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It’s 3 AM when a dull thudding pulls you out of your deep sleep. Your body feels heavy as you push yourself out of bed and make your way to the front door. When you swing it open you’re not surprised to see your boyfriend sitting on the floor in front of your apartment, one arm clutching his abdomen and the other in a fist hitting your door.
“Yukhei,” you say and the boy looks up at you from his spot on the floor. “I’m sorry I know it’s late but this is the only place I thought of coming” he replies. You reach your arms out helping him off the floor and into your side even though you’re like half his size but you manage.
“It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway” you tell him. You’re lying. Both you and Yukhei know it too but you’re grateful he doesn’t push and just gives you a low hum in response.
As usual, he slumps onto the couch and you flick on the lamp on your way to the bathroom to grab your first aid kit, wondering what damage needs to be fixed tonight. It’s kind of funny that as the nights go on you manage to fix all of the physical damage but the emotional damage grows even wider and you feel your heart grow heavy at the thought.
You make your way back and seat yourself in front of where Yukhei is. “Take off your shirt,” you say and you can see him wince when he lifts up his arms to pull the fabric over his head. Surprisingly tonight isn’t as bad as the others. Well if you consider a busted lip, countless bruises that are already turning a deep purple, cuts all over his torso and a small stab wound not bad.
“I'm sorry y/n things just… they got out of hand I promise I’ll be more careful, ” Yukhei says to you.
“Those are empty promises Yuk we both know it,” you say, avoiding eye contact, and simply focusing on the task at hand which is bandaging your boyfriend up for the millionth time.
His heart clenches at your harsh words and he opens his mouth to say more but decides against it. You finish disinfecting and wrapping his wounds feeling his eyes on you the entire time. You put away all the supplies and as you get up to take the kit back to the bathroom you feel Yuk’s large hand wrap around your small one.
“Please y/n, talk to me, look at me, anything baby please” Yukhei pleads and you feel your heart strings being tugged into a million directions because you want to be upset but you love him more than anything.
“What is there to talk about Yuk? It’s the same thing every night. You said you’d get off early, that we would order in and watch a movie, that we’d cuddle and lay together all night! I waited for you like an idiot expecting you to show up like I always do.” you choke out already feeling the pools of tears welling up in your eyes.
You can hear him mumble a curse word under his breath when he notices the stack of movies and snacks you had laid out on the coffee table, and it’s only when he throws his head back and is hit by the light of the lamp that you see just how tired he looks. Immediately you feel yourself soften because at the end of the day you want him to be safe and healthy.
Before he can even say anything in return you tell him maybe it’s for the best if you guys don’t do this tonight. You’re doing it for his sake you think that he should be resting up but you know in the back of your head that you’re doing it to protect yourself too. You’re about to leave and lock yourself up in your room when you hear him say,
“No.” you turn your head confused, “What??” you ask him because a part of you is unsure if you even really did hear it. “No, I’m not leaving not like this. Y/n you mean everything to me, I know what I do is dangerous and that you deserve so much more than that but I won’t lose you I can’t. I would do whatever it takes for you, name it and I’ll do it, I-I’ll leave the mafia, we’ll run away we can do whatever you want just please don’t give up on me not now please,” he pleads and you see the light catch one of his tears. Yukhei didn’t cry often, and you were the only person that ever saw him when he did.
“Yuk, I could never ask you to leave, no matter how much I hate not knowing whether you’re going to make it back every night it’s your life. It’s who you are as a person and I knew that when we started dating. I’m not saying I want you to leave or change, I just want you to be here more. I miss you all the time, and late night phone calls telling me not to wait up have gotten so old Yuk. I need you. Here.” you tell him, feeling a weight lifted off your chest.
He nods and tells you he’ll make a better effort, that you deserve the entire world and that he wants to give that to you. You both sit on the couch for what feels like hours and talk about everything you had been avoiding for the past few weeks. When you glance at the clock behind Yukhei you see it reads 5:45 A.M and even though you could sit there forever talking to him about everything you reluctantly say, “Yuk I think it’s time we call it a night.” He agrees and walks you to your room and it’s when he tucks you in and then turns on his heel that you say,
“Wait. C-can you stay? I don’t want to be alone tonight.” You see his shadow make his way back to the side of your bed and you hear him taking off his shoes and slide in next to you. You mumble a quick goodnight and turn so your back is facing him. It really does feel like time drags on when in reality it’s only a few seconds. “Hey, y/n?” Yukhei breaks the silence and you turn to see what he’s about to say.
He stares at you for a few seconds, searching your face for a sign or clue that he might still be losing you. “Can I kiss you? Please?” he asks and you can see the tears coming up making his pretty brown eyes glossy. You don’t even speak just give him a small nod and within a millisecond his lips are on yours, It’s desperate, needy, passionate from both ends and you don’t stop until you both have to come up for air.
You feel one of Yuk’s hand reach up to cup your cheek and the other snakes around your waist pulling you to his chest. You feel him kiss your shoulder and then start trailing kisses along your collarbone and up your neck. “I love you, y/n” he finally says “More than you know, more than I even know how to explain and express if I’m being honest but I just want you to know that you’re my priority, my entire world and I swear on my life I’ll do everything I can to make you happy.”
“I know Yuk, I love you too baby,” you say before reaching up and kissing him again spending the rest of the night intertwined in his warm embrace.