Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Clarke finishes taking the pictures out of the wall, her room is bare, all her books were already at the new house, her clothes in suitcases, her paintings ready to go in the moving truck. She trails her fingertips along the doorframe, tracing the marks that show her height over the years. The oldest marking from when she was seven, her first time in the new house.

“Daddy, I don’t wanna live here. I wanna go back to Neyok, please daddy!” The small blonde girl said with tears streaming down her face, her teddy bear crushed between her arms with her backpack still strapped against her tiny frame.

“Hey baby girl, don’t cry. Why do you want to go back to New York?” The baby blue of his eyes only a few shades lighter than the ones starring at him; Clarke had been excited about the trip in the begging but since they brought up the moving her mood had completely changed.

“I wanna my friends, and my school, and my teacher, and my toys and my bed, I don’t wanna new house, can we go back please daddy.” She loved her school and their old apartment, it was small, but it was close to the park, and Ellie lived next door, and Jonah the doorman was always nice to her and gave her chocolate every time he saw her.

“But mama and I are here now, grandpa and nana are here too. You can go to a new school and meet new friends, and this house is much bigger than our old apartment, this room can fit more toys than the older one.” He could see his daughter thinking this through, but she wasn’t convinced yet, he knew she didn’t care for more toys, Clarke had always been a simple girl, she was kind and always tried to take care of everyone.

Once when they were at the park, a little boy was being tormented by older kids, one of them broke the little boys truck and he began to cry, Clarke took the pair of cars her uncle Kane had given her as a birthday and offered one to the boy, they played together for the rest of the afternoon and when it was time to go home the boy tried to give it back to her, she simply said the car liked him better so it was his now. The boy’s mom told her that he couldn’t keep it, to what Clarke answered: “Mama says is rude to don’t accept presents, unless is for strangers and I am not a stranger, I am Clarke!”. The little boy was nodding his head, Jake laughed and told the mom it was ok, the kids hugged and said goodbye.

“Come on baby girl, what do you say? Don’t you like the pool?”

“Yeah” the little blonde answered.

“See, we can’t have a pool at our apartment.” Maybe this would convince his daughter.

Shaking her head Clarke began to say: “But my room is there, with my bed and all the pictures we did together daddy. I don’t wanna lose my pictures.” She started to cry again. 

So, there it was, this was all about the pictures. Clarke passion for art had shown pretty early, she loved to draw, paint and color, the museums where one of her favorite outings. Scooping her in his arms, he gently dried her tears.” Baby, your pictures are all here, we just didn’t take them from the box yet. Do you really think I would let all our work there?” A small no and a shake of her head were all he needed. “Of course not, they are special for me too Clarke. Let’s make a deal, you will stop crying and I will go get the box with your pictures and we are going to put them up right now, but you have to take your backpack off and start making your bed. What do you say? Deal?”.

“Yes, daddy. Deal!” She was smiling now, a toothy grin that was the most brilliant thing he had ever seen, he loved her so much, he would do anything to make her happy. He was going down the stairs when she called. “Daddy, can we put my name on the door? So it is really mine.” He started laughing “Shure thing baby, actually, I have a better idea…”

And that was how the first mark was made, so many memories in this house. She was crying the first time she entered her room; she is not going to cry now. She isn’t a kid anymore, she is sixteen and the last thing her parents need is for her to start crying, she is strong, they are just moving to another town, that is not that bad, right? Just four hours. Four hours away from her school, her team, her friends and her boyfriend. Ok, maybe she doesn’t care too much about the last one.

Raven and Octavia had been friends all their life, they were inseparable, they would spend all their time together at school, more often than not they would even sleep in each other houses, sharing clothes and toys as if they were twins. It was cute, but they didn’t have any other friends, which was ok because no one was good enough, that was until Clarke had started school. The blonde was shy and very quiet but Octavia had liked her blue pencil case and Raven thought her drawings were really cool. And then they were the three musketeers, it was them against the world.

With time the group started to grow, first, it came Monty and Jasper in third grade, then in middle school Harper and Fox, Murphy was the last one in the beginning of High Scholl at Arkadia High. They looked after each other, study together, were in every game Octavia, Raven and Fox played, every academic decathlon Jasper and Monty participated and every dance and cheer presentation or competition from Clarke and Harper, they were together so much that it was common for their parents and family to ask them to come to parties and get-togethers. That was how Clarke met Finn.

He and Raven had practically grown together, their parents were friends, they were neighbors all their life, he was in every birthday party Raven had. So it wasn’t a surprise when he offered Clarke to show her around the school in the first day of High Scholl, he was a sophomore who knew his way around and she really needed help getting to her history class. One week later and he was waiting for Clarke after almost every class to walk her to the next one, he asked her on a date at the end of the third month.

Clarke knew Raven had a crush on the boy in the past, but her friend reassured her that it was a childhood crush and nothing more, that if she was interested in him, she should accept. Clarke did, and two months later they were officially a couple, he was polite, cute and overall a gentleman, all the girls from the cheer squad were swooning over him, he had just made the football team; he wasn’t the star quarterback, but he was the next in line for the position and that added to his good looks were enough for her.

They were together for almost a year when Jake was diagnosed, their relationship had definitely changed then. Clarke stopped going to parties with him and her friends, she would spend a lot of time in the hospital with her dad and when they were able to convince her to go out, she would be distant and distracted; on their dates was like she wasn’t even there.

Since Jake had been diagnosed with cancer Clarke shared her time between school, cheer practice or the hospital, and if she was with her friends or her boyfriend, she was wishing she was with her dad, that was how the last six months were for Clarke. He was going through treatment after treatment, but it wasn’t working, the doctor said that he had 7 months at the most.

Clarke was heartbroken, her dad would never see her graduate, or walk her to the altar, he wouldn’t be there to help her move to her college dorm or met her children if she ever had any. Abby wasn’t doing much better, Jake was definitely the glue on their family, Clarke and Abby fought all the time and he was always the one to calm them both. What they were going to do without him? Neither of them knew.

The Griffins had never been religious, but they definitely thanked the heavens and any deity that was out there when an old college colleague of Abby sent he some information about a new treatment that was being tested in the hospital he worked. He knew about Jake condition and advised Abby to ask Jake’s doctor to get in contact with his hospital.

The doctor explained that the new treatment wasn’t guaranteed but they didn’t have any other options, this was Jake’s last chance, Abby and Clarke would do anything for this, including moving to Polis, a slightly smaller town 4 hours ways from Arkadia. Clarke got a cheerleading and art scholarship to Polis Academy, Abby found a job as a cardiothoracic surgeon in the same hospital Jake would be treated, they rented an apartment, and Jake moved as soon as he was accepted in the trial.

Abby started her new job and Clarke went to live with her grandparents for a month before school ended, it was hard to concentrate when all she wanted to do was be with her parents, but she kept her 3.8 GPA, went out with her friends, worked out every day and tried to act like a normal teenager.

At the beginning of the summer vacation, Clarke went to Polis, she and her mom found a house for them to live at, Abby took some days off so they could go back to Arkadia to start packing, Clarke stayed in Polis with Jake, she had missed her dad so much. The treatment was going ok, it was too soon to say if it was working but at least Jake was stable for now.

Clarke spent the rest of the summer between Polis and Arkadia, packing and unpacking, she and her mom would trade places every week so Jake wouldn’t be alone, she would take the train to Arkadia and go back with her grandpa in the truck. Until last week when Clarke’s grandparents went to Polis so Clarke and Abby could finally finish moving to the new house.

Her friends and boyfriend had been busy, going on trips with their families or to summer camp, but they were supposed to come back this Friday, at least Finn was. Clarke and Finn had discussed this basically the whole summer, as soon as she knew she would have to move she told him they should break up, the relationship wasn’t going well and she didn’t believe in long distance, but he asked her to wait until the end of the school year, only then, he asked for a few more weeks.

Clarke talked with her parents about it, Jake said she should be the one deciding, Abby said they could try, Polis wasn’t that far, they could see each other on some weekends, she even promised to drive Clarke when she could until she had her license. So, Clarke thought:” What do I have to lose?”.

Apparently, a lifetime friend.

Clarke took the last box out of the house, Finn's letterman jacket draped over her shoulders; her mom was already waiting by the moving truck.

“Hey mom, this is the last one.” She said while putting the truck, she checked the time in her phone: 12:37.

“Hey sweetie, that is great. Are you ready to go?” Her mom was obviously tired, her hair was a mess, her face was flustered, and she had big dark circles around her eyes. The moving had been pretty hard on her and she was still working her regular hours at the hospital, Clarke hated to make her wait even longer but she needed to talk with Finn.

“Actually, would you mind waiting for a little more? I wanted to talk with Finn, he is probably home already.” She checked her phone for any messages of her boyfriend, there was none, maybe he wasn’t home yet or maybe he was sleeping.

“Sure baby, do you want me to drive you there? I can wait in the truck until you are done.” Abby closed the trunk and walked to the driver side.

“That would be great, thanks, mom. It probably won’t take long; I just want to tell him I am ok with trying the long-distance thing.” Clarke opened the door and climbed in the passenger seat, she texts Finn telling him she was on her way while her mom started the car, she also texted the group chat.

12:39 The delinquents (Princess_peach): Hey guys, me and mom just finished packing and we are going now. I wished you were all here so I could say bye in person, but I promise to come back as soon as I can! I lov u all! 

12:39 The delinquents (Green_bean): Hey Clarke, have a safe trip, lov u 2, hope you enjoy the new school, we will miss you! <3  

12:39 The delinquents (Princess_peach): Thanks, Monty!!!

12:39 The delinquents (Goggles): Love u Clarkey!!!

12: 41 The delinquents (Bad_ass): NOOOOOO!!!! Come back Clarkey, wait for me, I swear I will be home in 3 hours, come on!!! 

12:42 The delinquents (Princess_peach): Sorry can’t do Tav. My mom is pretty tired, and we still have 4 hours on the road… 

12: 43 The delinquents (Bad_ass):  I love YOUUU. Take care and find me a hot academy guy!

12: 44 The delinquents (History_nerd): Have a nice trip Princess, we love u!

12: 44 The delinquents (History_nerd): Octavia shut up, don’t listen to her Clarke!

12: 43 The delinquents (Bad_ass): …

“Clarke”… “Baby”…. “Hey, blondie” Abby was waving her hand in front of her face.

“MOM, you know I hate when people call me that” She was pouting now…

“I tried the nice way and it didn’t work; now can you hurry up, please? I am hungry and we are going to eat on the road.”

She opened the cars doors and walked the stairs to Finn’s house, his mom was on the way out. “Hello, Msr. Collins, is Finn home?”

“Hey Clarke, sorry he isn’t, he went to Raven’s if I am not mistaken”. She said locking the door and going to her car. ”Clarke, before I forget, have a safe trip and come back whenever you want, you are always welcome in my house.”

“Ok, thank you, Msr. Collins.” Clarke was already moving to the next door, the door was unlocked and Clarke let herself in, they were friends for so long that usually they didn’t knock or ring the doorbell.

The living room was empty so she walked the stairs to Raven’s room, the door was slightly open and what she saw inside made her gasp.

Raven was in her bed with Finn lying on top of her, his hands were on her hips and her arms were wrapped around his neck, they were kissing. No! They were fully on making out.

Clarke was livid, how the fuck could he do this to her? After weeks of begging her to not break up, hundreds of messages, tons of phone calls and discussions about how they could do this, that he believed in them. And with her best friend from all people. How could Raven do this to her?

She knocked on the door. “Hey guys, I am sorry to interrupt!”, her voice was so saccharine that it would creep the hell out of anyone. Finn flew across the room, his face so pale he could pass as a ghost, Raven looked shocked to see her and maybe a little guilty but not enough to say: Hey, I was kissing my best friend’s boyfriend. “I just wanted to give this back to you Finn, but maybe I should be giving it to Raven hum?” Finn was gasping like a fish, his mouth was opening but no sound was coming out. “Thank you for the 9 years of friendship, I hope he was worth losing it.” Clarke said while handing Raven the jacket, she turned to leave.

“Wait, Clarke, I know it was soon after your break up but” Raven was out of the bed and in front of Clarke in less than a second.

“After my break up? What break-up Raven? Finn and I are still together… or we were at least until I saw you both…” Tears were welling up in Clarke’s eyes. She didn’t really care about the break-up, it was the betrayal that hurt the most, her best friend’s even more.

“Wait, what?... but… you said…” Raven was looking at Finn now, who seemed to get paler by the second. “Clarke, I didn’t know. Please, I swear, he said…”

“I don’t care Raven! Don’t you think I would have told you if we broke up? And even then, how long was long enough to wait to make out with my ex? You were my best friend…” The tears were threatening to fall now, she needed to get out of there. She started to run down the stairs.

“Were? Clarke, please wait. Please let me explain.” She heard Raven calling behind her. She ran as fast as she could and got in the car startling her mom.

“Clarke? What is going on? Why are you crying?” Abby was worried now, Clarke hardly ever cried, not in front of anyone.

“Mom, can you please drive? Get me out of here, please mom!” She was fully crying now, if her mom didn’t start to drive soon Clarke would get out of the car and run all the way up to Polis.

“Ok, yeah baby, anything you need.” She started the car and took off down the road. In the rearview mirror, she saw Raven trying to run after the car.

Half an hour later, Clarke sobs had toned down. “Baby, do you want to tell me what happened?”

“Raven was… (hiccup) She… (sniff) she was kissing Finn… they were kissing mom! In her bed! He begged me not to break up and cheated on me! Whit one of my best friends! Why mom? Why did they do this?” She was sobbing again while turning her phone off.

“I don’t know baby, I don’t know! But I promised everything will be fine! We have a new house, you are going to a new school, your dad is doing well in the treatment. We are going to get through this sweetie, together, your dad and I will always be here for you!” She knew there wasn’t much she could say to take Clarke’s pain away, but God help her if she wasn’t going to try.

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They stopped to eat and went back to the road as fast as they could, Clarke talked a little but mostly she stood staring out of the window. When they got home, Clarke turned her phone on, she ignored the missing calls and messages from bot Raven and Finn, and opened her facebook page, she updated her relationship status to single and deleted the app from her phone, not even two minutes after the post the group chat started to blow up.

17:13: The delinquents (Bad_ass): Clarke, what is going on? Did you and Finn break up? Why is Raven crying at my door?

17:15 The delinquents (Green_bean): Hey Clarke, are you ok? If you need anything…

17:16 The delinquents (Goggles): Clarkey are you single now???? Do I have a chance?

Her phone started to ring: Incoming call: Octopus, she declined

17:16  The delinquents (Bad_ass): Please answer your phone.

4 missed call: Octopus

17: 20 The delinquents (History_nerd): What is going on?

17: 23 The delinquents (Bad_ass): We don’t know, Clarke updated her relationship status on facebook, Raven showed up crying at our house, but she isn’t making any sense and Clarke is fucking ignoring my calls!  

17:29 The delinquents (Princess_peach): Hey guys. Yes, I broke up with Finn, I don’t want to talk to about it but ask Raven if you really want to know. Thank you, Monty and Octavia, but I really don’t want to talk right now, I need to be alone for a while. Jasper, fuck you!

She turned her phone off again, took off her clothes and went to her bathroom, she really needed a shower. After 30 minutes of hot water, she was feeling a little bit better, she put on clean and comfortable clothes and went to her parent’s bedroom, her mom was ready and waiting for her. In silence, they got in the car and drove to the hospital. There was only one thing that would make Clarke feel better, she just wanted her dad!

Chapter Text

The hospital was only a short drive from the new house, what Clarke thought was great since it didn’t give her mom the chance to ask questions. She left her phone at the house, she didn’t want to talk with her friends from Arkadia and it wasn’t like she knew anyone in Polis that would text or call her, she just stared out of the window.

Even with everything that was going on with Jake illness, Abby knew that Clarke was most likely to talk with him. She worked long hours, it has always been this way, not that she wasn’t present in her daughter’s life. She went to as many dancing and cheerleading competition as she could, but her job demanded a lot from her, and her family understood that.

Jake and Clarke had a special bond, it was like he instinctually knew what she needed even when she was a baby, when Clarke would spend the day crying and fussing, the moment Jake set foot inside the house and she heard his voice it was like everything was ok, she would calm down, smile and laugh at him. He would take her so Abby could rest for a few hours, he was the one to bathe her and feed her, always so calm and gentle, his love for his daughter so clear in his eyes and in the way he would talk and sing to her, sometimes Abby would just lay down in the sofa and watch the two most important humans in her life, most of the time Jake would catch her sleeping with a soft smile on her lips.

He taught Clarke how to play guitar, ride a bike and cook, she would help him with dinner while they waited for Abby to get home, they would eat together, sharing their days, then one of them would help Clarke with her homework while the other cleaned the kitchen, Abby was responsible for the biology and english parts and Jake would help with math. They formed an amazing team!

The weekends when Abby worked, Jake would take the little blonde ball of energy to the park, they would spend the whole day running and playing soccer, a passion he had passed to Clarke. When Jake had a big project on the engineering firm he worked, Clarke and Abby would go to the city library and choose a new book for them to read together, if Abby had to work too Clarke would go with her and be her little assistant, she even had a small white coat with the words Dr. Clarke embroidered in it, she was the cutest thing going around the hospital asking people if they needed help and were feeling well.

Clarke was very thankful for her parents; she knew how lucky she was for having both of then care so much for her. As she grew up, her relationship with her mom became a little harder, Abby always demanding the best grades and best behavior from her, sometimes she just wanted to be a teenager and act like it, which caused some fights but Jake was able to calm things down most of the time, they knew both of them were right so they just needed to find the middle ground, and that was exactly what Jake was.

The car was barely parked when Clarke bolted from it, she walked as fast as she could to her dad’s hospital room, thankfully all the staff knew her already, so they let her in with just a “Hello” here and there. She did her best to answer back, but she wasn’t really paying attention to anyone.

Jake saw that something was wrong the moment Clarke walked through the door, she was staring at the ground, her eyes were a little puffy and her chest was heaving with each breath. “Clarke? What is wrong?”

She brought her eyes up, his blue eyes stared at her with concern written in them. She broke down.

Clarke flew across the room and into her dad’s arms, her fist locked on the sleepy shirt he was using, her head on his chest while she did her best not to fall completely over him, she didn’t want to end up hurting him. He brought his arms around her, holding her as tightly as he could in the debilitated state he was in, he swung them a little trying to calm her down.

That was how Abby found then when she entered the room, Clarke was still sobbing and Jake was looking a little pale but refused to let go of the heartbroken girl, she wished right then that she could take both of their pains away, but she couldn’t so she went and joined the hug.

They stayed like that for a few more minutes until Clarke finally calmed down. She steps away from the bed a little “I am sorry, dad. Your shirt is all wrinkled now.”

“That is ok baby.” He said while using the sleeve of his shirt to dry the few tears that were streaming down her face. “Do you want to tell me what happened? Is the new house that bad? I know you don’t like moving but I swear we are going to hang all your pictures in the new house!”

He was trying to lighten the mood, Clarke knew it, but she couldn’t help but smile a little. “No, the new house is ok. I… um…. I caught Finn cheating on me”. She was staring at the ground again.

“He did WHAT?” Jake was so angry right now, how could that… sorry excuse for a boy dare to do this to his daughter? He was going to kill him. Yeah, that was what he was going to do, he would leave the hospital and painfully kill that boy…

“Jake, please calm down. You are not ok yet.” Abby was trying to push him back against the bed, but he kept trying to get up, his heartbeat had gone up to the roof and he was clearly having trouble breathing.

“DAD! Please” Clarke looked on the verge of tears again, she was so scared, maybe she shouldn’t have said anything.

He finally let Abby push him back, she handed him an oxygen mask that he bashfully accepted. “I am sorry, baby. I am ok. I didn’t mean to scare you”. He said after a few minutes. “Can you finish telling me what happened?” Clarke looked like she wasn’t sure if she should. “Please, I really want to understand. I promise I will do my best to stay calm.”

“Ok” She took a calming breath. She told him about finishing to move the boxes to the truck, her mom taking her to Finn’s house and her meeting with his mom. “… so, I went to Raven’s and the door was unlocked and I let myself in, but the first floor was empty, so I went up to her room, that was when I saw them. They,“ she took a deep breath, ” they were making out in her bed.” She was ashamed to look at her parents, why the hell was she ashamed? She wasn’t the one that betrayed her best friend.

“Oh baby, I am so sorry! Can you look at me? Clarke? Please!” Her dad’s voice was so soft, she started to cry again and hugged him.

“I am ashamed.” She didn’t really understand why, she just felt so used, stupid and dumb for believing in him. She should have seen it coming.

Abby had been quiet for most of the exchange but hearing her daughter so brokenly saying that she was ashamed was enough for her. “Why? You have done nothing wrong; they were the ones that betrayed your trust. You are such an amazing person baby.” She pulled Clarke into her arms.

“Then why wasn’t I enough mom? Why couldn’t they be honest with me? Why go behind my back?” She hugged her mom back, pushing her head into the crook of her neck. She inhaled the perfume she had always associated with her mom, she felt so safe here, with both of them.

Jake was the one to answer, “We don’t know baby, people sometimes do crappy things… but it is not your fault. You are an amazing, compassionate, caring and beautiful person. It was their loss, you deserve so much better Clarke. We love you so, so much!”

“Thank you, I love you both. I don’t know what I would do without you!” They shared another hug. Jake scooted over on the bed and Clarke climbed with him, they talked about the start of the school year, what were Clarke’s expectation for the new school, watched a soccer game on the TV and Clarke and Abby made plans to go out the next morning to buy new school supplies.

When the visiting hours were over, they hugged goodbye, Clarke kissed Jake’s cheek and waited outside the room for her mom so her parents could say goodbye properly.

“You see, that is how much she needs you. I need you! Please don’t give up.” She kissed his lips softly.

“I won't, my love. Who would kill that boy if I wasn’t here?” He said only half joking, receiving a glare from his wife. “I am kidding love… kind off. But I promise you, if it depends on me, I won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. Maybe home. I love you.”

“Love you too darling, see you tomorrow!” She kissed him again and walked out of the door.

“Please let me stay here.” He whispered for whoever was listening.

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The weekend went by faster than Clarke expected, she went out shopping with her mom and occupied most of her time playing chess with her dad. She had turned her phone on again and apart from the messages and missed calls from Raven, Finn, and Octavia, most of her friends had respected her wishes to be left alone. She messaged Finn and Raven back, saying she didn’t want to hear from them and proceeded to block their numbers, she called Octavia back, but that ended being a mistake. Octavia had actually defended Raven and told Clarke she was being unreasonable, she hung up the phone then and ignored the calls for the rest of the weekend.

On Monday morning Clarke stood astonished in front of her new school. She couldn’t believe her eyes; Polis Academy was definitely not what Clarke was expecting.

It didn’t even look like a school, the building seemed more fitted for an Art Gallery, maybe a Museum or one of those start-ups that had crazy offices. If it wasn’t for the clear view of the cafeteria from the gigantic glass wall that covered most of the entrance and the side of the school, she would have thought she was at the wrong address. Well, that and the small crowd of student surrounding her.

It wasn’t as big as Arkadia, accordingly to her mom the school had about 200 students, but it still made her feel a little anxious. Maybe she should have looked at least the school website, but in her defense with everything that happened in the last few months her parents had only formalized her registration in the week before.

She parked her bike and locked it, grabbing her bag from her bike basket she made her way to the entrance following the other students. Right beside the doors, she could see what seems to be the library and a few study rooms on the second and third floor, that was a lot of glass. She loved it.

“Clarke Griffin?” Someone said from her left.

“Yeah, that’s me!” She turned facing a beautiful blonde tall girl, probably around her own age.

“Hi, I am Niylah, I am part of the welcoming committee and a fellow junior.” She said holding out some papers, which Clarke promptly took. “This is the timetable for this semester, the principal told me about your special circumstances, so you have until the end of this week to choose your classes. If you could follow me, I will give a tour of the building.” She said turning and walking down a hall Clarke hadn’t notice before.

“I am sorry, but shouldn’t we be heading to class?” Clarke was checking her watch for the time, could she be early? Only, if all the other students were early too.

“Oh no, 1) You haven’t chosen your classes yet, 2) here at Polis the first period is dedicated to club’s meetings, and as you are not part of any club yet, you don’t have to be anywhere and 3) this is the welcoming week, classes only really start next week.”

“Well, what about the students that aren’t in any club?” She was a little confused, could she come latter to school? She would definitely love the extra sleep.

“Everyone is part of a club here if you don’t find anything you like you can start your own, but you will find out we have a great variety of choices.” They continued their tour around the school, some of the classrooms, the cafeteria and the library were in the main building, the school office was in a smaller one with the teacher’s lounge and the student body council. The rest of the classrooms were in the third one, in there Clarke could see the musical and art studios, dark rooms, the theater, and even a sewing room, this clearly wasn’t anything like Arkadia High.

Niylah was really nice, as they walked, they talked about their favorite classes, the sports they practice and other school things. Last, she took her to the sports complex. Clarke had no words. There were 1 football and 2 soccer fields, a field track and a space dedicated only to athletics, each with their own set of bleachers.

“The building to your left is the fitness center, any student can use it but the teams generally have a specific time slot reserved, and the other one is the gymnasium, it has the indoor courts, the pool, the dance studios, and the lockers rooms. Since you are in the cheer squad, you are probably going to spend a lot of time around here…” Niylah turned to the smaller blonde who was looking a little lost. “Hey Clarke, are you ok?” she waved her hand in front of her face.

Shaking her head out of the stupor Clarke answered. “Ummm... Yeah, I am fine, sorry. It is just really different from my old school; it may take a while for me to get used to it.”

“Arkadia High right?” Clarke nodded. “We heard of their girls’ soccer team, but haven’t played with them yet, is it true that the coach is really hard on the players?”

“Yeah, they train 6 days a week, they have to follow a strict meal plan and exercise regime, is really intense, but I guess it works.” She said with pride in her voice. That is not your school anymore Clarke, get it together. Niylah arched her eyebrows but didn’t comment on it.

“Guess they really should work that hard if they intend on keeping their title.” She said with a cocky smile.

“Why?” Clarke knew she shouldn’t care that much, but she still had friends in Arkadia, and it was hard letting go of a place she been almost all her life.

“Because we are coming for it”.

“They have two of the best midfielders in the league and their goalie is pretty good too, not to mention that last year they won it, so...” Really Clarke, stop defending them.

“But they don’t have what we have.”

“And what would that be?”

“Heda.”

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The tour had ended shortly after that, Niylah guided her to the school office and handed her a folder with a campus map, a schedule for the rest of her day, a student handbook with the school rules, details about electives and a list of the sports and clubs she could join and another with the events that would happen around the school during the welcoming week. She also gave Clarke her number and asked if she wanted to join her for lunch, Clarke agreed, so Niylah went to find the next student she had to show around.

Clarke approached the reception, they asked her for some documents, took her picture and handled her the forms she needs to fill for cheerleading and her classes choices, she also would need her parents signature, so they asked her to bring back until the end of the week.

Next, she had a meeting with her academic advisor, apparently, every student had a teacher assigned to them as some kind of counselor. Ms. Taylor was a middle age woman, responsible for the arts programs at Polis Academy, they talked about the cheer squad, what was Clarke first impression of the school, her plans for the future and college, she made a few suggestions about what classes were better suited for her and worked in Clarke’s schedule, they made an appointment to meet at the end of the week to finalize it.

Once they finally finish, Clarke was 10 minutes late for lunch. She texted Niylah about where they should meet; the answer came not long after.

13:12 Niylah: Hey Clarke, just come to the cafeteria, I will wait for you at the end of the hallway.

13:12 Clarke: On my way.

Clarke met Niylah and followed her to a table at the back of the cafeteria where a brunette with curly hair was waiting for them.

“Clarke, this is Luna, Luna this is Clarke.” Niylah introduced them while gesturing with her hands.

She greeted Clarke and pulled a chair for her to sit in. “Hello Clarke, how are you liking our little school?” She was really beautiful, her warm brown eyes were so gentle and her smile sincere, Clarke immediately liked her.

“Hi, I think is amazing! The campus is gorgeous.  Are you a junior too?” She asked trying not to show how nervous she was.

Luna had a kind of calm energy, and this helped to ease Clarke’s nerves. “No, I am a senior. Niylah here tells me you are the new cheerleader people been talking about…”

“I don’t know about the talking part, but I am a cheerleader and I am new so…” She said while opening her lunch.

“I can guarantee people been talking about you, the girl from Arkadia who changed sides.”

Luna was staring at her like she was trying to figure her out.

“Wow, I didn’t know you had this competition going with Arkadia…” She stared back. 

“We don’t, I don’t think we have ever faced then on the filed but Niylah commented about your… opinions on the soccer team and let me tell you, school spirit is a big deal around here, the girls’ soccer team is even a bigger deal and I understand you just got to this school, but if the wrong person heard you talking like that you may find a little difficult to fit in.” She didn’t looked angry, she was still as calm as the beginning of the conversation.

That was when Clarke noticed the letterman jacket in the back of Luna’s chair. Dammit, of course, you had to offend someone on the soccer team on your very first day.

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean to offend anyone, it is just really hard to remember I am not with them anymore, it won’t happen again I promise.” She was so ashamed, she didn’t know why she felt the need to defend Arkadia, she wasn’t even on the soccer team.

“It is ok, I just thought you should know.” she touched Clarke’s shoulders gently. “You will have to cheer for us anyway, but I bet you will change your side when you see us playing, no one is better than the Grounders.” she high fived Niylah.

“Wait,” she turned to the other blonde, “you are in the soccer team too?” Two people in one day.

“Yeah, I am their goalie, and Luna is a defender. You will probably meet the rest of the team later this week, we have kind of a tasting event on soccer in one of the PE lessons of the week, and if you keep hanging out with us, which I hope you do, we tend to stay together, you know? Like a family” 

Luna was nodding her head the entire time. “Like a small, dysfunctional, most of the time crazy family.”

Clarke knew. She used to have one. God, she missed her friends.

Lunch was ok, they kept talking about school and sharing some personal information, overall, she had a good time. They were leaving the cafeteria when a group of girls entered through a different door and suddenly cheers could be listening all around.

Clarke knew they were in a team, the jackets told her that, but what caught her attention was one of the girls, she wasn’t smiling like most of them, her brunette hair was done is a complicated looking braid, she was wearing a black tank top and a dark skinny jeans that seemed to be painted on her long legs. She was staring, she knew she was staring but God, she had never seen someone as beautiful at that girl. “Who… Who are they?” she tried to sound nonchalant.

 “The girls' soccer team, but I guess you are more interested in the stoic brunette?” Luna answered trying not to laugh at her new friend but, let’s just say she wasn’t very successful.

Clarke's face went red and she tried to deny but words were failing her. “What?... No… I… I wasn’t…” Luna and Niylah were fully laughing now.

“Guess you won’t need to see us playing after all. I should have known Heda would change your mind.” Luna was composing herself while the other girl continued to laugh.

“Umm… I… I have to meet my coach now, so I will be going.” She knew her cheeks were getting red, she just hoped she could escape this situation before the other girls would note. “Thanks for the company. See you guys around?” she started to walkway facing the other girls.

“Sure, bye Clarke.” Niylah waved.

Clarke had barely taken a few steps when Luna called her. “Hey, Clarke!” She turned to face the girls.

“Yeah?”

“Her name is Lexa Woods.” Luna had this smug smile on her face.

“Oh… I… ok, thanks, bye.” Clarke walked way so fast Luna and Niylah could only laugh at the flustered girl.

-------------------------------------------/////-------------------------------------------

Jake was watching a sports program when Clarke walked inside his room. “Hey baby girl, how was your first day?”

“Hey dad,” she kissed his cheek, “it was good, the school is great. People were really nice. You are going to love the sports complex, it's amazing.” She said taking a seat beside his bed.

Clarke proceeded to tell him everything about the school building, she showed him the class schedule her advisor had help her assemble and asked his opinions on it, he also looked at the list of sports and clubs the school offered the students.

“Is it bad I feel like we should have brought you to Polis way earlier? This school seems amazing.” He was looking at the pictures on the school website. “Maybe you would be playing soccer instead of cheerleading.”

“Maybe. But you know mom would still have insisted I joined the cheer squad.” She could hear her mom’s voice in her head.

 “Clarke, you are so good at dancing and you loved gymnastics, this could really help in your college applications, later on, you could even get a scholarship. I know you love soccer, but those girls have been playing since they were really young, are you sure you could keep up with them?”

Abby words had hit Clarke’s insecurities so hard that her name was written in the cheer’s tryout sheet by the end of the week. There was a time when she enjoyed dancing and performing, but soccer had been her first love, she played with her dad every weekend at the park until he got sick. She also hated the way cheerleaders were perceived at her old school. Sit still, Look Pretty were their motto.

“Well, you are an amazing cheerleader baby, you even got a scholarship for this fancy school, but you could be amazing at anything you tried. You are so strong, Clarke.” He always talked about her with such pride, he made her feel like she could do no wrong.

“Thanks, dad.” She smiled at him.

“Talking about being strong, have you talked with your friends yet?” He knows how much her friends mean to her, he also knew how stubborn she could be, especially when she was hurt.

“I talked to Octavia last night, she told me I should at least let Raven explain herself, can you believe that? She actually took her side…” She was getting riled up. “How could she? I was the one that was cheated on.”

“Well, she and Raven had been friends for a long time, but she was also one of your best friends, so maybe she knows something you don’t.” He tried to reason with her, Octavia was generally a fair person, but she was also very loyal.

“I don’t want to talk about his anymore.” She turned away from him.

“Sure baby, are you up for a game?” That was what Clarke loved more about her dad, he never pushed her, even when he voiced his opinions, he would take care to not cross her limits.

“Yeah, I would love that.” She got up to get the chess board, and for a few hours Clarke didn’t worry about her old friends or her new school, she just enjoyed her time with her dad.

Chapter Text

Tuesday and Wednesday had gone almost the same. Clarke rode her bike to school, she participated in some of the events for new students around the school, that mostly consisted in getting to know the clubs and electives classes, then she went to the hospital and kept her father company.

On Tuesday, the baking club had a baking competition that resulted in 500 cupcakes been distributed between students, and the next day the school held a big barbeque on the football field that started at 11 am and went until the last period, so the students ate whenever they wanted. Clarke had taken a burger and wandered to the bleachers around one of the soccer fields, she took her sketchbook from her bag, sated an alarm on her phone so she wouldn’t miss the next event and started drawing the scene in front of her.

She lost herself in her art and by the time her alarm started to play she had almost finished; she unlocked her phone and saw she had a new message.

12:45 Niylah: Hey Clarke, are you coming to the barbeque? Luna and I are at bleachers around the field track with some friends, maybe you could join us.

She checked her watch, 13:30, they probably weren’t there anymore. She hadn’t talked to Niylah since Monday, they saw each other around the school but they were both busy with different events.

13:31 Clarke: Hey Niylah, I am sorry, I just saw your message. I was at the barbecue but choose to sit at the bleachers around one of the soccer fields. Sorry.

13:32 Niylah: That’s ok, I have a meeting now, but maybe you could sit with us during lunch tomorrow?

13:32 Clarke: I don’t know, I haven’t decided what events I want to go tomorrow. But I will think about it, thanks.

13:33 Niylah: That’s fine. See you around.

13:33 Clarke: See you.

She pocketed her phone and hurried back inside the school.

Thursday was a sports day, all the students were advised to wear proper clothes and shoes, everyone was required to participate in at least two different sport’s tasting, as they were calling.

Her coach had asked her to help with cheer tasting, which was a little after lunch, so that left her with the morning events. After carefully considering her options she chooses the girls soccer and basketball, it would be fun right?

Basketball was not fun. All the girls were so tall, she barely touched the ball. She made her way outside the gym with her ego a little hurt, she still had 15 minutes until soccer started so she went up to the bleachers.

“HEY CLARKE!” She heard someone call. Looking around she saw Luna standing at the bottom of the bleachers, she was wearing the Grounder’s game jersey and soccer shorts.

“Hey Luna, how are you?”, she said walking down to meet the other girl.

Luna adjusted the duffel bag she was holding in one shoulder. “I am fine, and you?”

“Fine, are you going to help in the soccer’s tasting?” It would be nice to know someone there, she loved to play but she was also a little nervous about how this would go.

“Yeah, are you participating?” Clarke nodded her head yes, “would you mind helping me set the workout stations? Nia, Ontari, and Costia were supposed to help me, but Nia balled, and Costia and Ontari are probably making out somewhere.” She motioned to the field.

“Yeah, sure. Just tell me where you want things to go.”

And that was how she spent the next 10 minutes; they were almost finished when a teacher called Luna. She looked to be around 50 years old, her dark skin was glowing in the middle morning sunlight, her features seemed hard.

“Good morning Luna.” She said looking around the field, “where is the rest of the team?”

“Morning coach. I don’t know.” She answered while fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

“I was told you, Nia, Ontari and Costia would be the ones helping me with this event. Didn’t Lexa give you your timetables for today?” Clarke could see the older woman was annoyed but her voice was still kind of calm, it creeped her out.

“Yeah, she emailed it last week.”

Indra turned to Clarke, clearly analyzing her. “And who would you be?”

“This is Clarke, she is new. She is participating in the tasting, so I asked her to help me set up.”

Before Indra could say anything, a big group of girls arrived at the field.

“Hey coach.” three of them said at the same time.

“Would you ladies care to explain why Luna had to ask a student who isn’t on the team to help?” She was staring so hard at the girls; Clarke swears they were shaking. The coach was really scary. When none of them answered Indra kept talking, “We will talk about responsibility and the importance of teamwork and trust in the next practice, perhaps while the three of you run suicides for half an hour?” Her tone made pretty clear it wasn’t a suggestion. Turning to the group she started the practice.

They were divided into groups of 4, each group was addressed to one station and they would switch after 5 minutes. That went for 45 minutes, Clarke was so tired, she was sure she would have collapsed if it wasn’t for her years of training.

“Very good ladies! I know this was hard, but that is only a regular practice for us. We have 4 places to fill in our team this year, if you are thinking about trying for the team, I suggest you take this very seriously and really consider your options.” She looked every girl in the eye. “if any of you feel like you can continue, please take a sit.” Some of the girls went to the bleachers, around 20 stood on the field. “Now, for the rest of you who still have a little energy on you, we will divide you into two teams, each one will have two girls from the soccer team and the game will go for 15 minutes, impress me, ladies.” She walked to the center of the field, while the girls from the team handed red and black vests. Clarke got a red one.

Luna and Nia threw a coin to decide which of the teams would start with the ball.

“Alright, reds you are with Luna and Costia, blacks with Nia and Ontari.” The girls made their way to their respective teams, “These are the rules: No goalkeepers and goals will only be valid from the inside of the penalty area. Ok?”

They spread themselves through the field, Clarke positioned herself as a right midfielder and Luna in front of her as a wing.

 And just like that, the whistle was blown and the game started. It took a few minutes for the girls to adjust and after some time both teams were able to create some plays, but none had a good chance to score.

At the 7 minute’s mark, Luna received the ball and passed it to Clarke, she took off running to the corner line. Nia was acting as a center back, she slides tackled and sent the ball off the field, hitting Clarke in the process.

“Maybe you should stay with the easy sport, darling. We wouldn’t want to bruise our new cheerleader, would we?” She mocked Clarke.

Luna helped her get up, “Are you ok?” she nodded her head yes and kept playing. But Nia kept chasing her, every time Clarke touched the ball Nia was right in front of her, and every time she was able to take the ball from Clarke, she would make another mocking comment.

Clarke was fed up with that. So, the next time Nia tried to take the ball, Clarke was faster and passed the ball between her legs, she took off running again leaving a fuming Nia behind. She kicked the ball to Luna who was already inside the penalty area, she watched as Luna hit the ball and scored for her team.

Shortly after, Indra ended the game.

“Wow Clarke, I didn’t know you played. That was an amazing move.” Luna was beaming at her.

“She got lucky.” Nia said with Ontari and Costia by her side. “She is just a cheerleader…”

Before she could say anything more, Indra approached the group.

“I sure hope not, because if just a cheerleader can do that with one of my starting defenders, I might have to look for someone to fill your position, Miss Queen.” She turned to Clarke without giving Nia a chance to respond. “You did well Miss Griffin, are you thinking about trying for the team?”

Clarke was stunned, “Umm… I am on the cheer squad.”

“So?” Indra asked.

Clarke was confused. “I can’t be in two sports teams?”

“Who told you that? I am sure if you were to try and join the team, your coach and I could come to an agreement about practice time and games days. I have a midfielder position open.” Turning she started to talk with all the girls, “Thank you all for coming, I will see some of you at PE next week. Keep practicing and working hard, tryouts are in three weeks from today, be ready ladies.” With that, she walked away leaving the girls to gather the training equipment.

“Hey Clarke,” Luna called, “come to lunch with me? Niylah is waiting and I am sure the rest of the soccer team would like to meet you.”

“Yeah sure, do you want some help? It seems that your friends balled again.” She realized the other girls had disappeared from the field.

“Shit! Yeah, thanks!”

“No problem.” They hurried through the field gathering everything.

-------------------------------------------/////-------------------------------------------

The cafeteria was almost full when they arrived, apart from two tables on the back, so they had to wait in line for a little bit. Once both of them had their food, Clarke followed Luna to the same table they had eaten on Monday, but this time it had another table attached to it.

Both tables together could easily fit 20 people, but only five girls were occupying it, Clarke recognized Niylah and Ontari, the former waved at her and motioned for them to take the seats beside her, while Luna introduced her to the other three, Anya and Echo were both seniors and Emori was a sophomore. They were all part of the soccer team, apparently, those were their tables.

“What took you so long?” Niylah asked as soon as they sat down.

Luna shot an annoyed look at Ontari, “I don’t know, maybe because our ‘amazing’ teammates didn’t bother to help me before or after the tasting.”

“What?” the group asked.

“They only showed up at the start of the practice and were gone before I could say ‘bitch’.”

“Hey, don’t need to be rude. I am sorry, ok?” Ontari really seemed a little sorry, Clarke thought, “I was waiting for Costia and we… got kind of distracted. I thought Nia would be there to help.”

“Yeah, we all know how distracted you guys can get.” The group laughed. “And Nia wasn’t, guess she is still mad with Indra. At least I will be able to enjoy seeing you run suicides for half an hour, hopefully, it rains next week.” She smiled wickedly.

 Anya snickered, “Damn, you guys really pissed Indra off… anyway, how was the tasting? Did you find any new talent for the team?”

“Yeah, actually…” she turned to Clarke, “Clarke here did really well. She even pulled off a nutmeg on Nia.”

The whole table was looking at Clarke now, most of them were shocked, only Ontari kept eating her food.

Emori’s fork stopped halfway through her mouth.  “Nooo…. For real?”

“She must be boiling.” Echo said.

Ontari, who was sitting on the other side of the table, muttered: “She really is.”

Clarke dismissed blushing a little, “It was nothing, just a lucky shot I guess.” she didn’t want people expecting her to go to the tryouts.

Luna was fast to disagree. “No, it wasn’t, and the pass after that… damn this cheerleader legs of yours.”

The girls laughed at Luna, and some even strained their necks as if checking Clarke out.

“It was lucky. You are just a dancer.” Nia spat at Clarke, having listened to the end of the conversation. “What is she doing here? She isn’t on the team. The cheerleader’s table is up front.” Grabbing Clarke’s arm, she pulled her off the chair.

“She can sit wherever she wants Nia; do I need to remind you of the school’s politics on bullying?” Niylah and Luna were up and in front of Clarke before the rest of the table could blink.

The three of them were stuck in a staring contest. Clarke tried to free her arm, but Nia just tightened her hold.

“Let her go.” Luna reached for Nia’s hand that was still holding Clarke.

She released Clarke’s arm and leaning in she faked whispered in Luna’s ear. “You should choose better your alliances, remember who is actually in this team with you.” The straightening her back she walked away.

“I am sorry for her Clarke. Are you ok?” Niylah immediately took hold of her arm to check the slight bruised that was starting to form.

“Yeah, I am fine…”

Clarke felt like everyone in the cafeteria was looking at them, what a great way to start in the new school…

“I have to go.”

“What? No Clarke, stay. We will-”

“It’s ok Luna, the cheer tasting will start soon, and I need to help set up.” She grabbed her bag and started walking away. “Nice to meet you guys, I will see you around.”

“She didn’t even finish her lunch.” Emori said looking at Clarke’s half-eaten sandwich.

-------------------------------------------/////-------------------------------------------

The summer before Junior year was supposed to be a good one. After what happened at the quarterfinals and all the drama that came after, Lexa was finally starting to feel like herself again. She just wanted to have a nice and calm summer with her family and Costia, they had planned a trip for the lake house, two months of peace and nature.

And it went almost like that, except for one thing.

Lexa was almost done packing her clothes, they would leave in an hour and she was pretty sure Aden would need help to finish on time. She still had a place for a hoodie but couldn’t decide between one of her own or the one Costia had given her, it had her name on the back and Costia used every time she came to Lexa’s house, so it would always smell like her.

A knock on her door made her turn. “Hey, Aden I will be there in…” but it wasn’t her little brother, “Oh hey babe!” she went for a kiss but Costia turned her head a little and she ended up kissing her cheek, “You are early, did something happened?”

“Actually, yeah. I won’t go to the lake house with your family.” Lexa couldn’t figure out Costia expression, she knew the last few months had been hard, but she was doing better now, this trip was supposed to bring them closer again.

“What? Why?”

“I can’t do this anymore Lexa. I am sorry, I know is a bad time with everything but…” She was staring at the ground.

Lexa was so confused, they had gone on a date yesterday, the first one in a long time, it had gone really well or at least Lexa thought so. “What do you mean?”

“I want to break up. This is not the kind of relationship I want.” Lexa could feel tears forming in her eyes, she didn’t want to believe Costia would do that, not when she needed her the most. “It just doesn’t work anymore; we are too different Lexa.”

“Are you for real? Is this serious? You can’t even look me in the eye while you say that.” Costia just stood there, in the exact same position. “Did you cheat on me? Is there someone else?” with every second Lexa’s anger grew bigger. “ANSWER ME!”

“NO, there is no one else. It is you, Lexa.” She was looking at her, but Lexa wished she didn’t, because what she could, or better, couldn’t see hurt more than the words she was saying. Costia’s eyes were empty of the warmth and softness they usually had when directed at her. “And me, WE don’t work anymore, I think I need to be alone for a while. I am sorry Lexa, I really am, but it wouldn’t be right to go with you just to break up once we got back.”

Lexa took a deep breath; her heart was breaking and there was nothing she could do. “Nothing I say will change your mind, will it?”

“No. I really am sorry… but I guess it is better to do it now, we all know high school relationships don’t last.”

“Yeah… Guess I should give this back to you…” She handed Costia the hoodie. “Anya will be here until later this week, I will gather your things and you can come and get it then… But I think you should go now.”

“Sure, thanks, Lexa. I… I will see you around.”

‘I need to be alone’… ‘high school relationship doesn’t last’… those phrases had stayed engraved in Lexa’s mind, so imagine her surprise when she came back from the lake house and found out Costia was dating Ontari, their teammate.

She hadn’t talked to them since they bumped into each other in her favorite ice-cream shop. Awkward doesn’t even begin to describe the moment they saw Lexa there. She wasn’t heartbroken anymore, she knew Costia was right, their relationship really wasn’t the way she hoped it would be. Still, it hurt to see her ex move on so fast.

She started focusing all her energy into soccer and getting ready for the new season, Indra had told at the end of the last semester that she would be captain this year, as long as she did everything her doctors told her. Lexa wanted the championship, and nothing would get in her way of getting it, not even her ex cuddling with her new girlfriend in every practice and party they had during the last week of summer.

It wasn’t that Lexa was lonely, she had a lot of girls and even some guys throwing themselves at her, she just didn’t see the point in starting something that would end anyway. That summer Lexa had sworn out of dating.

Her focus would be only on soccer and school, no ex, no new girls, no distractions. That went really well, until the first day of school.

Lexa was waiting near the entrance for the freshman’s group she would guide in the campus tour. She just finished checking all the welcoming folders she had to hand when the sea of students started to walk in.

But something caught her attention. In the middle of the crowd, a girl was standing looking around in awe, she was too old to be a freshman, maybe a junior or a senior Lexa had never seen her before, she absolutely would remember her. Long blonde hair, a body that was fit but still had curves, maybe one or two inches shorter than her and a dazzling smile. The girl was simply stunning.

Before she could offer her help and ask the girl’s name, another wave of students came in and she lost the blonde. Lexa had spent the rest of her week trying not to look for the blonde everywhere she went in the school. That were so many events that the chances she would see her again before classes really started next week were almost nonexisting.

So, when Luna texted her on Thursday saying they found someone to complete their group for the school scavenger’s hunt, she would have never guessed who that someone was.

Chapter Text

After the scene with Nia on Thursday, Clarke had done the cheer tasting on auto mode and went straight to the hospital after it. She told her dad what happened and how she had no idea why the other girl was so nasty with her, they both agree it was an exaggerated reaction to a play during a game and he told her that they would go to the principal if the girl kept bothering her, the rest of the afternoon was spent talking and watching a match on tv.

On Friday morning, she stood outside the school waiting. Niylah had called her last night apologizing for Nia’s behavior, Clarke told her it wasn’t her fault but the girl insisted on doing something to make up for it, so she informed Clarke that they needed a fourth person for her group in the scavenger hunt the next day and Clarke would be the person to complete it.

15 minutes later Niylah finally showed up running to the entrance.

“I am so sorry Clarke, I slept past my alarm… Come on we need to hurry” grabbing Clarke’s right arm she almost ran to the indoor court was people were gathering for the hunt.

“Finally, where were you two?” Luna was pacing in the entrance to the court.

Niylah answered, “Sorry, my fault.”

“Okay, let’s get inside, the presentation will start soon and then we only have 5 minutes to fill the entry forms.” They started making their way inside the court and found a place at bleachers near some of the girls on the soccer team.

They greeted each other and sat down before the principal started to talk.

“Good morning students. I would like to start this last day of the welcoming week by greeting or new students. Welcome to our school, I hope you all have an amazing year here at Polis Academy, most of you probably know where my office is, fell free to come to me or any of our staff if you need some guidance, we are here to help. Next, I would like to thank our welcoming committee for the amazing job with the events.” She paused and everybody clapped. “Now, our student body president has a few things she would like to say.”

That was when Clarke noticed the girl waiting on the sidelines. Long brown hair and those legs. Shit. Lexa Woods. She couldn’t forget that face even if she really wanted. What obviously she didn’t.

“Hey guys,” she said when the principal handed her the microphone.

“Hello HEDA!” Clarke was part of the few students who didn’t answer.

“Can I get a round of applause for our amazing welcoming committee?”

Cheers could be heard all around the court.

“Now, before we start our hunt, let me remind you that the tryouts for the school’s teams are in three weeks, you can find the exact date on the board outside the Student Council or the school website, also our clubs are always looking for new faces so try whatever you would like. Okay?” She waited for some people to nod in agreement. “Alright, so the hunt. First, this year will be a little different, we will have 3 events and the group that makes the most points on the sum of all three wins the hunt. The first event is…”

Clarke couldn’t focus on what the girl was saying, she was so pretty, and her voice so commanding but kind at the same time, her hair looked so soft Clarke wanted to run her fingers through it…

“Hey Clarke, do you prefer the first or second event?”

“Sorry, what?” Luna was looking at her with raised eyebrows.

“I asked you what event you preferred?”

“I…. what was the first event?” Clarke knew she had been caught then.

Luna started laughing. “You know, from the way you were staring people would think you were really paying attention… Guess, not.” Clarke had to fight down the blush creeping up her neck. “Tell me, what was the last thing you heard?”

“Ummm…. Three events…” Luna was laughing so hard she was having trouble answering Clarke.

Niylah took pity on her and explained, trying to remember everything. “The first event is Pictionary and the second one is an egg hunt around the school, we have to split the team because both events happen at the same time, then we meet for the student hunt.”

“Yeah, I can do Pictionary. Wait, didn’t you say I was the fourth person? Who else is in this group?”

“Well, Luna, you, me and…”

“Hey guys, I am sorry it took me so long...” That voice, Clarke froze completely. “I have the forms almost ready just need to know who is completing our team?”

“Lexa meet Clarke, Clarke this is Lexa!” Luna said with a smirk on her face.

Clarke turned to look at the taller girl. That was a mistake, because the second she did, green eyes were staring right back at her and she was a goner.

Blue and gold. It was all Lexa could see. So much blue and gold. It was her; it was really her. As much as she had tried not to search for her when she saw a flash of blonde hair around the school, Lexa couldn’t help but to feel relieved that the girl was finally in front of her, she was starting to think it had all been a hallucination. But that brought a new problem.

How the hell was she supposed to look at anything else? This girl was perfect, her golden hair, the blue eyes, the beauty mark above her lips. When her gaze was starting to wander down the girl’s body, she heard someone clear their throat. Shit.

By the look Luna and Nylah were shooting her she had definitely been caught. The only good thing was that the shorter girl didn’t seem to notice it. Actually, she was kind of staring at her too.

“Umm… Hi, I am Lexa!” She said with a small smile.

“Clarke.” The blonde pointed to herself.

“Nice to meet you, Clarke.”

The way Lexa said her name sent a shiver down her spine. If Clarke wasn’t completely gone before, she clearly was now, but before she could say anything, Luna started talking.

“Okay, so now that introductions were made. Twice, but who is counting?” Clarke felt her cheeks starting to warm up. “Clarke you are with Lexa, and Niylah you are with me.”

Her head turned so fast her hair almost hit her face. “What? Why can I be with you our Niylah?” She realized how she sounded like a second later. “Not that I wouldn’t want to be with you… be in a pair with you, I just… I…” She was really blushing now, thankfully the other girl didn’t appear offended, she looked almost amused.

“It is okay, Clarke.” She turned to Luna “Can you explain why?”

“Well, Clarke chose Pictionary and we know the physiotherapist hasn’t released you to do anything heavy yet, so you can’t run around the school and we need to do that if we are going to win.” That smug smile in her face was starting to piss Clarke off.

“That makes sense. Are you okay with this?” Clarke thought Lexa really did look concern about how comfortable she was, she nodded her head yes.

“Great, so let me finish this.” Niylah took the forms from Lexa and finished filling it, the group then went to the delivery station and collected their number just in time for the principal to start talking.

“Okay guys, we are going to start now, please stick your team’s number somewhere visible so the teacher can identify you easily and make your way to the event you will be in. Meet back here in 45 minutes. Good luck.”

Clarke took a look at the number 207 in the left side of her chest. “Is this visible?”

If it was any other girl Lexa would be sure the question was only used as a way to draw attention, but Clarke’s tone had so much innocence that she couldn’t think like that. Even so, her gaze immediately went to the other girls’ boobs.

And what a pair of boobs it was. Shit. Fuck, you should not have done that. She rapidly averted her gaze. The thing is that Clarke was really hot and Lexa really, really gay.

“It is fine” was the only answer she got; it was so quiet that she didn’t know who said it. When Clarke looked up, the three girls were blushing slightly and looking anywhere but her.

Lexa swallowed trying to get rid of some of the dryness on her throat. “We should go.”

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When they arrived at the art studio where the first event would take place there was a small line of students waiting to get inside. While they were waiting, the silence between the two girls could only be described as awkward. Luna and Niylah had left them in the building entrance and not a word had been by both of them.

Lexa had no idea what to say to the blonde, she was the student body president for god’s sake, she had to talk with people from basically any group in school and she was good at it, she could make conversation easily. So why every thought she had seemed so stupid?

“Can I ask you a question?” Clarke was looking at her.

She nodded her head; afraid her voice wouldn’t work properly.

“Why did everyone call you Heda during the presentation earlier?”

“It is tradition. Since the school was founded the captain in the girls’ soccer team is called Heda.” It was a little more complicated than that, but she tried to explain in the easiest way, Clarke didn’t need to know everything about it.

“Okay, so besides being the student president, you are also the captain in the soccer team?” She smiled at the taller girl. “That is really impressive.”

“Umm… thanks!” She was thankful for the years of practice in keeping her feelings from her face. People called her stoic, cold and heartless sometimes but she would choose that instead of blushing in front of the blonde anytime.

“Bet you are the first in your year too.” Her smile had turned into a smirk and Lexa was lost. Was this girl flirting with her?

The teacher called their name and directed them to their places. They sat beside each other in a small table on the back, that had all the material they would need.

“Good morning guys! Does everyone have an envelope with the cards, white paper and pencils on their table?” When all the responses were positive, she continued. “Great, you will work with another pair, and they will keep your scores. Can you find a pair, or do I need to choose for you?”

Looking around Lexa saw her cousin in the other end of the room. “Hey, Lincoln!” The boy turned in the direction of her voice, she motioned for him to join them.

“Hey, Lex! Want to pair up?”

“Yeah.” After Lexa introduced Lincoln, her cousin, and his best friend Nyko, they decided who would go first. “I just want to apologize in advance because I suck at this.” She really wished she could have been in the egg hunt; she didn’t have one artistic bone in her whole body.

Clarke laughed at that, and Lexa could barely contain the smile in her lips.

When the first round was over Clarke and Lexa were 3 points ahead of Lincoln and his friend Nyko, who’s drawing abilities were worse than Lexa’s.

“Common Clarke, let’s crush them.” It was like Lexa was another person, as soon as the competition started, she just took charge, she was really competitive. Clarke would be lying if she said it wasn’t attractive as fuck.

“I wouldn’t be so sure little cousin, remember who won the art showcase the last three years?” Clarke could tell Lexa didn’t like the comment, she didn’t either, but Lincoln had a playful smile in his face.

“I wasn’t here before Lincoln, so maybe you should start getting used to losing!” She knew it was a little cocky, but she couldn’t help, she was talented, and she knew it.

“Okay then. Let’s see what you can do new girl!”

The second round was really close, they were tied until the last card. Clarke was running against the clock trying to finish her drawn, the word on her card: Mount Weather. She had a very risky idea but hoped Lexa would guess right.

Lincoln and Nyko couldn’t believe. 10 seconds, that was all it took for Lexa to get the right answer. “How the hell did you do that?”

“That was amazing Clarke!” Before Lexa could stop herself, she was taking the blonde into a tight hug. When she realized what she did, she immediately released the blonde who had a brilliant smile on her face.

Blushing a little Clarke look at Lexa who was staring at the ground before turning to the boys. “Well, I never been to Mount Weather so I wouldn’t know how to hint this easily for Lexa, but Luna and Nylah told a little about their school and how you guys have a rivalry going on, they showed me a picture of a game against them and I guess the uniform got stuck in my brain.”

“That was really clever, I would have never done it this way.” Lincoln was smiling warmly at her; this girl was definitely something.

“I think we should make our way to the court, wait for Luna and Niylah there.” Lexa said without looking Clarke in the eyes.

They said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. Clarke decided to stay quiet sensing that the brunette wasn’t comfortable with the hug even if she had initiated. But eventually, the silent got to be too much to Lexa, who couldn’t figure out how the blonde felt about the affection display. Usually, she wouldn’t touch anyone willing, she always kept people at a distance.

“You are very talented Clarke and that was a brilliant strategy. If this is what you can do in 30 seconds, I want to see what you do in a class.”

“Well, I do have a art scholarship for so…” Clarke's eyes were shining, and she was walking much closer to Lexa than before.

“That is nice, do you play any sports?” Lexa didn’t know why, but something in the other girl made her want to know everything about her. Like friends, you know, just friends.

They entered the court and took a seat in the bleachers. “Yeah, I am in the cheer squad, got a scholarship for that too.”

Immediately after the words left Clarke’s mouth Lexa’s brain got flooded with the most delicious images of Clarke in their school cheerleader uniform. The short skirt, the tight fit it would probably have in the other girl’s chest… Shit, her mind got back to the moment were Clarke asked about their team number. Shit, shit, shit.

“Hey, girls!!! How did it go?” She has never been so happy to hear Luna’s voice.

Clarke turned towards Lexa waiting to see if she would answer but the other girl was looking anywhere but at her. “Humm… It was good, we got 47 out of 50.”

While Niylah sat beside Clarke talking about their score, Luna stood in front of Lexa.

“Are you okay there?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you keep avoiding Clarke’s eyes, did something happen?” Luna lowered her voice so Clarke and Niylah couldn’t hear her.

“What? No, nothing happened. We just played together, that is it.” That was not it. She was doing so well, love is weakness, high school relationships don’t last. She really started to believe that she could make until the end of the year without worrying about it until she looked at the blonde. She didn’t even know Clarke; she could be a serial killer for all that she knew.

“Sure, your reaction really makes me believe that.” She seated down next to Lexa. “You know, if this is about before, when we all appreciated her ummm... her nicely formed body, it is okay, she didn’t look upset and if you feel bad about it, what I don’t think you truly are, because great boobs right? Just apologize.”

Luna was always teasing but Lexa didn’t want to talk about it, and the thought of someone looking at Clarke like that didn’t sit well with her. “Shut up, you shouldn’t be talking about her like that.”

“Wow, jealous much? And don’t act like you didn’t look.”

“I am not jealous.” The older girl shot her a look that said she didn’t believe her. “Whatever, let’s go finish this game.”

She didn’t wait for the other girls, quickly making her way to the center of the court to pick their student hunt instructions. The whole way she was repeating her thoughts like a mantra.

Love is weakness

High school relationships don't last

She could make until the end of the year, statistically she would share 3 classes with Clarke at the most, she didn’t even need to be friends with the other girl, if there was a thing she was good was at controlling her emotions. It would be fine, right?

Chapter Text

It was not fine. 

Clarke was everywhere. They shared all but one class, Lexa’s last class of the day was creative writing while Clarke had Arts, not even during lunch Lexa could get away from the blue eye beauty. She didn’t know what it was about the other girl but apparently, Clarke had every one of her teammates in a spell, even Anya got along with her, well, everyone but Nia.

Lexa didn’t want to think about the feelings that the sight of the cheerleader stirred in her, she was considering herself extremely lucky that the school had postponed the purchase of the new uniforms until all the teams were formed, it was hard enough to keep her eyes off the blonde when she was wearing yoga pants and loose shirts, she had no idea what she would do when Clarke started to wear her uniform. She was so screwed.

She tried to keep her distance; she really did. She would smile and be polite, she even participated a little during their lunches talks but she had always preferred to listen rather than talk and all her friends knew that, so no one saw anything weird in her behavior, so what if she stared at Clarke while she was talking, none of them were doing different, even Nia would, although with disgust instead of awe.

Opposite to Lexa, Clarke has been doing everything she can to get to know the brunette. She accepted every invitation to sit at the soccer team table, she even went out with Luna and Niylah to a party at Ontari’s house hoping she would see Lexa there, but the girl didn’t show up.

“She won’t come,” Luna told her when she saw Clarke starring at the door for the tenth time that night.

“What?” Clarke asked without taking her eyes off the entrance.

“Lexa” that did it, she turned to face Luna, “she isn’t coming,” Luna said while taking a sip from her drink.

“Why not?”

“Is Ontari’s house.” The way Luna said it made Clarke feel like it should be something obvious.

“I know that, but I thought it was a soccer party, shouldn’t all the players on the team be here?” From everything the girls had been talking telling her, the soccer team supposed to be a big family where everyone, even Nia, received support.

“Well, generally yes, everyone would be here, but this is a special occasion. Ontari is throwing this party because Costia got an early acceptance at Azgeda Tech, the university two cities from here. They have a great sports program.” Luna was explaining but it didn’t make any sense, not for Clarke at least. If this was a celebration for one of their teammates they all should be here.

Clarke was very confused “Shouldn’t you all be happy for her then? Why would that justify Lexa not being here?”

“Clarke. Costia is Lexa’s ex, it is not my place to tell you what happened but it was ugly and very recent.”

“Shit, she broke up with Lexa and is already with Ontari?” Luna nodded in agreement, “that is mess up.”

Clarke could help but feel bad for Lexa, she knew that you couldn’t control who and when you feel in love but every time she saw Ontari and Costia around the school they were always on each other, like making out in the hall or feeding one another during lunch, it must be hard for Lexa to have to watch this. She was staring at Ontari and Costia now who were making out on the dance floor, so mad that they would do this to Lexa.

“Maybe you should stop staring daggers at then, people might think you are interested in one of them,” Luna warned her with a teasing tone.

She would never, ever, like someone who had no consideration for their ex-lover, not that Lexa should dictate what they were doing as a couple, but they could tone it down a little bit. “Not in a fucking million years.”

“So, you are mad on behalf of Lexa? Didn’t know you guys were that close already.” That was that stupid smirk that Luna seemed to sport every time Lexa was mentioned in a conversation with Clarke.

She tried to explain without giving how much she felt for the other girl already. Although she didn’t have many chances to talk and get to know the brunette, something about her told Clarke that she did not deserve this treatment. “It’s not that. I just know how she must be feeling, especially having to see them every day.”

“What do you mean? Bad break recently?” Niylah asked having approached her friends during the last part of the conversation.

Clarke finished her drink in one take, she really didn’t want to think or talk about it, but maybe it would help her new friends understand why she felt so strongly about the subject. “Well, if you call catching my now ex-boyfriend making out with one of my best friends in her bed the day I was moving here a bad break up guess you are right.”

“Damn Clarke, I am sorry. What an asshole, both of them.” Luna really seemed sorry.

“Is their lost Clarke, anyone would be lucky to have a girl like you,” Niylah said throwing her arms around Clarke’s shoulders. She let herself be consoled by her friend, neither of them realized how Luna was staring at them.

During the rest of the week Clarke started to pay more attention to Lexa behavior, especially when Costia and Ontari were sitting in the soccer team’s table, the brunette would look anywhere but at her ex, she never answered anything one of them asked unless it was directed at her, nor she greeted them when she joined her teammates, it was like neither of them existed for the taller girl. Clarke thought Lexa was really strong for acting with such class, she wasn’t sure she would be like that if she was still at Arkadia and had to look at Finn and Raven every day.

On Friday, Lexa seemed distracted during all the classes she shared with Clarke, even though she hadn’t known the student body president for long, she was always focused during class and the change in her behavior caused Clarke to worry about the other girl.

Walking out of class, Clarke was so lost in her thoughts that she almost hit Niylah, losing her balance and toppling to the floor. “Wow there,” Niylah said while reaching for Clarke to stop her fall. “Clarke, are you ok?”

“Ooo, sorry Niylah, didn’t see you there,” Clarke shook her head, “yeah, I am fine, just a little distracted, I think. What’s up?”

“Nothing much, are you sure you are okay?” Niylah released her once she found her footing again.

“Yeah, it is just....” shaking her head she tried to think of anything that didn’t have to do with the brunette. “My dad is having some tests done today so I can’t visit, the results should come back tomorrow, it is the first chance we have to know how he is responding to the treatment.”

“Hope everything goes well, but what are you doing until they?” They started to walk to the cafeteria.

“Guess I will just stay home, do some homework and try not to eat all my nails hahaha.” She tried to laugh but it didn’t have any joy in it, it was the fakest laugh she had ever made.

“No no no no, this will not do,” getting on her knees to make the other blonde laugh for real this time. “dear Clarke Griffin, will you do me the honor to accompany me to the movies tonight?” Niylah asked with the most pompous voice she could do.

Clarke could help but laugh at her friend’s antics but got in on the joke anyway. Bowing in front of Niylah she answered, “Of course my dear, that would be my pleasure Miss Niylah.” Both were laughing so much they didn’t see that most of the people on the corridor had stopped to watch them, especially Nia who had a malicious smile in her face.

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Luna couldn’t believe what she was hearing, this definitely couldn’t be true, Clarke and Niylah were just friends, that was it. Someone probably misheard them, that has to be it. Nia could also be lying, Luna was sure Nia knew how she felt about Niylah, maybe she was just trying to make Luna jealous.

She looked up when she heard Niylah laugh entering the cafeteria, she watched as Clarke and Niylah made their way to the table with their arms intertwined. As soon as both girls were sitting Luna started talking.

“Hey, guys, what is so funny?” She tried to keep the jealousy out of her voice but I was so hard.

“Niylah.” Clarke answered with a serious face before bursting in laugh again. When she calmed down the younger blonde went to get food for both of them.

“So, Clarke gets food for you now?” She asked nonchalantly.

“Hum, yeah I...”

“Is it true you asked her to the movies?” She couldn’t wait anymore, she had to know maybe there was still a little hope.

“What? Who told you that? I literally just asked, how could you already know?” Luna felt all the hope evade her body on the surprise that was written all over Niylah’s face.

“Great, that is just great. And everyone is talking about it, you did in the middle of the hall so...” she was so mad, she couldn’t believe this. Maybe she should have acted faster, but she was waiting for the right moment, goddammit Luna, now you lost your chance.

“Wait, why are you so mad?” Niylah tried to reach for her hand.

“I am not mad.” she got up picking her bag from the seat beside her, “Hope you two have a great date.” She turned, leaving a stunned Niylah behind her.

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“Date?” Niylah turned to Clarke, “Niy, I really like but not like that, I thought it was a friendly outing.”

“It is, I don’t know who told Luna it was a date,” She didn’t know what was happening, in one moment she was about to explain to Luna why Clarke was getting her food and in the other she was left in a mess with people staring at her and Clarke, “I swear Clarke, I have no romantic feelings for you.”

“Ufff, okay.” She watched as Clarke breathed in relief, “I actually thought you had feelings for Luna.”

“I… I hummm…. I do.” She finally admitted.

“So why haven’t you asked her on a date yet?” Clarke asked while putting their trails with the food on the table and taking a seat in front of Niylah, where Luna was before.

“I just don’t want risk losing her friendship, she is my best friend, Clarke, what if I tell her and she doesn’t feel the same and everything change?” There had been situations where she thought Luna may feel something more than friendship for her, but it was a big risk to take.

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“Well,” It was Clarke’s turn to get smug, she couldn’t believe how blind their friends were. “if that demonstration of jealousy doesn’t make you believe she likes you back I don’t know what it will. Really Niy, I have been here for two weeks and even I can see you both have feeling for each other, I won’t tell you that it won’t change things but every relationship is risk you take, you have to figure it out if you would rather try and risk changing things or live the rest of your life never knowing.” She said sweetly, she knew how hard it was to take that risk, Finn wasn’t her best friend, they were just kind of friendly and that had been a hard decision for her, so for Niylah and Luna, it was probably harder.

“You are right, I don’t think I can keep going like this, but how should I tell her? Should I go after her now?”

Niylah was almost out of her seat when Clarke grabbed her hand, “No, let her calm down. She seemed pretty angry, just give her some time and explain to her after, we are not going on a date, it is just two friends going to the movies, nothing wrong with that. Once she calms down then you two need to have a talk.”

“You are right, okay.”

They resumed eating and talked about how Niylah would ask Luna out. The topic changed when the other girls joined then and Clarke couldn’t keep her eyes out of Lexa, the brunette looked tired and sad like something was troubling her. Once the taller girl finished eating, she was out of her seat, Clarke said goodbye to the rest of the table and followed Lexa, she was worried about her and wanted a chance to show that she cared.

“Hey Lexa, wait up!” She called after her.

Lexa turned, “Hey Clarke, do you need anything?” She didn’t look like she wanted to talk but maybe she just needed to know someone was there for her.

“No, I just… I wanted to ask are you okay?”

“I am fine.” The stoic mask was back, if Clarke hadn’t spent the last week observing her so close, she would have never seen how Lexa hid her true feelings.

“Are you sure? It is just that you look sad, and I just wanted you to know that I am here if you want to talk, I know that we don’t know each other that well but.” She was rambling, she knew that, but the other girl made her nervous.

“You are right Clarke.”

“What?” For all the thing that the brunette could have answered this was not one that Clarke was expecting, but she saw the moment the brunette face changed from stoic to a controlled angry, it was quite scary.

“You are right we don’t know each other, YOU don’t know me, I don’t want to talk, and if I did, I certainly have better options than you. So, stop trying to play psychologist and just leave me the hell alone.”

Clarke’s eyes were filling with tears with every word that Lexa said. Blinking to try and stop the tears from falling she took a moment to swallow her emotions, she didn’t understand why Lexa had treated her this way, all she knew was that she had to get out of there before she made a bigger fool of herself. 

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Seen the tears gathering in Clarke’s eyes made Lexa instantly regret her words. She was sad, and angry and mad at the word. Today was supposed to be a happy day, it would be her and Costia’s third anniversary if they hadn’t beak up, she had this big surprise all ready for her and after they broke up she completely forgot about it until last night when the hotel had sent her a message to confirm her reservation. 

It wasn’t that she wasn’t over Costia, it is just that it made her remember how much she was willing to give her, and the other girl didn’t even care, she was mad at herself most of all, for not learning from her mistakes. She was supposed to focus only on soccer and school, but she had spent the last week trying to get Clarke out of her mind. 

“Clarke, I am…” She tried to say. 

“No, you are right, I am sorry I bothered you. I will just go.” She turned before Lexa could say anything else and was out of her sight in seconds. 

Dammit, Lexa, she didn’t deserve that. Why are you such a mess? You idiot. She knew she was way out of line; the other girl was only trying to be nice and she treated her awfully. This wasn’t the point of letting go of her feelings. She would have to find a way to apologize to Clarke, maybe it was time to let go of the past.