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Misty found the pet item shop when she was walking her iguana, Stevie, downtown. He’d found dandelions on the sidewalk and strayed from his favorite path.
On the narrow quiet street, the shop had a sign that said Grand Opening All 50% Off . There was a cat tower--a potentially fantastic shelving unit for her shack--displayed in the showcase. Another sign was on the glass. WE DO NOT SELL ANIMALS. ONLY PET ITEMS . She liked the shop on the spot.
“What do you think, Stevie? Wanna go in?”
He kept munching on dandelions that were growing in abandon. She picked him up, putting him on the shoulder, and let the entrance bell ring.
Their products were mostly for dogs and cats like any other places. But she found it satisfactory enough that they still had a small section for reptiles. Bowls, supplements, brushes, and the like. The supermarket she worked at had supplements for Stevie, but the department had an annoying middle-aged woman that she’d rather stay away from. This place wasn’t far from her shack. She could be a regular customer here.
It was when she heard a loud buzzing sound. She looked up and saw a woman in an apron standing by her side. The woman smiled and said something-- Or it could’ve been Misty’s imagination. It was hard to tell with the swarm of the butterflies around her, almost engulfing her entire upper body and face.
"I'm sorry. Did you say something?" Misty said.
The woman moved her mouth, but she couldn't hear. The buzzing of the creatures was too loud. She had to wing it.
“I’m not looking for anything, thank you.”
The woman didn’t walk away.
Should’ve gone with ‘I’m fine ,’ Misty thought.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I sometimes turn deaf. Looks like this is one of these moments.”
The woman began moving her hands in sign language, then. She pointed at Stevie on her shoulder at one point, and that was the only thing Misty understood.
Of course, that’s what you get for bullshitting.
To her relief, the shop staff walked off without waiting for her response.
Putting the bottle of supplements back on the shelf, Misty fled the shop as if she was a shoplifter. No way she could go up to the counter to face the woman after that.
She wasn’t proud of the lie, though it wasn’t entirely a false statement, either. She really couldn’t hear her. In the twenty-something years of her life, she had never met a person with the butterflies of such intensity. Each were small. Still, all of them combined, they would shatter the woman’s heart and drown her soul someday.
Part of her hoped to never run into the woman. Another part of her could only think about her.
…
Misty sat in the outside seat of a local sandwich place with Stevie in her lap and took a sip of bubble tea. It was Wednesday, so she had a Green Milk bubble tea. Starbucks or fancy cafes didn’t appeal to her, but if they had good bubble tea, she would happily be manipulated into visiting them everyday.
It was a vice approved by Stevie, too. He liked tapioca because it looked like grapes. He would try to eat it through the glass and get puzzled by the transparent barrier.
Passers-by looked at him with curious eyes. Two large drooling dogs had come dashing to get a sniff at him in the past hour. It wasn’t a bad day.
And, as she sucked one tapioca up the straw, her eyes caught the figure of the butterfly-engulfed woman, walking out with a tray of food. Even if she was kilometres away in a large crowd, Misty certainly could never fail to spot her.
Perhaps, the woman recognized her as well. Coming over and rendering Misty’s hearing again, she gestured to the table.
Despite not understanding, Misty gave a nod out of instinct, and the woman sat down.
Misty looked around. All the other tables seemed to be occupied both inside and outside the restaurant.
Something moved in her peripheral vision, so she turned her head back around. When the woman got her full attention, she signed and gestured at Stevie. Try as she might, it was impossible for Misty to guess the meaning. It was time she gave up the pretence with good grace while she had it.
"I'm really sorry, but I don't understand sign language." Misty kept looking down at the scaly skin of Stevie, feeling too embarrassed.
A hand came into her vision again. When Misty looked up, the woman handed her a smartphone with the memo app open.
‘Don’t apologize. Just said your iguana was precious,’ it said.
“Thank you. His name is Stevie. After Stevie Nicks, of course.” She gave her the phone back. The butterflies nearly smacked her in the face as she leaned in.
The woman typed in again. ‘Does he like to be outside often?’
Misty nodded. “The owner of this place loves animals. He’s okay with Stevie as long as we sit outside.”
‘He’s certainly the most unique animal here. I recognized you because of him.’
Misty couldn’t think of a response, so she drank her bubble tea. The woman, too, bit into her sandwich, though it looked more like it was swallowed by a black hole of butterflies.
If only the woman had fewer of them, if only Misty could see her face and hear her voice, it would've been so much easier to ignore. But now she couldn’t just employ her internet-obtained formula of small talk and mind her own goddamn business like usual.
“So, your shop. When did you open?”
The woman held the index finger up.
“A week ago?”
She shook her head, disturbing the creatures.
“A month?”
She gave a nod.
“It must be hard to run a business,” Misty said.
Some of the yellow butterflies flapped their wings more strongly.
‘It never gets busy like I'd hoped,’ she said, ‘but I get by. Has always been my dream to own a pet shop.’
“That’s good.”
And silence. Not a minute had passed, and this conversation ran into a dead-end. They both took refuge in their food again.
Not that Misty didn’t have questions. They were just too personal to ask someone who she had just met. Yet, a relationship couldn't be developed without getting personal. This was a great dilemma. This was exactly why she didn’t do reckless things like this. For the first time in her life, she wished the woman was the over-sharing type.
The woman handed her the smartphone. ‘Are you from here? I’m new. Can you recommend some places?’
“Eating places or other kinds?”
‘Anything will do.’
“I don't go out a lot,” Misty said. “I only know this one old baker that has great bagels and the swamp.”
With the creatures obscuring her face, Misty failed to see the disappointment that must have been there.
‘What about the festival? Been there before?’ the woman said.
Misty looked up from the screen, and the woman pointed at the flamboyant posters on the restaurant windows. The annual riverside music festival was on this weekend according to it.
Misty shook her head. “I once went to one in my hometown, but not here.”
The woman took some time to type in this time.
Misty didn’t want to mindlessly stare and make her feel rushed, so she watched her iguana instead. The glass of bubble tea was empty. His current target was a napkin. So far, it looked like he was losing.
When the woman showed her the phone screen at last, there was only one short sentence.
‘Wanna go with me?’
This was a great idea. Misty agreed.
They exchanged their numbers. Misty found out her name was Cordelia.
---
There were lots of people at the festival. More people than Misty had thought there were in New Orleans. What’s more, it would be more crowded as it got dark. Misty regretted her decision to come.
Cordelia showed up ten minutes before their meeting time. In the dusk, the creatures omitted a hazy glow. Misty snaked her way through the crowd to her.
Cordelia made a sign with one hand, pointing at her.
“I can’t hear you still,” Misty said.
Cordelia brought her phone close to her face, then. But after some moments, it became apparent that she was having trouble with it. She continued to fiddle with the phone, but she ended up typing in.
‘Found a dictation app, but it doesn’t work. Was fine when I tried at home.’
“It doesn’t function well in noisy places,” Misty said.
‘Thought we could communicate better.’
“We’ll go somewhere quieter after getting food.”
So, they first stood in line for some barbecue ribs, the smell of its sauce making Misty’s mouth water. It was a messy line, though. Nobody really knew who was in it and who just happened to be standing there.
Cordelia put her hand on Misty’s back. Misty turned her head around and saw a man cut through the line behind them. And when it was their turn to order, Cordelia took the initiative in talking to the vendors.
They found a quiet place closer to the water after getting their barbecue ribs and sweet potato beignets. It was peaceful. What with the already loud venue and the buzzing creatures, the inside of Misty’s head was pounding like in a club.
Cordelia moved her hands on either side of her head and pointed at Misty.
“My head?” Misty said. “I just have a mild migraine.”
Cordelia opened the dictation app, ‘Do you want to go home?’
“I’m fine. Happens all the time.” Misty gave her one of the two paper boats of beignets in exchange for her share of barbecue ribs.
‘Tell me if it gets worse, okay?’
Misty gave her a nod and ate.
There were fireflies on the other side of the river, glowing in an ephemeral light. Their lives were short and fragile. Misty wished they could take away a fraction of the butterfly creatures’ tenacity and longevity.
Cordelia showed her the phone screen. ‘These beignets are good.’
Misty nodded. “The dictation app was a wonderful idea. I didn’t know why I hadn’t come up with it.”
‘I did some research.’
"Where did you learn to sign?" Misty said. "Do you have anyone close to you that needs it?"
‘No. It’s an embarrassing story.'
“How so?”
The creatures let out a low hum. 'I used to have this mean deaf neighbor when I was little. I never knew what he was angry about, but he always yelled incoherent things at me. So, I learned to sign in order to ask him why he hated me so much.'
“What did he say?”
'Not-so-nice things. Vulgar things I didn't understand at the time.'
“Oh--”
‘Yeah.’
“But it's impressive you still remember it. I wasn't bad at French, but everything I learned in school is now gone, totally.”
‘I kept learning after that,’ Cordelia said. ‘It’s not the fault of sign language that the neighbor was nasty. And . . .’ The cursor on the app blinked, waiting. ‘I stuttered as a child. I liked that I could be understood without verbally speaking, you know? My mother thought it’d make me more pathetic, though.’
Misty could easily picture little Cordelia, already clad in the butterflies at an early age.
“Your mother is wrong,” she sad. “I don’t know anything about her, but I know she’s the pathetic one.”
From behind the veil of the creatures, Cordelia offered a tiny smile. ‘I imagine you were the type of kid with many friends.’
Misty couldn’t help her laugh. “You think?”
‘You seem comfortable with yourself. People like that.’
“No, I was the quiet one. I did have classmates to play with after school sometimes, but I wouldn’t call them friends.”
‘Why?’
“The definition of a friend in children’s world is too broad, isn’t it? Just because you say you’re friends, you’re friends, even if you know nothing but their name.”
The creatures buzzed. ‘Isn’t that how it works?’
“Not for me. I can’t explain it. It just isn’t.”
For some moments Cordelia continued to poke at her last barbecue rib with a fork. ‘Maybe that’s why I've never been good at it, making friends,’ she said.
“No?”
‘Especially now that I’m older. People come and stay for ulterior motives most of the time.’
“Yeah,” Misty said. “Do you? Have an ulterior motive?”
‘No. Of course, not.’
“Good. Neither do I.”
She did, though, as she realized later that night. She wanted to do something about the butterflies, and being her friend was one step of the process. It wasn't malicious or fraudulent. Still, she wondered if she'd stay with Cordelia when she actually managed to vanish her butterflies.
...
The dictation app didn’t work at the busy cafe. But after trying several different apps, Cordelia found one that handled background noise very well. It was called Dragon Anywhere , a subscription-based app. A cool name, but the price wasn’t.
“I should pay half the price,” Misty said. “It’s too expensive.”
Cordelia never agreed.
The veil of butterflies remained thick. Misty knew an overnight transformation was an impossible thing to wish for. She didn't know how long it would take. A year, maybe a decade. It didn’t matter.
It became their habit to meet for lunch on Misty’s off days. She converted Cordelia into a proper bubble-tea enthusiast. In return, Cordelia taught her that radishes were a legitimate ingredient for sandwiches and not a foreign substance. Stevie grew fond of her, too, and often begged to sit in her lap.
Usually, Misty arrived before the lunch time to get a table for the two of them.
On this certain day, it was her coworker that sat in Cordelia’s seat.
"Hey, great seeing you," he said. "What are you doing out here?"
"Waiting for someone."
"Right. I was buying food for my mother. What species of iguana is that?" He pointed at Stevie.
"He's a regular green iguana."
"Does he bite? Some species have venom, you know?"
"He's not venomous. He's actually very calm."
He hummed a response, but showed no sign of leaving.
From what Misty heard from her boss, this guy’s social awkwardness came from many years of social withdrawal. He worked at the supermarket twice a week as part of his rehabilitation.
Misty didn't hate him, and she certainly didn't want to sound harsh and push him back into withdrawal. She simply hoped he'd take the social cue and leave when Cordelia came.
He pointed at her glass of bubble tea. "Tapioka is just balls of starch. Did you know that? It has next to zero nutritional value."
"Yes, I know that."
It was when Cordelia appeared with her food tray. What her coworker said this time was consequently drowned out by her butterflies. As she came to their table, he looked up at her, saying hello, and thankfully got up to leave.
Cordelia sat in the same seat and leaned in.
"I can't hear you. What did you say?" Misty said.
The creatures whizzed. Still, Cordelia spoke without the aid of the app.
"Miss Cordelia, I really need you to use the Dragon app. I don't understand what you're saying."
But instead, Cordelia stood up and walked away from the cafe, leaving her sandwiches untouched.
Misty had no idea what had happened. The only certain thing was that the creatures were flying like a tornado, and her ears were ringing.
The cafe owner came to her with a frown. "Is everything okay?"
"I don't know. Did it look like it was okay? I'm not trying to be sarcastic. I really couldn't tell."
He shrugged. "She was crying, so . . ."
"She was? Shit--" She stood up. "I gotta go. Could I have this to go?"
After having Cordelia’s food wrapped up, Misty put Stevie on her shoulder and headed for the pet shop.
Nothing she had said could've possibly been upsetting. There was a misunderstanding, she knew that. Still, her stomach churned at the possibility that this could generate another butterfly into Cordelia’s orbit.
The shop door was locked with the CLOSED sign on.
Misty put a hand over her eyes to look inside the showcase glass. Nothing was moving. A few knocks on the glass. No answer.
So, she texted her, Miss Cordelia, please let me in if you're inside. Let me apologize for whatever it is I did.
The message remained unread for a while. And, she felt a presence inside the shop. Cordelia stood at the counter, her arms crossed in front of her chest. But she remained there.
Misty gestured to the door. "Please," she said, putting the flat right hand over her chest and moving it clockwise. Please in sign language. It was one of the several signs Cordelia had taught her.
It successfully got her to unlock the door.
“Thank you.” Misty walked in, left Stevie by the window to bask, and turned back to Cordelia. “Please, I never meant to upset you. Tell me what I did.”
Still, Cordelia had her arms crossed in front of her chest, shrinking her shoulders.
“Did you say something? I can’t hear.”
Cordelia shook her head. Her lips were moving.
At this point, it started to irritate Misty. “Please use the app. I don’t understand if you keep talking like that.”
At last, Cordelia took her phone out. ‘I asked why you’re pretending to be deaf.’
Misty couldn’t believe her eyes. “Pretending? I’m not pretending.”
‘You were talking with the man without a problem. I saw it. But when I show up, suddenly you can’t hear. How do you expect me to still buy your lie?’
Misty should've known this would happen sooner or later, but she hadn’t. That’d be her poor foresight.
“I swear to you,” Misty said. “It’s not a lie--”
Cordelia brought the screen too close to Misty’s face for her liking. ‘If you don’t want to hang out with me, just say so. How difficult can it be?’
“If that was my goal, I'd make some excuse and avoid you. I've done that.” Misty took a deep breath. “Okay-- I admit there was an omission of truth.”
Cordelia began to walk away at that.
Misty took hold of her hand. “No, let me explain.” But the inside of her head was a jumbled-up mess. “I become temporarily deaf. That’s what I said when we met. This is a fact . . . but it doesn’t happen randomly. It only happens with you around-- It sounds like a lie, I know. But you have this energy that’s too loud. It deafens me and hides your face. I don’t know how else to explain. Please believe me.”
Never had she ever told anybody about this ability--a gift or a curse--in her whole life. And letting it manifest as words felt so much different from simple internal acknowledgement. It became a concrete reality. That frightened her.
Cordelia’s response was to take steps forward. Instead of stopping in front of Misty, however, she kept going and walked past her. She messed up. Now she’d forever be one of the many assholes that had trampled on Cordelia’s already fragile confidence.
However, as she turned around, Misty saw someone at the door, talking to Cordelia.
She wasn’t going to kick her out. Yet.
Not knowing what to do, Misty sat by the window with Stevie.
After the visitor left, Cordelia came up to her. She remained motionless for some moments before speaking to her phone. ‘You really can’t hear.’
Misty shook my head.
‘Are you psychic?’
“Maybe. Never thought about putting a label. I just see people's negative energy.”
‘It’s just when I’m with you?’
She gave a nod.
‘Okay,’ Cordelia said. ‘I believe you, though I don’t understand it.’
“Really?”
Cordelia nodded.
“Thank you.” Misty felt tears well up, spilling before she had time to hold them back.
Cordelia stood before the crying girl and, with her hand behind the head of messy curls, gently led her into an embrace.
With her head pressed against Cordelia’s stomach, Misty cried harder.
...
She had to leave the pet shop to take a nap before the night shift. Later at work, Cordelia texted to check upon her.
Thank you for believing me today , Misty texted back.
Cordelia: It’s the only thing I can do. I know how it feels to have people doubt you.
Misty: I've never told anybody about it. Glad it was you.
Cordelia: And no one has ever been so sincere with me. You don't tell me a lot about yourself. I want you to share more with me.
There wasn't a lot worth sharing, but Misty texted, I'll try. You’re my friend. Don't have any doubt in it.
Cordelia’s speech bubble blinked, disappeared, and blinked again. Okay .
…
This revelation gave Misty some sort of a relief she didn't know she needed, as well as bringing her closer to Cordelia. She realized now, that deep down there was a sense of guilt for her ability even though it wasn't her fault.
The heavy feeling still remained, deep rooted in her psyche. But she trusted Cordelia. That was an important difference.
So, when Cordelia asked to visit her apartment, Misty had little hesitation. There was something Cordelia had for Stevie, apparently.
A couple of days later, Cordelia came in with a large paper bag.
‘You said that his birthday was close,’ she said, taking out a green iguana plush toy.
"Oh, he'll love it. Let's see if he's in the mood for playing. He just took a nap, so he should be fine."
He didn't make a fuss as Misty touched him. So, she took him out of the cage and put him on the floor. He wiggled around the room, paying little attention to the toy, even when Cordelia placed it in his way.
He doesn't like it , she signed.
"He'll come back. Dangle it in the air. Give it a little shake.”
She did, and Stevie returned after finishing his compulsory patrol. His sharp eyes focused on the target. As Cordelia wiggled the toy again, he lept, latched onto it with his mouth, and swang it, Rock ‘n’ Roll style.
Cordelia laughed. The butterflies quieted down for a second.
After a while, he resumed his exploration, satisfied with the toy.
Cordelia fished another plush toy of a green frog and a bottle of supplements. 'I seem to have gone a bit over the top,' she said.
"Oh, Miss Cordelia, you shouldn't have."
'I wanted to spoil him. I love him like my own child.'
There was nothing Misty could say to that. "He loves you like you're his mom, too."
With a smile, Cordelia put the phone on the floor downward. Their code for a little quiet time. As long as the screen was concealed, Cordelia would stay silent. Misty had no need to constantly worry whether or not she'd said something.
In time, though, Cordelia’s fingers started tapping against her knee. Misty flipped the phone over so she could speak.
'I got a new haircut. What do you think?' She raised her hand to touch her hair.
Misty only got a glimpse of light blonde. "I can't see. I'm sorry. Can you describe it?"
After a little pondering, Cordelia picked her phone up and showed Misty a picture of a long-haired woman in front of a mirror. She quickly retracted her phone.
'Can you see?' she said.
Misty nodded. "Is that how your hair looks, too?"
'No, it's shorter now. I took this photo a couple of months ago.’
At that, Misty’s brain short-circuited. “That woman is you?”
Yes , she signed.
“Let me see again.”
She obliged, albeit with obvious reservation.
Misty examined the photo more closely. “Holy shit, you are beautiful.”
She shook her head.
“You are. I had no idea.”
She took the phone back. 'Can you really see my face? Maybe it's blurred in your vision.'
“I can see very clearly. Those things don't show in photos or videos-- Wait.” An idea popped up in her mind. “Do you have a video chat app?”
Cordelia’s slender finger pointed at the icon of Skype on her screen.
They found each other's account, and when they were connected, the same face from the picture appeared on Misty’s phone screen.
“Yes! I Can see you!" She turn her head to smile at Cordelia next to me, still clad in the creatures.
The other version of her on the screen moved her lips. It was still too loud. So, Misty walked out onto the veranda and closed the doors. The buzzing noise was relatively shut out with the glass doors between them.
"Can you say it again?" Misty said.
“I said, it feels strange.”
“I think it's even more strange for me. I've never seen your face or heard your voice before today.”
She giggled. “How does my voice sound?”
“Lower than I thought,” Misty said. “But I can definitely get used to it.”
On Cordelia’s face a bashful smile that made Misty high with something tingling and sour.
...
It became their daily routines to talk on Skype since then. Misty never understood people who talked for hours on end on the phone or in real life. It was still mystifying to her. But with Cordelia, it no longer felt like a chore.
Every time Misty saw her face and heard her voice, her existence grew more solid in Misty’s world, became less of some kind of a surreal entity. It felt like as if the protagonist from her favorite book came to life in a live-action adaptation.
There was another change. Since Cordelia had discovered Misty’s so-called wretched diet, she often visited her apartment to cook actual food for her. There were now unidentifiable apparatuses and tools in her kitchen. The fridge had whole, unprocessed vegetables for the first time. She moved around the apartment with ease, as if she was a resident. Misty liked that.
But it all stopped without a warning as she disappeared from the town. It wouldn't have alarmed Misty if Cordelia had told her something, a text or a phone call. Yet, nothing. All of Misty’s calls and requests on Skype went unanswered.
After a week, a text message came from her.
I had to go home to see mother. Sorry .
That was all.
Misty never really experienced the sentiment of missing someone in her life. Even the death of her granny, the closest person she had to a guardian, that happened almost two decades ago didn't rouse the feeling as far as she could remember. She sometimes wondered if her brain lacked something important.
But maybe, this hollow sensation in Cordelia’s absence was it. Just maybe.
Then, after another week, Cordelia returned, unannounced, cooking in her kitchen as if nothing had happened. Misty knew, though, that something major had happened. Some of the creatures seemed to have disappeared.
“Did you make up with your mother?” Misty said.
No , Cordelia signed.
Misty waited a little more, but Cordelia added nothing. "Aren't you going to tell me about it, then?“
The knife in her hand stopped just above the fish on the cutting board. 'I was going to after the meal,' she said and resumed her cooking.
So, Misty didn't press her anymore, staying off the subject during the meal. And if Cordelia wanted to pretend she had forgotten about it after that, Misty was going to go long with it.
After Misty had finished doing the dishes, however, Cordelia made her sit.
'So, you need an explanation,' she said.
“I thought you were gone for good."
Sorry , she signed. 'I needed time to think.'
"About what?"
'About my life, my feelings. I-- My husband cheated on me.'
A funny voice came out of Misty’s throat. "I didn't know you were married."
'I was wearing the ring.' Her left hand rose, showing her now-uncontrained ring finger.
"I thought that was just for fashion."
'No, I was married,' Cordelia said, 'to an asshole, as it turned out. I walked in on them. But I’d known it for a while, I think. There were signs. I just didn’t want to acknowledge them, you know.’
No, she didn’t know. She didn’t want to.
‘I went to see my mother to inform that he is no longer her son-in-law. She looked so happy.’
"It’s not your fault,” Misty said. “I don't think a person's entire morality can be determined only by their infidelity. But I know you. You’re a good person. None of this is your fault."
Cordelia stayed quiet. Her hand rose to touch her face, disappearing into the swarm of the creatures. Her fingertips looked wet.
It made Misty hesitate, but she took Cordelia’s hand nonetheless.
Cordelia squeezed it back. ‘You’re always brutally honest with me.’
“I can tell white lies if you want.”
She shook her head. ‘Anyone can do that. Your kind of honesty takes bravery. People like my mother tell the truth for their own sake, so they could feel superior. You do it to unblind the lost, to show the way. Maybe there are white and red kinds of honesty, too, just like lies.’
“Maybe.” Misty smiled.
‘It’s funny. For a long time I was scared of being single and alone, but now I realize I already was, being with someone who never saw me. Now, it feels liberating.’
It made Misty so proud. “You deserve so much, Miss Cordelia. So much more than you want to believe.”
From behind the creatures, Misty felt her gaze.
‘You’re a gift from heaven,’ Cordelia said. ‘I’m so glad you came into my shop that day.’
Heat crept up Misty’s face. “No, it was when you sat at my table that started this. You did that.”
Cordelia smiled and flipped the phone over. But in the buzzing silence, Misty saw her lips move, forming words she couldn’t wait to actually hear someday.