden warmth that seemed strange to you but comforting at the same time.
“Huh, I like that name it suits you, a beautiful name for a beautiful woman!”
Not realizing that your just called her beautiful as your face became redder than a tomato and you prayed to God that she didn’t hear what you just said. But she did as you quickly dared to look back at her and Carol’s brows were raised and her eyes were wide. Only feeling more embarrassed you quickly tried to look away and avoid her with your mouth quickly opening and closing.
“I-I, What I meant was, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to seem-“ You stuttered away trying to fix the situation you put yourself in.
However you felt a warm and soft hand reach up under your chin and slowly bringing your face the other way. The hand belonged to Carol who brought her hand from you chin to caressing your cheek. Your eyes met hers again and saw that here eyes were now filled up with what you were sure to be lust. Her other hand came up to the other cheek and Carol pulled your face towards hers. You could barely register what was happening right now. Your eyes naturally closed and you felt her lips against yours. Electricity was flowing between the two of you as you relaxed yourself releasing a moan deciding to return the kiss back to her and brought your arms to her waist pulling her closer to you. As Carol’s arms slid around your neck deepening the kiss. Your tongue was clashing with hers both trying to gain entrance to the others mouth.
The world around you seemed to disappear completely. During this moment you truly felt loved for the first time in your life. The first time you were not alone. Your worries and troubles and the nightmare you were in all seemed to fade away and all that mattered was this moment as if everyone else in your life was gone and it was just you and her. She seemed to be the part of your life that was missing. What felt like an eternity passed by and both of you were brought back to reality by the sound of someone else in the room.
You and Carol broke the kiss and both of you turned your attention towards the doorway. Your friend Natasha was leaning against the doorway with her arms crossed giving you one of those looks that Sam or Bucky gave Steve every time he was romancing with a woman. Which made you roll your eyes.
“Well well look at this talk about ‘kiss and make up’ or should I say ‘out’ the others got a location on Thanos so you two lovebirds get your butts downstairs.” Natasha said before leaving with a chuckle.
Once she was gone you and Carol took a moment both of you were still gasping for air, and met each other’s gaze again and both of you just chuckled.
“Well that was very nice!” You said.
“Yes indeed Y/N, I think it’s safe to say that we both felt something!” She said flirtatiously.
You arched an eyebrow.
“Absolutely Carol!”
“I guess we show go get the stones, kill Thanos, and bring everyone back before we come back to this Y/N!” Carol suggested.
“Well what are we waiting for then, the sooner the better!” You said.
With that both of you got up and headed out ready to go get that purple son of a bitch.