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are you a mermaid (cause you could be my wet dream)

Summary:

School’s out and all Penelope wants to do is go drink booze with her friends and flirt with all of the dull Mystic Falls High girls at the town diner. What she didn’t plan for, however, was letting her stupid friends drag her to the community pool on the other side of town, where all of those Salvatore snobs go to for their summer. Nor did she expect to become so smitten with the beautiful, brunette lifeguard that worked there.

Alternatively, Josie's a hot lifeguard and Penelope's a gay mess.

Notes:

This is a fic my very wonderfully talented friend wrote and is just using my account to post. I'm just the vessel of her greatness in this case.

You can find her at @selfishpenelope on twitter and check out her hilarious social media AU while you're there!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: exactly what shes always wanted

Chapter Text

It was the first week of summer break, with no more due dates, no more homework, no more tests. No more classes, and thank fucking god, no more shitty school drama. Senior year awaits in the fall, but Penelope had these perfect next three months to fool around with her friends, get drunk as much as possible, and maybe start a short fling or two.

 

All in all, Penelope was ready to experience a great summer, one that had an agenda consisting of an easy rhythm to fall into until school started back up again.

 

But apparently her cousin had different ideas.

 

“You have officially ruined the start of my summer before senior year, and for that, I hate you.” Penelope grumbled and stopped on the sidewalk in front of a red bricked house.

 

Jed chuckled. “Your dad’s right, P. You shouldn’t be running around, creating chaos around town then locking yourself up in your room after that. Live a little.”

 

“And you think I’ll be living my best life by going to the community pool ?” She hissed back.

 

Her cousin rolled his eyes and proceeded to ignore her while walking up the front steps of the porch and pounded on the door.

 

“Hurry the fuck up, Kaleb!”

 

Moments later, the door swung open and said boy greeted him with a chill “sup”. He noticed Penelope swaying impatiently in the yard a few paces behind Jed and snickered. “Somebody has a stick up their ass on this fine afternoon and we haven’t even made it to the pool yet.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

Kaleb laughed and him and Jed jogged to catch up to Penelope, who hadn’t bothered to wait for them and had already made it out of the yard. The boys flanked her sides and they continued trekking down the sidewalk to their destination.

 

“Come on Peez. Lighten up.”

 

She glared at Kaleb. “ No. Because of you two idiots, now I have to haul my ass on a fifteen minute walk to the most awful place in this town. And it’s like a hundred degrees right now.”

 

“Perfect time to cool down with a nice swim.” Jed pointed out with an annoying grin.

 

Penelope snorted. “I’d much rather cool down in the nice AC, indoors, where I most definitely wouldn’t have a chance to contract cholera.” Jed rolled his eyes at her dramatics and she swears she’s going to slap him every time he rolls his eyes at her again. “The pool’s probably like fifteen percent chlorine and eighty-five percent urine. And those losers from Salvatore will most likely be there. If I see that Ricky kid there, I will punch his face. Again.”

 

“I think his name’s Rafael.”

 

“I frankly don’t care.”

 

They stopped in front of another house, this time a white-bricked two-story, and Jed sighed. “Go get Mikaelson.”

 

Penelope stuck her tongue out at him and before she could make another move, Hope Mikaelson had already slammed her door shut and practically skipped over to them.

 

“Thanks for bailing me out. I really needed an excuse to get out of the house.”

 

“Well hello to you too.” Penelope eyed the swimsuit material peeking out from the collar of Hope’s shirt. “So did you bring the barely there bikini or the soccer mom sports suit?”

 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Hope answered dryly and the group began their journey again. “Remind me again why we are going swimming on Salvatore territory? The pool’s probably gross as well.”

 

“Thank you! Finally, someone that has a brain!” Penelope chimed.

 

Kaleb adjusted his black aviators. “It’s not Salvatore territory. It’s the whole town’s, but everyone here’s too much of a wuss to face those cronies and use the damn pool. And not all Salvatore kids are bad. My friend MG is an alright dude and he goes there.”

 

“Yeah.” Jed added. “Salvatore people might be annoying as hell, but some of the girls that go there are h-o-t hot .”

 

“They kinda are.” Hope agreed dreamily and Penelope scrunched her face at her with contempt.

 

“I’m surrounded by more dicks than a curious teenager.”

 

“Hey.” Hope swatted her arm. “We’re only going to be there for a couple hours and then we’ll go find some booze afterwards.”

 

Penelope huffed exasperatedly. “Fine.”

 

Knowing her pride was at stake, she was even more determined to not enjoy their experience at all. Penelope brought a couple books with her and planned to wait out their time there. It’d only be a few boring hours in the sun, and sooner or later, she’ll be out of there in no time, and Penelope would leave the neighborhood pool with the satisfaction that she’ll never have to go back there ever again.

 

Penelope’s nose scrunched up in displeasure as her and her friends made it to the front gate of the entrance. She heard the screams of laughter from little kids and could see from behind the fence the numerous clusters of people around the pool.

 

As much as she liked going to parties, she’s never been one to enjoy lots of company. She hated crowds, and if a party got too crowded in one room, she’d always retreat to the far corner just to get some sort of space.

 

The pool was really busy as far as she could tell, and Penelope really wasn’t looking forward to maneuvering around sweaty and wet bodies and drown out, pun intended, all of the excessive screaming from the kids.

 

Kids are gross.

 

She bet that there were a lot of people from Salvatore behind that gate, and even though she wasn’t the most popular at Mystic Falls High, some people from the rival school were familiar with her.

 

Salvatore kids were straight-up annoying as fuck. A lot of them would crash Mystic Falls High parties just for the hell of it and barbarously interrupt the peaceful vibes. Frequently, several of the Salvatore “gifted and talented” assholes have attempted to initiate a few conversations with her, which only prompted her to leave the party prematurely and go somewhere secluded alone to drink, away from their hopeless advances. Penelope recalled the time when that one kid (Ricky or Rafael or whoever) began hitting on her at one party that resulted in her punching him the moment he put his hand on her ass.

 

To keep away any unwanted attention, Penelope planned on minding her own business and reading her books, and no one from that god forsaken school better dare to come bother her in the next couple hours.

 

They found a set of beach chair loungers to plop their bags and towels on. Penelope took her place on one of the loungers, watching her friends strip down to their bathing suits. Yeah, no. There was no point in her stripping out of her clothes since she was not going anywhere near the water.

 

“You should come swimming with us, P.” Jed’s voice was muffled as he was taking off his shirt. “Can you try to let loose a little bit?”

 

She shook her head, plastering a fake turtle smile on her face. “Jed, no. Look it’s nice that you wanted some cousin bonding time, but I actually don’t wanna be here. So you go have fun, and I’m fine waiting however long you want stay before we leave, okay?”

 

“Suit yourself then.” Jed shrugged and then nudged Kaleb’s shoulder.

 

“You know where to find us, Peez.” Kaleb added before the two boys raced off towards the pool and Penelope chuckled when Hope shouted after them.

 

“Stop running before you both slip on your asses!”

 

Hope observed them affectionately, the corner of her mouth betraying a small smile.

 

Meanwhile, not paying attention to the boys, Penelope smirked and unashamedly raked her eyes over her best friend’s body, covered by a striped two-piece. “Well, I see you’ve chosen the bikini. Feeling lucky today?”

 

Hope turned around to face her. She wiggled her eyebrows with a sly grin. “Might as well make this a productive experience. I’m going to go check out some of the real estate. See if some of the property is worth a little more around here.”

 

“You’re so weird.”

 

“You love me, bitch.”

 

“Sure.”

 

Hope leaned over the chair to snatch Kaleb’s aviators from one of their bags and place it neatly on the bridge of her nose. “You can join me if you want.”

 

Penelope snorted. “Bye, you whore.”

 

Hope mockingly blew a kiss at her before wandering away to meet a blonde chick that was currently tanning on a chair from the other side of the pool.

 

Penelope scanned the general vicinity around the pool. She didn’t recognize anyone that could be from Mystic Falls High; the only teens here were obviously from Salvatore. A tiny disappointment ran through her when she realized that the Ricky douche wasn’t here for her to punch.

 

At least it would’ve kept her somewhat entertained.

 

There were a several groups of guys and of girls, a few of which were only mildly attractive but none worth her time.

 

Resigning herself to the next couple hours of boredom, Penelope reached into her bag to pull out a book before absently glancing back up to the other side of the pool.

 

And then she saw her.

 

Perched on a tall, white lifeguard chair, she was without a question the most gorgeous girl Penelope’s ever seen. She was a beautiful brunette with her hair tied into a long braid, and thick, black sunglasses shielded her eyes. She wore the signature red one piece that displayed the white ‘Lifeguard’ in bold letters, just underneath a long v cut opening running down the middle of her breasts. Penelope bit her bottom lip as she stared at the generous amount of skin and curves exposed. And what the hell? Those were probably the sexiest legs known to mankind.

 

Hot damn.

 

This day just got a whole lot more interesting.

 

An unknown tingling feeling rushed through her body, a feeling she’s never felt before. Penelope’s never felt more attracted to a person ever until now, and for some strange reason, it felt like there was this invisible force inside her, prodding and gnawing at her to go talk to this girl.

 

The lifeguard looked around her age, which meant probably went to Salvatore, and in that moment, Penelope took back every negative statement she’s ever said about that school because she never knew they harbored a freaking angel like her.

 

It shouldn’t be this hard to breathe, right? Penelope’s flirted with many girls before. It shouldn’t be any different.

 

Except, everything felt different this time.

 

Well shit, Park. Get your head out of your ass cause it’s time to get to work.

 

She hastily whipped off her shirt, glad in her previously careless state that she picked out the black and sexy bikini and pulled down her shorts to show off her bikini bottoms. Penelope ruffled her hair, deliberately creating a disheveled state to add on to her look before slowly standing up from her chair.

 

Making sure to act nonchalant, she pretending to absentmindedly take a stroll around the pool before stopping off to the side of the lifeguard chair.

 

The lifeguard hadn’t noticed her yet, so Penelope took a moment to stare at that perfectly structured face. And wow, that perpetual pout on those lips was hella adorable. She cleared her throat.

 

“Hey Sunshine. I usually don’t come here often, but I might start now that I know a very gorgeous girl can come down and save me at any time.”

 

The lifeguard peered down at her and took her sunglasses off to get a clearer look at Penelope. Penelope found herself swimming in captivating brown eyes.

 

She can stare at those eyes all day.

 

The other girl narrowed her eyes. “I’ve never seen you around here before.”

 

“That’s probably because I don’t go to Salvatore. What’s your name, Sunshine?” Penelope threw on that signature Park smirk. The brunette was clearly sizing her up; she had a little look of concentration like she was trying to solve a puzzle.

 

“Not if you tell me yours first.”

 

“Penelope Park.”

 

Her smirked faltered slightly at the unimpressed look from the other girl. “Well, Penelope Park, I don’t know who you think you are, but a charmer like you isn’t gonna to go anywhere with me.”

 

“I like a challenge.”

 

The lifeguard rolled her eyes. “Of course you’re one of those girls.”

 

Penelope frowned slightly and rested her right hand over her hip. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

Shifting the red rescue tube in her lap, the brunette replied. “It means that you’re one of those girls that only care about adding notches to their belts. I hate to break it to you, but find someone else to be your newest conquest because it’s a hard pass for me.”

 

“Okay wow. Already formed an opinion on me without getting to know me?” Penelope raised an eyebrow at her. The other girl just rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Listen, Sunshine, before you jump to the conclusion that I sleep with everything that breathes, I’ll have you know that I actually do have a sense of commitment.”

 

“Yeah right.”

 

“No I’m being serious. A pretty girl like you deserves more.”

 

Penelope wasn’t sure where that last part came from, but she wasn’t complaining when thought the other girl’s face softened for a second. However, it was very fleeting, so maybe she might’ve imagined it. Because the lifeguard’s face set back to annoyance. “Good one. You almost had me there.”

 

Penelope leaned her hand on the white lifeguard chair. She grinned when the brunette not so subtly inched away from her. “Is it so hard to believe that I can give one girl my undivided attention?”

 

The pretty lifeguard sighed in agitation before rotating her body towards Penelope and giving her a fiery glare. “I don’t want your undivided attention. And honestly, yes, it is hard to believe that you don’t come around to sleep around. I don’t even think you’ve ever been in a serious relationship before. So if you just came here looking for your newest “hangover Wednesday girl”, just know that I am not one of those dumb girls that you can fuck with. You might be able to get into everyone else’s pants during the summer, but that’s all you’re ever going to get because you don’t know the concept of love.”

 

The other girl finished her rant with a huff, then leaned back, waiting in anticipation for Penelope’s response.

 

Even though she wasn’t one of the popular kids at Mystic Falls High, she’s always managed to get someone wrapped around her finger, from douchey jocks to dull blondes. The other girl was right; she’s never been in a serious relationship, never given two fucks about anyone she’s ever hooked up with. She’s always gotten bored really easily, and it wasn’t because she didn’t feel empathy for other people. Penelope has genuinely only interacted with two dimensional girls who only cared about surface things, like clothes or sex or social status. Girls who never had that much depth.

 

And so in that moment, Penelope knew.

 

This girl was exactly what she’s always wanted.

 

The lifeguard’s been staring at her for a while now, feeling uneasy from the lack of response so Penelope put her smirk back on before she finally spoke.

 

“Okay, bet.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I bet I can make you fall in love with me by the end of the summer.”

 

The lifeguard’s jaw dropped (probably at the audacity of the entire thing) and scoffed. “This isn’t some dumb movie, Park. This is real life. Get it through that obnoxiously thick skull of yours that I am not interested.”

 

“You’ll never know unless you try.”

 

“Maybe I don’t want to try at all.”

 

“Hmmmmmm...” Penelope looked her over, inwardly grinning at the the uncomfortable tension coming from the other girl. She’ll stop torturing the girl, for now. “Fine. Will you at least tell me your name, love?”

 

The girl narrowed her eyes and regarded her for several seconds before replying. “Josie. Josie Saltzman. Now I have a job to do so leave me alone.” She put her sunglasses back on and reverted back to her original position on her chair.

 

“Have a good day...Josie Saltzman.” The girl’s name rolled from her tongue like butter. “See you around.”

 

Penelope gave her a wink (even though the girl had started to purposely ignore her) and sauntered back to her spot.

 

About an hour or so later, Jed and Kaleb finally got bored and announced they were ready to leave, and Hope returned back to them, bragging to her about getting some girl’s number but Penelope only nodded along without really listening.

 

After their interaction, Penelope had completely forgot about her books in order to stare at the gorgeous girl on the high chair. The lifeguard garnered Penelope’s attention and she was going to make it her mission to get Josie Saltzman’s.

 

Making their exit from the pool, she peered over her shoulder one last time to glance at the lifeguard on duty.

 

And so Penelope Park walked away from the community pool with only one thought in mind.

 

I’m going to make that girl mine.