Chapter Text
Atticus Finch was never one I expected to know. He was in a grade above me and up until now, I never spoke to him. And what all caused this? Well, I'd have to go back to the time where I was getting bullied by his sister.
Now, getting bullied is never any fun, who likes to get bullied?
But as tragic as it was, it was a reality I faced quite often from Alexandria Finch. She never really hit me or anything physical, but she made sure that was never included in anything anyone wanted to do.
And this all maybe was because of the one time I never let her borrow my special, limited edition pencil that I barely ever use but she just demanded to use in grade six.
Even after the teacher was involved, I refused to let her borrow it. Instead, I offered her a regular old, yellow pencil but she had declined my offer and settled for a pencil from the teacher.
Ever since then, I got the feeling she didn't quite like me.
Alas, it's a year later and she didn't let it go. Me putting up a fight barely went anywhere so I learned to give up rather quickly and settle for the fact that I surely wouldn't be having friends anytime soon.
Friends were bothersome, I didn't particularly want any because they didn't ever want to do anything that I deemed fun.
The only thing that ever pulled me out of my thoughts was the bell.
I tended to get lost in my thoughts quite a bit.
I walked out for recess and went to the field.
Everyone else around me played with each other, something like tag or hide and seek. But I just, sat there, rather alone.
I brought a book to read, luckily my mother taught me how to read and now so are my teachers, though they are rather reluctant. None of the other girls, through there are few, wanted to learn how to read. Most took up their time with with a different class learning how to be a 'proper lady'.
There isn't anything wrong with that, but, I'd rather have something I'd like to learn. So I curled up against the tree in the near back of the field and read.
I got lost in the words, learning about The Temne Wad and how it shaped America. Coming from a small town in Alabama, it didn't seem like much improvement happened from the war but it was quite alright.
I didn't have a problem until someone pickled the book from out of my hands. "Hey! Give that back!" I said as I stood up from the ground.
Alexandria wasn't that much taller than me but she did try and use her height to her advantage by holding the book above her head. "Girls shouldn't learn how to read. You should really save yourself and your future husband the embarrassment and start learning how to be a proper lady."
My cheeks burned bright red in embarrassment. "You take that back! I can be a proper lady and be able to read." I hopped up, trying to grab the book from her hands but she was simply too high up for me to reach to get the book.
"No you can't." She said, her voice getting bitter. "Girls like you should learn to act in their place. You are lucky I'm even giving you this valuable piece of information. You should learn to use it."
I scoffed. "Like I would ever take your advice, Alexandria." I reached for my book again. "Just give me my book back and leave me alone."
"You're acting like a dog. Is this book really that precious to you?" She said before she tossed the book aside. "Go fetch little puppy, Too bad you're a stray." She laughed before she walked away from me.
I quickly grabbed my book from the ground and dusted off the cover. A stray... ha, yeah. Of course she would know about that. Anyone in Maycomb knew about anything.
My mother died in the summer and so I was left with my grandparents. My dad died a couple years after I was born so I barely knew him, he served in the War. This book is the only proof I know that he existed.
His name was written in here. And his picture was in here too. He died a hero.
Mother always talked about him, telling me how much courage he had and that he also knew what to do in a tough situation and that, they always loved each other.
I really wished I would have someone like that.
But it's all nonsense, my grandmother told me not to go wishing for fairytales because it'd just get my hopes up. So I wouldn't even try.
It's not like a Prince Charming would be anywhere in Maycomb.
People in Maycomb know everything about everyone in Maycomb. I knew of Alexandria's racist, sexist, and classist prejudices and that most likely came into play when she decided she didn't like me. I knew of Atticus's dream of being a lawyer when he grows older, I knew of Maudie's fantastic green thumb and how she could make any plant/tree live, I knew of Robert Ewell and how he won't ever finish school because his family doesn't like authority. I knew a lot of things.
And the only sane person I would even consider dating has never even talked to me about. And I'm not about to shoot my shot to someone older than me, especially since we are going.
Grandmother would never let that happen, she would say I'm too young and that grandfather would have to approve of him anyway. That was always the big thing to grandmother, grandfather just had to approve of whoever I dated.
Long story short, no black people, or any people of any other race besides white.
Which was fine by me, I didn't fancy anyone of colour. And everyone I knew was white.
I looked down at my knees with a sigh, they got dirty from the mud when I was retrieving my book. I stood up and walked to a puddle to wash them off and used the inside of my skirt to dry them off.
Skirts weren't my favourite thing, but it was all my grandmother would buy for me. Luckily, I have two pairs of shorts that came down to my knees but I wasn't allowed to wear those at school.
I knew that this really wasn't going to do much but at least it was something. At least, my knees weren't that dirty as they were before but now my legs were sort of wet. I sighed in defeat.
Alexandria won this round of making me look like a dog.
I turned away from the puddle and made my way to the school once again. The boys were all yelling and playing on the makeshift playground while others were playing soccer on the field.
They looked like they were having fun.
I held my book close to my chest as I went to the water fountain and grabbed a towel from it to wipe down my legs. I didn't even set my book down once, I kept it in one of my hands at all times.
Once I was done, I put the towel back and headed inside of the school as the bell had rung signalling that recess was over.
Walking back to class was a struggle because so many of the kids pushed and shoved and ran inside to go to their home rooms while the teachers tried to maintain control. But the teachers really couldn't do anything.
I felt someone starting at me so I looked back to see a glimpse of someone but I couldn't make them out. I frowned to myself. No one really looked at me.
I walked to my classroom and sat down at my desk before putting my book away. Beside me sat Alexandria, it was really just my luck. And on the other side of me was Maudie. But, Maudie got along with Alexandria more than me so we didn't talk all too much.
I set my book down on my desk and inspected it carefully, making sure there was no dirt or mud anywhere on it.
Luckily for me, when Alexandria was about to talk to me, the teacher started the lesson. The lesson was English, my favourite, and easiest, subject.
We were told to write a letter to ourselves in the future, around to when we would graduate. It was kind of a lame assignment but I did it anyway. I basically just wrote that I better not have let Alexandria push me to dropping out and that I'd better try and get a degree in something.
I thought back to Atticus. Atticus knew what he was going to do in the future. I wondered what I would be doing in the future.
I wondered if he really was going to be a lawyer.
Shoving the thought aside, the teacher collected our letters and then she taught social studies and that was it for the day.
Classes were fairly easy if you just paid attention and tried your best to take notes or even just show up to be there. Maycomb's high school isn't the hardest school you could probably go to but it was a nice school.
I grabbed my bag and stuffed todays homework and books inside. Packing up fast lead to me walking in front of Alexandria and her brother. But it seemed like fate wasn't on my side today.
Alexandria finished packing before me and she cornered me against the corner of the walls. "I wouldn't even bother trying to run. If you do, I'll tell my brother you hurt me. You don't want the prince of the school coming to you, do you? You know he's... really good with a gun. Tomorrow I want you to give me 20 cents." She giggled and flashed me a fake smile. "Have a good day~"
I stood watching Alexandria leave. She walked to Maudie and they talked as they made there way out of the school.
I didn't know what to say or what to think. Eventually my feet started to move and I was walking back home. My house was too close to the Finch's for my liking. In fact, it was right beside the Finch's house. And my window was a perfect view inside of Atticus's window.
Sometimes he'd leave his curtains open when I left mine open. We'd see each other and wave before going back to our homework. Our windows were too far to open and talk to each other through them so we were fine with the occasional look and wave.
Plus, I didn't want to get too close to my 'enemy's' brother. She would kill me.
I didn't even realize it but Atticus was walking beside me on our way back home. He had his nose stuffed in a book and I was lost in my thoughts until I heard the extra footsteps.
"Atticus?" I asked, my eyes wide, surprised to see him.
Atticus looked up from his book before he quickly put a bookmark in it. "Hello Y/N." He said with a gentle smile. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was following you."
I laughed. Of course he didn't. "It's alright, Atticus. We do live right beside each other, it's not like anyone is going to think it's too weird." As I looked ahead, I saw Alexandria looking at me and Maudie glared. I frowned.
Atticus looked up as soon as they looked away. "What's wrong?"
I shook my head. "Nothing." I crossed my arms as I looked at the houses we walked by. "How's school going?"
"Very good." Replies Atticus. "And for you?"
"It's been going alright."
We fell into a silence.
I played with the buckle on my bag as we walked closer to our houses. "This is me." I said as I stopped at the pavement leading up to my house before nodding. "Thank you for walking me home, Atticus."
He chuckled as he waved his hand. "It's quite alright, have a good day, Y/N." He walked a little more until he was at his own house. I made sure he got inside before walking inside of my own house.
My grandmother and grandfather were already asleep having their nap so I knew to head upstairs to my bedroom. I opened my curtains and set my book down. I opened the window to let the breeze in, it was Spring.
I busied myself with cleaning up my room. I had to put my clothes in their hamper and my books had to be put on their bookshelf. Cleaning always helped clear my mind. It made me feel like I actually accomplished something.
Feeling better about my room, I sat down at my desk. When I looked out the window, that's when I realized Atticus and his sister had been watching me.
Atticus quickly looked away while Alexandria stuck her nose up, said something to Atticus, and then promptly left his bedroom.
I looked down. Who knows what she said to him. She was probably saying tons of bad things about me and he doesn't know me well enough to not believe her.
I sighed. Not like anything was going to happen between me and Atticus Finch anyway. He was too unattainable.
People describe Atticus as a saint or an angel. He really does try and see the good in everyone. I heard a girl refer to him as a prince, but I don't think that's true. Everyone does have their faults. And Atticus's was too trusting and too willing to see the good where good wasn't to be found.
But right now, Atticus was looking at me. Still.
I got out my black marker before I wrote in my notepad, 'I'm sorry' and turned it so Atticus could see.
I didn't really know what I was apologizing for for, and either did Atticus because he shouted back, "What for?"
I used the back of that page to write, 'I don't know, but I'm sorry'
That made Atticus shake his head and leave his bedroom. I frowned before he set down my notepad sadly. Of course. I ruin everything. I ripped the paper out of the book and threw it into the trash.
Next thing I did was taking out my homework and setting it on my desk. I went to my math section and started to the problems. I am terrible at math. I didn't really get it and I didn't know anyone else who did know how to do math well. It was my cursed subject.
But, I was pushed out of my thoughts when someone rang the doorbell.
I groaned. Who could it be? Everyone knows that my grandparents are asleep and won't answer the door. So why are they doing this to me?
I walked downstairs and opened the door. "Sorry my-" I stopped mid sentence as I realized who was on the other side of the door.