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jin always loves comeback time. it means it's time to show their hard work poured into the new album for their lovely army, and to be in the stage again. but, it wouldn't mean he didn't feel nervous at all. in fact, this comeback his nerves are buzzing with nervousness, more so than their previous comeback.
he's used to the fact that their team always think about ways to deliver their music in different ways each time. they want to experience new things, and they also want their fans to experience it with them. more than that, they try hard now to deliver in ways that could reach as many of their fans as possible, because this is meant for them.
but this comeback, jin feels his nerves getting to him, he's left jittery with energy that he lets out by practicing his part in singing and dancing. having a quite simple choreography for their title track this time creates a little weird feeling in his mind. he's not complaining; it feels great to be able to do good and not struggling that much at the dance. and he's happy hoseok dropped his complements to his dancing from time to time.
it's about a month before their comeback and he's starting to lose the state of time because he's so focused on practicing. jimin's soft grumbles at him proved that he's forgetting time again.
"come on, jin-hyung. it's half an hour since practice is over and you're still doing the dance. you're already done extra hour of practice yesterday, i think today you deserve a rest." his lips formed a pout as he chirped through the words. it brings a smile to jin's mouth.
"now, i'm just forgetting the time again. i didn't realize you guys have finished the one on your own because i'm in the corner." jin answered him, ruffling jimin's hair in the process.
"but you're not planning on doing extra practice tonight right?" jimin passed him his bag and giving him a water bottle.
after murmuring a thank you and took some chugs of water jin answered, "no. i'm going to do it the next day. i asked jungkook to practice with me."
jimin only hummed and stay quiet after that. he only ushered jin to immediately wipe down his sweat and pack his stuff so they can go home. when he was about to get his phone from the snack counter did he notice the others are not with them anymore.
jin let out an awed "whoa i was really focused huh." that make jimin snorted.
"you didn't even move a single muscle to react to hobi-hyung's goodbye, you know? jungkookie, taetae, and yoongi-hyung, and namjoon-hyung only leave you be after you didn't respond being called at. i told them to head out first when namjoon-hyung said he's going to stay up in the studio tonight." jimin recounted. his voice had a slightly different weight after namjoon's name was mentioned.
deciding to side-stepping mentioning namjoon, jin opted to answering about the other. "so now it's just us both? aww jiminie, hyung is so moved because you stayed." he made a grabbing gesture and proceeded to glomp jimin's smaller body. the said man only grunted and wriggled a little to adjust his position before bursting into a giggling mess.
"it's alright, hyung. you deserve the rest tonight," he pushed jin out of their hug and continued, "i know you're especially jittery for this comeback, and you put those energy into your practice. i really can see from your steps, hyung. but right now, let's get more rest because when this comeback started we need all the energy we could have."
jin nodded in earnest and his lips formed that bow smile that makes jimin internally cooed at his hyung's cuteness. "i know jiminie, I'll rest more."
"alright!" jimin beamed. "let's go home, jin-hyung."
"okay, okay! let me just get my jacket. you head out first, i'll be right behind you." jin jogged to the little closet in their practise room, getting his jacket then walking out of the room. as he moved to lock the room, his eyes trailed over to the lobby, looking to the near end where he knows a certain someone's studio is located.
"i could let you stay here with a certain someone, if you want." come jimin's voice chirping right next to his ears, and jin immediately tears his eyes away to look sharply at jimin.
jin sucked in a panicky breath and stammered, "i-i'm not missing anyone! what are you talking about?!"
"aha! so you miss him!" jimin's eyes light up at his respond. "aw, hyungie. i'm really honest when i said you could stay here if you want some time with him."
jin's entire cheeks and ears redden at jimin's offer. but in the end, he only shook his head a little, declining it and telling jimin he'll go home tonight. jimin just throws him a soft smile, very understanding as jimin always is, and they quietly walked their way towards the exit of the building.
it's not like jin is hiding it, to be honest. since the beginning he and their leader are close. their relationship are not very clear, but they both know they treasure each other more than just as a friend. they are still continuously busy with album making, comebacks, and promotions, they still don't have time to define what they are. and jin are fine with it because he knows they have all the time in the world. namjoon's heart are with his, and so are his with namjoon. they talked much about this. for now, they will treasure what they have, until the time comes.
but of course, that doesn't mean jin didn't miss namjoon when he works overtime (which is a lot) in preparation to their album. he miss namjoon so bad he has to continuously remind himself not to only stick with namjoon in practice session. and just now jimin caught him staring towards namjoon's studio. he knows he's like, half-unconsciously doing so, so that's the beginning of his missing-joon-hours.
it's just really hard. not missing namjoon at all. it's literally impossible to do so. because just as much as namjoon found comfort in him, he's seeking comfort from namjoon too. namjoon's presence itself is able to make him feel calm and at peace, it's already in his mind he can rely on namjoon. he's doing so, from time to time; and being the one namjoon relies on. they got each other back, filling each other; that what made jin at ease the most.
*
the other members were mostly doing their own things by the time jin and jimin arrived at their dorm. they both bring along some pretzels that their manager-hyung have bought, setting it on the table for some that wants to eat. jungkook immediately dug in, followed by taehyung and jimin who just changed to his pjs. hoseok struts out of his room to join the maknaes, pinching some pieces of pretzel and stealing some bites from the youngers'. yoongi who this time take his rest from finishing some parts for their tracks just quietly joined them to get some bites then muttering a good night for them.
no one seem to ask about namjoon to him or jimin, so he assumes namjoon already told them he stayed up for a little bit in the studio.
but then hoseok asks.
"namjoon stayed up for tonight?" he asked while still munching lightly. jungkook was about to eat the piece of pretzel pinched in his fingers but he booped his nose to make him stay out of reach and quickly eat the sweet-salty bread.
"uh, yes. i thought he told you guys?"
hoseok nodded, "he did, he did. but he didn't say for the whole night or just a few hours."
the other three answer-chained an idk too about that. they eat a couple pieces more then put the leftovers on the refrigerator and proceeds to snuggle in front of the TV. Hoseok told them not to watch for too long, and sent a playful goodnight to jin before he made his way to his room. after bidding goodnight to jimin, taehyung, and jungkook, jin also walked up to his room, deciding to just sleep for tonight.
yeah, but. well.
that's what he planned anyway. he really did plan to go to sleep. but after taking a short shower, finishing his night routine, and curled up on his bed with his blanket covering half of his face, jin found himself unable to sleep. he's tired to the bone but he can't fall asleep. and he's well aware he wants something. and that something is snuggling in a certain someone room, since the certain someone isn't the here.
which is why jin is in front of namjoon's room. he's just standing there in his pjs (with a thin jacket since the hallway is a little bit chilly) and holding onto his blanket and his RJ. he was like, a beat away from opening namjoon's door before he stops himself and contemplating his decision. he crashes members room before, namjoon's too. what makes him hesitant to do what he has done before? ah, of course, his feeling for namjoon. jin closes his eyes and think.
they treasure what they have, and they indicates each other they also want progress, however slow it is. he misses namjoon so he's doing this. it's not a bad thing, jin. it's okay.
so he's okay. and jin opens the door handle and step inside of the dark room. he closes the door and carefully walked towards the bed (still) filled with ryan plushies, although not as much considering his bigger bed. the bluish cotton curtain on his windows passed the night lights from the outside and made jin feel so serene. he flops down to the soft bed and put on his blanket. he turned to face the ryan plushies and immediately fall into dreamland with RJ in his hug and namjoon's scent in his thought.
*
namjoon opened the door to their apartment complex to be greeted by darkness and quiet. the only light is from the little lamp in the living room that helped him seeing his things just right and putting his shoes accordingly without much of a fuss.
it's 3 AM and after feeling brain burnt in his studio he decided to call it a day and went home. at least he did finished adding what he wants for some of the tracks. he could still work on the others tomorrow.
after chugging some water, he tiptoes as quiet as he can towards his room. opening the door, he's greeted by the sight of a big lump under the blanket. the soft fragrance of certain someone he recognize very well wafted in the air, confirming his thought of the identity of the person pressed close to his plushies. softly padding off to his open closet, namjoon changed out his clothes quickly to a soft cotton shirt and black pants, and make his way to the bed.
gently sitting down, he put his hands on top of the blanket and stayed still; waiting in bated breath if seokjin would wake up from the touch. fortunately he's not. namjoon leaned closer too look into his face. he looks so calm and at peace, it's almost childlike. jin always looked way younger than his looks, so is it this time; only, it has a different glow than usual. he's softer, glowing softly with the light filtered from the outside. it makes namjoon wants to hug him.
then he sees seokjin's hands were not covered with blanket because he raised it up to fists on RJ's legs. the sight make namjoon's heart squeezed a little and he has to bite his lips so he won't let out the cooing sounds. jin is too cute for his heart.
namjoon lay down slowly as to not disturb the other sleeping man next to him and pulled on his own blanket. he hears jin breathed out and feel him squirms a little before he stilled again. so namjoon turns to lay spooning jin and putting on his hand over seokjin's waist and letting his other hand squished between their bodies while he waited for the moment jin would move so he could curl it to his body.
calming down his nerves, namjoon breathed in deeply, inhaling seokjin's soft scent. it worked like magic, always is. when time is hard and he's struggling, jin-hyung always managed to be the source of comfort for him. he already knows it's the same for the other.
namjoon's not that surprised seeing seokjin sleeping on his bed this time. not that he's never done before, it's because of the circumstance. he knows jin is jittery with comeback so near in front of them, he could see from the amount of self-practice that the man did. often he's so lost in it that he forgot time. like, today. by the time practice ends and he had to leave to his studio, seokjin is still lost in his focus practising his steps.
seokjin's source of comfort, aside from the members, it's mostly from namjoon. they know what they have between them are special, and more. not labeled still, but them knowing about it, and agreeing it to each other, is enough for now. because still, namjoon loves him.
maybe it's from namjoon's breath over his neck or the movement of his hold but jin's hand that was fisting RJ moved upwards only to stop at namjoon's hand that's circling his waist. his fingertips brushed gently over namjoon's forehand, as if assessing if it's real. after huffing softly he just put his hand over it.
"joon-ah?" jin whispered, voice so soft and slurred with sleep.
"i'm here, hyung." namjoon tightened his hold on jin's waist. he could feel jin's hand squeezing his hand for a few seconds after his words.
silence engulfed them both and namjoon thought jin has gone back to sleeping. he was about to doze off when he heard jin's mutters.
"hyung sleeps here with you is okay right?" he slurred slowly.
"yes, it's totally okay, hyung."
jin nodded at his answer.
"go sleep, joonie." his shoulder slumped over namjoon's chest and his grip on his hand loosened. namjoon could hear his breath, steady in his sleep. nuzzling further to jin's hair, namjoon fall asleep fuzzy and warm and heart so full of feelings for the man in his hold.
*
it's jin who woke up first, staring into namjoon's collarbone. he's cuddled close to namjoon, with his arm underneath his head as his pillow. namjoon's other hand is holding him tight that he couldn't move so he guessed that's why he woke up.
jin knows if he turned his head just slightly up, he'll be face to face to namjoon. so he turned to look down only to see their legs tangled in the blankets. the room is already quite bright so he guessed it's still early in the morning.
he remembered waking up at some time when he feels namjoon's hand around his body, he remember what he said, and what namjoon said. he was about to say he missed namjoon, but the words wouldn't come out. instead, he said go sleep to him.
but he could say that now.
namjoon's squirming a little and that's quite the telltale sign. although, whether he's waking up or not, jin would still say it honestly to him.
letting out a breath, jin said with a smile tugging on his lips, "joonie-ah, i miss you."
jin could feel namjoon's hand tightening around his waist, and then suddenly he's being half-glomped by him. half of his body are laying on him, and his face nuzzling to jin's neck.
"miss you too, hyung."
wheezing a little (because he didn't really expect this) he adjust his body to be comfortable and hugs namjoon's back.
"you're comfy?" namjoon asked, voice muffled from next to jin.
jin only hummed and patted his back.
"what time did you get back?" he absentmindedly asked, letting his hand play with namjoon's currently blonde strands.
"3 AM. was burnt out adding some things to the tracks, so I just went back before any bad thoughts get into my head."
he pats namjoon's head more, messaging his scalp. "you worked hard, namjoonie."
namjoon put a light peck on his head, and muttered, "you too, jjin."
stifling a laugh, he slapped namjoon's back. "yah."
"pft, sorry."
"so. what time is it now"
namjoon raised his head a little then breathed a "6:30" before slumping noisily to his previous place.
"that's early," jin snorted. "why did i wake up this early."
chuckling, joon answered, "my question exactly."
hugging namjoon tight, he just whispered, "let's just sleep." his mind ready to fall back into sleepiness accompanied by namjoon's warmth and scent all around him.
"okay, hyung. i miss you." a peck again near jin's forehead, and he's nuzzling again to jin's hair before staying still, body seeping to his tiredness and into jin.
giggling in response to namjoon, jin hovers his hand over namjoon's ear, and the other circling tightly still on his back.
"i miss you too."
like that, they let themselves succumb to deep sleep filled with only them, their scent, and their warmth.
*
after they wake up for real and hurrying themselves to their schedule, they might still be blushy around each other, and the other members sending them knowing but understanding smiles. but each night, they will still come back for each other. giving strength to one another even in their sleep.