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Chapter Text

Wei Ying is famous in school. For various reasons, depending on the individual—good looks, intellect, even delinquency—but there is a common denominator, an antic of his that everyone, without fail, knows. All talks about him, each mention of his name, always end up in the one and same conclusion: he dates one girl each week.

It’s not a rumor; it’s the truth. Every Monday, girls from any batch would race to be the first one to confess to him, and, somehow, he never rejects any of them. They would be a couple, only for him to dump her on the last day of the week.

Let’s end this. I can’t fall in love with you.

His words are always the same. The girls he’s dated before are always hopeful to not hear those same two sentences, but by far, Wei Ying really can’t find anyone that gets his heart. It’s not difficult to know that they only want him for his looks. Love cannot blossom when it’s watered by insincerity. Often times, he feels tricked, but continues with the game anyway.

Another Monday comes. It’s only morning. Class is still empty. A few students that arrive too early talk in hushed whispers. Wei Ying ignores them all; he stares out the window from where he sits, blankly staring at the ground below, yawning and rubbing his eyes. His mind only snaps back to reality when he feels pain on his back from being hit.

“Jiang Cheng! That hurts!” he exclaims, wailing and making the other students turn their heads at him. He’s always been terribly loud, which is also another trait that brings him popularity.

“Stop daydreaming,” Jiang Cheng says sternly. “And if you yawn so loudly like that, today might be the first day for you to not receive any confession. It’s seriously a mood-breaker, you know?”

“No one can resist my handsome looks.”

Jiang Cheng laughs. “You really are a scam. The gap between your appearance and personality is like the earth and the sky, and it’s just getting bigger every day. Why? Don’t look at me like that. You know it’s true. You look nice, but the way you act makes you look like you’re unethical.”

“All I did was yawn, Jiang Cheng. Stop calling me out,” Wei Ying frowns, putting his legs up on the desk.

Jiang Cheng’s eyes widen at the view. He pushes Wei Ying’s knees down, to which he yells that Jiang Cheng will be breaking his legs if he uses such force. Knowing that he’s getting nowhere, Wei Ying decides that he has to take drastic measures, “Jiang Cheng! How about I buy you ice cream, but in return, you have to stop being mean to me?”

Jiang Cheng seems to think about it for a second. He crosses his arms and smiles. “Good deal. Go ahead and buy a cone for me.”

“That’s the Jiang Cheng I know.”

Wei Ying goes out to the ice cream cart in front of the school gate. As he is about to make his order, a fancy sports car stops to drop off a boy. He’s very familiar to him, because they are in the same club, and Wei Ying likes to tease him all the time, but they are not close enough to be called friends. Far from it, even.

“Lan Zhan! Good morning,” Wei Ying greets. In return, he gets a stoic ‘mn’. When Lan Zhan sees the ice cream cart, he stops his tracks. “Care for some ice cream?”

“You are,” he speaks. “Wei Ying.”

“That’s me.”

“You are the womanizer from the music club.”

Wei Ying gasps, exaggerating it, though still surprised by the remark. “Is that what they call me?”

“Mn.”

“That’s cruel!”

“What you do is even crueler,” Lan Zhan breaks eye contact, leaving Wei Ying perplexed. That’s definitely the first time someone’s ever said that to him. But, as usual, he entertains each insult with a joke.

“Then, how about you date me?”

Lan Zhan’s face twitches. He furrows his eyebrows, and when he looks at him again, Wei Ying instantly regrets saying it. Lan Zhan looks angry, and he knows too well how scary the quiet ones are when they’re angry. “So that, you know, you can see that I’m actually not that cruel.” He punctuates it with a laugh, then he orders a cone of chocolate from the seller. He waits for Lan Zhan to hit him, or walk away, but he stays.

“Very well,” Lan Zhan says, voice as serious as ever.

“Huh?”

“Let’s date.”

“Wait,” Wei Ying loses his eloquence at once. “You can’t be real.”

“You cannot reject anyone that confesses to you on Monday.”

That’s a checkmate. Wei Ying bites the inside of his cheek. Lan Zhan is saying the truth. And he doesn’t look like he’s joking, either.

“Sir, the money.” Wei Ying’s bubble shatters, and he reaches out to his pocket, but his wallet isn’t there. Panicking, he scrambles through, but it’s not there.

He can hear Lan Zhan sigh. He doesn’t expect him to take money out and pay, though. “Ah, Lan Zhan, I’m really sorry, I’ll pay you back in class.”

Lan Zhan shakes his head. “My treat.” Then he leaves.

Wei Ying screams, “No way! I’ll pay you back!”

On the way to class, he thinks about Lan Zhan’s confession. He’s only dated girls before. What does it take to date a boy? People probably wouldn’t believe him if he says that he’s dating him. In fact, he’s actually also taking what Lan Zhan said as a joke, too. But he doesn’t appear to be a person that jokes around. If he does, then Wei Ying respects him for keeping a serious face at all times, even during jokes.

“You literally left your wallet, you fool,” Jiang Cheng scolds him right when he arrives in class. “How did you get the ice cream? Did you threaten the seller and steal?”

“Don’t antagonize me too much,” Wei Ying gives him the cone. “Lan Zhan paid for it.”

“Lan Zhan? Lan Zhan from the next-door class? You really know no manners, Wei Ying. Don’t you know who he is? For him to pay for you like that, he must be looking down at you,” Jiang Cheng says as he eats the ice cream.

“Nah, I think he’s just being nice.”

“However you choose to see it.”

Wei Ying leaves out the awkward confession part, because he knows that Jiang Cheng will lose his mind if he tells him. That day, classes carry on as usual, and Wei Ying immediately forgets about the whole ‘dating’ business, and even the fact that he still owes Lan Zhan. He suddenly remembers everything again when Lan Zhan appears by the door of his classroom when classes end.

“Well, guess he’s collecting your debt,” Jiang Cheng gestures at Lan Zhan. “And I’m not saving you.” he runs away immediately, nodding to Lan Zhan on the way out, before disappearing, even if Wei Ying shouts at him to wait.

“Lan Zhan, here’s your money.”

“I said it was my treat.”

“Then, why are you here?”

“We should go home together,” with a cool tone and a solemn face, Lan Zhan says. 

“Why?” Wei Ying asks, almost raising his voice. “Um, I’m going home with Jiang Cheng. You know we live in the same house.”

“You and I are a couple,” said still with no readable expression. “Let’s walk home together. It’s what couples do.”

Right, Wei Ying swallows spit. He wasn’t joking. “I—give me some time, won’t you?”

Wei Ying turns his back on him and begins to think. The times where he has to think hard to decide isn’t so common. He’s quite decisive in general, but Lan Zhan has put him into a difficult situation. Dating him doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world. He’s probably the most handsome student in school, he’s smart, he’s a talented guqin player, and he doesn’t ask for payback. But what does it cost?

“All right then,” Wei Ying faces him again and grins. It costs nothing. Maybe a few weird glares, but nothing, all in all.

He thinks he sees Lan Zhan smile.

“Wei Ying—hey, Wei Ying! I’m right here!” Jiang Cheng shouts as they pass him at the gate.

“Jiang Cheng, I’m sorry, but I’ll be walking home with Lan Zhan today,” he tells him. Jiang Cheng looks confused, but Lan Zhan nods. Still confused, he looks again at Wei Ying, who also nods.

“Why? This is new.”

“Well, we are dating, so.”

They don’t wait for Jiang Cheng to react. They walk the other way, and are already walking far enough for Jiang Cheng’s voice to sound blurry.

“Wei Ying, you wretch! I’ll absolutely never forgive you!”

“Wait, don’t you have a car to pick you up, Lan Zhan?”

Lan Zhan glances at him, then simply shakes his head.

“But you were dropped off by a car.”

“I always walk home.”

“Ah! Is that so,” Wei Ying nods. “Well, what do you do for fun?”

Wei Ying is known to be talkative, the people-smart kind, and initiating conversations is his specialty. But with Lan Zhan, he kind of struggles. It’s not Lan Zhan’s fault for being taciturn, but Wei Ying is having a hard time. He always answers in short answers that can’t be questioned anymore, and he doesn’t try to converse either. It’ll be an issue in their relationship, his lack of proper communication skills.

But, at the same time, Lan Zhan doesn’t look bothered, even as Wei Ying starts to rant about how annoying Jiang Cheng is, how much of a typical Asian tiger mom his mother is, and other things that Wei Ying probably doesn’t realize he’s been chattering about.

“This is my turn,” Lan Zhan suddenly speaks again after a long time of silence at his end, pointing at a street.

Wei Ying gives him a pat on the shoulder, “Okay. See you tomorrow.”

Walking with Lan Zhan means taking the far way home, and he only gets home half an hour later. Jiang Cheng is already sitting on the front porch, his face as sour as ever. “Hi, Jiang Cheng,” Wei Ying smiles sheepishly. He isn’t surprised when Jiang Cheng yells at him.

“What the hell do you mean you’re dating Lan Zhan? Are you crazy?” he stops to breathe, then continues, “you don’t know, don’t you? You really don’t know!”

“I know, Jiang Cheng, I do, trust me,” Wei Ying tries to be patient, but it doesn’t seem to calm Jiang Cheng down. “That Lan Zhan. He’s a Lan, isn’t he? A thousand year old family, super rich and all that, and—“

“That’s not what I mean, stupid!”

Wei Ying, “then what do you mean?”

Jiang Cheng walks closer to him, and speaks in a quieter voice, “he likes you. If you claim that you’re dating him, do you know what you’re doing to him?”

“Uh, hurt his feelings?”

“Wow,” Jiang Cheng’s chest heaves. “Wow. If you know, then why are you still doing it? Don’t manipulate people as you like.”

“But we are dating,” he assures him. “He confessed to me this morning. When I was getting ice cream. He didn’t come to our class to ask for his money; he came to ask me if I can walk home together with him.”

“And you said yes to all that.”

“Kind of.”

Jiang Cheng ruffles his own hair. “You’re hopeless.”

“How’d you know that he likes me, anyway? That’s just a shitty gossip, right?”

“He tells me himself, Wei Ying.”

“Oh,” Wei Ying is in loss of words. “Well.”

“This is a person that likes you for who you are. He’s different from those girls. If you dump him next week—won’t you feel bad?”

“I will,” he sighs. “But there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Wei Ying leaves Jiang Cheng, walking inside and to his bedroom. He changes clothes and lies down, thinking about what Jiang Cheng said. If it’s true, then things are going to be…not so good. How can he not tell? He knows that the girls from before don’t actually love him, at least not truly. Lan Zhan’s feelings are not at all obvious, so he can’t tell, but, had he known, he would reject him in a single heartbeat. That’s better than making him date him for a whole week, and probably make him fall in love even deeper, only to get dumped raw.

Wei Ying sighs. The week only begins now, and it already feels long.

Chapter Text

A.M.

The next morning, Wei Ying wakes up early. It’s unusual. He never wakes up before the alarm. The probability of him waking up past the alarm and having to be woken up violently by Jiang Cheng, or YanLi in more serious cases, is way higher than the probability of him waking up earlier. For him to break the record is almost an achievement, but it pisses him off more than anything.

It’s because of the phone. Its shrill rings are even worse than the alarm. It doesn’t stop ringing even as he hopes that ignoring it would make it stop. Grumbling, he snatches his phone from the nightstand and squints at the screen. An unknown number is calling.

“Who is this?” he screams as soon as he accepts the call. “Do you know what time this is?”

“Wei Ying,” the person from the other side says. Wei Ying calms down a little knowing that it’s Lan Zhan’s voice. He can’t get mad, because he’s teased Lan Zhan more than enough before, so it’s only fair for him to get some revenge. “It’s already time to wake up.”

“My alarm doesn’t wake in ten minutes, Lan Zhan. How dare you? Ah, I can’t sleep anymore now. Why’d you call me? Wait—how did you even get my number?” even still sleepy, Wei Ying is hit by the realization that he’s never gives Lan Zhan his number. “Did you track me down? Lan Zhan, I can’t believe you’d do something like that.”

“Jiang Cheng gave it to me.”

Wei Ying doesn’t ask further. Without questions, he knows why Jiang Cheng gives his number to Lan Zhan. Knowing the reason behind, though, makes his stomach churn. It’s kind of weird talking to the person that has an actual, ‘not-for-profit’ crush on you.

“Right. I’m awake now,” Wei Ying sighs. “What’s the matter? Got anything to say?”

“Let’s go to school together.”

“Fine. What couples do, right? Where do we meet?”

“Your house.”

“What—“ he gets a bad feeling immediately. “And where are you now?”

“Your house.”

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying shouts in terror. He jumps from the bed, hanging up almost in an instant, and runs downstairs. He doesn’t know if he expects it or not, but Lan Zhan is already sitting down on the sofa of his living room with Jiang Cheng. Hearing his rushed footsteps, both of them look at him.

“What class, Wei Ying,” Jiang Cheng sneers. “Sure you’re presenting yourself like that in front of your own boyfriend?”

Meanwhile, Lan Zhan is expressionless and quiet as always. Even if Wei Ying, being the observant one he is, notices that his ears have gone slightly pink. Wei Ying also feels himself blush, embarrassed that he’s being seen like this. Quickly, he prepares himself. As he brushes his teeth, he thinks about how unbelievable and dedicated Lan Zhan is. Visiting his house—which address is probably provided by no one other than Jiang Cheng—at such early morning, only to pick him up. It’s somehow, in a way, sweet.

He jogs down the stairs. Lan Zhan is already standing by the door. Jiang Cheng says, “you go ahead and go with him. I’ll catch up later.”

“Ah, but breakfast?”

“We can buy one on the way,” Lan Zhan answers him. “My treat.”

“Uh, no, there’s no need for that. I have my own money, see? I won’t forget my wallet anymore.”

But Lan Zhan’s voice is strict and firm, “my treat.”

“Okay, okay! No need to get mad, Lan Zhan!”

As they walk, Wei Ying notices how Lan Zhan keeps on glancing at him, as if he’s observed something but can’t find a way to express it. When Wei Ying asks him about it, he says, “you haven’t combed your hair.”

He stops his steps. He’s forgotten, of course. In truth, he always forgets to brush his hair. It always ends up neat, for one reason and the other, so why bother? But because Lan Zhan points it out, he feels slightly self-conscious. He brings his hand up to his hair and begins to straighten it out using his fingers. He can’t see how he looks, but once he feels that it’s neat enough, he turns his head to Lan Zhan. “How about now?”

Lan Zhan neither nods nor gives any word of appreciation. Instead, he stops walking and sighs deeply. Wei Ying watches as he proceeds to takes off his backpack and scrambles inside, before taking out a small comb. Lan Zhan lends it to him wordlessly.

Wei Ying mentions his gratitude, though still deeply startled.

Why the hell would Lan Zhan have a comb in his bag?

“Neatness is valued,” Lan Zhan suddenly speaks, answering Wei Ying’s thought and perhaps indirectly proving that he has a mind-reading ability. Wei Ying nods, quite intimidated, and combs his hair silently as he walks. Then, Lan Zhan pauses his tracks again. This time, he takes the comb from his hand, and brushes Wei Ying’s hair to the side.

Wei Ying is beyond surprised. What a loving gesture.

“Lan Zhan, that’s enough.”

Lan Zhan seems taken aback when Wei Ying’s voice is a little raised than usual. His hand stops brushing. Wei Ying sees how Lan Zhan swallows, his throat jolting and clenching. He drops his hand, and keeps the comb inside his pocket. They continue the walk without exchanging words; not even a solo-talk on Wei Ying’s side.

Wei Ying feels guilt bubbling up his chest, guilt from exclaiming at Lan Zhan like that. He thinks that Lan Zhan must be mad at him right now, but the fact that Lan Zhan buys him a bun from a vendor on their way, proves him wrong—and proves him one other thing: Lan Zhan is a really caring lover, contrary to how he looks. While Wei Ying is not so much of a ‘feeler’, he is touched by the acts.

He can’t keep that up, though. Not if he doesn’t want to hurt Lan Zhan. It’s not that he can’t return the kindness. He simply can’t return the love.

“Thank you for the bun,” Wei Ying tells him before they part ways to go to class. “Oh—by the way, we have club, today, don’t we? Are you coming?”

“Mn.”

Jiang Cheng comes into class a few minutes later. Upon seeing Wei Ying, he frowns, as always. “Don’t you have club after school?”

“Yes? Oh, are you going to wait for me? Jiang Cheng, you’re so kind—“

“You forgot your goddamn flute again,” he slams Wei Ying’s flute on the desk. Wei Ying immediately gasps, cradling the flute and scolding Jiang Cheng for being careless.

“I was hurrying because Lan Zhan was waiting!” is Wei Ying’s excuse. “And you care so much about me that I know you’d bring it to me, so there’s no need for me to worry, right?”

“Fine, next time I won’t bring it to you anymore.”

“Jiang Cheng!”

Jiang Cheng massages his forehead lightly, showcasing a stressed expression, “shut up, Wei Ying. Please. How was the walk? Why is your hair so neat?”

“Oh, Lan Zhan offered me his comb.”

“Did he brush your hair for you?”

“Uh—yeah. Well, you see, I didn’t have a mirror, so I couldn’t see myself.”

“Hopeless,” Jiang Cheng sighs. “The two of you.”

P.M.

Lan Zhan is a comely person by nature, but when he sits down to play guqin, he’s easily the most beautiful out there. Even Wei Ying, who never wants to admit such thing, accepts it wholeheartedly. His refined face, although looking more serious, looks more scenic, more elegant, especially when his fingers start to pluck the strings and his eyes drooping slightly in concentration.

When Wei Ying plays the flute to accompany Lan Zhan’s guqin, his eyes are fixed on him. He takes care not to flaw a note, but it’s Lan Zhan who makes a mistake.

They end up having to play twice more before they are dismissed.

“You did great, Lan Zhan, but it’s not so common that you make a mistake, is it? It’s all right, though, we can all be wrong at some point,” Wei Ying says. Lan Zhan glares at him.

“It’s because you keep on staring.”

“Oh,” Wei Ying finds himself unable to speak. “You noticed?”

A nod, “mn.”

Lan Zhan’s ears are red. They are even redder when Wei Ying asks an unexpected question, “so, you want to walk home together again? Or do you want to hang out for a bit and watch a movie?”

“Let’s have dinner first,” Lan Zhan replies, in a voice quieter than usual.

They have dinner in a cheap noodle restaurant a few blocks away. It’s an obscure place, probably doesn’t sell good food, but because it’s the nearest and they don’t really have money for luxury, they settle there.

Wei Ying leans his elbow on the table, supporting his cheek with his hand and the fingers of the other hand drums on the table. The food takes an awfully long time to be served. “Lan Zhan, tell me more about yourself,” Wei Ying says, adding, “it’s what couples do, right? Getting to know each other.”

Hearing ‘it’s what couples do’, Lan Zhan eyes widen, his face alters a bit, enough to be noticed. “I don’t know what to tell.”

“Do you have siblings?”

“A brother.”

“What’s your favorite animal?”

He hesitates. “Rabbits.”

“That’s really cute!” Wei Ying laughs, way too loudly. “I like them too, Lan Zhan, I think they’re adorable.”

Lan Zhan suddenly places his backpack on the cramped table. The bag is covering his entire head, so from behind it, he holds a keychain, attached to the slider of the zipper.

A bunny keychain, white and round. “Then, do you want to get a matching one?”

“Aha, sure, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying tries to suppress another laugh. Turns out, that mysterious, quiet Lan Zhan, is really a romantic. “A black one?”

“Mn.”

“Where do I buy it?”

“I’ll give it to you,” Lan Zhan puts the bag down. “I have one at home.”

“You’re spoiling me too much.”

They eat, and after they’re done, they go directly to the theatre. It’s a boring movie, despite its genre being thriller, it doesn’t thrill at all. Wei Ying is already sleepy, especially after he eats that jumbo-sized bowl of noodle. He leans to his seat and closes his eyes, only opening them with a flinch when something touches his shoulder, like an insect.

It’s not an insect. It’s just hair. Lan Zhan is laying his head on Wei Ying’s shoulder.

Wei Ying smiles. Lan Zhan is probably not doing it on purpose, but it’s still making him one kind of a romantic. Wei Ying has already forgotten what the movie is about, and his attention diverts from the screen to him.

It’s getting harder to not keep his eyes away from Lan Zhan.

The movie finally ends after what feels like forever. Wei Ying wakes him up with a single shake.

“I’m sorry I slept on your shoulder,” Lan Zhan apologizes.

“Don’t sweat it.”

They bid see-you to each other, and on the way to his house, Wei Ying thinks.

He doesn’t think a lot. He never does. This time, though, he needs to think hard.

Should I just tell Lan Zhan to break up now?

Lan Zhan has been so nice to him, nicer than expected, even. Wei Ying doesn’t want to hurt him, after being treated this special. He will certainly break up with him at the end, and for the first time in this game, Wei Ying feel terrible about it. And, aside from that, there is something that’s even scarier.

Wei Ying doesn’t want to fall in love with him.

These feelings really suck.

At home, he’s scolded for being late without notice by his mother, who is unexpectedly home from work early. “You’ve eaten outside too, haven’t you?”

“Oh, about that, yeah.”

“Who with?”

“A friend,” Wei Ying answers.

“Right, a friend, huh,” in a mocking tone, she says. “You’re going out with someone, aren’t you?”

“No—“

“For someone like you, I really pity whoever is dating you. I don’t care about your love life, but you’re going to break hearts everywhere,” Wei Ying stays silent. “You never think twice before you do anything. You’re hurting someone’s child, Wei Ying.”

He waits until the mood calms down, excuses himself, only to get scolded for another minute, before he can be in his room again. He sits on the edge of the bed, wondering again, just what he’s doing.

Jiang Cheng is right. He’s hopeless.

Chapter Text

It’s only Wednesday, and Wei Ying already feels awfully tired. He can’t wait for the weekend and sleep for thirteen hours straight, play video games all day and fool around, even if it means getting into trouble and heavily yelled at. Going to school feels like a task, like a hefty burden. In times like this, Wei Ying decides it’s better to not go to school and sleep through his alarm—or rather, ignore it.

After ten minutes, because Wei Ying isn’t seen in the bathroom, and because Jiang Cheng doesn’t really want to take the ‘wake-your-brother-up’ business, YanLi enters his room, announcing something that effectively makes Wei Ying jump, “Lan Zhan comes here again.”

YanLi never lies to him, not even in the attempt of persuading him to wake up. “He said he wanted to walk you to school again,” she continues. “And he seems to have a present for you.”

“Ah, I’m really lazy,” Wei Ying mumbles. “Tell him I’m not going today.”

“But he’s already gone all the way here…”

“Jie, I’m really lazy.”

YanLi smiles. She sits on the edge of Wei Ying’s bed, saying, “Lan Zhan likes you so much. He was holding a small bunny keychain and told me that he’d be giving it to you as a gift, because it reminds him of you. Isn’t that just cute?”

Wei Ying groans incoherently. “I’m not going just because Lan Zhan is here.”

“I think you shouldn’t waste it on sleeping and skipping school,” YanLi says, ruffling Wei Ying’s hair. “Come, ready yourself and let’s have breakfast together, with Lan Zhan, too. I’ve prepared your favorite ribs soup. If you wake any later, you won’t be able to get even the leftovers.”

“I don’t want to go.”

YanLi sighs. Normally, Wei Ying would only beg for another five minutes, even if he ends up getting up in five minutes times three. But when he says he doesn’t want to go, he really doesn’t. Any coercion won’t work. Even the crack of his mother’s belt won’t work. He’s been there.

“All right, then. Just rest. I’ll tell Lan Zhan to go without you.”

“Thanks, jie.”

Seeing Lan Zhan—that’s exactly what Wei Ying is avoiding. It’s not that there are any hard feelings, far from that, but Wei Ying is trying to sort out his feelings alone. It’s been two days since Lan Zhan’s confession. It’s a short time, but Wei Ying can already feel, well, different.

He’s never felt this way before, not with those girls. It’s definitely not love, though, at least not at this point. Love isn’t supposed to feel like this. Love isn’t supposed to be run away from, it’s not something to fear of. But it’s really a feeling that stirs a thought from him.

What exactly is he to me?

Wei Ying covers his head with the blanket, closing his eyes and trying to empty his mind, but no matter what he does, he thinks of Lan Zhan.

Wei Ying is used to being at home alone. It’s nice to have the whole house to yourself. But for today, it feels empty, and all he wants is to have a company. To complicate matters, his mind simply can’t detach itself from thinking.

When Wei Ying finds himself sitting on the kitchen counter, a bottle of half-drunk soda next to him, the inside of his cheek probably wounded by being bitten too much—he smiles, realizing the bittersweet situation that might end up in shambles.

Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan. What a troublemaker you are.

He stays there until Jiang Cheng comes home. “Wei Ying, you know I hate being blunt, but I have to be really honest to you, you look terrible, for someone who just got a glorious me-time at home.”

“I was thinking, Jiang Cheng,” he replies, eyes fixed on the tiled floor. “About Lan Zhan.”

Jiang Cheng gives him a mocking laugh. “If you’re thinking about him so much, why did you leave him this morning? Can’t you make a little sacrifice, get your lazy ass up and go to school for him?”

“No, it’s just that—how was he today?”

“What do you think? He kept on asking me if you were sick, if he needed to go to the drugstore to buy medicine, if he should just stay and look after you,” hearing that, Wei Ying’s chest tightens. His heart hurts. Lan Zhan cares about him that much.

“I’m scared, Jiang Cheng,” he shuts his eyes close. “I don’t know where we are heading.”

“I know,” Jiang Cheng’s voice softens. He asks, “do you like him back?”

“I don’t know.”

“Feelings are difficult, huh?” he says. He takes a deep breath, before sighing deeply and telling Wei Ying, “Lan Zhan told me about his crush a few months back, and when I told him about your one-date-a-week thing, he looked so broken and helpless. I told him that he should seize the opportunity to go out with you, even for a week,” another sigh. “I shouldn’t have.”

“Well, if I break up with him, at least his dream is fulfilled, right? Even only for a week.”

“You’re going to shatter him. He’s hopeful for you to return the feelings, you know that. He’s really hopeful.”

Jiang Cheng leaves him alone. Moments later, his phone rings.

“Wei Ying,” the voice from the other side says.

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Ying has to look at the phone screen to make sure that it’s Lan Zhan, but the screen shows him a number, not a name.

He hasn’t even saved his number.

“Wei Ying, are you fine?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah,” he tries to laugh, but it comes out throaty. “I just…kind of got lazy. I’m fine, not sick or anything.”

Silence. Wei Ying waits for an answer. But nothing is spoken. “Lan Zhan?”

“I wanted to see you.”

“Sorry about that,” he apologizes. Then waits for an answer. Nothing. “You want to see me tonight?”

“Sure.”

“You know the park near my house? You do, right? You have to walk past it to get here. Let’s meet there. At, uh, six, I guess?”

“Mn.”

Wei Ying is guilty for putting Lan Zhan into an obviously bad mood, but there’s nothing he can do about it except by meeting him. When the time comes, Lan Zhan is there early, sitting on one of the benches, birds around his feet.

“Lan Zhan, hello,” Wei Ying sits down next to him. “Been here long?”

“Just got here,” Lan Zhan replies. Quietly, and suddenly, he takes Wei Ying’s hand, and sneaks in something inside, folding his fingers around the object. “For you,”

Of course, it’s the keychain. Around one of the rabbit’s paws is a red string, attached there with a glue. It’s an odd decoration. “Does your bunny have this…thing?”

“Yes,” Lan Zhan answers.

“Then my memory fails me.”

“I attached it myself,” he explains. “On yours and mine.”

At first, Wei Ying laughs it off, taking a longer time in realizing.

Oh. Right. The red string of fate.

“Thanks, it’s adorable.”

“Mn.”

He clenches the slat of the bench unconsciously. Until he feels pain on his knuckles that he notices what he’s doing.

“You’re agitated,” Lan Zhan points out. He’s noticed too.

“Ah, well, you see, in this park, if you look around, there are so many couples,” Wei Ying says. Looking around, it’s true. Couples of old and young kiss and hug and hold hands openly. It’s almost a weird view, unfamiliar to the eyes and at a length, uncomfortable.

“We are one too.”

“Yeah,” he nods. That’s true. “We are.”

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan calls out his name. His head is turned to look at him, hand reached out to touch Wei Ying’s shoulder. Somehow, his touch brings back a sense of familiarity to him. “You don’t hate me, do you?”

“Lan Zhan, I could never,” Wei Ying shakes his head, surprised at the question.

“Then, do you love me?”

It’s dark, even with the garden lamps around, but the desperation in Lan Zhan’s eyes are visible. His eyebrows are slightly furrowed, lips parted and there isn’t a single light left in his expression. He looks absolutely crushed, forever waiting for answer that never quite leaves Wei Ying’s mouth.

“Lan Zhan, that kind of question is…a little…”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize, it’s—“ all words seem to leave his common sense then and there. Lan Zhan’s hand has left his shoulder. “It’s hard to say. I’m one at fault. I’m sorry, Lan Zhan.”

If the opposite of ‘hate’ is ‘love’, then why can’t I love you?

I’m sorry to keep your heart hostage.

Wei Ying thinks that nothing could be worse than this, but when he hears a voice exclaiming his name, he freezes.

“Wei Ying! Is that you?” the source of the voice becomes closer, and in a matter of seconds, a young woman appears in front of them.

“Ah…A-Mei…”

Lan Zhan knows her. She’s his classmate, one of the first girls that dated Wei Ying. Except, there is one thing about her that is different from the others: she and Wei Ying went out for two weeks.

“Lan Zhan, you’re here too,” she nods at him with a smile. “What are you guys doing? It’s dark.”

“Just chilling around. You?”

“I was from the convenience store, then I saw you!” A-Mei laughs. “Hey, Wei Ying, who’s your girlfriend for the week?”

“No one.”

“Broke the record, huh? So you’re not dating anyone at the moment?”

Wei Ying doesn’t even have the courage to look at Lan Zhan, who is looking at the ground. Feeling his tongue thicken and heavy, he replies, “I’m not.”

“Well, that’s a shame. I’ll be going now, then. Have a nice evening.”

“Thank you. You too.”

When A-Mei is gone for good, Lan Zhan speaks, “what am I to you? Wei Ying.”

Exactly the question I’ve been asking to myself.

“I couldn’t be honest to her, otherwise—“

Lan Zhan is still facing down. Wei Ying starts to panic, afraid of making him cry. “Lan Zhan, trust me, I just didn’t want her to know. I was wrong, though, I—“

“Are you ashamed of us?”

“No! Of course not, how could you say that?”

“Then,” Lan Zhan’s voice cracks. “Why?”

“Because…Lan Zhan, would you look at me? Please?”

Lan Zhan wipes his eyes with his sleeve before he looks at Wei Ying. It’s clear that he’s trying to hide his vulnerability by keeping the line of his mouth strict and clenching his throat, but Wei Ying can easily see through all that.

“Why?”

“If I kiss you, would you trust me?”

Lan Zhan doesn’t even look baffled. Maybe he’s too distraught for that. His eyes glance away, though.

“Lan Zhan, if I kiss you right now, would you believe in me?”

He nods, but only briefly and vaguely. Wei Ying leans closer.

Hating yourself can do later. Right now, don’t think. Just—

It’s Lan Zhan who closes the gap. Wei Ying flinches a little, but he stays in place, unbreathing and pursing his lips.

Despite dating tens of girls before, he’s never kissed any of them before. He’s always reluctant, and so are his dates. This is his first time, and for a reason, he likes it. His cheeks are flushed and warm, even if Lan Zhan’s lips only touch his lightly, a barely-there touch. Wei Ying knows that Lan Zhan is equally as nervous as he is. He can’t feel his breath on his face, and his body seems to be so stiff.

The kiss breaks noiselessly. Both stay silent. There is nothing to say.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying begins. “I, uh.”

“Are you going home?”

Wei Ying catches him smiling. He smiles too. “If you excuse me.”

“See you tomorrow.”

Wei Ying pats him on the shoulder, then walks away. When he looks back, Lan Zhan is still sitting there, hunched and unmoving, head bowed down.

I really am so cruel.

Chapter Text

Wei Ying goes to school alone. Jiang Cheng has already left, because he needs to arrive early for whatever reason. He’s told Wei Ying, actually, but he didn’t quite hear him, even if Jiang Cheng was shouting on top of his lungs when Wei Ying was in the bathroom. Not that it matters right now. He’ll meet him in class, after all.

It just feels strange to go without a companion. There isn’t anyone to tease, no one to be caught in an endless conversation with, no one to tell him that his hair looks catastrophic… and as dramatic as it sounds, Wei Ying feels that something is lost.

For the first time, and also for the longest time, long enough for him to almost be late, he had waited for Lan Zhan to come around. He never did.

It’s his fault, after all. Last night was his mistake, entirely. Now he’s punished with an unpleasant, lonely journey to school all by himself. It feels terribly long, and he’s never this glad to arrive at school before.

Jiang Cheng’s bag is on his seat, but the person isn’t present. Wei Ying sits. In other times, he would stick his nose into other people’s talks, or visit a friend or two from other classes, but at this rare moment, he feels too awful to do all of that.

He didn’t sleep well last night, and there is still time before classes start, so he can make use of the time to sleep, but his mind simply rejects all motivation to do anything at all except to think.

He’s been thinking far too much this past days. Ever since Lan Zhan came along to his life, his thoughts go haywire, and he thinks a lot. Most of the time about him. Other times about their relationship, which its status is, at this point, unclear and complicated.

His attention diverted to the keychain he had attached on his backpack. Lan Zhan’s gift. Lan Zhan had said that it reminded him of Wei Ying, and even tied a red string around one of its legs—which are very romantic gestures that made Wei Ying want to cry, in a touched way.

I think I like him, too.

His senses snap upon thinking that. It’s a risky thought, a premature feeling that he’s not able to comprehend.

At least not right now. There will be a time.

“Are you and Lan Zhan filing a divorce, or something?” Jiang Cheng asks. It’s break, and Wei Ying’s mood still hasn’t lifted up. “You look glum, and I just saw him sitting by the back staircase alone. Looking equally as gloomy.”

“He’s there? No wonder I couldn’t find him in his classroom,” he sighs. “I wanted to apologize.”

“Then go. Save the story for later. Be a grown-up and apologize.”

Wei Ying does. The staircase is at the most back part of the school. It’s an almost isolated place and is a good place if you want to be secluded. There is a huge window on the wall next to it if you want to gaze outside and add to the melancholic effect.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying smiles as he sees that he’s still there. Lan Zhan looks at him and nods, moving aside to give Wei Ying a space to sit down.

“Uh, Lan Zhan, about last night, I’m sorry,” Wei Ying mentions directly, to which Lan Zhan answer only with a glance. “Don’t think about it too much, okay?”

“Don’t think about it too much?” his eyebrows are raised.

“Mm,” Wei Ying nods, but gulps. Then, because he can’t seem to not joke, he points at his face and says, “just think about me.”

“Always.”

“Huh?”

“Always,” Lan Zhan repeats, putting more pressure in the word as he speaks so.

“We’re all right, aren’t we?”

“Mn.”

“Well, then, Lan Zhan, can I lie on your lap?”

Lan Zhan doesn’t look surprised by the request in the least. Instead, he nods.

Wei Ying lies down. His eyes stare the ceiling, in attempt of not looking at Lan Zhan’s face. Although in occasions, his eyes do move and look at him.

He’s actually handsome close-up like this. Really.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says. “Who’s A-Mei?”

“Oh,” Wei Ying makes vague hand gestures. “A former girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, let me tell you why we dated for two weeks instead of one. The thing is, the next week was a dare. Jiang Cheng was on a pissy mood when we were playing, so he dared me the impossible.”

“Jiang Cheng did that?”

“Yeah,” he laughs, catching a clear, albeit short-lived smile from Lan Zhan. “Why? Are you jealous?”

“No…” Lan Zhan pauses. “Do you still have her number?”

“I never keep my partners’ numbers,” Wei Ying shrugs. “I can memorize them just fine while we’re still dating, and I’ll be deleting them anyway, when we break up. I don’t see the point. But, for you, Lan Zhan, I saved it on my phone…even if it took me, what, two days?”

Lan Zhan, “will you delete it?”

Wei Ying gets what he means now.

“Nope. Just for you, I won’t delete it.”

Lan Zhan seems satisfied by the answer, because afterwards, he doesn’t say anymore.

“Why didn’t you come today?” Wei Ying asks. “To my house, I mean.”

“I had to be here early,” Lan Zhan tells him. “School council stuff. Jiang Cheng was also there.”

“Ah, so that was the reason!”

They stay like that until the bell rings again, indicating that break time is over.

“See you, Wei Ying.”

“See you.”

Somehow, Wei Ying feels that everything is going to be just fine.

Chapter Text

“Wei Ying, Lan Zhan, going to school already?” YanLi asks from the other side of the room. She hurries over to them with her bag and rummages inside, then pulls out two small pieces of paper. They’re movie tickets. The date shows that it’s due for next weekend. “I got this from a friend, but I’m not so much of a fan of the movies, so you two can have it.”

“Thanks, jie. Lan Zhan, make sure you’re free next week,” Wei Ying elbows lightly, laughing and bidding see-you to his sister. Lan Zhan does too, although after that, he glances at Wei Ying with a doubtful look. Catching that, he says, “if you’re not free, then I won’t go. Being in the movies alone makes me look like a loser, right? I’ll give these to Jiang Cheng.”

Lan Zhan doesn’t answer for a moment. He shakes his head, “you can go with your next date.”

Wei Ying’s confidence shrivels. Lan Zhan has put him in speechless moments many times before, but this time, it’s a dead end. No matter what he says will be a futile attempt in making Lan Zhan happy.

“But I want to go with you, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Zhan parts his mouth to speak, but hesitates. Wei Ying hates how he’s always stuck in inevitably difficult situations. Sometimes, it’s true that he doesn’t think before he talks. But even as he does think, things never go the way he wants. He clenches the hem of his uniform, feeling weirdly angry.

“Why must you say things like that?”

“Because it’s true,” Wei Ying elaborates. “What are you being so mad for?”

“I’m not.”

While Lan Zhan may not be the most verbose person out there when it comes to expressing his feelings, his facial expression really says everything at all. Knitted eyebrows, lips pressed together, narrowed eyes.

“Liking someone,” Wei Ying says, only to realize that he’s speaking out his thoughts out loud right after he does it. “Is really complicated. Yeah?”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan’s sigh is audible. “Wei Ying.”

“Hm?”

“Walk faster.”

He takes a look at his watch almost instinctively. He smiles at Lan Zhan, and they walk faster.

It’s Friday, so Wei Ying is in his highest spirits. And when he’s in that state, the more Jiang Cheng is pissed. “You really are a waste of a pretty face,” he tells him.

“No, it’s a plus trait, actually. My sense of humor only adds up to what makes me likeable.”

“As if your jokes are funny! And the fact that you always joke in the most inappropriate times – that’s really something.”

“Jiang Cheng, you’re literally the only person who doesn’t laugh at my jokes. Your opinion is invalid,” Wei Ying shrugs, smiling in pride at Jiang Cheng.

“Does Lan Zhan ever laugh at your jokes? If he does, then I admit my opinion is invalid.”

Wei Ying hums quietly. Thinking of it, he’s always so serious around Lan Zhan. He doesn’t kid a lot around him, and when he does, Lan Zhan…well, doesn’t really laugh. He simply replies with a real answer, or with the usual ‘mn.’

“He never laughs at anything or anyone.”

“See.”

“Ah, right, talking about Lan Zhan, jie gives us movie tickets for next week,” Wei Ying shows him the tickets. Jiang Cheng observes it, before he realizes, eyes widening and nose scrunching.

“Next week? But you know what happens next week.”

“Jiang Cheng,” his eyes look at the floor. He’s trying to think of what to say next. Jiang Cheng can keep secrets, but it’s his reaction that Wei Ying doesn’t want to face. “I like him. We’re dating for—“

“What?” Jiang Cheng screams, rising from his seat at once and almost spilling the open water bottle on his desk. It’s exactly the reaction Wei Ying expects. He seems to be waiting for Wei Ying to laugh and debunk that it’s only another joke Jiang Cheng falls for, but Wei Ying nods solemnly. “Wei Ying, there isn’t a day going that you’re not hopeless.”

Wei Ying and Lan Zhan have only walked past the gate, when someone calls for Lan Zhan. They both turn around to see a girl, running to their direction with red face.

“Uh,” she looks at Lan Zhan, then at Wei Ying.

The three stand there awkwardly for a few seconds. Wei Ying, bothered by it, says, “I’ll, uh, excuse myself.”

Lan Zhan keeps an eye on Wei Ying as he walks away. Wei Ying stands at a distance, eyeing on the two carefully. The girl is probably a batch above them. She talks to Lan Zhan with her hands clasped together as if she’s praying, and her eyes never quite meet his. In a moment, Wei Ying knows the business.

He sees Lan Zhan briefly shaking his head, and the girl nodding multiple times. At the end, she seems to be thanking Lan Zhan, and then trots away.

“Whoa, Lan Zhan has a fan,” Wei Ying teases him when he’s by his side again. Lan Zhan shows no change in expression. “What did she say?”

“That she likes me.”

“What did you say?”

“That I like someone else.”

Wei Ying whistles. “Too bad for her.”

“Mn.”

Wei Ying looks at him. It’s not surprising that Lan Zhan has just got confessed to. He’s attractive, built very well, and as if those aren’t enough, he’s also a good student.

It’s not hard to fall in love with him.

“Hey, Lan Zhan. Want to stay over at my house?” Wei Ying asks, all of a sudden. He doesn’t know the trigger behind the question, but whatever it is, he doesn’t regret asking. He wants Lan Zhan to stay, after all. “You can come tonight. Right now is okay too! You don’t need to bring anything. Just use my stuff.”

Lan Zhan, “tonight is fine.”

“Then tonight it is!”

Tonight, Lan Zhan comes at around six thirty. Jiang Cheng is the one who opens the door. He immediately rushes to Wei Ying’s bedroom, exclaiming, “why the hell is Lan Zhan here with a luggage bag? You two planning to elope?”

“Oh, he’s here to stay over.”

Jiang Cheng stares at him in terror. “You know what mother says about having friends over.”

“She’s on a business trip. She doesn’t have to know. Lan Zhan!” he runs downstairs, and upon seeing Lan Zhan on the living room, he can’t contain his excitement.

He jumps at him, throwing his arms around Lan Zhan’s neck. Lan Zhan tumbles back, surprised. But he hugs back after a few moments of hesitation. “I’m so glad you actually came,” Wei Ying holds him tighter. He then pulls away, and Lan Zhan’s cheeks and ears are tinged with bright pink. “My room is upstairs.”

They go upstairs, Lan Zhan greeting Jiang Cheng on the way. Wei Ying apologizes for the mess on his room and proceeds to clean the corners and makes his bed while Lan Zhan stands by the door, silent.

“Say something, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying says as he folds the blanket. “Don’t just stand there. Anyway, why do you bring an entire luggage bag? Jiang Cheng thought we were eloping, you know.”

“I brought gifts for your family,” Lan Zhan answers. He opens the zipper of his bag and takes out gift after gift; sweets and cakes wrapped in pretty giftwraps and even porcelain souvenirs.

“Lan Zhan, you really don’t have to,” Wei Ying says, dumbfounded at the amount of gifts Lan Zhan brings. “As a payback, you’ll have to eat a lot during dinner! My sister’s soup is the best. You’ll definitely get addicted.”

“Mn.”

“So, while we wait, want to watch something?”

There is a small television in Wei Ying’s bedroom, right across the bed. It’s old and the screen is grainy, but still good enough. Wei Ying has an entire stack of film CDs that he’s collected ever since he was a child too, most of them forgotten cartoons and collections of nursery rhymes. He scans through them, occasionally showing Lan Zhan what he thinks would be nice to watch. Lan Zhan, though, says, “let’s not do anything.”

“Huh? Oh, you just want to relax and chill? That’s good too. Sit, sit down, Lan Zhan.”

The two sit in front of the TV. Everything is quiet for the longest time. Wei Ying closes his eyes. Having Lan Zhan next to him is like a nostalgic dream. Lan Zhan loves him, and, in a way, it’s a warming fact to know. When he feels hand over his own, he looks over at Lan Zhan. He’s closing his eyes too, head tilted back, his chest heaving with calm breaths. Wei Ying smiles. He wishes that he can stay like this forever.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan whispers.

“Yeah?”

Lan Zhan straightens his body, his head turned to face Wei Ying. It’s strange how Lan Zhan’s inexpressiveness holds a lot of emotions. Wei Ying feels intoxicated, inexplicably lost in those light eyes.

I want to go with you, Lan Zhan. He remembers saying. I want to go with you, anywhere your feet take you.

With one hand still pressing over Wei Ying’s, the other slowly reaches out to touch Wei Ying’s cheek. His palm is cold, making Wei Ying almost wince. His fingers are calloused and rough, probably from plucking the strings of the guqin for so long. But it feels safe like that.

Wei Ying shifts nearer. He can’t take Lan Zhan’s look. It’s far too overwhelming, so he shuts his eyes closed, ready for whatever Lan Zhan wants to do to him next.

He’s not the least startled when Lan Zhan brushes his lips against his. He holds the hand that’s on his cheek, seemingly of its own accord. This is different from the first kiss they had. Wei Ying nervously tries to angle his head to the side, and pushes closer, securing the kiss. The grip on his hand tightens as he does that.

Everything shatters when Jiang Cheng knocks on the door, announcing from behind the door that dinner is ready. The two flinch in shock. They immediately look away from each other, embarrassed.

“Wei Ying? Lan Zhan?”

Wei Ying nods at Lan Zhan, and they open the door to see Jiang Cheng standing there, looking rather concerned.

“Oh, good,” Jiang Cheng says. “Clothes still intact. Good.”

“Jiang Cheng!”

Dinner goes by quite quickly. YanLi asks questions to Lan Zhan, a lot of them, and some of them are answered by Wei Ying. Jiang Cheng always chimes in with his smart remarks, Wei Ying asks for another bowl three times, and Lan Zhan gives in and asks for one additional bowl due to Wei Ying’s pressure.

“It’s good, right? Jie-jie’s soup,” Wei Ying says while they’re brushing their teeth in the bathroom.

“Mn,” Lan Zhan replies, maybe wanting to add something, but can’t because his mouth is still full of foam.

After they’re done, they are back in Wei Ying’s bedroom. To Wei Ying’s surprise, Lan Zhan takes a sleeping bag from his luggage. “Lan Zhan! Don’t do that. You’re sleeping on my bed.”

“On your bed?”

“Come on, don’t be reluctant. You want us to sleep hugging too, while we are here?”

He nods.

“Lan Zhan!”

Wei Ying’s bed is designed for one person, so they have to sleep close to each other. The distance is a little uncomfortable, though.

“You look like you have something to say,” Wei Ying points out. “Speak now or forever hold your peace, before we sleep.”

Lan Zhan’s eyelids flutter. “Only two more days,” his words come out hushed. “Good night, Wei Ying.”

“Lan Zhan, I—“

But Lan Zhan is already closing his eyes.

Chapter Text

Wei Ying wakes up at midnight, feeling his palm stiff and paralyzed. His first instinct, being woken up by such hassle at an indecent time, is to shake his hand off. When he realizes that it’s being pressed onto the bed by something, he yanks it away roughly.

He begins to massage his numb palm and wrist lightly, wondering if it’s possible to get sleep-paralyzed on the hand only. But he certainly could feel what held his hand before. He thinks about it – it felt like, skin? Fingers?

It was Lan Zhan’s hand. Of course it was. They had fallen asleep holding each other’s hands. Wei Ying opens his eyes abruptly to make sure than Lan Zhan is still soundly asleep. He is. Wei Ying has slept so quickly that he couldn’t appreciate Lan Zhan’s sleeping face before. He is as peaceful as a baby, breath calm and – Wei Ying listens closely and smiles – he’s snoring quietly.

He places his hand over Lan Zhan’s, and then closes his eyes again. Morning is still a long way to go, but for the first time, he can’t wait for it to arrive.

Unlike any other weekend, Wei Ying is able to wake early. The clock shows that it’s nearing half past seven. The sun is already high up in the sky, its rays making a way through the blinds and shine down on Lan Zhan, his figure sitting on the bed cross-legged. It’s the first view Wei Ying gets to see.

Lan Zhan is already wearing new clothes. He seems to be seriously playing a game on his phone, thumbs vigorously pressing and clicking on the screen. Wei Ying says, “Lan Zhan? Why are you up?”

“Morning,” he answers, immediately closing his phone to look at Wei Ying. “I’ve been up since five.”

“Five?” Wei Ying exclaims. “That’s too early!”

“What time is breakfast?”

“It should be in half an hour. I always skip it on weekends, because I never wake up at this time.”

Wei Ying readies himself in the bathroom. He’s still somewhat sleepy, even after he washes his face. Afterwards, he takes Lan Zhan downstairs for breakfast. Jiang Cheng is watching TV and YanLi is in the kitchen.

“Jiang Cheng, good morning. What are you watching?” Wei Ying greets. Jiang Cheng turns to look at them both. He nods politely at Lan Zhan, then faces front again to continue watching.

“It’s a drama,” Jiang Cheng answers Wei Ying’s question. “Don’t insult me. Your life itself is a drama that I get to watch every day.”

“Hey, that’s not so nice,” he says, sitting next to him and gesturing at Lan Zhan to sit too. For a while, they watch the movie together. It’s the classic high school boy-and-girl romance film. Wei Ying is so bored that he decides to close his eyes and almost ends up sleeping again.

Just when he’s about to escape consciousness, Lan Zhan taps on his knee. Wei Ying feels it, but doesn’t budge. It takes Jiang Cheng’s violent shakes to snap him back.

They eat breakfast with the same manner as last night’s dinner – Wei Ying likes to clown around, Jiang Cheng likes to be sassy, and Lan Zhan likes to be quiet. Meanwhile, YanLi smiles at everything and engages small talks.

“Lan Zhan, are you going home today?” YanLi asks. Lan Zhan nods. “Oh, then don’t go home too early. I’ll make some soup for you to bring home.”

He looks surprised. “There is no need.”

“I know you want it, Lan Zhan. You cannot resist jie-jie’s soup,” Wei Ying teases him, laughing as Lan Zhan doesn’t have any choice but to agree to YanLi’s offer.

Later that morning, they spend more time watching the previous drama they watched – Jiang Cheng grumbling because he doesn’t know what happened in the show when they were eating.

“All drama movies are the same,” Wei Ying complains. “Right, Lan Zhan?”

Lan Zhan looks at him, shaking his head. “They’re not.”

“See? Even Lan Zhan says they’re not,” Jiang Cheng snorts at him. “You watch drama too, Lan Zhan?”

“Mn.”

“Well, that’s unexpected,” Wei Ying leans his back on the cushion. To entertain Lan Zhan, he tags along watching. Eventually, YanLi comes with a tray of cups of tea and joins them.

“When I was in high school, this kind of things never happened,” she says in the middle of a dramatic scene. “But I think a certain degree of exaggeration is needed, for the sake of an interesting plot. In real life, though, I don’t make things complicated. If you like someone, then tell them. Easy as that!”

“It’s because you’re an idealist,” Wei Ying chimes.

“Idealist or not, love can be made easy so long there’s proper communication and mutual understanding. What do you think, A-Cheng?”

“Jie, that’s the least thing I care about.”

YanLi smiles, then when her eyes cross Wei Ying, he says, “oh, I’m a heartbreaker!” she’s still smiling when she silently asks for Lan Zhan’s opinion. He looks away instead, though it’s clear that he’s gone red on the topic of love.

Soon, the movie ends. All of them thinks that the ending is anticlimactic, except for Wei Ying, who didn’t pay attention the whole time. YanLi excuses herself to cook, Jiang Cheng goes back to his room, and so do Wei Ying and Lan Zhan.

“Want to play some chess?” Wei Ying takes out a small chess board from under his bed. “Be careful, though. I’m really good!”

Lan Zhan, “I can’t concentrate right now. Didn’t get enough sleep last night.”

“Huh? Lan Zhan, you were sleeping like a baby. You didn’t even wake up for a second.”

“I was actually awake until twelve.”

“What were you doing?”

“I was thinking,” Lan Zhan looks uncomfortable. His lips are twitching and his fingers fidget. Before Wei Ying can ask what about, he continues. “about you.”

Wei Ying is awestruck. He presses his lips together and walks closer to Lan Zhan. He laughs lightly, ruffling Lan Zhan’s hair. “You’re such a mess. Then let’s take a nap now.”

“No,” he refuses. His eyes look different, glancing at Wei Ying with absolute seriousness and, Wei Ying realizes, there’s desperation in them. “I will not be able to sleep.”

“Why not? Lan Zhan, are you all right?” Lan Zhan doesn’t answer. Wei Ying tries to piece the puzzle together by himself. “You’re worrying about tomorrow, aren’t you?”

“What are we?” he asks, directly to the point, directly to where it hits.

“Next week, I still want to be with you,” Wei Ying hopes that can answer Lan Zhan’s question, but it doesn’t.

“As what?”

He can’t say.

Every time he gets his hope up – every time he thinks that things are going on the path he wants, suddenly the world seems to be upside down all over again, and nothing is right.

Lan Zhan pretends to look at the clock, then says, “I have to go home now.”

“Lan Zhan—“

“I’ll repack.”

There isn’t a lot to repack. In mere minutes, Lan Zhan is ready with his luggage. “Thank you for yesterday and today,” he tells him, and then leaves.

Wei Ying curses himself. Though, he thinks, if he just stands there like a loser, he won’t be able to fix anything. Immediately, he rushes to chase Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan’s luggage bag is on the living room, but the person is nowhere. Vaguely, he hears YanLi speaking from the kitchen.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me what happened. I know. But my brother isn’t the kind of person you think,” she says, as Wei Ying hears. He also hears an ‘mn’. “He’s kind, maybe a little selfish, but he’s actually really considerate. Maybe he’s having trouble channeling his feelings as well, the same way you do. Don’t worry, Lan Zhan. He loves you, too.”

This time, Lan Zhan doesn’t respond. YanLi talks again, “aren’t you going to the movies with him next week? That makes you special to him.”

“He’s going with someone else.”

“He is?” YanLi’s voice goes a pitch higher, startled. When Lan Zhan is quiet, YanLi gets it and chuckles, “he’s not. It’s just your feeling. No way he’s playing around with you. He’s not like that.”

“YanLi-jie,” Lan Zhan replies. “I love him.”

“I know. I know,” there is a sound of the stove being clicked off. “Don’t make love feel painful. It’s a beautiful thing, so why don’t you enjoy it? You see, he might look eccentric in the shell but…he’s truly a gem. He’s trying his best to make you happy.”

“Mn.”

“He’s your soup. Do you need a ride?”

“There is no need.”

“Then be careful on your way home.”

Wei Ying freezes on spot the whole eavesdropping. He then runs on his toes upstairs, to his room and closes the door behind him, pressing his forehead against it and feeling very, very terrible.

Tomorrow is the last day.

Chapter Text

At around eleven thirty in the a.m, Wei Ying receives a call from Lan Zhan. The ring of his phone seems to be louder and more shrill than usual, especially when he sees the name on the screen. To answer feels like a decision made in a horror movie. He doesn’t get agitated too often, but this time is one of those times outside the ‘often’ range.

When he answers, though, turns out Lan Zhan only asks if he can take his toothpaste that he had left at Wei Ying’s bathroom. Wei Ying gives an affirmative answer, while half-hoping that Lan Zhan would say something about today. He doesn’t.

Things can be handled when Lan Zhan is here.

A few minutes later, as promised, Lan Zhan arrives at his front door. Wei Ying is already downstairs in the living room, holding the toothpaste the entire time and pressing on the tube nervously. Lan Zhan doesn’t question it, but he definitely notices the upper part of the tube looks fatter than before.

“Lan Zhan, uh,” Wei Ying begins as Lan Zhan is about to leave. He scratches the back of his neck momentarily. “I have something to tell you.”

“I know.”

“Let’s take this somewhere else, shouldn’t we?”

They take it to the small garden at the back of Wei Ying’s house. It’s a neat, quiet garden, away from the main road, but they have to go inside first to be there. It’s separated from the indoors by a sliding glass door. They meet YanLi along the way. She smiles at them; an encouraging smile for both Lan Zhan and Wei Ying.

“I – have something to tell you,” Wei Ying massages his jaw, an obviously nervous act when they’re finally there. The garden is terribly silent, apart from the splashing water from the tiny fountain by the corner. He swears he can hear Lan Zhan’s ragged, impatient breathing.

“I know,” Lan Zhan’s answer is still the same. “You said so already.”

“Oh, yeah.”

They simply stand across each other, awkward and uncomfortable. “What time does this end?” Lan Zhan asks.

There is no clock, Wei Ying isn’t wearing his watch, and the mood will be killed even more if he takes out his phone, so there is no way to tell time right now. Seeing Wei Ying hesitate, Lan Zhan says again, “we can always make it now.”

His face is unreadable, or maybe just too tangled for Wei Ying to read.

One week goes by so fast. Even Wei Ying doesn’t feel it. He guesses that’s just how time has always been – running in a pace that he can’t comprehend, in a speed that he definitely underestimates. However it is, within this precious one week, he’s learned a lot about Lan Zhan. He’s learned about the fragility of feelings, the vulnerability of thoughts, and the speechlessness of love. It’s been a really special week.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying’s voice is a little raised. He feels confidence in his chest. “From tomorrow on, I still want to walk to school together with you, but you don’t have to come here. We can meet at the junction, and then go to school from there. Then, next week, I want you to watch the movie with me. Maybe have another sleepover, too, if you are willing. This time at your house.”

He pauses. Lan Zhan takes the opportunity to ask, because his previous question is completely disregarded by Wei Ying, “when does this end?”

“Never,” Wei Ying grins. “There is no ending.”

Lan Zhan furrows his eyebrows together, mad with confusion. “How so?”

“Go out with me,” Wei Ying says it without a single tremble. “I like you. I think you’re great. I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”

“Wei Ying.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know that was a shitty confession. I’m never really the one in the spot to confess, you know? Ah, anyway, I’m so happy. I feel like hugging you right now. Can I hug you? Lan Zhan!” he tries to regain balance as Lan Zhan suddenly hugs him. “There’s a huge rock behind me! If I fall, I’ll die!”

“You really are wicked,” Lan Zhan comments.

“Why am I always antagonized by everyone!”

“I like you.”

“Yeah!”

“I fancy you.”

“Yeah!”

“It can’t be anyone but you.”

“Yeah!”

Faintly, they hear a foreign, blurred ‘yeah!’ from outside the glass door. Jiang Cheng is peeking from the side, and disappears as quickly as he is found out. Wei Ying laughs, “That bastard. Is he into voyeurism or something? Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him later.”

“Mn.”

“So, we’re lovers now, aren’t we?” Wei Ying pulls back slightly.

“Mn.”

“Then kiss me,” he says, voice gentle but tingled with a flirtatious, playful tone. “The way lovers do.”

Lan Zhan doesn’t hesitate, not even for a second.

Chapter Text

In the blink of an eye, it’s Saturday again. Wei Ying wakes a little later, at about ten, and even as he is already awake, he proceeds to close his eyes again to continue his sleep. Outside, it’s showering lightly, the air cool and time feels so slow.

Wei Ying is too comfortable to do anything but snuggling himself under the warm blanket and closing his eyes. Right before he drifts off into slumber, though, Jiang Cheng barges in. It’s an anomaly that he doesn’t say anything, just smacking the door open. Wei Ying’s eyes shoot open due to the surprise, and he sees him massaging his forehead, muttering something under his breath.

“Wei Ying, I swear, I really swear, how could you not wake up at this time—“

He grumbles incoherently, yawning and stretching his body first before answering Jiang Cheng, “Ten isn’t even the usual time I wake during weekends. Don’t try to joke, Jiang Cheng, I know it’s Saturday today,” he leans over to the nightstand to check for the date on his phone. “See? It’s Saturday.”

“Well, Lan Zhan is already downstairs, and you are still in bed, and guess who will be the one to lose face? Me.”

“How is he downstairs? It’s weekend.”

“You—“Jiang Cheng is too speechless to continue. “You have a promise with him! Don’t ask me what it’s about, find out on your own!”

With that, Jiang Cheng storms out. Wei Ying sits on the bed for a moment. Lan Zhan is at his house, it’s not weekday, and Jiang Cheng is certainly not joking – so how do all of those correlate?

The movie.

In an instant, Wei Ying jumps from his bed, dashing to the bathroom to prepare himself. The night before, he had remembered, but completely forgot to set an alarm – even if he had boasted to Jiang Cheng that he would prepare himself for hours to look as ‘the most presentable, dandiest boyfriend out there’ on the day. When time is chasing him right now, he has no choice but to simply wax his hair to be as close as possible to the ‘presentable, dandy boyfriend’ he aspires to be.

He runs downstairs once he’s done, shouting Lan Zhan’s name on the top of his lungs, to which Jiang Cheng shouts back that he should shut up. Lan Zhan looks calm amidst all that chaos, sitting on the living room’s couch silently, not even making a sound when Wei Ying assails him with a hug.

“So, Jiang Cheng, jie-jie is on a date, we are going on a date, how about you?” Wei Ying asks.

Jiang Cheng, says, not looking up from the floor as he vacuums the carpet, “just shut the hell up, won’t you?”

Wei Ying grins. “I wasn’t intending to tease you. I was thinking that, it must be quite lonely to be at home alone, doesn’t it? Why don’t you go with us?”

Jiang Cheng’s expression seems to soften, but only a bit and briefly. He scowls. “No, thank you. I still need to do the dishes and my homework. I’m a responsible son and student, unlike you.”

“Suit yourself,” he rolls his eyes. “Lan Zhan, let’s go.”

Lan Zhan does nothing but stare. Wei Ying tilts his head, confused.

“Ah, Lan Zhan wants a kiss? Outside, let’s do that outside and not when Jiang Cheng is around. Jiang Cheng, see you!” he drags Lan Zhan outside, and, when they are already past the door, Wei Ying stands on his tips to kiss him.

In the middle of the hum of the vacuum cleaner, Jiang Cheng yells, “I can still see that!”

At this point of their relationship, holding hands is no longer a new thing. In reality, they want to do it all the time. Even when they are both under Lan Zhan’s awfully small umbrella, they both still insist to hold hands. They get so wet that they aren’t permitted to enter the cinema, having to dry themselves first using Wei Ying’s handkerchief; it’s a fortunate thing that he always keeps his collection of handkerchief inside his bag.

“We are not late, are we?”

Lan Zhan takes a look at his wristwatch. “The movie starts in one minute.”

“What!”

Wei Ying is well-acquainted with the place, so they are able to find their theater room within a minute. The film is just about to play when they arrive.

YanLi hadn’t told them what the movie is about and Wei Ying didn’t think about looking it up, so when they realize that it’s a horror movie, ghosts and all, neither knows what to do.

“Lan Zhan…should we go out of here now?” Wei Ying whispers. Lan Zhan faces him, also looking uncomfortable. “Lan Zhan, what do you say? If you aren’t scared, we can still watch, but I’m mad scared.”

“If you are scared,” Lan Zhan says softly, soft enough to be unheard in between the loud cinema speakers. “Then let’s leave.”

“But jie-jie gave us the tickets already, wouldn’t it be a waste…”

In the end, Wei Ying gives himself a second thought and decides to stay. Lan Zhan does seem to be afraid, but in a moderate level still, while Wei Ying holds on to Lan Zhan’s arm the entire time, laying his forehead on Lan Zhan’s shoulder. In turn, Lan Zhan strokes his hair lovingly, in attempt of calming Wei Ying down.

“Don’t be scared,” Lan Zhan tells him. “I’m here.”

“Yes, you are, but the suspense is also here!”

In one terrifying scene after a jumpscare – Wei Ying screams louder than anyone else, Lan Zhan flinching – he finally gives up.

“Sorry, that was my last straw,” Wei Ying apologizes. “Wow, I definitely won’t be able to sleep tonight. Lan Zhan, come over tonight and hold me in my sleep!”

“I can’t tonight. I have to accompany my brother to the airport. Sorry, Wei Ying.”

“Ah, no biggie. I was only joking too anyway—“

He is about to say something else, but doesn’t because Lan Zhan suddenly puts his arms around him, pulling him into a tight, and very, very public hug.

“Uh, Lan Zhan. Why so sudden?”

“You can call me tonight if you can’t sleep, at any time.”

“How sweet! But, uh, I love you, but we are in public, you know…”

“Our first kiss was also in public.”

“Well, it was dark at that time!”

Lan Zhan lets him go. He’s smiling. And Wei Ying smiles too.

They have lunch in an overpriced café near the cinema building. When Wei Ying sees the price list in the menu, he prepares himself to swallow his shame and leave the place.

“It’s all right,” Lan Zhan assures him. “I’ll pay.”

“No way, what the heck! You can’t pay all the time!”

“Then let’s have a meal for two.”

Even the double pancake they order isn’t enough for two, despite the price being so amazing. Wei Ying hesitates in eating such expensive food, but when Lan Zhan cuts a huge chunk and feeds it to him, he can’t refuse.

“Aha, you’re so romantic, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Zhan only glances at him, ears red. “Want to add more maple syrup?”

“Yeah, sure. Drown the pancakes, if that suits you.”

In the end, Wei Ying eats one and a half of the pancakes; which is not very much of his fault, because Lan Zhan keeps on feeding him and he simply can’t say no. He feels bad and wants to pay for the entire thing, even if, the case is closed with the two of them splitting the bill – Lan Zhan paying more, because Wei Ying forgets his wallet again and only has the money he keeps inside his phone case.

As if that’s not enough, Lan Zhan also walks Wei Ying home. “Thank you so much for today.”

“Of course. Thank you too. Let’s meet again tomorrow Monday.”

“Mn,” Wei Ying nods. He can see his house from distance. “Lan Zhan, really, thank you so much for treating me especially special today.”

 “I’ll treat you especially special for the rest of my life.”