Chapter Text
The wind was blowing through the backyard leaves, leaving a fresh scent floating in the air. The warm breeze it carried warmed Yeonjun up and reassured him in some ways. He always tended to connect the warmness of the weather to how his day was going to go.
That’s why anything related to the coldness of the stormy night he had his accident made him worried about how his day was going to go. Although, in the meantime he didn’t have to get worried, since today was his first day in college, and he was lying down in his step-brother Taehyung’s backyard. Everything was going to be fine. In theory. He hoped.
Come to think of it, simply laying in the backyard, basking under the sun, had seemed to be his favorite pastime ever since he moved in. Beomgyu thought it was because he didn’t have to recognize anybody since the only living thing that could be recognized there would be strolling insects at best. But Yeonjun generally didn’t listen at Beomgyu’s wild train of thoughts, even though he was the greatest best friend Yeonjun could ever ask for.
When he left his small city to study at Seoul National University he was as scared as he was excited. Beomgyu had been nothing but supportive and unconditionally happy for him when he got accepted to the prestigious Institution to study music. And even though Yeonjun himself was thrilled, he was going to miss his best friend that was two years younger than him.
They’ve known each other ever since they were children. Some kids tried to bully Beomgyu in the playground and had Yeonjun impulsively come to his rescue when those same bullies pushed him, leaving Beomgyu in a mess of tears. Although it was impulsive and quite stupid because the boy had no strength at the time, Yeonjun had made a good decision by intervening and chasing the bullies away. He had gained a best friend, who’s smile was as bright as his personality.
At the time Yeonjun had vowed he would always protect Beomgyu from any danger that they would come across in life. And he did, eventually the bullies stopped bothering them and they happily lived their best friendship and childhood. Sometimes, he was wondering if this simple promise he made himself was one of the underlying reasons for his accident. Somehow by promising he would protect his best friend, he had forgotten to protect himself along the way.
His accident wasn’t something he liked to reminisce, but the condition he got with it was enough of a reminder. He still remembered the coldness of the rain that made him shivered as he only felt numbness and straining pain. ‘Faith has it’s ways’ he thought right before the car hit him while he was crossing the street to get back home, that day. At the moment, the only thing he could remember was his promise he made to himself. And even today while he was threading his fingers through the warm grass, he still thought it was ironic.
The consequences of his accident have been almost miraculous considering he should have died. Beomgyu had still tried to blame himself for the accident, saying he wasn’t there that day to protect him like Yeonjun always had, even though he had nothing to do with any of the events that had occurred back then. Once again, Yeonjun didn’t listen to his best friend wild guessing and train of thoughts, especially when it was self-blame.
He also couldn’t seem to forget the excruciating emotional pain he felt when he first couldn’t recognize his best friend’s face, once he gained consciousness. If it wasn’t for his unforgettable soft voice, he would have thought he was a mere stranger. It was that day, December 5th of 2014, on his hospital bed, that he learned he had prosopagnosia.
“You can’t recognize or discern faces anymore Yeonjunnie.”, his mother had explained with the softest voice. Even though, that also applied to her, he couldn’t forget how she looked that day. After his dad died when he was four, they were closer than ever, along with Taehyung. Even though Yeonjun’s dad wasn’t Taehyung’s, the latter considered him as his father as much as Yeonjun did. That’s why the streaming tears on his mother face as she caressed his repeating “It’s going to be fine baby” like a mantra were inked in his mind forever.
Prosopagnosia, a neurological disease that prevented you from recognizing faces, even from your close ones. It was a case of amnesia that only applied to the face according to the hospital doctor. Everyone was a stranger to him from this point on, himself included.
Now here he was. Five years later. Trying to act as normal as can be, in a completely new environment. His mother was reluctant to let him leave their hometown considering his condition. Beomgyu and Taehyung had to beg her more than once before she agreed to it. She still made sure to call Yeonjun every day since he moved in. Today wasn’t an exception.
He opened an eye as he heard his phone ring. Bad Boy from Red Velvet blasting way too loudly for such a calm morning. Sometimes he felt grateful that he didn’t lose his ability to hear in the accident. He didn’t. know what he would have done without music in his life. He picked up his phone that rested on the fresh grass and pressed the ‘answer’ button.
“Hey mum — before you ask, yes I am fine, and yes Taehyung is taking great care of me”, he chuckled. He knew his mother way too much.
She snorted in response, sounding almost tired “Am I getting repetitive, hun?” She asked quietly. “I’m just worried; you know, you’re the love of my life, and I want you to be alright. Especially on your first day in college. I miss you, Junnie.”
“I know mom, I’m just messing with you. It’s completely fine”, he reassured her fondly, “I miss you too.” he muttered.
More than anyone, he missed his mother’s face. When his dad passed away, Taehyung and Yeonjun did everything to help her. Fortunately, her job allowed them to be stable financially, but it couldn’t compensate for the emotional scars.
Later on, when his older brother left for college, it had become a second nature for him to take care of her, no matter how. That’s why his accident also took a toll on him because he missed recognizing his mother’s smile instantly, even across an ocean of faces.
“I’m a little stressed to be honest mom.” That was one of the reasons he woke up early. He feared his first day, even though it was at his dream school. “You know I have trouble making friends. Except for Beomgyu. Although I feel like at this point, he’s more like your other son than my best friends.” He chuckled to distract her from his first confession.
His mother laughed lightly before exhaling softly. She tended to do this when she was worried for her son. He also knew it meant that she was there for him, at any time of the day.
“Well baby, you must be the bravest person that I know, so I know you’re going to get by just fine,” She said fondly, “And if you don’t—“
“— I have Taehyung’s, Beomgyu’s, and your phone number on speed dial. I know mom.” He cut her again. She loved to remind him that he had them in his life. His condition had caused a lot of panic attacks due to nervousness mostly, to the point he sometimes didn’t dare talking to anyone else but Beomgyu and some teachers, at school. That’s why college was a new challenge, way out of his comfort zone.
His mother said last words of encouragement before he hung up because he had to get ready for the day. He took a deep breath of the fresh air, before he got up on his feet.
It was the start of something new.
***
He was late.
The start of something new was delayed, because he was late.
He took so much time choosing what he was going to wear. It was way harder than what he had anticipated, he didn’t have the comfort of wearing an uniform anymore. At the end, he simply chose a sky blue oversized hoodie, his favorite ripped jeans and his signature black converse.
He was rocking his casual look at least. “Ready to blend in the crowd” as Taehyung put it, while amusingly watching his baby brother attempt to put his shoes and brush his teeth at the same time.
Well, that “blend in” plan had backfired when he barged late into his first period — music theory — silencing the whole class by doing so.
Great, now the attention was right where he didn’t need it to be: On him.
The fact that he had before him hundreds of looks of people he would never — or hardly — be able to remember still bothered him a little bit, but he didn’t let it show. At least the class hadn’t started yet, so that was that.
He fast paced to the stairs on the side of the auditorium, to climb them up as discretely as possible. Fortunately, the students already started ignoring him to keep of talking between each other.
Well, all of them except for one.
He could feel a gaze on him. It belonged to a dark brown-haired boy. The more Yeonjun climbed up the stairs the more he could feel the insisting gaze. It made him a little bit uncomfortable. He decided to throw a glance towards the boy to make him uncomfortable too, because sometimes it used to work while he was in the bus, back home.
The look had to be quick but also had to convey a strong ‘You’re making me uncomfortable, please stop’ feel to it.
A Bulletproof plan, indeed.
What he hadn’t anticipated was the soft looking face that accompanied the dark orbs that were scrutinizing Yeonjun. He looked quite tall too, even while being seated, and that spoke a lot because Yeonjun himself wasn’t all that small.
Yeonjun didn’t know why he bothered to notice his features when he knew that he wouldn’t be able to recognize them later on. He would never be able to remember the boy’s cute face anyways. So, he kept climbing the stairs to the highest row of the auditorium, way at the back of the class.
The boy kept looking at him, even after their look crossed. He lowered his gaze, the floor being a better option to look at, he passed the boy’s row.
He sat himself in the last seat at the end of the row and took his pen and notebook out of his bag. The teacher didn’t seem to come soon according to one of the students that was located a few seats below him. He took out his phone to text Beomgyu to pass the time.
To : Beomie
Class hasn’t started yet
I’m bored
Entertain me, Bamgyu
From : Beomie
Okay first of all, hello to you too
You ungrateful brat
Second of all, how is it there?
I won’t ask how are the people because you’ll probably describe me twice the same person lmao
Yeonjun snorted at his best friend’s teasing. After his accident he was worried that their friendship would be strained and shift into some pity show, but of course that wouldn’t have cut it for Choi Beomgyu. They quickly fell back into their playful banter after Yeonjun came back from his time in the hospital to train his legs back to health. He really was grateful for his best friend.
To : Beomie
Hahaha... So funny
you dumbass
I’m okay for now, i got here five minutes ago, so everything is fine
(Dont worry)
A tall man in a blue shirt and a tie — the teacher, he guessed — came into the room in a rush, sweating.
“Sorry guys, there was so much traffic. We’re going to start in a few minutes.” He quickly said while installing his computer by connecting it to the class’ projector.
Yeonjun decided to turn off his phone to focus on the class. He sent a last ‘talk to you at lunch’ text to Beomgyu before slipping the device in his bag.
“Hello guys, I’m your music theory teacher Kim Namjoon. You can call me Professor Kim. Again, I am so sorry that I made you wait, I’ll make sure to not let it happen anymore. Anyways, let’s have a great year together, full of essays and old music related stuff! “He exclaimed enthusiastically. The silence in the room following the teacher’s word made Yeonjun crack up. He loved unfunny jokes.
Apparently, he wasn’t the only one finding it funny, because someone else below his row was laughing along. He couldn’t know who it was, obviously. Maybe it was the boy who looked at him before, if the dark brown hair was a telltale. But again, there seemed to be a couple of people having the same died brown hair as the boy from earlier.
The silence dragged a little bit too long before Professor Kim cleared his throat awkwardly. He still made sure to throw a grateful look towards Yeonjun, probably to thank him for laughing at his joke.
Yeonjun completely understood the feeling of nobody laughing at your jokes. He loved to throw some dad jokes, especially to Beomgyu to annoy him.
(“Hey Beomgyu, what do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?” Yeonjun snickered.
“Do I want to know?” His best friend asked exasperatedly.
“Just guess please...” He stopped himself to take a deep breath Just guess, I swear it’s a good one”
He sighed, “I don’t know, just tell me so we can move on”
“You’re no fun” Yeonjun pouted. “Anyways, you call him irrelephant” Then he exploded in laughter for the next fifteen minutes, Beomgyu watching him sternly and questioning their whole friendship.
*Ten minutes later*
“Hey Beomie I got another one”
“Please stop”
“How does the penguin build its house?”
“I don’t know and I don’t care—“
“—Igloos it together” Wheezing was all you could hear for the next ten minutes. Meanwhile, Beomgyu was this close to leave his house, but he still had their project to finish.
He should have left.
“Yo, Beombble Bee, what’s the—“
“—No. I’m done. We’re done. Goodbye.”
“Wait, it’s a good one tho—“ )
Class passed fast after the teacher arrived. When he dismissed them four hours later, Yeonjun waited for most of the students to leave. He slowly cleared his small desk, waiting for the mass to filter out of the auditorium, only leaving him and his teacher in the vast room.
He climbed down the stairs to get his lunch before heading to his composing class. But his teacher caught his attention.
“Hello, are you Choi Yeonjun?”
That caught him off guard. It’s always scary when things like this happens. Having his disease meant that he met people, introducing themselves to him, but also that he’ll never be able to remember them if it wasn’t for some kind of tale tell. A lot of awkward situations happened because of this, especially with people in his school. That’s why he ended up only having Beomgyu as a true friend in the rest of his school life.
A lot of his school friends — although you could doubt that title — didn’t believe him when he attempted to explain his disease. Even with Beomgyu confirming it, some of them just thought he was inventing a condition to ignore them, or to play a prank on them. At first Yeonjun was really hurt by their reaction, although granted, this condition was quite rare. The few people that actually believed him made fun of him by pulling “jokes” on him. Some strangers, friends with those people, would pretend to know him, and as Yeonjun just started to accept his disease, he would try his best to act normal, so he would act like he knew who it was. All that to hear the snickers of his classmates, casual using ableist slurs to call him and such as. Some of the jokes turned into plain bullying, and that just enhanced his panic attacks.
He still remembered his family reaction the first time the “jokes” happened.
( “Not only is it not funny at all, but it’s so immature, I can’t believe they would do such things when you’ve known them for years. Really it’s—“
“Mom, it’s fine... I’m okay. I didn’t get hurt or anything so everything is okay” He tried to reassure her. Of course, everything wasn’t fine but he wouldn’t let it show to his family.
“I sure hope you didn’t get hurt. If they had so much as touched you, I would have made them regret being born” His brother hissed. After Yeonjun’s accident he became overprotective, and apparently this situation only proved to them why they had to be.
“ Tae, no need to react like that, like I said nothing happened. I just pity them for doing pranks like that. It’s even worse than my lame jokes. And you all know how bad those are.” He attempted to change the subject. He always tried to do that, to calm his family down.
It worked as planned, his mother chuckling lightly “Nothing is worse than your jokes love. Beomie can testify of that, right?” And soon, his loved ones started to reminisce his worse jokes, forgetting the matter.
He sighed in relief internally. It had been a long day and he didn’t want to remember how awfully betrayed he felt when he found out that it was some prank to mock his condition. Even though he smiled to his family that night, he couldn’t help but cry himself to sleep that night.)
Since then he had moved on, and came to learn that he didn’t have time to waste with people like this. That the acceptance stage took a long time to come, and it didn’t came without pain and tears, and if he was being honest he still feared stuff like that happening to him.
Well now he’s in college. In principle people are more mature. He hopes so, at least.
He quickly snapped our of his daze to his teacher that looked at him with a small unsure smile. Yeonjun hoped he didn’t encountered him before. That would be a hard situation to get by.
“Yes, sorry for spacing out, I- I’m Choi Yeonjun, music composition major” he answered quickly to catch up for what must have been an awkward silence.
“Yes I know, actually I wanted to tell you in private. I am friend with your brother Taehyung. He told me to ‘take care of you and report if anything happens to you’” he imitated Taehyung with a deep voice.
Well, that was a suprise.
Not the ‘protect my brother’ or the ‘report’ part, because it was quite Taehyung-like to say such things. But still, it made him feel uneasy to know that his teacher would there to watch him.
The professor must have caught the unease because he frantically waved his hands to reassure Yeonjun “Know that I am aware of how much your brother care for you. Maybe to some excess sometimes if I’m not mistaking” He chucked to himself.
Yeonjun couldn’t blame him. Although it didn’t really bother him at the time, at some point Taehyung wanted to take him to school and even hold hands to ‘chase the bullies away from his precious brother’. Yeonjun had to involve their mother in the matter, before his brother reluctantly agreed not to go along with his plan. And that wasn’t even in the top Ten craziest things Taehyung attempted to do to protect his brother. Yeonjun couldn’t really complain because it was just what they did in their family.
Still, turning his teacher into a spy was a stretch.
“He told me about your condition and— No need to panic, it’ll remain a secret well kept.” He said in rush after Yeonjun’s eyes tripled in size in a span of seconds.
“I wanted you to know that although your brother is one of my closest friend, I’ll never overstep my boundaries. Thus, if I do catch a behavior out of norm concerning you, I’ll make sure to check with you if it is okay to warn your brother. I can only imagine how tough having this condition must be, adding your brother overbearing worry won’t do any good, I think” He finished with a sad smile.
Yeonjun was grateful for his teacher’s decision. He loved his brother but he wanted to be free of his protectivness now that he was in college. Having professor Kim of his side would be great help.
“Thank you so much Professor. I also think your decision is for the best... For my sake, at least” He bowed gratefully, to what his teacher smiled softly.
“You are welcome Yeonjun. The only thing I am asking from you is to not hesitate to tell me if anything happens to you— If you feel comfortable enough to inform me of course. I am, as they say, all ears.” The professor grinned before he turned around to erase the words he wrote on the big black board during class.
“ Yes, I’ll make sure to do so. I have to go now, but thank you again Professor” he said again. This little meeting had left him less time to eat, or even find where places to eat near campus are.
He bowed his teacher goodbye one last time, to which the latter answered with a simple dimpled smile.
By the time he left the auditorium, the campus street was almost empty except for the few students in the garden just across the building he had class in.
He took out his phone out of his bag to Google map some restaurant or fast food nearby his next class. As soon as he turned it on he recieved a thread of messages. One from his brother and mother in their family group chat wishing good luck again for his first day and of how much he grew up. The other ones were from Beomgyu talking about random things and about a new student named Kang Taehyun that was ‘ so cute he could die’, and to call him when he had time.
Yeonjun called his best friend while walking toward the barbecue restaurant he finally found near his composition class’ building. He answered right away.
“Hey Junnie, so how was the first class in the dream school?” His best friends asked enthusiastically. It was his and Beomgyu’s dream to go in this university together. Thats why he wanted to join Yeonjun the next year when he’ll be done with high school. Even though they were two years apart, Yeonjun had to re-do his second year of middle school because of the time spent at the hospital. If one good thing came out of this whole accident was that they could get together in college sooner. Plus, Yeonjun knew that his best friend would go in SNU without an itch, being the best in their school year since he could remember.
Yeonjun proceeded to tell him about the first part of his day, not leaving any details. He mentioned the boy and emphasized on how weird that staring contest was.
“Well can we really call it a staring contest if you asked for it — and lost it, need I remind you. Also how cute was tall brown haired guy on a scale from ‘aww’ to ‘holy fucking shit’” He asked eagerly.
“Okay, first of all, screw you. Second of all, It doesn’t matter if he was cute or not, I won’t remember him even if I met him again right now.” He added. he tried to hide the sadness and tinge of pity for himself, but his best friend knew it too well.
“Hey, of course it matters if he’s cute” Beomgyu quickly fired back trying to light up the sour mood, “You can recognize some details about him. And, again need i remind you, he noticed your ugly self so it doesn’t matter if he’s cute or not, date him. That’ll probably be the best you can do” he exclaimed in a teasing tone.
Yeonjun rolled his eyes playfully at his friend’s answer. “Not everyone has low standards like you Beomie. Also you know I’m pansexual so his looks are at the end of my priority.” He replied while finally walking toward the barbecue restaurant, also founding his music composition building.
“By the way, tell me about your own cute new student you met today,” he whispered teasingly before bowing hello to the ajhumma that greeted him as he entered the restaurant.
He asked a table for one, she guided him toward a table next to the window giving a view on the street. The table was far enough from the rest of the restaurant so that he could keep his phone conversation without bothering anyone.
He ordered some tteokbokki and samgyeopsal, the waitress giving him the coke he asked for earlier. Beomgyu had already told him all about his newfound crush — although Beomgyu had crushes every other week.
The food arrived, served by what he assumed was the same waitress, noticing her messy bun that was dangerously balancing with only a pencil. He was oblige to notice those kind of stuff if he wanted to seem normal to the people around him that didn’t know he was prosopagnosic. Things such as a beard, earrings, hair color that weren’t the standard black and brown, or even specific clothes and accessories cwere really helpful to recognize people around him.
As soon as they understood that, his family and Beomgyu made sure to change few things to make life easier for him, although their voices were more than enough for him to know instantly it was them. Taehyung had gotten his ear pierced multiple times, wearing the same earring dangling shinily, day and night. He also had his hair dyed blond, along with Beomgyu - though he knew that the latter used him as an excuse to dye it because his mother would have never agreed otherwise.
(“Who knew something good would come out of your accident, huh” Beomgyu said while admiring his hair through Yeonjun’s hospital room’s mirror.
Yeonjun snorted tiredly, he was really exhausted that day but Beomgyu’s visit had made him so happy that he tried to fight sleep. “Please shut up, you prick.”
Beomgyu gasped dramatically, then smirked evilly. “You’re just jealous of my hair, I won’t hold it against you. This time. Be grateful” he said solemnly.
“Jealous of your yellow coconut head? No thank you I’m fine being myself.“ Yeonjun fired back with a witty smirk”
“Oh screw yo—“)
His best friend was still talking his ear off about his new crush, before he took notice of Yeonjun’s silence. He paused his rant before he started speaking again cautiously.
“Why so silent, Junnie? Something else happened?” Yeonjun could here the badly hidden worry in his best friend’s voice. He quickly snapped our of his stupor and cleared his voice.
“I’m fine Gyu, I just miss you, that’s all” He muttered the last part. He knew the teasing was going to come. But all he heard was silence.
“... I miss you too you idiot,” complained quietly. “Now that you are gone, I’m kind of alone. And since I’m not going to speak to those snakes in our class, it doesnt leave me with a lot of choices. Fortunately I met Taehyun” he sighed seemingly in a daydream, and Yeonjun knew that there were no way he could get his best friend out of it.
“Although I love how you directed our emotional moment like that. I think i’m going to get going, my class is going to start in twenty minutes anyways.” He explained. He had already finished his meal and paid for it. If he wanted to take a seat where he would like, he’ll have to go there soon enough.
As he got up from his chair to exit the restaurant, he didn’t notice one of the waiter walking next to him holding a plate with drinks on it.
All he heard was glass crashing on the floor and gasps. They collided together leaving them on the floor. He took notice of the boy in front of him, trying to sort himself and the situation without accidentally cutting himself with some glass shards.
Yeonjun tried to get up, pushing himself off the floor, but the waiter raised in hand in halt. “Don’t move a muscle, or you’re going to hurt yourself” He yelped pressingly. Yeonjun did just what the waiter had demanded and stayed put.
The waiter got up on his feet without using his hand - which was quite impressive as he did it so fluidly, maybe was he a dancer? He then went backdoor to take a broom and expertly sweep away the shards around Yeonjun.
When he was done Yeonjun got up, spilling apologies after apologies, insisting to pay back what he had broken. But the waiter simply smiled reassuringly.
“Don’t worry, if anything it was both our faults so no need to apologize so much. Plus we didn’t get hurt so no worries, right?” The waiter smiled. Yeonjun took notice of his eye smile and small mole just underneath his left eye; he also had loads of earrings on both of his ears, which reminded him of his brother. That’s why Yeonjun took his guard down and released a sigh.
“I still want to apologize, i probably got you in trouble.” He patted his wallet to check inside if he could pay back. Unfortunately, he had just given a big part of the money he had brought for the day and didn’t had enough left for the bottle of drinks he had broken.
He sighed stressfully, he knew the situation wasn’t all that dramatic, but it still stressed him out, “Excuse me again, but I dont have any money right now. Bu-But I can leave my number so that I can pay you back. Tomorrow or even tonight... Or I can take the bus as soon as I am done with my after class. Or I can—“ He stopped himself when he realized he was rambling a little bit too much. The waiter was just looking at him with a pity smile at that point, probably understand how much of a mess Yeonjun was.
“Okay, please calm down. I can get your phone number, so that you can pay me back like half of the drink’s worth — which were two cokes, so almost nothing. I’m Hwang Hyunjin by the way.” He introduced himself, still smiling. Actually he overall like quite joyful.
Yeonjun sighed in relief, then smiled shyly. Why did he always had to put himself into this kind of embarrassing situations? His hoodie was now drenched in coke, and he didn’t enjoy the sticky feeling.
Hyunjin must have took notice of it because he suddenly raised his finger, silently asking Yeonjun to wait a second. He went through backdoor of the restaurant, then emerged back with a grey sweater that seemed big, even in Hyunjin’s big hands.
“Here, please take this. It may be a little big on you but at least you’ll avoid walking all day with a sticky hoodie.” The latter held the sweater towards Yeonjun. He took it hesitantly, not knowing if it was appropriate or not. It was after looking at the time that he decided to take the hoodie, sending a grateful smile to Hyunjin.
“You’re a life savior, thank you so much. I’m Yeonjun,” he introduced himself, “I’ll leave you my number, so that I can give you the hoodie back, tonight. When do you end your shift?” He quickly took off his hoodie and put the sweater on and he was right, he drown in the peace of clothe.
“It ends at 10PM. So you can come back around that time, if not, you can come back tomorrow, it’s really no issue.” Hyunjin smiled as they exchanged numbers.
Yeonjun hummed, “I rather come back tonight, I’ll give you a call ehen I’ll be there. My classes end around that time so it will be no trouble. I really have to go now.” Yeonjun tried to focus on the other boy’s features and traits so that he could recognize him the best way possible later on. He waved Hyunjin goodbye before exiting the restaurant when the waiter waved him back.
He smiled while fast-walking towards his music composition class. If all people were as nice as Hyunjin was to him, maybe college won’t be as painful as he feared.
***
His music composition class had finished two hours after 2PM. He then directly went to his music producing class that lasted three hours. When he learned that his Monday would be so busy, he couldn’t help but complain about it to his best friend. To which the latter had nicely told him to stop being a whiny baby because according to him ‘He was getting out of this hell hole of a town, while himself was still stuck here for an entire year’ before telling him to shut up. To this day Yeonjun was still offended of how quick Beomgyu had dismissed him.
His last class finishing around 7PM, he decided to go to the library and start working on his first music composition assignment. He was surprised he was given an assignment on the first day, but he guessed that that was what college was about. So he came to library, to not be one of those students always overbooked with assignments. Naturally the place was completely empty, because who went to the library on the first day back to college, right?
Yeonjun greeted the woman at the desk that was located at the entry of the building, and took a seat in one of the table that were in the far back of the library. He started working right away to not waste time, after sending a quick text to his brother to inform him of his whereabouts. Taehyung texted him back few minutes after telling him he was already home and to be careful when he’ll get home. Yeonjun was surprised his brother didn’t get worried more than that, but it was a fresh new feeling. Maybe Taehyung started to see him more as an adult — although asking his teacher to practically spy on him wasn’t indicating that evolution, but he won’t comment the matter.
He was making progress on his essay, already creating a detailed draft of it. He loved to write music so writing essays wasn’t as painful as it was for others. He kept writing on his notebook while taking information from the school book — book he had paid way too much for by the way. The library still seemed empty when he last looked up from his homework.
That’s why he was startled when he heard a throat clearing behind him. His head snapped towards the sound, thinking it would be the librarian but it didn’t seem to be a woman.
“Can I seat here?” A boy whispered while pointing at the seat right in front of him. Yeonjun blinked at him twice, before nodding quietly, a polite smile adorning his face. He couldn’t help but ask himself why the boy wanted to seat in front of him when the entire library was empty.
Some people are just weird like that, he thought.
The boy quietly pulled the chair and put his bag on the table to take out his computer and some book. He had the same school book as Yeonjun, he noticed.
He didn’t ponder about it for long, he still had an assignment to work on after all, and an hour had already passed. Yeonjun focused back on his task not raising his head again. Both of the boys worked quietly, occasional sighs and deep breaths being the only sounds you could here in the silence of the library.
In what seemed to be no time, it was already 8:40PM. If he wanted to meet Hyunjin when his shift ended he had to leave the building now. Well, at least he had finished what he’d planned for the day, and could go home to relax, or maybe call Beomgyu again. He cleared his workspace and quietly got up to walk towards the exit.
But before he could walk away he heard a whisper shout that stopped him immediately.
“Hey, wait!”
Yeonjun turned around to look at the same boy from earlier — boy who didn’t know the definition of personal space because he had already walked around the table and was only few inches close to Yeonjun. Yeonjun looked up because Unknown Boy standing before him was actually quite tall. He looked at him with a smile, and dimple suddenly appeared.
Yeonjun was awestruck by the deepness of those dimples. He could drink his milk and cereal out of those dimples, he could poke those dimples and loose his finger in the process. He could shout in the boy’s smiling face and an echo would be created just because, holy shit, how deep were those dimples. Those dimples should be illegal.
Maybe had stared for too long, because the boy looked mildly uncomfortable under Yeonjun’s stare.
Get it together and actually speak. He wouldn’t want to scare the dimp— the boy away.
“Hi, hello, yes? You wanted to say something to me?” He stuttered. Wow, he was becoming a mess right now. But the boy recovered from his obvious uncomfortableness and smiled awkwardly.
“Yes, hum, it seems you took my book instead of your own...” And indeed, he was holding Yeonjun’s book. He recognized it easily because Beomgyu had drawn a tiger on the cover of the book the day Yeonjun had bought it — he had wanted to kill his best friend that day when the only excuse he could give him was ‘So that you can remember me, because you can’t even remember my face’.
Speaking of faces the boy was still looking at Yeonjun expectantly. The latter suddenly realized it was because he wanted his own book back. So, he clumsily took his backpack to get the boy’s book. In his rush, he dropped his phone.
Way to make a fool out yourself, he scolded himself.
As he went on his knees to pick up his phone, Unknown Boy had the same idea. Their hands touched in the process. That’s when Yeonjun felt it.
He withdrew his hand quickly because of how sweaty the boy’s palms were.
It wasn’t your regular kind of sweaty palm, it was the ‘I just took washed my hands with my sweat and i didn’t have a towel to dry them’ kind of sweaty palm. Yeonjun wasn’t so much disgusted as he was surprised by them. It was a sign of nervousness or anxiety, most of the time and well the situation didn’t seem all that stressful to Yeonjun. But who was he to evaluate how stressful a situation could be for someone who wasn’t himself, right?
He looked up and noticed how awkward the smile of the boy was. He must have thought that Yeonjun was judging him for withdrawing his hand as soon as he came in contact with his sit. He decided to change the subject before the boy in front of him melted in embarrassment. The said boy handed him his phone, which was a little wet, from the sweat, and he winced because it seemed that everyone was aware.
“Thank you for the phone, and here’s your book,” He handed the book from as he smiled his brightest smile to reassure the guy, although he didn’t really understood why he wanted to. Maybe it was because Yeonjun himself could be an awkward mess. Case and point with the accident at the barbecue restaurant earlier that day.
He suddenly remembered he had to be in the said place in less than ten minutes, if he didn’t want to make Hyunjin wait. He took his book that the boy had dropped when he tried to pick Yeonjun’s phone, and smiled one last time at the boy who seemed awestruck by it.
“Ca- Can I know your name?” Unknown Boy asked. He oddly looked like their family’s dog Yeontan while asking that, so naturally he felt endeared by the boy’s look. Yeonjun didn’t know why the boy’s features looked familiar, maybe he met him before, but he felt like he had to comply to the boy’s demand.
“I’m Yeonjun” he said softly, and it wasn’t because of the fact he was in a library. Looking at this boy soothed him in an unexplainable way, “And I really have to go now, I-I’m sorry.” He got up with his bag and fast walk towards the exit.
It was when he was crossing the street he remembered he didn’t ask the boy’s name in return.
***
He arrived at the restaurant around 9 past 5. The barbecue place was still full of life, students filling themselves with cooked meat and maybe too much soju. The waiters seemed to be busy as ever, zooming between the tables to take care of all of the costumers. That’s when Yeonjun realized he didn’t think this through. All the effort he had made earlier to remember Hyunjin’s features were pointless, he couldn’t remember them anymore. He tried to rack his brain for something — anything, really — to remember.
Five minutes later, he gave up and decided to just call the waiter. He clicked on the contact name and waited while the ringing sound resonated in his ears. After five rings, it stopped and Hyunjin finally picked up.
“Yeonjun, hey, I’ve just finished. Are you there yet? Can you wait for me at the back of the restaurant please?” The boy spilled the words fast, as if he was in a rush.
Yeonjun nodded “Yeah sure, I’m here and I’ll wait for you.” He then proceeded to walk towards the back of building. While doing that he pulled out the money he had withdrawn from his emergency credit card. He felt stupid to use it for this incident when it was meant to be used in case of serious emergencies, but he didn’t have any other options.
The narrow path that lead him to the back of the restaurant was dark because of the lack of lighting. While walking he noticed two people standing next to the big trash that was located right next to what seem to be the backdoor of the restaurant. Yeonjun hesitantly approached them, because their backs was turned to him. Still, both of their hair were dark brown — like Hyunjin, he now remembered — so maybe one of them was the waiter waiting for him.
He cleared his throat so that they could take notice of his presence. Both of them quickly turned around in a startle and the only light that was lightning the door wasn’t strong enough to show either of their features. Yeonjun had no idea who those gyus were, but he couldn’t risk offending Hyunjin by not recognizing him, if it was indeed him. That situation happened way too many times and it ended ugly every time.
“Uh, hey, how was your day? I have the hoodie and the money for you” Yeonjun spluttered nervously. Both of the boys before him had no reaction — not that Yeonjun could see it because of how dark the alley was. After what seemed to be a full minute of silence, Yeonjun started to freak out a little; clearly he had the wrong person and now he had just made them uncomfortable. He had an apology on the tip of his tongue, before the boys bursted in laughters.
Yeonjun was just a mess at this point, he wanted to get out of this and go home to call his mother and ask her to bring him back to their hometown.
“I’m so sorry. I’m just— did you really mislead us for Hyunjin? I mean it’s flattering and everything but are you blind?” One of them asked as they kept laughing. He couldn’t help himself from watching them sternly. He didn’t know them, and it could come across as rude to just glower at them the way he was starting to, but that’s how the bullying started in his high school . And although he knew that this situation was far from how things were back then, he still had no time for that.
“No, I am not blind, and I’m sorry if I got it wrong but as you understood it, I’m looking for Hwang Hyunjin. So can we please save ourselves some time and energy and maybe you could call him for me. That would be really nice of you” he sighed the last part. He really wanted to go home.
Both boys recovered from their laughing session when they saw Yeonjun’s expression after one of them made that little joke. His sour expression made them sober up quickly before the blond boy that made the jokes cleared his throat.
“Yeah, sorry. It was a just a joke, anyways I’ll go get him for you” he was going to walk towards the backdoor but someone already got out.
The mole under the left eye and the earring. Yeonjun’s body sagged in relief because thank god that was Hyunjin.
The latter walked toward him, smiling in recognition, not before ushering the unnamed boys back in the restaurant, leaving them alone it the alley.
After he made sure his coworkers were back inside he turned around and it was most certainly Hyunjin, because his eye smile was full on.
“Hey, excuse my friends. I dont even know what they said to you but I feel like it’s worth apologizing for.” The waiter chuckled.
“No it’s okay. I just had a long day so I got a little bit snappy but they didn’t do or say anything wrong really,” Yeonjun smiled sheepishly while rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
“Anyways, here is your sweater and the money. And before you say anything, please accept it, I would feel better, really”
Yeonjun insisted, to what Hyunjin eyes narrowed. It was like he tried to analyze the former’s motives. To figure him out. Few seconds later the smile came back full on.
“Well, if you insist, I won’t stop you” The waiter still seemed hesitant to take the money, but couldn’t refuse when Yeonjun forcefully pushed the money into his hands. He then gave him the sweater, a grateful smile on, “Well thank you again, but it’s getting late. I should get going.”
“No problem hyung — can I call you Hyung? You seem older than me.” Hyunjin suddenly asked. Yeonjun nodded, although it was weird for him. The only person that could call him hyung was his best friend and the latter had lost all respect for Yeonjun after seeing him getting his head stuck in a tree, two times in a row, back in primary school.
Adding to that, the fact that he just had met Hyunjin, it did surprised him a little. Still, he wasn’t going to mention, because the boy had been so nice to him.
“Sure you can” he smiled “I was born in 1999, what about you?”
“Oh I was right then. I’m a 00 liner and a dance major at SNU” he replied excitedly. Hyunjin’s enthusiasm reminded him of Beomgyu, Yeonjun smiled at that. Actually, Hyunjin was someone that was similar to people he loved, in general.
“Anyways, we both must be freshmen then. Would you like to go to a party organized by my friends this Saturday ? From your accent I can guess you’re not from here, but I’m from Seoul, so you could meet my friends, you’re from SNU too right? You must be...“ Hyunjin trailed of.
Yeonjun didn’t really know what to say to this. Hyunjin was being really friendly to him, and the proposition in itself was nice, but parties weren’t his scene. He couldn’t deal with meeting too many people at the same time, because he had to remember too many things to make sure he looked normal.
But that’s the thing though, Yeonjun wasn’t normal.
As he realized that he was going to go into one of his self-pity mode, Hyunjin must have caught his inner conflict.
The waiter waved hastily his hands, “You dont have to say yes hyung, I would understand if you couldn’t come” He tried to reassured the boy before him.
Yeonjun felt even worst now.
Hyujin was trying to include him, and he was refusing it because he was too scared (and a little bit lazy too). He promised Beomgyu and himself he would try to get out of his comfort zone, that he would try to experience college to the fullest, that his disease couldn’t keep him from living anymore.
That’s why he shook his head vehemently, “No don’t worry, I- Yes I’m in SNU and I’ll come to your friends party. I started today and I didn’t had time to make friends yet” He confessed. Hyunjin really was an expressive boy, it seemed, because his smile lighted up the entire alley, his joy noticeable from a mile away.
“Great hyung, so I’ll text you the adresse later, it’s not far from your school anyways. Oh, you can consider we’re friends now, ” The boy explained happily. His willingness to befriend Yeonjun without knowing him made him smile in affection. He really couldn’t say no to the boy’s invitation now.
“And you have to go, it’s getting late now, should I call you a cab?” Before Yeonjun could refuse he cut himself, “I mean I’m a broke student so never mind, sorry hyung but I need food to survive” he smiled deviously. At this moment, he knew he would get along great with Hyunjin.
“Okay now,” Yeonjun chuckled while waving goodbye to the younger boy. “I’ll get going, maybe I’ll come back to the restaurant so I’ll see you then if you have a shift at that time.” Hyunjin hastily nodded as he waved back saying goodbye to him.
Yeonjun turned around to go back on the main street where the front sign of the restaurant was glowing brightly. He watched the time and gasp at how long his little meeting with Hyunjin had lasted. It was already close to 9:30PM and the way to his brother’s home was quite a walk. He had to hurry up before his hyung blew up his phone with worried texts.
He glanced at his phone one last time before starting to walk home. Hopefully he would be there soon.
***
He didn’t anticipate how dark the streets were going to be, and he was a little scared now.
The streets were only lightened by the occasional street pole, and it wasn’t enough to reassure Yeonjun for his safety. Even his phone light had emptied his battery and he was now without any way to communicate his distress to Beomgyu or location to his brother.
And god, Yeonjun thought of how Taehyung was going to worry his heart’s out when he’ll try to reach him and the call will directly go on voicemail. Theorically, Yeonjun knew he was being paranoid for nothing, the way back home wasn’t th most dangerous one, and he could defend himself if need be; but try to be logical when you had Kim Taehyung as your brother. He still remembered how the said boy demanded their mother to make Yeonjun wear a safety hat to school, ‘just to be safe’.
Yeonjun chuckled at the memory of his mother’s reaction, the small but sharp slapping sound that Taehyung received to calm him down still resonating in his mind.
He must have been too distracted by his thoughts because he didn’t notice the man behind him.
“Hey cutie, come here for a minute, would you?” The man said. The strong alcohol smell just confirmed Yeonjun’s assumption about the current state he was in. Answering would put him in risks, so Yeonjun ignored him and kept walking (a little faster) to his house.
Apparently the lack of answer pissed the drunk man off because he started to wobble even faster towards Yeonjun’s direction.
“Hey, I’m speaking to you, you bitch” the man spat.
And, wow, Yeonjun was really scared, mostly because he didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t the fastest runner; if the guy caught up to him he would put himself into way too much trouble. He considered stopping to face the drunk guy, but he did realize it would come with consequences too.
Suddenly he felt a hand gripping his wrist. The drunk man was now a few inches close to him, and Yeonjun just froze.
“I told you to come here, pretty boy” the man slurred with an disgustingly evil smile.
Yeonjun was ready to pass out from fright.
He tried to pull his wrist away but the hold of the man was far too strong to allow him to do so.
How did he get himself in this situation again?
How could he be in this position once again, feeling completely weak and powerless?
He could feel the tears coming from the nervousness and of how scared he felt. He had to get out of this situation right away, he thought.
“Let go of me right now” He ordered with fake confidence. The man must have sense his fright because he laughed at him loudly. Yeonjun tried to use this moment of distraction to get out of the man’s death grip and run, but as soon as he tried to do so the man threw him against a wall.
Yeonjun’s head hit the hard brick wall and dizziness gained him right away. His head was still fragile from the accident — even years after it —, he had to be careful not to bump it too hard because he would have vertigos quickly.
The blow to his head and the blinding pain he felt from just confirmed his doctor’s words about his health. It was so unbearable that it kept him from moving away from the man’s rough kicks to his stomach.
He tried to protect his head the best way he could. He would nonetheless still hear the “You did this to yourself you fucker” from the man, and all Yeonjun could think about was ‘Is this really happening?’
Suddenly the jab to his chest and stomach stopped but Yeonjun was already having a panic attack by this time. He couldn’t raise his head to know why did the man stop.
He heard some noises and what seemed to be a moan of pain, but he wasn’t sure because he was starting to hyperventilate, the pain to his head didn’t help.
He couldn’t breath normally anymore, and he thought of ways to calm himself because that couldn’t be it. He didn’t lost his father, almost died himself, spent six months at the hospital, made his family and friend’s whole life and choices, just to die like that.
He had to fight back.
He knew trying to regulate his breathing was nearly impossible all by himself, but he used the ridiculous amount of focus he had left despite his dizziness and attempted to calm himself.
He thought of the few people in his life that made him calm no matter what and somehow it worked little by little. The pain to his stomach and head was still jarring but he started to breathe a little more normally, but still couldn’t here anything. He had to lie down on his side to not choke with his own tongue, he remembered.
He slowly turned around and that’s when he noticed someone else was there and was speaking to him. Fortunately it wasn’t the drunk man, it was someone younger it seemed. His vision wasn’t the best at the moment.
“Oh my god, Yeonjun” The person spoke frantically.
Yeonjun was feeling too many things at the same time to even attempt to recognize who this person — that apparently knew him — was. He grunted and spluttered in response. He was still trying to calm his breathing, and the movement to lay his body on it’s side pressed his head where it had hit the wall. He clutched his head to ease the pain in some way. He felt hot liquid coming out of the wound.
The person must have caught how Yeonjun couldn’t possibly respond at the moment and it seemed to made him panick even more. Yeonjun could see the worry in the person’s — boy he thought — eyes and frankly he was in too much pain to notice anything else.
Eventually, he calmed his breathing. His eyes were still glued on the boy in front of him that now seemed to be on a phone call, hopefully to call an ambulance. His breathing was back to normal by the end of the call, but that’s when the pain due to the blows to his stomach and chest manifested itself.
He couldn’t feel anything anymore and soon dark spot was all he could see, his vision already blurred by the spilling tears.
The boy was now hovering over him, “An ambulance is coming, you have to stay awake, you’re bleeding. Please stay awa—“
That’s all Yeonjun heard before darkness took over him.