Chapter Text
“Remus, wake up!” was obviously the first thing that Remus heard the morning after he and Sirius dropped Harry off at Kings Cross Station. Eleven years of love and loss and children, and he couldn’t even sleep in on his first morning off. Typical.
“Remus I’m…” Remus rolled over and smothered Sirius with his pillow.
“Absolutely not.”
Sirius started cackling. Remus groaned and shoved off of him, getting out of bed and heading downstairs to the kitchen. The stove shivered a little when he walked in, and the blinds opened to emit the soft gray glow of a rainy September morning. Remus ran his fingers through his hair, a bit grayer than he’d prefer, but that’s just because blond hair going gray looks practically mousey and appearing similar to rodents had long since ceased to amuse him. Next, he set to work, moving through the kitchen to begin his routine. Tea first, always. The kettle purred a little when he filled it up and he smiled and put a hint of extra warmth in the charm he shot its way. As for food, that was a question to ponder while examining the pantry. What does one make their first day as a parent of a Hogwarts child? The first day alone with their spouse in what feels like a decade.
“If you’re even thinking about making anything other than a full English, I am going to make your life extremely difficult. And we’re legally married now, so our finances are all fucking intertwined. Think about all of the paperwork I’ll have to whine about during the divorce.”
Remus grabbed the mushrooms, eggs, and bacon and set back out into the kitchen.
After depositing the food on the counter, he grabbed an apron and tossed it at Sirius.
“You’re on bean duty, then.”
“You know I hate bean charms, they’re so temperamental.”
“Indeed,” Remus smirked, and turned back to slicing the bacon. “Oh, and could you grab the tomatoes from the garden, I noticed a few last night on the edges that should be ready.”
“Sure thing,” Sirius said, ducking out the door with the strings of his apron trailing loose behind him. Remus hit him with a quick lacing charm and chuckled when he heard Sirius grunt and loosen the knot.
An indiscriminate number of stinging hexes and laughs later the two men sat down at the kitchen table. Sirius’s apron was still damp in spots and covered with a disgusting sludge of bean debris and slime because he had tried to ratchet the heat too high to speed the process along and had ended up with bean juice splashing all down his front.
Remus’s flannel pajamas were spotless in contrast, and he broke the yolk of his egg with his fork, licking his lips preemptively as he mopped the molten yellow liquid up with a piece of toast.
“Remus you cannot start licking your lips before breakfast I will not be able to make it through the day otherwise and Ted and ‘Dromeda are coming over for dinner.”
Remus laughed too hard at that and choked a bit on the toast. Sirius slid the tea closer to him and said “Drink up Mr. Lupin, I can’t have that pretty face of yours going anywhere this morning, I’ve got plans.”
“You have plans for my face?”
“Face, body, mind, the whole lot of it really.”
“Merlin,” Remus replied. “Harry hasn’t been gone for 24 hours yet and you’re already back to some weird, lecherous teenage version of yourself. Have some dignity, Mr. Lupin.”
At the mention of Harry, Sirius’s face softened. “How do you think he’s doing? I hope his first night in the tower was alright. He and Ron were probably so wound up on sugar. Think about how much pudding Ron must have eaten last night.”
“I hope Draco did alright in the dungeons,” Remus said. Sirius nodded and then looked up to see Hedwig swooping into the window. She dropped a letter in the middle of the table, and then landed on Remus to peck his hair lightly while Sirius scoffed.
“Why does she always go to you first?”
“It’s because she, like you, has good taste.” Remus smiled as Hedwig launched herself over to Sirius and tugged the hair tie out of his tangled bun.
“Enough, you mad bird,” Sirius exclaimed after she clawed through his hair, and shrugged her off his shoulder. Before Remus could blink, he’d swiped the envelope from his hands and opened it up, flourishing the parchment aloft in the air.
Dear Moony and Pads,
Guess what! I got Gryffindor! So did Ron, but Draco is in Slytherin. Some mean girls were saying bat things about him in line last night. I yelled at them, but then Minne called me Mr. Potter and gave me one of her scary looks so I stopped.
The dorms are wicked but colder than my room at home. Why can’t I have a cat and an owl. The cat could keep me warm at night. I have to go find Hedwig in the owlery now to send you this! Fred said he’d take me after breakfast so I don’t get lost. I bet a cat would help me from getting lost.
Love,
Harry
p.s. we accidentally ended up on the roof of the train helping Neville find Trevor. It was brilliant!!
“Who the fuck is Trevor?” Sirius asked immediately after he finished reading.
“I think Neville’s toad?” Remus replied, burying his face in his hands.
“Merlin and Morgana. So this is what it feels like,” Sirius said, voice torn between laughter and utter despair.
“Remus, wake up.”
“Ugh Sirius. Again? How many times are we going to have sex before you’re sick of it. Can I bring Harry back from Scotland. This is starting to get ridiculous.”
“Excuse me, someone seems in a right mood this morning. I bet I can think of something that could help with that mood. Get you off on the right side of the bed, if you catch my drift.”
“Pads that wasn’t a drift, that was a fucking riptide.”
“I’ve always prided myself on my tidal intensity, if you-”
“Jesus Christ, cease and desist, please. I was having such a nice dream.”
“But I can make all your dreams come true, Moony. Didn’t you say that in your vows?”
“I dream of a morning where I can sleep in without being rudely awoken by a horny mutt. Is that too unreasonable of a dream?”
“Mmm, I’m afraid so,” Sirius said, slinging his arm over Remus’s torso and dragging him in closer, settling his hips against Remus’s arse, his chest against Remus’s back. “Isn’t this nice?”
“Sleep is also nice,” Remus retorted, grinding his hips in a sloppy circle.
“I’ll sleep when I’m dead. Right now, I have a gorgeous spouse to seduce.”
“You need to double check the definition of seduction because you’re doing an awfully poor job of it at the moment.”
“Moony please, will you just shut up for thirty seconds. Merlin you’re difficult when you’re sleepy.”
“Well maybe that’s why you—mmph” Remus was cut off with two fingers to the jaw, twisting his head around to find Sirius’s mouth warm and needy, pressing into his own with an urgency that Remus had thought was gone with time, like so many other things in his life. Before they could get too far, however, they were interrupted by an owl pecking on the window.
“Right now??” Sirius growled, throwing himself off the bed and stalking to the window to fling it open and beckon the disgruntled bird inside. It hopped onto the delivery tray, depositing a copy of Witch Weekly onto the floor while giving Sirius a skeptical look.
“Oh, it’s the magazine.”
“I didn’t realize it was coming out today.”
“Me either,” Sirius said, gingerly picking it up and looking at the photo of Remus and himself looking so buttoned up on the cover, and then glancing back at the grumpy, sleepy bundle of sheets on the bed behind him.
“I suppose we should just read it and get it over with, what do you think?”
“Might as well,” Sirius agreed. “But breakfast first?”
Remus nodded and slipped out of bed, padding across the room to grab his dressing gown.
“Good idea, I’m feeling crepes. How does that sound to you?”
Sirius walked over and grabbed Remus by the shoulders, spinning him around and kissing him soundly.
“Perfect, if it’s what you want.”
“Blech, give me weird teenage horndog back, please.” Remus sniffed, the corners of his mouth twitching up to betray his amusement.
“Absolutely not. Besides, I haven’t been weird teenage horndog. I’ve been utterly besotted spouse, with a suddenly empty nest.”
“Whatever,” Remus said.
“Wait a second Moony, I could have sworn I just heard Harry say something. Did you hear that? Harry are you back and sassing me already?”
“Ugh!” Remus said, turning to leave the room and head downstairs to the kitchen.
Sirius and Remus Spill All the golden text flashed on the inside of the magazine.
Full Interview pp. 6-9
“Why the fuck did we agree to do this in the first place?” Sirius asked, scowling down at the magazine like it had personally insulted his favorite hippogriff.
“Because we owed Regulus a favor, and he wanted to use it for something stupid, like getting with some sub-par journalist, apparently.”
“I can’t believe you let me agree to this,”
“Let you…this was decided between the two of you without ever consulting me.” Remus snapped back right as the fireplace in the kitchen flared green with the floo.
“How are my beautiful brother and his dashing husband doing,” Regulus’s smug voice emanated from the flames before his head appeared.
“Reg…” Sirius growled, whipping around to glare at his brother.
“No, no, let me get through first. Then I believe a dramatic reading is in order?”
“Absolutely not,” Remus replied, snatching the magazine off the table.
“Sorry Remus, but this is a longstanding Black tradition. When press comes out, we must celebrate with, what is it you’re making this morning? Crepes it looks like. Black men celebrate press with crepes and discussion.”
“His name is Lupin now,” Remus said, turning back to slicing strawberries.
“But he’ll always be a Black, despite all of your best efforts,” Regulus said, his posh accent somehow more infuriating than normal.
“Reg that’s enough, he’s not used to it,” Sirius growled, snatching the magazine from his Remus and shooing his brother back into the floo. When he was gone Sirius dropped down into a seat at the kitchen table.
“Well that was just delightful,” Remus said, pouring the first bit of batter into the pan.
“I’m sorry about that, you know how he gets,” Sirius said, reaching out to rub Remus’s wrist.
“I know, doesn’t stop him from being a fucking prick.”
“No, I think he rather encourages that image himself,” Sirius replied, laughing a little.
“I guess this means we have to go out after lunch,” Remus said, sighing.
“I think you’re right. What if it’s nasty out there?”
“We were planning on waiting the full seven days before leaving on the honeymoon.”
“Remus if we go to Diagon and people are behaving like fools, we will be leaving for Rome as soon as possible.”
When the train finally pulled into Termini Sirius sprang from his lazily contorted position of repose.
“Let’s go! Gelato!” he crowed, shouldering his way off the train.
Remus sighed and grabbed both of their bags, following at a slower pace amidst the full crush of people. By the time he made his way off the train Sirius was meters ahead, striding through the echoing marble hall towards the sunlight streaming through the leaded windows. Sirius was casually leaning against the wall of the station when Remus stepped outside and glanced around, taking in Sirius’s fingers twisting a strand of his hair in and out of a braid.
“I believe I was promised gelato,” Remus said, and Sirius perked up, pushing himself off the wall.
“Right you are! I know just the spot!”
The spot was near the Largo de Torro Argentina so they strode together through the ruins, cooing at the cats who came up to sniff them curiously. The apricot and pistachio flavors slid across Remus’s tongue like honey, while Sirius only survived a massive chocolate smear over his entire face with the help of a few discreet wiping spells. After pausing to discuss the somewhat out of place Temple B, the two men made their way back up the stairs and onto the street.
Their first stop in the city on official business was in Giacomo’s map shop. Remus hemmed and hawed over which weight parchment he wanted, and Sirius eyed some of the shiny tools with admiration. They somehow managed to tear themselves away from their vices and left the musty smelling store together with merely a small piece of leather and a pigeon quill.
Remus had a strange set to his mouth on the walk to their next stop. Sirius, however, looked practically gleeful.
“I fucking hate that we have to do this,” Remus grumbled.
“You wanted to come to Rome first.” Sirius replied, grinning fully and licking his teeth.
“Stop that,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.
“Stop what?”
“Doing whatever you’re doing with your mouth. It’s fucking indecent and we have to go do this ridiculous task that you have been waiting for probably two decades to tease me about.”
“Excuse me for wanting to know more about my own spouse, thank you very much,” Sirius replied.
The two of them bickered as they wound their way through the warm streets. Eventually they made their way up a hill and paused to exchange some euros for museum tickets in a sunny courtyard.
“Ready?” Sirius asked, suddenly looking concerned.
“As I’ll ever be,” Remus sighed.
They made their way through the museum, avoiding a spot where all of the other visitors seemed drawn to until Remus set his shoulders and nodded, and turned towards it.
When they drew up to the wolf Sirius exhaled shakily.
“I knew it would feel intense, but I had no idea it would be…”
“Quite so strong, I know,” Remus replied.
The wolf blinked and made eye contact with them, her bronze shoulders rising and falling slightly, the two babies below reaching up to grab her. Remus pulled the leather out and set it on the floor with the quill. She looked down at it, and then nodded her head, turning to make eye contact with Sirius. He froze under her gaze, still as the statues that cluttered the corners of the museum, that populated the city they were visiting. After a long pause something shifted, and Sirius looked away, searching for his husband beside him.
“I’m here,” Remus said softly, reaching out to link their pinkies together. “What did she say?”
“A lot of things,” Sirius said, leaning into Remus’s shoulder. “Thanks for letting me go first.”
“Anything for you,” Remus said, pressing a kiss onto Sirius’s temple.
“Alright, colosseum?” Sirius asked, perking up as a fresh batch of muggles entered the room and began ogling the wolf.
“Sounds good to me,” Remus said, and led the two of them out, back onto the sunny streets.
They peeled off from their tour group in the colosseum and went wandering with their invisibility pins turned on, taking note of all the ghosts of animals that were wandering around. A dragon snarled at them from within a cell, and further down several sphinxes were curled up around each other. They barely blinked when Sirius and Remus walked by, but the three-headed dogs let up a round of rough barks when the pair stopped to pet their silver bodies.
The magic oozed from the pores of the marble and sat on their skin like the fine layer of sweat and dirt kicked up from the ruins. Eventually the two of them had enough, and they snuck back out the way they came, ducking past their tour guide, now on his third round of the afternoon, and headed out into the twilight of the city.
“Where are we staying?” Remus asked after they had walked along the Tiber some, stopping to lean over and peer down at the numerous pairs of Italian teenagers intertwined down on the banks.
“That is not something I can tell you just yet. Let’s go for drinks and dinner in the ghetto, and then we can discuss our sleeping arrangements.”
“How proper of you, my goodness,” Remus chided.
“I am nothing if not a gentleman of impeccable upbringing,” Sirius joked, the dry twist in his voice barely detectable under the good-natured mirth.
They ate outside, of course. It was Rome in September, few things in life are more beautiful. The last crush of tourists is fading away, and the summer heat hints at something colder, wetter to come. Their waiter was from Albania and Remus engaged him in a conversation about place names, much to Sirius’s chagrin. After dinner the waiter beckoned them down into the basement to show them the marble column drums lodged into the foundation walls of the building, gleaming white against the darker grey stone in the flickering candle light.
Tucked away in the corner a woman was eating with two other people, the conversation at her table charged with excitement and nervous anticipation. Sirius did a doubletake when he caught sight of her, and quickly elbowing Remus in the ribs to garner a similar reaction of surprise. They went back upstairs and continued to sip bold red wine that had them puckering their mouths with laughter, teeth slowly staining purple in the darkness of the soft Roman evening.
“Can you believe that Ophrah Winfrey had dinner at the same spot as us?” Sirius giggled, stumbling into Remus. The two of them burst into laughter and veered into the rough walls of a nearby church, regaining their balance against the brick.
“Wait, I know this place,” Remus breathed, and he grabbed Sirius’s wrist and twisted.
They apparated inside with a pop, and Sirius startled when he opened his eyes and saw the massive, deteriorated stone face in front of him.
“What the fuck is that?” he asked, a bit of anxiety tinging his tone.
“Nothing to be afraid of,” Remus said, sauntering up to it and stepping over the silken cord that was supposed to keep people away from it.
He put both hands into the mouth of the statue and then looked back at Sirius over his shoulder.
“Ask me a question,” Remus said, slurring his words ever so slightly.
“Do you love me?” Sirius said, a wistful lilt to his voice.
“Sirius! A real question.” Remus snapped.
“That was real, tell me if you love me.”
“We got married on Sunday—it hasn’t even been a week yet!” Remus replied.
“Still, just answer the question.”
“Sirius, I love you more than anything and anyone. Except for maybe Harry. Somehow Prong’s sprog confuses the issue but I am willing to bet the feeling is mutual.”
“Mmm. So mutual,” Sirius said, and Remus laughed.
“Come on Romeo, let’s get you home. If you’re willing to give up the ghost and let me know where home is tonight.”
“It’s the theater!” Sirius said, puffing his chest out proudly.
“Morgana’s mustache, you can’t be serious.”
Both men paused, and then looked each other in the eyes before bursting into laughter.
“Shhh, shh, oh fuck, shut up Pads. We can’t do this. We’ll be caught and Regulus will drag our sorry arses in front of the Wizengamot.”
“I can’t believe you used the phrase Morgana’s mustache in the same sentence that you finally cracked and lost the game,” Sirius gasped. “Merlin, Moony, I was going to do some sort of romantic stroll up to the theater, but can we just head straight there?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” Remus replied, grabbing Sirius’s arm at the elbow and pulling him in for a kiss.
In the morning Remus packed a grumbling Sirius onto a train.
“I don’t understand why we have to do this so early in the morning.”
“You know exactly why and are just being a stubborn motherfucker,” Remus said, grabbing one of the bars above him for stability as the train got up to speed.
“And you know how I feel about that particular insult,” Sirius hissed.
Remus just blinked and ignored him.
“I can feel it coming, or is it going?” Sirius said after a few minutes.
“I’m not sure, but I can feel it to,” Remus replied, and suddenly the train jerked as though it had slammed into a wall, or skipped over a moat. The muggles on the train remained unbothered, some swaying slightly at the impact, but otherwise unconcerned. Remus and Sirius looked around with wide eyes, though.
The train was suddenly full of ghosts, and the windows were illuminated by the bright light of millions of ghosts in the tunnels outside the train as well.
“Holy fuck it’s so different from London,” Remus breathed.
“It’s incredible,” Sirius replied, looking around with wide eyes. He made eye contact with a gladiator and nodded. The woman brandished her trident menacingly and stalked onto the next car without looking back at them.
Eventually it was time to get off the train, and the two of them rode the escalator up to the street in a daze, soaking in the sensation of Rome’s deceased crowded all around and among them.
When they got outside Sirius took a look around, skeptical.
“This neighborhood is worse than I thought,” he said, curling his lip up.
Remus smacked him. “This is a perfectly lovely family neighborhood, but an entitled heir to blood money like yourself probably can’t tell.”
Remus navigated them a few blocks until the streets opened up and suddenly they were in a park, the sky blue and broad above them. When Sirius saw the aqueducts he grumbled.
“Which one do we have to climb, that one over there looks pretty easy.”
“You know it doesn’t work like that,” Remus said.
“Fuck this,” Sirius replied. “This is why camping is your thing with Harry, not mine.”
“Yes, yes. We all know. Sirius Black hates the great outdoors while in human form. But lucky for you, Padfoot is allowed to come out to play today.”
Sirius’s face lit up as he turned to look at Remus fully.
“You mean it, I can?”
“Yes,” Remus smiled.
Sirius shivered with excitement and suddenly a massive black dog was standing in front of Remus, a bit grayer in the face than Remus remembered, but still the same Padfoot.
“Let’s go, pup,” Remus said, and started jogging. The dog yipped and sprinted ahead, whirling circles around him, and tripping him up when he tried to duck in between Remus’s legs.
“Padfoot, calm down, we get to do this all day and it’s a while to go before we reach the right section.”
“I couldn’t care less,” Sirius’s rough tenor was back, and suddenly Remus was enveloped from behind by two strong arms and a face buried in the back of his neck.”
“Thank you, Moony,” Sirius said, kissing a line along Remus’s jaw and rubbing circles with his thumbs on the points of Remus’s hip bones.
“Anything for you,” Remus replied with a hum when Sirius began nibbling at his ear. “Ready to keep going?” Remus asked, and his ear got one more soft lick before the arms around him disappeared, and a low boof sounded from his knees. Remus knelt down to hug the black dog around the shoulders, burying his own face this time in the thick fur.
“Let’s do this,” Remus said after a moment, standing and striding off west again.