Work Text:
Katsuki huffed into the quiet air of Kirishima's room, the empty, dark, obnoxious room that he'd unknowingly grown familiar with in the past year.
Even now, with all of the lights off and only the vague outlines of furniture or posters to help guide him, Katsuki could've definitely made his way around without stumbling over anything at all - at least maybe if he wasn't so fucking tired.
There was always a lingering question at the back of his mind, or, well, the front of his mind- he could only wish he was able to push it back so that he could have the chance to take a breath and focus on literally anything else. Anything other than his asshole of a best friend.
Katsuki heard it each time his fingers brushed against Kirishima's when they walked side by side. He felt it breathe down his neck when the redhead threw an arm around his shoulders with a welcoming grin on his face.
Eventually, when he was leant against Kirishima's side with the others arms wrapped loosely around him, plenty of chance for him to escape the others hold if he wished, Katsuki heard it again, a small temptation for his mind to wander.
‘Are you really just friends?’
The way Kirishima held him didn’t feel like it.
Although, maybe that was just how badly he wanted it to be true, how desperate he had become while letting someone grow this close to him.
Maybe it was just the fact that he was half asleep, his practically dead weight leant against Kirishima's warm body as the redhead sleepily glared down at his too-bright Nintendo DS screen. Katsuki hadn’t been paying attention to what he was playing, too wrapped up in his thoughts as soon as Kirishima had touched his skin to comprehend anything else.
Kirishima's eyes were puffy, whether that be from the amount he had just wept into Katsukis now damp shoulder, or the 2 hours of sleep he had gotten beforehand, he strained to keep them open against the small illuminated device. He had his bottom lip between razor sharp teeth, chewing away at his chapped and pink and soft looking skin.
Katsuki was so warm, so comfortable.
He let his eyelids fall closed as Kirishima continued to struggle to keep his narrowed eyes trained down at his screen.
Seemingly having noticed Katsuki's evened out breathing, he shifted, because he was a stupid asshole and Katsuki swore he would beat his ass in the morning- Katsuki forced one eye open at the disruptive movement. The redhead wore a tired smile, his features altered slightly by the bizzare lighting the DS projected.
When he spoke, his voice was croaky and unsused and way too fucking loud in comaprison to just how quiet it had been, soft melodic music from whatever stupid game the redhead had been playing the only thing Katsuki had left in his head. He thought that if he ever heard the song again, his heart would turn to molten metal on the spot, a reminder of just how tender this moment in time felt.
As soon as he opened his mouth, Katsuki wanted him to stop talking, to close his mouth and go back to tugging at his chapped lip. But it was Kirishima, and at second thought, Katsuki really didn’t want that.
“Are you tired?”
“No.” Katsuki grumbled without a hint of hesitation.
But he really fucking was, he could just about collapse at any given moment.
It was way past the usual time he went to sleep. He was worn out and wanted nothing more than to shove his face into his pillow and scream until he had nothing left, no thoughts of Kirishima, no energy to even ponder over such pointless things as the concept of friendship and the line he and the redhead had no doubt crossed.
He hated Kirishima and hated himself and god did he hate that stupid soft music that was playing.
He hated that he couldn’t even fucking shut his eyes without seeing everything he’d worked so hard to overcome. He hated that he couldn’t get a nights rest without waking to crackling palms. He went to therapy for a goddamn reason, wasn’t everything supposed to be fixed? Wasn’t he supposed to be okay by now?
Katsuki dug his face further into Kirishima's shoulder and definitey did not notice when he only held him closer.
The situation wasn’t unusual, far from it. Katsuki's mind had grown to become increasingly antsy at night time, especially once his head was on the pillow and the lights were out.
Kirishima understood, he always fucking had.
He understood the loud explosions that disturbed the peace of the night, he understood just how softly to knock on the wall between them and he understood just how tightly to pull him close once Katsuki swung open his door.
And yeah, Katsuki understood too, because Kirishima had gone through just as much as him and sometimes he needed to be held just as closely. He’d ignore the thunder in his chest and press him close to his heart, pretend that Kirishima couldn’t hear it and that he himself had no clue.
He knew how Kirishima's arms felt around him, and he knew why they felt that way, why it hurt a little bit more whenever he held Katsuki like this.
Tired and pining was really not a good mix of emotions for Katsuki, clearly.
He felt Kirishima's hair tickling his neck and dug his fingers into his sweapants, clenching the material so he wouldn’t reach out and finally find out just how soft it felt through his fingers.
He may have been half asleep but he was fucking self aware damn it.
Or at least, he had thought.
He felt eyes on the side of his face, burning into his skin, trying to get into his head, so he turned to glare up at Kirishima. His tired attempt at a smile was still there. Katsuki licked his lips, not missing the way the others eyes trailed the movement.
“Fuck you lookin’ at, shitty hair?”
The smile grew, and Kirishima huffed a laugh to himself as he placed down the DS.
“Nothing, just-- you're such a liar, dude. You look like you haven't slept in weeks." He paused, gazing at Katsuki as if he looked anything but. "Staying up really isn't your thing, huh?”
Katsuki blinked for the fleeting moment of silence that passed, his eyebrows furrowing the more he stared.
“I could literally beat you up right now.” He scowled.
“Yeah.” Kirishima sighed, seemingly unfazed by the threat.
It was more of a warning than Katsuki had ever been known to give, a not so subtle way of allowing Kirishima to not be caught off guard.
There was another pause. Kirishima looked down at him with a smug expression.
So naturally, Katsuki took the opportunity to disturb the content silence, jumping from his spot and tackling the redhead in one swift movement. He didn't use his quirk, because Katsuki was a good fucking friend and didn't actually want to destroy the guys bedroom. Besides, the moment felt too domestic for explosions (he'd have time to cringe over that thought later).
Choked laughter could be heard bouncing throughout the room, pleads of ‘wait’ and ‘Bakugou!’ being thrown around at a careless volume while Kirishima continued to kick and shove and dodge until Katsuki landed on top of him, knee dug into his stomach. Kirishima groaned in pain, though he was probably just being dramatic. Sleeping classmates be damned.
Katsuki's breaths came heavy, syncing with Kirishima's worn out ones. Katsuki did not remember getting this close but there he was and Kirishima only stared up at him with the same smug expression he wore before being tackled.
Katsuki decided to ignore it, letting a victorious smile break through. Kirishima kept laughing, bright and warm and so him. He was the only person in the world who would be shaking with laughter during and after getting his ass handed to him. Katsuki huffed a laugh himself, somewhat amused.
Maybe it should have been intimidating, somewhat thought over before it happened, but Katsuki leant further down until his forehead was pressed flush against his best friends. Neither payed the lack of distance any mind, focused on having a half-assed staring contest. Kirishima's small grin was still there, only inches away from Katsuki's.
He briefly wondered how it would feel to make the smug grin disppear with the press of his lips. He wondered if Kirishima was a good kisser, if he had ever kissed anyone before and if it was normal to think about your friends this way.
Katsuki shifted, moving his palm that was once flat against the mattress and onto the side of Kirishima's neck. The redhead gulped, exhaling an audibly shaky breath.
Katsuki was tired, so he followed his instinct and angled his head so that his lips could meet Kirishima's.
It was quick, hardly considered a kiss and more of a brush of lips, but Kirishima's eyes were as wide as they would have been if Katsuki had just proposed on the spot.
He blinked up at him. Katsuki blinked right back, well aware of the heat in his cheeks and thankful for the dim light that gave him a chance Kirishima hadn’t noticed.
He had done it without thinking, not a hint of hesitation or concern for the aftermath.
The words were right there, some stuck in his dry throat, some on the very tip of his tongue. Katsuki kept his mouth closed, because he would’ve been caught dead before he was caught spewing some awkward attempt at feelings to his best friend at 2 in the fucking morning. Hell, he was half convinced he had no feelings to spill in the first place.
So he kept his mouth shut and his eyes trained on the redhead, waiting for a response while desperately not wanting it to come.
Kirishima, apparently having been woken from his daze, leaned in just as Katsuki had, pressing his forehead to the blondes. Surely they both had a fever, because their skin was simply too hot to be healthy, their faces too flushed.
Kirishima was uncharacteristically silent, and it had Katuski on edge for a moment. He screwed his eyes shut and listened to the loud thumping of Kirishima's heart in his chest. Why was he so nervous?
Then, he felt warm hands on his back, pulling him flush against Kirishima's body, soothing Katsuki's aching muscles.
Katsuki felt the anxiety in his stomach fade away ever so slowly.
When his face was held in those very same hands and a tender kiss was pressed to his forehead he didn’t think to question it. His sleep ridden brain was convinced that this was normal friendship behaviour and he never wanted it to end. He peaked a glance at Kirishima's face to be presented with the softest smile he’d seen in a long time, full of dimples and fondness. The scar on his right eyelid stood out under the lighting he lay beneath, and Katsuki reached out to press his fingertips to it. Kirishima's eyes fluttered closed on instinct.
Katsuki knew how he'd gotten the scar, the entire anticlimactic story. He knew a hell of a lot about Kirishima in general because the guy had never learned to shut the hell up, but Katsuki was grateful he knew so much, he was glad he had met him, because despite his tacky hair and loud mouth; Kirishima was a good friend.
'Are you really just friends?'
Katsuki swallowed the lump in his throat.
He wondered if things would make sense in the morning, if they would even talk about any of it.