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One thing Regina didn’t realize before she had a child of her own was how they are very much creatures of habit.
Roland, and it seems many of those in his age group, thrive on a strict routine. And adhering to a strict routine (on the advice of a pediatrician) is how they finally got a bouncy, restless toddler to sleep through the night without a fight, to get ready for daycare without a tantrum.
The morning routine was easier to deal with, as Regina’s job has set hours and very few special projects that make for late nights or early morning. Robin’s routine, of course, is a bit different, and he’s mostly been cut out of the equation, given the fact the may be out of the house before it’s time to get Roland ready or may still be in bed from the night before.
Regina settles into a morning routine where she quickly showers, puts on makeup, sets out her clothes for the day downstairs, then slips into underthings and a robe and wakes up Roland, then readies him for the day. When breakfast is over and clothes are on, Roland watches fifteen minutes of a short television show while Regina slips into her clothes and grabs their bags for the day.
After about a week, he settles into it, and she rarely has to fight him on anything in the morning. He even seems happy with the change.
It’s not always easy for two working parents to keep their evening schedule, however. Different meals have different preparation times, Regina prefers to eat together with her husband, but Robin’s job has him home at different times each day.
She settles into it as best she can. Roland eats around 6 PM every day, usually a meal prepared just for him, something quick and easy (she swore she never would give children separate meals and yet, here she is). He gets a small dessert and then a half hour of play. She had to switch to daily maths to make the routine set, so then it’s a bath, followed by slathering him in lotion to protect his poor overwashed skin, and then it’s teeth brushing, picking out pajamas, then putting them on over a pullup on, reading one book with Robin, and them kissing goodnight on the forehead.
That’s the routine. Simple, clean and easy.
What she didn’t realize is how strictly Roland has come to rely on this routine, and how one minor change leads to a whole new set of rules. It starts one day when she realizes that she doesn’t have any clean pajamas for Roland, and has to throw them in the drier while he eats, plays, and bathes. After his bath, they take a simple detour to the drier to get his pajamas.
He doesn’t complain, but the next day when he gets out of the bath he runs naked towards the drier, giggling as he opens it and peers inside at nothing.
She tries to break the habit, but it won’t break. Every day, after his bath, he also runs to the drier, peers in, and then follows her back to brush his teeth and get ready for bed.
Then there is the time Robin is on a work trip. He calls to say goodnight just as they are settling into storytime, and Regina puts her husband on facetime so he can say his goodnights to Roland.
And from that day forward Roland insists on taking Regina’s phone out before storytime and looking at a video of his daddy.
Even if said daddy is right next to him, assuring him he has the real thing and doesn’t need a video.
But Roland is stubborn, and neither one of them want another restless night where Roland fights sleep to spite them, so they let it happen.
One day, he flops down on his toddler bed and bounces on the bed a bit, and Regina laughs, and makes the critical error of tickling him.
Another essential element of the routine is created.
And so it goes.
It’s 7:26 PM and they are reading a book to Roland, exhausted (as they are every night these days) but almost to the end of the nightly routine.
“Goodnight, little dinosaur,” Robin whispers to his son.
“Night night,” Roland whispers as Regina ducks down to kiss him on the cheek.
Robin follows with a forehead kiss.
And then Roland looks at them very pointedly and Robin just looks confused.
“We have to kiss,” Regina murmurs, “you kissed me yesterday, it’s part of the routine now.”
Robin laughs and murmurs, “What a travesty” before kissing her lips like he had yesterday.
Roland points to the blinds next, and yes, they know this part of it. There had been a loud noise and Robin couldn’t help himself, he had to check outside the window to see what it is.
He does it while Regina takes her place by the door and flips the light off, then on, then to pick up an imaginary toy that had once fallen but no longer is on the ground, then shuts it off for good.
“Noooo!!!” Roland screeches when they are midway to the door.
“Crap, what did we forget?” Regina asks, running through the changes in her head.
“MommmAAAA!!!” Roland screams, holding out his arms.
Oh no, had she accidentally hugged him goodnight a second time last night?”
“You’re too affectionate,” Robin laughs. “Adding kisses and hugs here and there without even realizing it. I always liked that about you. Didn’t know it would end up getting us int trouble.”
“We need a spreadsheet,” Regina sighs, going back to hug Roland goodnight, trying not to do anything too out of the ordinary like smoothing his hair.
Roland lets them leave finally, and as they walk out the door into the hallway, Regina nearly collapses in both laughter and frustration.
“I love that he just goes to sleep now and we aren’t up all night answer his screams,” Robin chuckles, “but soon there won’t be enough hours in the day to get everything right. Why do we have to put his pajama shirt on backward now?”
“Because last week I accidentally put his shirt on wrong and that mistake has been destined to haunt me forever,” Regina sighs.
“And is there a reason he is hopping when he gets into the bedroom now?”
“Honestly, I don’t know, that’s one part of this mess I don’t have to participate in and I am not questioning it,” Regina sighs.
“This has to change,” Robin laughs. “For our own sanity. And for his sleep. We used to put him in bed a half hour ago.”
“I know,” Regina grimaces. “I’m just not looking forward to fighting him again. He’s miserable when he doesn’t get his sleep. And he’ so stubborn, and so…. I don’t know. Particular”
“Can we pretend this is a sign of intelligence?” Robin asks, “I mean he can remember specific details I can’t remember, that has to be something other than stubborn and ungodly annoying, right?”
“Yes, perhaps it means that our son is a genius,” Regina sighs as she walks towards the kitchen and opens a bottle of wine. “Lucky us. Why couldn’t you be dumber? You and your stupid superior genetics.”
Robin grabs his own glass of wine and smiles at her. “We’re going to figure this out. There’s got to be a way to fix this so his routine isn’t a nightmare but he still, you know, sleeps.”
“What if it’s a sign he’s….” Regina trails off. “I mean, like Dustin Hoffman in Rainman. He could have a serious issue, this… this can’t be normal.”
But Robin doesn’t look worried at all. He just shrugs.
“I think all toddlers act a little like this. Don’t worry about that. Worry about the lack of sleep we’re getting and our toddler inherited our stubbornness. Those are far more difficult problems.”
The order a pizza that night and drink wine and watch television. Regina passes out before ten PM, exhausted and worried, but also determined to change things before this routine takes complete control of their lives.
It takes a few books and research, but they find other children with the same problem as Roland, and a few tutorials for how to stip a lengthy bedtime routine into a simple one.
It’s not easy. The first few nights are torture, but they press on. It turns out Roland is much less obsessed with a perfectly replicated routine when he’s offered small choices. So they add that and take away the obstacle course of tasks they had gradually accumulated, and Roland adjusts rather quickly.
Though he still hops on his way to bed every night.
As much as Regina cannot help but overthink things, she decides to let this little eccentric habit go. When Roland finds something he likes, he won’t so easily quit it without a fight. It’s a trait he shares with his father, she thinks.
And that’s certainly brought nothing but good luck into her life, so she can handle a little hopping here and there.