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The Owlery 2019
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Published:
2019-05-30
Completed:
2019-05-30
Words:
6,268
Chapters:
6/6
Comments:
15
Kudos:
343
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48
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6,502

What We Left Behind

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Summary:

In the final months of the war, Draco served as a double agent, but much like Snape, he was reviled and distrusted by the other members of the Order. Despite this, Harry and Draco began a relationship of sorts.

Now that the war has ended, Draco has broken things off with Harry and broken all ties with the wizarding world---disappearing completely. But Harry finds out that Draco is living abroad as a muggle, and sets out to reconnect by writing him a letter, hoping to convince him to come back, or at least allow Harry to see him again.

Notes:

This is part of the 2019 Owlery Exchange. The authors were matched and corresponded back and forth anonymously as Harry and Draco for the duration of the exchange until reveals.

Jay wrote as Harry.
Ash wrote as Draco.

This was super-fun to write and has been an incredible creation to work on! We want to thank our superb betas for the making this better ❤❤❤

Orpheous87 for being a blessing and being there throughout the journey of the letters and constant support
OTPShipper98 for the beta, AND more importantly, for the squeeing
Primaveracerezos for being the extra pair of eyes needed
Thanks to Nat, who’s not on Tumblr or AO3 but helped me a lot with reading all of my questionable letters!

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: Letter One

Chapter Text

Dear

Beloved

Draco,

Please don't be alarmed. I have no way of knowing how this letter has been delivered to you, so I'm not sure if you may have cast any diagnostic spells on it. But I want to assure you myself that there are no tracking or malicious spells on this letter. It is simply charmed to only be readable by you.

The plain intent of this letter is to convince you to meet me, one last time. I know that there is a reason you chose to disappear. Not to mention, you did a bloody good job of it as well. Though, that’s not surprising considering you were way too good at the whole double-agent thing. It seems as if Draco Malfoy never existed. No assets or properties under your name, no addresses or even mentions of you. Not even from your "closest friends". And that may have very well been your intention.

But I know you existed. I know that if I were to go to the Slytherin common room and cast that secret spell you taught me; I will find "Property of Draco Lucius Malfoy" indented into that huge, ever-glowing silver candle next to the reading tables.

Your existence is written into my very flesh, from all those kisses you placed on my body. Every kiss of yours on each part of my face, inside my thighs, from my wrists leading to the crook of my neck, is a reminder of your soft and divine lips.

Every prayer murmured between ourselves after nightmares, every plea uttered by you when I was recovering from curses is proof of a life that was spent in Britain. Of breaths belonging to your living body. Of you having ruled the Slytherin dorms, and my heart.

I miss you Draco. I miss you so very much. I know we didn't get sexual, but I would very much like to think that we were romantically involved. That we had something. Please tell me you thought of it the same way.

There is so much I want to say that I don’t even know where to start. To be honest, I’m not even sure that you want to hear it. But I’m going to barrage on regardless, like the idiotic Gryffindor you always accused me of being, and maybe came to like.

I dream of meeting you again, Draco. I keep hoping that someday when I'm lost in another one of my fantasies about you and something brings me back to the present moment, I shall see you standing at the doorway, wearing those posh robes of yours and that ever-damnable smile.

And I want to see you, so badly. I want to be able to hold your hands, feel your thin, almost-starved body against mine. And at this point, I'm not above begging. It has been exactly 439 days since I last saw you and let me tell you that every one of those days has been filled with misery. Except for those moments when I think about the time you were by my side.

This letter is also a promise. A promise that if you choose to meet me, I will not ask anything of you that you wouldn't want to do. A promise that I will leave you alone if you so wish, even after you meet me.

But please, for the love of Merlin and Salazar and Morgana and every being close to your heart, let me be close to you once more. So, I can show you what you mean to me, so YOU can give me one believable reason why you chose to disappear, and not stay with me.

You know I would have stood by your side no matter what. That I would have helped you fight whatever it was that you needed to fight. Make me understand, and I will disappear from your life, like the way you did from mine, by LOOKING ME IN THE EYE. Not by leaving a Merlin-forsaken letter for me after you have already left.

I wasn't supposed to get angry and point fingers at you but FUCK. It hurts. What you did hurts and even though my pain might hurt less than yours, it still does.

Please write back. Please. I know you are not okay. I can sense from countries away, your fear when you wake up trembling in the middle of the night. I can feel your cold, damp skin when you have to relive, in your dreams, the stare of every pair of cruel eyes that has ever looked at you.

And you know I'm going to be waiting. You know that I will carry hope in my heart even after the point of hopelessness that someday you shall deem my plea fit to reply. Until then it will be your fleeting memories and broken promises keeping me company.

Forever yours,
Hare.