Work Text:
"Everyone, everyone, please - please pay attention to me," Jeremy said, or hollered, maybe [it was unclear, his voice kind of got louder at random and it was hard to tell what volume he was actually going for], standing as tall as he could, which obviously wasn't any taller than usual, and sort of raising his arm in the air. It successfully got the attention of a handful of people, of which Michael and Trevor were included, who were his friends, so they didn't really count. There was a pause, where the people who looked just kind of stared at him, and right as he was going to lose the attention he said: "Please. Please make sure you know that my boyfriend is the prettiest motherfucker in this whole room. And please respect this."
To make sure everyone knew who he was talking, Jeremy did a sort of stumbly Will Smith pose in Trevor's direction, which was the best he could do at the moment, to be fair.
"Jeremy-" Trevor started, this probably the last thing he wanted, even if he was grinning, as Michael started laughing so loud it got people's attention better than Jeremy's half-hollers.
"Jeremy, you know my boyfriend's way prettier than yours," Michael said, soon as he got enough breath to do so, Trevor floundering a bit - Michael didn't even have a boyfriend.
"Oh no he's not!" Jeremy protested, lifting his arms like he might fight Michael - really?. "I don't know who your boyfriend is, but I gaurentee you he's nowhere near as pretty as mine. Even if he's regular people pretty, no way he's Trevor pretty."
This was successful only in making Trevor blush, which Jeremy didn't notice, too busy using up all his brain cells for whatever this was, and making Michael laugh even more. Someone that might have worked there gave Trevor a look, like he needed to reign Jeremy in, oh did that guy not know what he was suggesting, how impossible that was? Michael's laughter was just getting Jeremy more riled up, even.
"Jeremy, calm down, Michael's fake boyfriend might be extremely pretty, you don't know," Trevor attempted, trying to get Jeremy's arm like that would help, before this worker came over to make a fuss.
Jeremy just whipped around like he was going to fight Trevor now. "He isn't! You take that back! I'll punch you if I need to don't think I won't!"
"Jeremy - Jeremy that sounds way worse than you meant for it to be, I swear to God, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sure he's very ugly," Trevor said, stroking the air [like that might help? who knows] until Jeremy lowered his arms. "But we should get home before you say something to someone less friendly and they call the police."
"The police would understand," Jeremy said, with the most conviction a person could have. Probably no one had ever had that much conviction.
"That's untrue, but okay, maybe so, laws exist, buddy. We gotta go," Trevor said. He successfully got Jeremy's [frankly, gigantic] arm and led him out of the establishment, waving a bye at Michael who returned it, still laughing. A man who felt no remorse. How Trevor found himself friends with him, he didn't know.
Maybe five minutes later, Michael calmed down, finally sipping on his drink he'd hardly touched. "Man, I should go out with those guys more often."