Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Dearest Morinth,

Thank you for your last letter.. You know how much I love letters from you, Morinth. I appreciate hearing about the world outside, it keeps me connected to the rest of the galaxy. We're supposed to keep the outside world in our hearts and our prayers, but when you live in seclusion, it's hard to remember what all our daily prayer is even for.

I believe the last time I left the monastery, it was almost exactly one hundred years ago. I was on a supervised trip to Thessia. It was beautiful, but it was … different from what you tell me.

Some days I worry about you, Morinth. You know you're always welcome here in the monastery, right? I think it would be a wonderful choice for you to become a nun with us. It would be nice to have you around. Rila and I would love the company. Besides, it's safe here. You'd be protected. You'd also be fed and cared for! Think about it, at least?

The outside world is big, and the temptation to feast has to be so great. I ... know how you deal with temptation, however.

Life is peaceful here. We pass our days with prayer and dedications to the Goddess, and learning skills that would make us useful to the outside. Just recently, the other nuns allowed me some space for a garden. I've started growing an Earth plant called tomatoes! I haven't looked them up on the Extranet yet, so I'm not sure what they're for (other than eating, of course.) But I planted the seeds, and I have little green sprouts now! I'll attach a picture to this email if I can figure out how.

Rila has decided to take up sewing, so that she can make clothing. She is hoping to sell dresses to the outside to raise money for the monastery. So far, all she's learned to do is lay out patterns and cut cloth, and half the time she does that crookedly. Morinth, she's so funny when she gets upset with her cutting. Her brow wrinkes! I wish you were here to see it.

I wish you were here to see a lot of things. You are welcome here any time, you know. I keep saying that, and you're bored of the repitition, but it's mostly because I miss you.

Please write again soon.

-- Falere

Dearest Morinth,

I heard from Mother the other day. She says she's met someone named Commander Shepard, have you heard of her? I only get bits and pieces from the news out here. I feel like I've heard that name before, but I'm so bad with names. Didn't she do something wonderful for the Citadel?

Mother said the commander was helping her with a task she had to do, but wouldn't say too much more than that. I think that's wonderful that a big hero would take time out of her day to help someone like that. I wonder if the commander takes small jobs? I can't imagine what she'd do here at the monastery. I don't think she'd like picking the weeds out of Rila's garden. It's fun to think that there would be someone to help us if we ever got in big trouble, though.

I know what you'll say, but I wish you and mother would at least try to patch things up. ... I say the same thing to her in letters, so don't think I'm taking sides. At the monastery, we are taught that forgiving each other will lead to a longer, more peaceful life. Don't you think it's worth trying? She's your mother, Morinth. She does care about you, I promise.

Don't forget that you'd always be welcome here. You could come learn a trade, Morinth. You like music, maybe you could learn an instrument?

... I know we don't offer as much excitement as the outside. I can't even imagine the sights you've seen, and if I'm being honest, I'm a little jealous. But the outside world is dangerous. More importantly, we're dangerous by our very nature. The monastery turns us from something dangerous to something useful. I think it's a beautiful thought.

Daily life is repetitive, but it feels safe to have a routine. It's comforting. Every morning, we wake up at sunrise for morning prayer, and then have a wonderful breakfast made for us by the sisters on breakfast duty. Did you know we make our own yogurt here? We add the bacteria culture to milk ourselves. It's from a colony that's existed at the monastery for years. We add our own fruit too that we grow. (I looked it up, but my tomatoes do not go in yogurt.) After we study our religious texts in the day, we break for lunch, and then get to work on our vocations, like the sewing and the gardening I told you about in the last letter.

We move on to our evening chores after that. This month, I get to clean the great hall. It's a little stressful, because it’s such an important place. I'd hate to leave a spot unclean! It would be so embarrasing! I have duty with Rila though, so that's nice. Next month I'm on communications duty. That tends to be very dull. Don’t tell the other sisters, but it will be a wonderful excuse to sit and write you letters.

-- Falere

Chapter Text

Dearest Morinth,

Have you been getting my letters? I haven't heard from you recently, is why I ask. I worry about you, running like you do. Please at least let me know you're safe.

I had something very odd happen today, I need to share.

I was on communications duty. It was my job to monitor any sort of communications coming in and out of the monastery. No one communicates with an entire group of Ardat-Yakshi, though, so it's mostly sitting in a little dark room for the evening and listening to receiver noise.

All of our equipment is very old, so we don't get good reception. Our sensors don't even scan for channels. You have to do it manually. It's incredibly boring work. Do you see why we do it in shifts?

It was late, and I was tired. I hadn't heard a communication all evening. I was taking a last scan of the channels, just so that I could say I could if one of the sisters asked. Just then, something came through a comm channel so loud that I jumped.

Oh Morinth, it filled that room. I put my head on the desk and covered my ears with my hands, but that wouldn't make the noise go away. I knew that, I just … I just couldn’t think! It was a terrible, shrill garbled mess of a scream, something raw and primal that I've never even heard before, much less heard over a ship's communicator. It was out of this world! Morinth, hardly anything on the entire planet of Lessus makes noise, and here I've managed to find this, this ... thing!

Somewhere in the garbles, I think I heard words? They didn't sound like English or Asari or Turian or any language I can name, though. My universal translator didn't have any ideas either. The only thing I could tell you is that yes, they were words. I have no proof, I just know it’s true.

I uncovered my ears, for all the good it did, and managed to hit record on the equipment and save the message. I tore out of the comm room. I'm not supposed to, of course, I'm supposed to sit and monitor the comm channels, but I was so afraid, I ran to the mother superior's room. I mean, what if someone had sent that message as a distress signal? Or even as a dying signal? I couldn’t leave someone alone out there! I don't know, I was just hoping Mother Superior could fix it.

She was asleep, however, and no amount of pounding could rouse her. I suppose that’s how late it was. I have no idea how I didn't wake the entire monastery with my knocking. I'm not sure how the message didn't wake the entire monastery, for that matter.

Not knowing anything else to do, I walked back to the communications room, trembling. My steps were light, but slow. I knew the message couldn't hurt me, exactly, but I couldn't help being scared.

So that's why I'm writing to you in the middle of the night, Morinth, because everyone else is asleep and I'm going to have to tell someone if I intend to sleep tonight.

I pray you're out there, I pray that you're safe, and I pray that you get my letter.

-- Falere

Chapter Text

Dearest Morinth,

Something very odd has happened. My tomatoes have started to turn gray and wilt! I looked it up, and they're not supposed to do that. I don't understand what I could have done wrong. They sit in the sun all day and I water them with the very same water we drink here at the monastery. Is it because they're not growing on Earth? The sisters said they've grown tomatoes on Lessus before, but that's my guess: that they miss Earth. I don't know what else it could be.

Were you wondering about the message I heard last night? I know I'm writing you again very quickly, but I didn't want you to worry about what I sent last night. After morning prayer today, I caught up with Mother Superior.

"My dear," she said as I approached, "You look so worried."

I couldn't lie. "Mother, last night, something disturbing happened while I was on comm duty. I tried to wake you, but when I knocked on your door."

She half smiled. Mother Superior actually is a very funny person when you get to know her. "I am a heavy sleeper, Sister Falere. I apologize for not being available. But I'm surprised you had anything at all exciting happen during comm duty."

I felt myself relax. See? Even Mother Superior knows that comm duty is boring. "If you wouldn't mind, would you come to the comm room and listen to the recording I made?"

"Of course, dear."

So, we ducked out of morning chores and went to the comm room to check out the recording.

I started the recording up, and we both jumped. Who would blame her! Me, I should have known that loud scream was coming, but … I guess maybe I'd forgotten how awful it was. Maybe I didn't want to believe it was real.

But poor Mother Superior. Oh Morinth, I wish you could have seen her eyes when I played that back for her. Then again, I'd hate to meet the person who somehow doesn't get spooked when they hear that signal.

A moment of silence fell between us before I was able to ask, "What do you think it is?"

She looked away, to the left, and then to the right. "It's obviously from the outside," she said. "To which I mean, I doubt it's a sister playing a prank on us. I'm not sure why it's garbled. You didn't play with any of the settings on the equipment, did you?"

"No, ma'am."

She gave everything a once-over, I suppose to see if I had bumped something without knowing. "I have no idea why it's so garbled. That's what's worst, you know? The idea that we can't tell what's going on. I would hate for it to be a distress signal we missed."

"I thought the same thing."

"Play it one more time," she asked, so I did. I could tell by the look on her face that she could listen to it this time more critically, without the initial shock.

"I think one or two of those words might be Prothean," she said, after a long pause.

My eyes widened. "Prothean? But they're ... ?"

"I know, no longer with us. But the few syllables I can make out sound strikingly like asari, even though they're not. And what language in the universe is most closely related to asari?"

"Prothean. Of course."

"Let us go get Sister Grella," she continued. "Sister Grella studies Prothean, she may be able to actually translate something for us." Of course, Sister Grella! She translates and interprets old Prothean illuminated text for us.

And so we went to Sister Grella's room and pulled her from her morning chores of knitting hats for the premature children in hospitals in Illium to listen to the recording. She jumped too when I started the recording up. Like I said, I can't blame her, that sound is horrifying.

When it was over, she had a look of pure terror on her face. "Falere, I'm so sorry that you had to hear that so late at night. That must have been petrifying for you."

"It was, ma'am."

"Could you stand to play it one more time? I, um, I had a hard time listening to it for words the first time. I know it must be hard to listen to -- "

"It's fine," I said, and played it again. Of course we all winced when it started up.

She considered it carefully. "I think I only recognize one word," she said. "I think I hear 'umburna' in there, which means 'conquer.' But then, it's all so distorted, that it's really anyone's best guess."

"I'm not sure "conquer" is a helpful clue, either," said Mother Superior. "The Protheans were always conquering something, or being conquered." (Weren't they eventually conquered by the reapers, Morinth? Maybe it has something to do with that?) She sighed. "Grella, do you have any idea what the origins might be?"

Grella played with the knobs on the communication equipment for a bit, checking some settings that I didn't know about. "Not really. I assume it's recent, it's unlikely that some old Prothean message would just be bouncing around in space and just land here. They tended to leave messages in beacons anyway. I don't see that there's an origin either." She looked to the floor for a moment, then back up. "The good news is, that means that there's probably not a ship out there in trouble. The bad news is that we have no idea what any of this actually is."

We looked at each other for a moment, defeated, before Mother Superior said, "I'll send this on to asari high command. If it's got Prothean in it, it's important enough for them to hear." She stepped over to me, and put a hand on my shoulder. "For now, please try not to worry. We can't do anything else." She smiled. "Thank you for recording this, though. You did very well."

I smiled back, weakly. Morinth, I'm trying not to worry, I promise, but it's so hard. Mother Superior lectures us about the fear of the unknown. This is the very definition of that fear.

I don't know what else to do, besides pouring myself into prayer and the revival of my tomatoes.

--Falere

Chapter Text

Dearest Morinth,

Really, truly, I miss hearing from you. Do you think you could reply to me, even if it’s just one word?

I don't think something's right here at the monastery. Many sisters have been getting sick lately. It starts in their stomachs, and then they start feeling light headed, and dizzy.

I actually found one wandering about the other day! She was pacing in the hallway to the gardens, holding her head and moaning. I ran to her immediately. “Are you all right?”

But she couldn’t answer. I don’t think she could, anyway, she just sort of groaned louder. When I took her by the arm, I don’t think she noticed. I called out to nowhere, “Is there another sister that can help me?”

When no one answered, I led her down the hallway away from the door (can you imagine if she escaped?), and into the great hall. A few other sisters were there. “Please, I don’t think she’s well,” I called to them. I’m not sure if they heard me or her moaning, but they rushed over.

“I’ll take her,” said Sister Marcia. She’s really talented with the convalescing, I’m glad she was there. “I’ll get her to her room again. I promise.” As she left, sister in tow, she looked over her shoulder to me. “Falere, I know you, but try not to worry, okay?” And I’m trying, Morinth, I really am, but … !

I found out that we've started putting the sick to bed, so they can sleep. They obviously need it. Maybe they can sleep the sickness off? I’m going to tell myself that, that they can sleep this off and they’ll all wake up better. A doctor is going to come to the monastery tomorrow to look everyone over. I heard a rumor from the other sisters that the monastery doctor has been sent to us from asari high command. Do they really … care that much for us?

I’ve been wondering if the sickness comes from the font in the great hall, the one we all drink out of during services. They're getting sick to their stomach first, right? It must be something they're ingesting. (I hope it’s not the food, food tastes too good to be bad for you.) But then, why am I not sick? Rila is healthy too. Oh, Morinth, I hope I'm wrong. I don't want to be sick like this!

We're doing all we know to do for them in the meantime, but all we know to do is to let them rest, get them good food, and say extra prayers. I'm hoping the doctor brings us some answers tomorrow.

Rila and I are still well, Morinth. Please pray for our continued health.

-- Falere

Dearest Morinth,

I have tried so hard, but I think my tomatoes have passed on to the afterlife. They look so strange now. They are 100% wilted, and also mostly gray. I thought dead plants turned brown. It must be an Earth thing.

The doctor visited us yesterday. We knew we should be attending to our chores, but we couldn’t help it. Myself and a few of the other sisters sat outside the hallway leading to the sister’s rooms. We were afraid to sit much closer than that; what if Mother Superior found us slacking? We didn’t want to be heard. Not that we would have been heard anyway, Morinth. We were too scared to make a sound.

When the doctor came out of the last sister's room, she looked so pale. Thankfully, it wasn’t the same gray cast our sisters have, but a light blue sort of paleness. We all shot up from our squatting positions and tried to look as casual as we could when we heard her footprints.

When she reached us, she looked at us, wide eyed as we gathered around, trying not to look nervous. "I've never seen anything like this," she said. "I'll try to do some research, but I have no idea what this could be."

Her sentence hung in the air, Morinth. We thought she was going to actually, you know, give us an answer. When a doctor doesn’t know what’s wrong, how in the world will you ever find out?

I felt a hot, nervous energy in my chest when I realized we weren’t getting an answer today. Other sisters scowled, sighed, one even teared up. That doctor had better do some fantastic research, I don’t want anyone to leave us because of whatever this is!

The Mother Superior says that the doctor will come up with something, and we just need faith and prayer, but Morinth, I don't know this time.

The affected sisters have started to turn so pale. It’s a wicked gray. I hate that color now. Is all the life being drained out of them? They lie in bed and moan like they're in the worst pain. Some of the ones that got sick first act like they can't even remember their own name or where they come from. We've been working with them to help with their memory. We sit and read them their favorite books, or maybe show them pictures of their friends. One or two sisters kept a diary, we’ve even resorted to reading their diaries to them. Morinth, it’s doing nothing. They can’t remember a thing.

And everyone keeps telling me not to worry, but Morinth, I think it’s time to worry.

--Falere

Chapter Text

Dearest Morinth,

It was my turn to visit a sick sister. Morinth, she looks frightening. She's almost turned completely gray, and she's grown so thin. One of the nurses working with her said that you could see her ribs.

It was the oddest thing, though. As thin as I think she’s gotten? I think she may have also gotten taller. I didn’t mention it to the nurse, though.

I … didn’t know her well before she got sick. I’m not even sure of her name. I saw her around, but I never spoke to her. I feel terrible, I lost her before I knew her. Isn’t that silly? There’s hundreds of sisters here, I’d never learn all their names, and I still regret not knowing this one.

I sat with her, and asked how she was, but she could only moan. I told her things that I thought would make her feel better, about how we were all praying for her recovery and that the whole monastery would do whatever it took to get her through this. Morinth, I'm not sure she understood. I think her lucidity was gone.

Morinth, what if it doesn't come back?

I had nothing to read to her on my person, so I asked her to say the afternoon prayer with me, thinking that maybe the familiar words would bring comfort. She didn't reply, of course, so I decided to go on: our Goddess, who art above, show us your divine love and wisdom, and so on all the way through the prayer. (Do you remember it from when we were children?) She couldn't say it with me. She used to say it every day, I know she knew it! What is that disease doing to us that makes something like that totally disappear?

Are people on the outside getting sick like this? I’m so curious that it’s burning a hole in me. Surely the godess hasn’t struck only us … I’m sorry, that’s a terrible way to think.

I know I complain all the time that you don't write me often enough, but now your silence worries me even more. I could be writing to no one, Morinth. I could be writing to a ghost. I could be writing to someone who has already gotten sick.

I haven’t heard from mother, either. I sincerely hope you’re both just ignoring me, instead of something worse.

Please let me know that you’re okay.

-- Falere

Chapter Text

MORINTH!

Where are you? Morinth, you have to answer!

Wait, don't! Don't answer. Don't reply, don't come close to the monastery. Ever again. We're under attack!

It's the reapers, Morinth! They found us! They're turning us into ... things? Huge, hideous gray monsters! The sisters, Morinth, they started … growing! And they scream! And Morinth, this is the worst, most terrible thing I’ve ever seen!

Morinth, I'm hiding right now in the abbey. I found a pew turned over. These could be my last moments, and I couldn't bear to go to the beyond without contacting you. I'm going to go try to save Rila after this. I don't know where she is.

I’m out of time. Please, if you get this, try to contact mother. Or that Shepard woman. Or anyone! Morinth, please, for me, send help to the monastery!

I love you, Morinth!

-- Falere