Chapter Text
Part 1
Taehyung shoved whatever he could reach into his bag. His hands were shaking, proving how difficult it was to put everything in. He gritted his teeth and tried to calm his mind.
“It’s okay,” he said to himself. “You’re okay.”
He zipped his bag and stood up. He attempted to fix the crease on his black hoodie and paused by the mirror at the doorway.
The man staring back at him was a person Taehyung can no longer recognize. His eyes were dark, the bags heavy and obvious, his hair wild and falling to his eyes. He reached a hand to touch his reflection but thought better of it.
“I’m sorry,” He said. His voice was hoarse. “I’m sorry, I—”
He glanced at his hand and wiped it on his pants.
He could still feel the warm liquid on him. His hands, he shoved in his pocket, was clean. No dirt under his nails and they were perfectly clipped.
Taehyung swallowed, looking at his apartment before shoving his face mask on. He knew where he was going to, of course. He’d been going there his entire life.
He tried not to show how anxious he was as he was walking down the street after leaving his apartment building.
In the distance, he could hear a siren wailing. He was a good distance away from his building but he slowly sprinted to a run. The wind was cool in his face, it helped in forgetting the past few days.
He’s been on the run.
Taehyung reached the noisy street district. Just a few more distance and he could reach the other building. He walked with his head down.
“Hey, watch it,” A man shouted as he bumped into his shoulders. Taehyung raised his head up slightly and then bowed, making sure not to meet his eyes.
He resumed walking after he heard the man call him a ‘crazy bastard’.
What does he know?
“You’re fine,” He whispered shakily to himself. His phone was in his pocket. There was a glare of light to his right and he paused to see a bunch of flat screens on display. His face on display.
Taehyung winced. The man on the screen wasn’t the one he spotted at the mirror earlier. Here was a man beaten down, and the man on the screen was perfect. His hair neatly styled, crisp white shirt under his designer suit.
He’s seen his face under a lot of headlines, but this time, it was different.
No one certainly expected him as a suspect to the murder of a politician’s daughter.
Taehyung resumed walking under a faster pace. He noticed a group of students had paused to stare at him, whispering to each other.
“I learned my lesson, I’ll be a better man,” Taehyung practiced under his breath. They were empty words. He didn’t feel anything but triumph in killing the woman. He did it all for him.
That was a lie. Taehyung did it because he wanted to.
He reached the neighborhood and he nodded at the security as he scanned his ID. The gates opened and the man saluted at him. He waited for the elevator to come down. His phone buzzed and he took it out to glance at the message.
It’s not too late, hyung. Please come voluntarily.
It was his friend, Jungkook. The district police chief’s son. He had offered to plea for him, but Taehyung turned him down. The blood was on him, he wasn’t going to drag anyone else.
We can decrease your sentence. I know why you did it.
The elevator dinged and Taehyung entered. He pressed 9 and the doors slide close. The mirror reflected his face and Taehyung was only reminded of the past events. He lowered his mask.
You’re a fool, Kim Taehyung. He thought, finally reaching for his reflection. This won’t make you love him anymore than he does now.
The doors opened and he realized he hadn’t pulled his mask back up. This was the apartment building for the wealthy, where everyone knew everyone. The pair of old ladies screamed scandalously, one of them frantically pulling her phone out.
It fell off her hand and down to the floor. Taehyung picked it up and handed it over to her, but she had backed away and her friend pulled her in the elevator.
He lets his hand drop to his side. He’ll return her phone later.
He walked down the hall until he reached the one he was familiar with, the one by the end of the hall, apartment 904. Taehyung reached to push the pin down but decided against it. Instead, he rang the doorbell.
The speaker came to life, “Who is it?”
Taehyung opened his mouth, “…Hyung, it’s—”
The machine closed off and Taehyung tried to hide the pain from his eyes at being so blatantly rejected.
He wanted to at least say good bye before they caught him.
Taehyung leaned his forehead on the door, wondering if he should just enter by himself, when he heard a beep. The door was unlocked and he took a step back as it slowly opened.
He stared at him. Taehyung can see worry and sadness swimming in his eyes. He was hurting. Taehyung suddenly felt the guilt he should have been feeling from killing a person.
Before him, Seokjin stood. Tears flowing in his eyes. Seokjin reached for his hands but he pulled away, “Don’t touch me, hyung.” He said, “My hands are dirty.”
“Please come inside,” Seokjin said. “Someone will see you.”
Taehyung stepped inside and Seokjin shut the door. The sound from the television was faint and the hum of the heater did nothing to warm him up.
It was silent as they stood there.
Seokjin in tears, his face buried in his hands. Taehyung ran his hand through his hair as he watched the man he loved in pain.
“This wasn’t what I was expecting,” he said, breaking the silent.
“No,” Seokjin echoed. His voice was just as hoarse. Taehyung moved closer to him, and Seokjin dropped his hands. He took this as the chance to really look at Seokjin.
Seokjin’s eyes were swollen and red. There were tear stains on his red cheeks.
“I’m sorry.”
Taehyung doesn’t know if it was him who apologized or if it was Seokjin.
The blare of the sirens was heard in the distance, and Taehyung somehow knew that it was coming closer every second. The old lady had reported him, he’s not surprised.
“Are you going to explain?” Seokjin asked him.
Taehyung only shook his head.
“Can I touch you?” Seokjin tried.
He met his eyes, yes. “No.”
Seokjin ignored him. He took a step towards him and Taehyung took a step back, the sirens were outside now. Seokjin gingerly held his hand and Taehyung flinched. He tried to pull his hand away but Seokjin had already entwined their fingers together.
Slowly, Seokjin raised their hand together and he pressed a kiss at the back of Taehyung’s hand.
Taehyung watched Seokjin’s eyes flutter close. The room was dark, but the moonlight reflected on Seokjin’s face and Taehyung can see the wetness in his lashes.
The police were right outside their door, shouting for Taehyung to step out of the apartment.
“Why did you do it?” Seokjin asked quietly.
Taehyung smiled, he doesn’t know what kind of smile, but he tried.
“Because I love you, hyung.”
And then he walked out of the room, raising his hand to show defeat. They pushed him to the wall and cuffed him.
He realized he never got a chance to hear Seokjin's reply, if he did reply.
He tried to look back, to have his last chance to see Seokjin standing by the doorway, but they blocked him as more officers entered to ask the man if he was hurt.
Fools, Taehyung thought. He’d rather die than lay a hand on Seokjin.
He hopes, at the very least, that in his next life Seokjin would not be his cousin, and that he would have his chance.