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“If you hurt Amy, if- if you even look at another woman, I will rip your eyes out of your face and make you eat them!”
“Geez, Rosa, way harsh! I’m not gonna hurt Amy, okay? Promise!” Jake looks mildly terrified as he watches a totally drunk Rosa leave the bar with her friend. She is still surprisingly eloquent.
He’s not going to hurt Amy!
Is he?
Oh my god, he’s going to hurt Amy!
I mean, of course, he’s Jake! He knows who he is, duh. His past experiences with woman haven’t been exactly cheery. So, he has a bad track record, that doesn’t mean he’s going to screw this up. Right?
It’s Amy. Gorgeous, snappy, competitive, Amy.
How could he even think about screwing it up?! They fit somehow. It makes sense. Yeah, they’ve only been together for like two weeks, but he’s doing alright so far. He thinks. He hasn’t exactly asked her. Who does that, even? After only two weeks? He doesn’t want to go Full Boyle and freak her out talking about his feelings. The fact that he’s even considering talking about his feelings for Amy with Amy is a big thing. Of course, he’s talked about his feelings a little. She knows he likes her, obviously. But not exactly how much. Six months undercover made for a lot of time to think. He’s pretty sure he kind of loves Amy, in a way that could actually be a lot. Something he’s never felt before, if he’s honest with himself. Jenny Gildenhorn didn’t count, not really.
But…two weeks is a short time. He knows he and Amy have worked together for a while now, but she really knows him best as a colleague and friend. Jake the boyfriend is new territory, for both of them. What if he says the wrong things? He can be a total jerk, he knows that. And what if he does everything wrong? How does being a boyfriend even work?! And why would Amy want him?! He can be totally immature and there’s the fact that he’s in so much debt he can’t even take her out to fancy places. What with his maxed out credit cards, and everything. Basically, he sucks because she deserves the world and he can’t provide her with that.
Jake knocks back the rest of his beer to keep from hyperventilating. He throws down some cash on the bar, grabs his jacket and makes his way out the door. He needs some air. Instead of getting in a cab, he decides to go for a walk. Before he realizes where he’s even going, he finds himself in Amy’s street, staring at her house. He takes a deep breath and decides he should just knock, instead of being a creep standing outside.
He’s not drunk, he doesn’t think. (He totally is, though.) Even if he is, this is a solid decision. He needs to break up with Amy Santiago. To save both of them the embarrassment of him messing everything up. If he could just shut off his heart hammering in his chest, this could go well.
Amy opens after his third knock and looks confused as Jake brushes past her into her hallway.
“Jake? Hi! What’s up?”
“Amy, I-”
“Yes?”
“I can’t do this. It’s – you’re great. More than great, actually, but-”
Amy just stares at him as he rambles.
“I’ve been thinking and I’m not good at this. I’m me and-”
“Jake, are you trying to break up with me?” Amy crosses her arms, but strangely doesn’t look upset.
“Yyyyes?” No? No. He’s an idiot.
“God, I’m going to kill Rosa!”
“What?”
“Is she going to rip your eyes out if you hurt me?”
“Wait, how do you know that? Were you just at the bar?!”
“No,” Amy laughs and steps closer, “she gave me the same speech yesterday.”
“Oh. Oh!” Rosa was worried about Amy hurting him as well.
“And it made me think, sure. But Jake, we wouldn’t be doing this if there wasn’t something here. And I don’t want you to break up with me. Do you want to break up with me?”
“Not even close.”
“Good.”
Amy beams up at him, as Jake takes in her appearance for the first time. She’s dressed in sweats and a 99 t-shirt and her hair is up in a messy bun. She looks comfy. And it’s late and he might actually be a bit drunk. The idea of cuddling with Amy sounds a lot better than breaking up with Amy.
She blushes as she catches his look. “What? I’m doing laundry.”
“You’re beautiful.” (He still can’t get over telling her that, by the way. It’s so much better than those times it was only okay to tell her she looked great.)
“You’re drunk.”
“You look soft!” Jake gives her puppy dog eyes, “can I stay? Pleaseee!”
“Come on, Casanova,” Amy rolls her eyes as she pulls him into her living room.
“Awesome! But aren’t you super worried about Rosa? Like, she’s really scary. And I can’t promise that I won’t-”
“Shut up, Jake!”
He passes out about twenty minutes into a re-run of Law & Order. Amy doesn’t mind because Jake is actually really cute when he sleeps.