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I don't know what feels true (but this feels right, so stay a sec)

Summary:

"How long have you been together anyway?" Renjun asked, once the movie ended.

Jaemin and Donghyuck shot each other confused looks, before bursting into laughter.

"We're not dating," Jaemin said, like his arms weren't around Donghyuck's waist.

-

aka Five Times Everyone Thought Jaemin and Donghyuck Were Dating (And The One Time They Actually Were)

Notes:

hi!! i'm danadia i'm a hyuckminist welcome to my ted talk

this is 4.6k of me going off about my Affectionate Boys

title from hostage by billie eilish

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Renjun hated Donghyuck and Jaemin for a multitude of reasons. Such as stealing his clothes when he was showering. Or telling Sicheng he had a crush on him when he didn't which lead to a very uncomfortable talk. Or making him pay for all their food every time they all went out. Or changing his lock screen to that really ugly picture of him. Or any other petty reason because Renjun was not above holding a grudge.

But right now he hated them for thinking he was blind and couldn't tell they were dating. Who did they think he was? Mark?

The three of them were having a movie night, which Donghyuck had called "Fuck Jeno Lives" night because the other boy had bailed on them, at the last minute, to study with Mark. But movie night had quickly turned into Jaemin-and-Donghyuck-flirting-as-Renjun-watched-movies-alone night. Renjun was being to feel like he was intruding on them, even though they were all squished together on his couch, in his living room. So now Renjun was calling it "Fuck Donghyuck, Jaemin and Jeno Lives Night" in his head.

It started when Donghyuck sat in Jaemin's lap. Renjun didn't think much of it at first. They were the touchiest ones in their friend group and tended to cling to each other whenever no one else wanted it, or just because they gravitated towards each other. Jaemin had tangled their fingers together and kissed Donghyuck's nose, making him giggle. Which wasn't new, the casual affection, though kisses weren't as common. What was new was Donghyuck blushing and Jaemin looking at him like he hung the stars. Renjun had cleared his throat and they both looked at him, looking kind of embarrassed. Like they had forgotten he was there for those few seconds of intense eye contact.

After that they turned on an action movie and Renjun tuned out the other two, in favor of watching half a train blow up. Until Jaemin started ticking Donghyuck, making him kick Renjun as he squirmed to get away.

Renjun groaned, throwing his head back in annoyance, and pushed Donghyuck's feet out of his lap. He grabbed the remote, pausing the movie, and turned to them with his best annoyed expression.

"Can you two do that some other time? When I'm not around?" he asked, and they looked at him like he was crazy. "If I wanted to third wheel I would've hung out with Chenle and Jisung."

"What are you talking about? We're not doing anything," Donghyuck said, scrunching his nose. He was giving his "stop being weird or I'll fight you" look. Renjun hated being on the receiving end of it, because it made him uncomfortable. Especially when he knew he wasn't doing anything wrong.

This was what probably caused the aggression in his tone when he responded again.

"You two have been all over each other all night. Even more than usual. Stop being gross while we're supposed to be watching things blow up."

"We're literally just sitting here, Jun," Jaemin argued and Renjun sent him a glare. He didn't think Jaemin playing with Donghyuck's hair, staring longingly at him, was just sitting there.

~

"How long have you been together anyway?" he asked, once the movie ended, thankfully without anymore interruptions.

They shot each other confused looks, before bursting into laughter.

"We're not dating," Jaemin said, like his arms weren't around Donghyuck's waist. Renjun hated them.

-

Jeno was going to get murdered. Definitely by Donghyuck, maybe with help from Jaemin.

He was supposed to meet the pair for lunch ten minutes ago, but he got distracted by a click-bait life hack video. Donghyuck was going to laugh at his excuse then pour soup on him or something. Jaemin would probably put a video of it on Snapchat.

They weren't usually violent, but Jeno kept having to cancel plans so they were already upset, and now that they finally pinned him down, he was late. He was so screwed.

He walked into the cafe Donghyuck told them to meet at and looked for his friends. He scanned the room, looking for Donghyuck's silver hair, and grinned when he saw them tucked into a corner. There were three mugs already in front of them, meaning they had already ordered for Jeno. Maybe they wouldn't be as upset as he thought.

As he walked towards them, he realized they hadn't seen them yet. They looked too wrapped up in each other to notice him.

They were holding hands under the table, Jaemin rubbing his thumb over Donghyuck's knuckles. He had his head buried in the silver haired boy's neck and he was whispering something. Donghyuck laughed and tangled his fingers in Jaemin's hair. It looked natural, and intimate. Like they didn't care if anyone saw them. Like it was only them in the world. It made a fond, warm feeling spread over Jeno's body.

He sat across from them and sent them a smile. Jaemin sat up and they both turned to face him with matching glares. Jeno's smile wavered a bit.

"Why are you late? We don't see you for two whole weeks, and this is how you repay us? What kinda friend are you, Lee Jeno?" Donghyuck whined, sending Jeno his most lethal pout. Jaemin smiled at the side of his head, eyes practically turning into hearts and Donghyuck turned his face so he could glare at Jeno some more. Jeno almost laughed at the change in expression, but he didn't want to get himself in more trouble.

"I'm sorry! I got distracted by a life hack video! Please don't be mad at me. I miss you guys too,"

"If you miss us so much you'd hang out with us more," Jaemin said, now pouting too. Jeno felt like he was being attacked. Their pouts made his heart hurt and they knew it.

"I'm sorry. I just really wanna do well with my finals and stuff, and all of you are ridiculously distracting," he explained. Donghyuck gasped and he looked genuinely hurt.

Jeno was about to explain himself again, but instead Jaemin put a hand on the back of Donghyuck's neck, and the other under his chin to get his attention. Donghyuck looked over with another pout.

"You know he didn't mean it like that Hyuckie. And are you really gonna be mad at him for wanting a good education?"

Jaemin smiled at him again, small and saccharine and Donghyuck huffed, but nodded in agreement with his words. He turned back to Jeno with a smile. Jeno mirrored his expression and Jaemin reached across the table to squish his cheeks.

"Can you at least try to hang out with us more? You don't have to spend every weekend studying! It's just been me and Nana lately and it's starting to get boring."

Jaemin pouted at him and Donghyuck kissed his cheek to appease him. Jeno couldn't stop himself from smiling. They were just so cute.

"I will definitely try to hang out with you guys more. I must've missed a lot if you two are together now, huh?"

They both shared exasperated looks and Jeno would have laughed if he wasn't confused.

"We're not dating! First Renjun, and now you. Why can't people just be affectionate?" Jaemin whined. Jeno wrinkled his nose, still confused. They were basically on top of each other and they were still holding hands, even as they claimed they weren't dating. Weirdos.

"Sorry for assuming, I guess. But you two would be cute together," he replied with a shrug. They shared another look, both staring like they were lost in thought before turning away, blushing. Jaemin smiled at the side of Donghyuck's head again when he wasn't looking. They were still holding hands and Jeno found himself smiling yet again.

-

When Chenle walked into Donghyuck's room, he was expecting to see him and Jaemin studying, like they invited him over for. Which, to be fair, he shouldn't have really expected because the two of them together meant little studying actually happened. But he also wasn't expecting to walk in on something so… affectionate.

They were laying in Donghyuck's bed, legs tangled together. Jaemin had his hands up the back of Donghyuck's shirt, rubbing his back. Donghyuck was playing with the hair on the nape of Jaemin's neck, and Jaemin was kissing his face. They looked cozy and warm and the most at ease Chenle had seen either of them in weeks since the loom of finals started.

Chenle hated to ruin the moment, but he also wanted to pass.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked, and Jaemin jumped as Donghyuck looked over at him, unphased. Jaemin started to move away from their cuddle and Donghyuck whined loudly. He pouted and Jaemin immediately re-wrapped himself around him. He was a weak man.

"Chenle didn't come over here to watch us cuddle, Hyuck. We have to study," Jaemin argued. He didn't move away though.

"But I'm tired." Donghyuck continued to make loud whiny noises, making Jaemin smile at him like he was the cutest thing he'd ever seen. The fondness on his face was starting to make Chenle nauseous.

"You told me you'd help me with my math homework," Chenle reminded, finally stepping into the room. He almost tripped over Jaemin's jeans and realized they had probably had a sleepover without everyone else. The traitors.

"You won't need my help, Mr. Child Prodigy," Donghyuck shot back, before burying his face in Jaemin's neck. Chenle sat at his desk and threw a pencil at him. He whined yet again and did a full 180 turn to send Chenle a glare. Jaemin laughed and rested his head against his shoulder.

"See? You're awake now! Time to study," he said and Chenle smiled triumphantly.

"I hate you nerds."

Donghyuck sat up, and Jaemin followed after, with his arms still wrapped around his waist. He pressed a kiss to Donghyuck's shoulder, making the older boy smile to himself. Chenle resisted the urge to gag. Even him and Jisung weren't this gross.

~

Ten minutes into studying and things were going smoothly, except that Jaemin wouldn't stop playing with Donghyuck's hands. The older boy didn't seem to mind, but it was distracting Chenle and making him miss Jisung at the same time.

"Can you stop touching him? You're distracting me," he said, throwing a crumpled up piece of paper at Jaemin's head. It smacked him in the forehead and Donghyuck laughed.

"It's not my fault you have the attention span of a baby. If I wanna touch Hyuckie, then I will," Jaemin shot back, sticking his tongue out. Donghyuck snorted, before erasing something in his notebook.

"Were Jisung and I this annoying when we started dating?" Chenle asked and Jaemin almost took his eye out when he threw Donghyuck's pencil at him. Chenle gaped at him, in shock. "What was that?"

"Why does everyone keep saying we're dating?" Jaemin said, ignoring his outrage and looking very grumpy. Donghyuck frowned down at his notebook before looking up at Chenle.

"You and Jisung were even more annoying than Jaemin and me," he said, with something off in his voice. He sounded upset and Chenle thought it had something to do with Jaemin's reaction. The nervous glance in Jaemin's direction let him know it definitely was due to his reaction.

The conversation was dropped after that, in favor of Donghyuck quizzing Chenle with rapid fire math questions, but Jaemin didn't let go of his hand.

-

Mark knew he could be kind of oblivious at times. But he'd like to think he could read his friends pretty well. So he was confused about why Donghyuck and Jaemin were being so obvious about them dating and liking each other, but hadn't actually told him yet.

They had been standing in the hallway, waiting for class to start and Donghyuck had been whining about something that Mark was tuning out. He knew it was rude but Donghyuck whined a lot and he was trying to go over his flashcards.

Donghyuck was mid-whine, when out of nowhere, Jaemin grabbed his face in his hands, making Donghyuck stop in the middle of his sentence. He squished Donghyuck's pink cheeks until his lips were puckered, and for a second Mark thought they were going to kiss. They definitely looked at each other's lips.

Instead of that Jaemin said, "Hyuckie, baby, I will pay you to stop to stop complaining." To which, Donghyuck punched him on the shoulder and glared at him as he laughed. Then Mark watched as they tangled their fingers together and had a heated debate about some movie they had watched with Chenle until classes started.

-

Now they were at lunch, and he was beginning to think they thought he was blind. It was just the three of them again because the other four were either in class or doing god knows what. Donghyuck was sitting in Jaemin's lap despite there being at least five open chairs, and Jaemin kept feeding him. Mark was kind of nauseated.

"Mark, do you have my notes by the way? The history ones?" Jaemin asked, finally glancing away from Donghyuck eating off his fork. Mark felt like some kind of weird foreplay was going on because of how they were looking at each other, and he did not want to be a part of it.

"Uh, yeah? They're in my bag. Hyuck, why are you sitting on him?" Mark finally asked and Donghyuck smiled at him, like he said something funny.

"Because he's comfortable, Mark. And he's the only one who will accept my affection!" Donghyuck said, which was total bullshit. They all accepted his affection, just not as readily as Jaemin.

Mark voiced this thought and Donghyuck said that was why Jaemin was his favorite, which made Jaemin light up like something glittering in the sun. It was fitting because he was basking in Donghyuck's attention.

Finally, Mark got too curious, and mildly uncomfortable, watching them flirt and hang off of each other, that he just asked if they were dating.

Jaemin answered almost instantly with a firm "No" but Donghyuck just went silent and refused to make eye contact. It kind of hurt Mark's heart, those conflicting responses.

~

Mark had let the conversation be until the end of the day when he met Donghyuck at his classroom. He knew Jaemin would snatch Donghyuck up so they could walk home together, so he had to be fast.

"Hyuck, I saw you get all quiet at lunch when I asked about you and Jaemin. Is everything alright?" He jumped right to the point, which may not have been the best plan because Donghyuck tensed, and avoided eye contact again.

"Yeah, why wouldn't everything be fine?" Donghyuck replied, still not meeting his eyes. Mark huffed and grabbed his chin to make him make eye contact.

"Hyuckie, I care about you and I want you to be happy. If I upset you by asking, I really didn't mean to. I was just curious. I didn't mean to cross your boundaries or anything," Mark said, still holding onto his chin. Donghyuck grabbed his wrist as if he was going to pull his hand away, but he didn't move after that. Just bit his lip, looking nervous.

"You didn't do anything, promise. It's- It's Jaemin," he started. But before he could elaborate, Jaemin himself marched over and moved Mark's hand with a frown.

He didn't say anything, just glared at Mark and pulled Donghyuck away. Mark watched them walk down the hallway even more confused than he started.

He felt like he didn't understand anything, least of all Jaemin and Donghyuck's relationship. Or lack thereof. Maybe he was as oblivious as everyone said.

-

Jisung hated waking up in the middle of the night. It made him unable to fall back asleep and he always ended up in some weird situation because of his friends.

Weird situations like seeing Yukhei drunkenly climb through a window, or watching Renjun burn coffee at two in the morning. Or like, walking in on Donghyuck and Jaemin kissing.

He had just been coming back from the bathroom and he went into Jaemin's room to lay next to Chenle again. He did not ask to be emotionally scarred.

Jaemin had Donghyuck in his lap, with his hands in the older boy's hair. They were attached at the mouth and Jisung's half asleep brain thought the best course of action was to scream. Thankfully, Chenle slept like the dead, so it was only the three of them in the world's most awkward situation.

Donghyuck let out what could only be described as a squeak and buried his face in Jaemin's neck, turning bright red. Jaemin looked like he didn't know whether to laugh or scream.

"I- Uh- I'm gonna go back to sleep. Let's just pretend this didn't happen?" Jisung stuttered out, feeling like his tongue was tripping over itself. Jaemin nodded and Donghyuck rolled out of his lap before covering his head with Jaemin's comforter. Jisung laid back down and turned to face Chenle, who was still passed out. Thank God.

Jisung heard Donghyuck and Jaemin quietly bickering, which ended in Jaemin saying sorry about five times in a room before he thankfully fell asleep again.

~

When Jisung woke up for the second time, it was around eight am and Chenle was laying next to him, watching something on his phone. He glanced at Donghyuck and Jaemin and saw them cuddling. Donghyuck was pressed to Jaemin's chest like usual and Jisung was relieved that their awkward encounter hadn't made them uncomfortable with each other. He wouldn't know what to do if he had accidentally made them weirded out by each other.

"Lele?" Jisung asked, wrapping his arm around Chenle's waist. His boyfriend turned to him with a curious expression, and Jisung kissed his nose. Chenle smiled at him and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"What's up?" he asked, tracing Jisung's nose with his finger. Jisung scrunched his face because it tickled and Chenle smiled even wider.

"How long have Hyuck and Jaemin been together? They didn't like tell everyone and I forgot or something right?"

Jisung didn't think he'd forget something like that, but you never knew. Chenle snorted.

"No. They claim they're not dating. Why?"

Jisung wrinkled his nose. He didn't know anyone who kissed their friends without dating. Or looked at each like Donghyuck and Jaemin did, without dating. They were strange.

"Oh, well. Are they doing something like casual or something? Like no labels or whatever? Because I walked in on them kissing last night-"

"You what?" Chenle screeched. Jisung jumped, shocked at the sudden noise, and Donghyuck woke up from his sleep, letting out a noise of confusion. Jaemin didn't move, but he pulled Donghyuck closer.

"What's going on?" Donghyuck grumbled. Jisung sent Chenle a look and he smiled sheepishly.

"Nothing. Chenle just got excited about his video," Jisung lied and Donghyuck smiled sleepily.

"That's cute. I'm going back to sleep," he said, before laying back on Jaemin's chest. Jaemin slid his hands up the back of his shirt and he smiled.

They laid in silence waiting for Donghyuck's quiet snores to fill the room before speaking again.

"What do you mean you walked in on them kissing?" Chenle whispered.

"Exactly what I said. I came back from the bathroom at like one in the morning, and they were kissing in Jaemin's bed," he explained and Chenle wrinkled his nose.

"They have no shame," he whispered, looking disgusted and Jisung laughed.

Jaemin grabbed a pillow and threw it at them. It hit Jisung in the back of his head, making Chenle laugh.

"Can you guys be quiet?" he groaned, his eyes still closed. "It's eight in the morning. And mind your own business."

Jisung frowned at him but turned back to Chenle, who was matching his expression. He didn’t continue the conversation, but as he wrapped his arms around his own boyfriend, he hoped Jaemin and Donghyuck actually did get together sometime in the near future. He knew love when he saw it, and they had it. It’d be a shame for nothing to come of it.

-

Na Jaemin was many things. A flirt, a sap, a pretty boy. But one thing Jaemin wasn’t was a coward. He was going to punch his friends for even considering him such a thing.

They were hanging out at Mark’s house, celebrating the end of finals. Only Donghyuck wasn’t there because he was taking a “48 hour nap”. Jaemin had mentioned missing him, completely casually, and then Renjun had said, “You know, you’re a coward.”

“How am I coward?” he asked and Renjun looked at him like he was stupid. Sometimes Jaemin really hated him.

“Because you refuse to be Hyuckie’s boyfriend, coward,” he said, and everyone else nodded in agreement.

“Maybe I don’t want to be his boyfriend,” Jaemin shot back, but he was a liar and they all knew it.

“Okay, then stop cuddling him and holding his hand and kissing him,” Mark chimed in. He sounded irritated and Jaemin would’ve supported and loved the protectiveness wholeheartedly if it wasn’t directed at him.

“Why doesn’t Hyuck have to stop doing that stuff with me? He hasn’t had said anything about us being boyfriends either!” Jaemin knew he was grasping at straws here. Donghyuck had asked the boyfriend question more than once and Jaemin had either not answered, or told him he’d think about it and the promptly forgotten about it.

“Maybe because the second anyone says anything about you two being boyfriends you shut it down, and get grumpy,”Jeno said.

“Because you guys don’t know how to mind your business!”

“Jaemin, you almost took out my eye with a pencil because I made a joke about you and Donghyuck being an annoying couple,” Chenle argued and Jaemin winced. Maybe he was a coward.

“Look, it’s fine if you don’t want to date him but then you have to stop being all over all the time. You’re just leading him on, and that’s really uncool,” Renjun said. Jaemin scoffed. Where did they get the idea that he didn’t want to date Hyuck?

“I never said I don’t want to date him. I do want to date him,” he corrected. He ignored Renjun’s joyous cry of “Finally!”

“Go tell him then,” Jisung said, grinning.

“Like right now? He’s taking his 48 hour nap,” Jaemin said. His heart started to pound in his chest, smacking into his ribs. There was no way he could just tell Donghyuck he wanted to be his boyfriend.

“Nah, he just texted me a pic of his computer, bragging about his high score on some game,” Jeno said.

“Come on Nana. I’ll drive you,” Mark said, smiling reassuringly. He grabbed his keys and then Jaemin was being pulled outside against his will.

-

Okay, so, maybe Na Jaemin was a coward. It was fine though! No big deal. There was tons of cowardly icons who’s footsteps he was following in. Like the Cowardly Lion! It was even in his name, that’s how iconic his cowardice was.

“You look like you’re gonna puke,” Mark said, shooting Jaemin a nervous glance. Jaemin waved off his concern, even though he was screaming in his head.

The thing is, he couldn’t just casually ask Donghyuck to be his boyfriend. Firstly, because Donghyuck would probably bully him immediately for asking. And if, on the off chance no bullying happened, Jaemin was pretty sure he’d say no either way.

Donghyuck was one of the most beautiful boys Jaemin had ever met in his whole life, and there was no way Jaemin met his standards.

Mark pulled up in front of Donghyuck’s house and Jaemin bit his lip. He felt like he was going to pass out.

“Jaemin, you got this! You don’t have to be nervous. Hyuck loves you,” Mark said. He put his hand on Jaemin’s shoulder and smiled reassuringly. Jaemin nodded. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, before getting out of the car.

“Jaemin, you got this! You don’t have to be nervous. Hyuck loves you,” Mark said. He put his hand on Jaemin’s shoulder and smiled reassuringly. Jaemin nodded. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, before getting out of the car.

He sent Mark one last nervous look, earning a smile and a thumbs up, then he walked up Donghyuck’s front steps and knocked on the door.

Donghyuck opened the door a few seconds after he knocked, and Jaemin lost his already shallow breath. Donghyuck looked so beautiful that it almost hurt. His hair was messy from sleep and he was wearing one of Mark’s shirts he had stolen. The sun was hitting him in a way that made him glow and he looked like gold. Jaemin could look at him all day.

“Do you wanna come in or are you just gonna stare at me?” Donghyuck asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. Jaemin laughed nervously, and followed him into the house. He followed Donghyuck into the living room and was hit with the smell of cinnamon.

“Why does it smell like cookies?” he asked as Donghyuck pulled him onto the couch. Donghyuck lied down, and opened his arms waiting for Jaemin to crawl into them. He pouted when Jaemin didn’t move towards him.

“I lit a candle. Now, cuddle me,” he whined, wiggling his body closer to Jaemin’s. Jaemin nodded and laid against his chest. He was a weak man, and it was better to get one last cuddle in before Donghyuck rejected him.

He smiled as Donghyuck wrapped his arms around him, covering him in his warmth. He smelled like his cologne and the candle. Jaemin let out a sigh against his neck and Donghyuck made a happy sort of hum.

“Hyuckie?” Jaemin said, feeling his heart pound again. He gripped Donghyuck’s shirt loosely, and closed his eyes to calm himself down. He figured it was now or never. Better to bite the bullet when he just got there than to wait all night and to ruin any comfort he may have had.

“Yeah?” Donghyuck said, starting to play with his hair.

“What would you say if I asked you to be my boyfriend?”

There. It was out. Now Jaemin wasn’t a coward anymore, at least.

Donghyuck hummed. “I’d say you’re an idiot.”

Jaemin’s stomach dropped to his feet, like he’d just done a loop on a roller coaster. He was hit with the urge to cry, but there was no way he’d do that in front of Donghyuck. He sat up and started to pull himself away from Donghyuck’s hold, but the older boy yanked him back.

“You’re an idiot because you should know by now that I wanna be your boyfriend Nana. You shouldn’t have to ask,” Donghyuck explained and Jaemin felt his brain stop.

“Wait, really?”

Donghyuck snorted and nodded.

“Yes, really. I don’t go around kissing just anyone,” he teased and Jaemin couldn’t stop himself from grinning. Donghyuck matched his smile, and Jaemin couldn’t stop himself from leaning in and kissing him.

Donghyuck’s lips were just as soft and warm as the other day before Jisung interrupted them. Jaemin cupped his jaw and pulled him closer, and Donghyuck sighed against his mouth. He pulled away, just enough that their lips weren’t touching and Donghyuck giggled.

"Why were you surprised that I wanna be your boyfriend?" he asked, running his fingers through Jaemin's hair. Jaemin leant into the touch before responding.

"I dunno. You're just affectionate with everyone, and you didn't seem to like actually wanna date me, I guess?"

Donghyuck glared and flicked him on the forehead.

"I asked you like three times if you wanted to be boyfriends and you blew me off each time! And every time anyone asked if we were together you'd get all weird and bitchy! You really are an idiot."

Jaemin batted his eyes at him with a smile. "You're idiot though, right?"

Donghyuck snorted and kissed his forehead.

“You know what this means right?” Jaemin asked, and Donghyuck furrowed his brows. Jaemin kissed his nose, making him blush.

“Now we get to be even more affectionate and annoying in front of everyone.”

Donghyuck’s only response was a delighted cackle and to pull Jaemin into another kiss.

Notes:

thank u for coming to my ted talk i hope u enjoyed this! pls leave a comment if u did uwu

twit: gayhyckie