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i swear when i grow up i won't just buy you a rose

Summary:

By the time Louis and Gemma reach school age, the dynamic has been set. Louis and Gemma are inseparable best friends, who natter on and on about nothing for hours at a time, while no-longer-a-baby Harry toddles around with them, his fingers curled around the sleeve of Louis’ jumper. He doesn’t contribute too much to the conversation, but Louis doesn’t mind as long as he gets to hear Harry’s infectious peals of laughter whenever he sees something remotely funny. Without even realising it, Louis finds himself doing increasingly silly things just to hear Harry giggle.

Notes:

This is for the lovely Nutella_enthusiast who gave me such delightful prompts. I'm so terrible at writing for a deadline so I hope it doesn't seem too rushed eeeeep. I also de-Americanised it because neither HL nor I am American, and I wanted it to seem as authentic as possible. So they're just those ages, but the British equivalent. It's unbeta'd bc I'm the worst, but I hope it's ok, and that you enjoy it, darling!!!

Prompt: Louis and Gemma are seniors, and Harry is a sophomore. Their families have been friends since they were born, and everyone expects Louis and Gemma to end up married some day, but no one realizes that Harry and Louis have been crushing on each other since like elementary school.

Title is from 'The Gambler' by fun.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The joke starts when they’re too young to really understand it. And now that they’re old enough to know what it means, it’s not really all that funny.

 

It dates back to the year 2 BH (Before Harry), when Jay and Anne both find themselves with a six-month-old Louis and a nine-month Gemma side-by-side on the changing table of their local childcare centre. Both infants are being remarkably well behaved; their chubby little torsos twisted so that they’re facing one another. Gemma is quietly burbling away while Louis keeps reaching out a chubby little fist to splay his palm against various regions of Gemma’s face. Their wide baby eyes are blinking slowly at one another, completely caught up in their own little world as their mums fasten their respective nappies.

 

‘Look at them,’ Anne coos. ‘Only just been introduced and they’ve already hit it off.’

 

‘Can’t wait to tell the story of how they first met at their wedding,’ Jay jokes, pushing a chunk of hair back from where it's fallen out of its bun. 

 

‘Love at first nappy change, hey,’ Anne remarks wryly, fastening the final strap of Gemma’s nappy and leaning forward to blow a raspberry against her round stomach. Gemma giggles and bats her fists against her mother’s head. ‘How’s that, baby girl? Much better?’

 

Jay smiles wistfully and looks across from where she’s struggling with Louis’ diaper. ‘You seem to have it down pat, eh?’

 

‘Loads of practice, love. D’you need a hand?’ Anne asks, one hand lightly tapping over Gemma’s belly as the other places the packet of baby wipes back into the changing bag.

 

‘I think I’ve nearly got it. Thanks, though.’ Jay’s brow furrows in concentration as she manages to finally attach the last strap of Louis’ nappy. ‘There we go! Nice and clean now, hey handsome!’

 

‘Well done, pet. Shall we clean up here and then take these two for a walk in the park? I’m feeling as if this whole playgroup thing is just an excuse to get together and moan about our husbands.’

 

‘Well I have no husband to moan about, so I’m definitely in the wrong place,’ Jay smiles sadly and turns to do up the clasps on Louis’ playsuit. ‘Just you and me babe, eh?’

 

‘Well then what are we still doing here? Let’s get these two their own private playgroup then.’

 

Anne and Jay scoop up their respective babies and make their way out of the changeroom.

 

-----

 

When Anne and her husband rush off to hospital at the very start of February roughly a year and a half later, a two-year-old Gemma goes to stay with Louis and his mother. Granted, she’d spent almost as much time at their house as she had at her own, but this time she’ll return home to a brand new baby. 

 

When her parents drop her out the front of Louis’ house she waves them a cursory goodbye as she bounds up the path to the unlocked front door.

 

‘Looooooooooooou!’ she bellows, the size of her voice betraying her short stature. ‘I’m heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere!’

 

‘Gem! Hi!’ Louis giggles, toddling out of the kitchen when he hears her voice. ‘Why are you here?’

 

‘Ma and Da have gone to the hospital because Other Lou is being borned,’ Gemma grins almost demonically. ‘So I’m here to stay with my Lou.’

 

Louis giggles, grabs Gemma by the wrist and drags her towards the living room.

 

‘Come play pirates,’ he demands.

 

They play pirates and then mermaids and then school all afternoon until the phone rings just as Jay turns the oven on for dinner.

 

‘Hello?’ she answers, stretching the phone cord as long as it can go to try and reach the stove. 

 

‘Really!’ she shrieks, hand flying up to cover her mouth. ‘How wonderful, Harry, such a sweet name. Of course. We’ll be there in ten. Oh A, I’m so happy for you, love. G and L and I will see you very soon. Alright babe, congrats. Bye now.’

 

‘Gemma!’ Jay yells giddily. ‘Where are you, pet?’

 

‘Laundry, Mum!’ Louis calls, his voice slightly muffled.

 

Jay hurries to the laundry, but finds no children, only giggling sheets.

 

‘Louis Troy Austin and Gemma Anne Styles, where on God’s green Earth are you!’

 

Suddenly the piles of laundry rear up and reveal two small and rumpled children.

 

‘Roaaaaaaaaaaaar!’ Gemma well, roars, her mouth contorting wildly.

 

‘Well my little dinosaurs, another little dinosaur has just been hatched so how about we extricate ourselves from those unfortunately freshly-washed sheets and go pay him a visit, hmm?’

 

‘Don’t be silly, Mummy, dinosaurs have been dead for years! Me and Gem were only just pretending!’ Louis giggles, the movement of his shoulders dislodging a sock resting there.

 

‘Well you certainly fooled me!’

 

Louis and Gemma dissolve into giggles, their hair all mussed up from hiding under the laundry.

 

‘Alright monsters, into the car, we’ve got a baby monster to go and visit. Chop chop!’ Jay shepherds them out the door and into the car.

 

When they reach the hospital, they head straight for the maternity ward. Louis and Gemma skip down the hallways, chattering about what the baby will look like, and the likelihood of him just being another Gemma but probably with less hair. 

 

They find Anne’s room, and both children shriek and run straight up to a tired-looking Anne who’s cuddling a swaddle of blankets in the hospital bed. Des is sitting in a chair at her bedside, also looking appropriately exhausted.

 

‘Hi my loves,’ Anne smiles when she sees the children. ‘This is little Harry, your baby brother, Gems. Isn’t he lovely?’

 

Gemma and Louis’ faces are identical images of awe. They stare at the baby, almost unmoving in Anne’s arms as she leans forward to offer them a better view.

 

Gemma’s face screws up once she gets a closer look. ‘He looks like a sultana.’

 

‘Well so do you, with your face like that,’ Anne chides. ‘He’ll look less wrinkly soon. Would you like to hold him in the meantime?’

 

Gemma shrugs noncommittally, but thrusts her arms out to hold baby Harry, her chubby fists opening and closing in anticipation.

 

Jay manoeuvres her until she’s sitting in a chair, and then baby Harry is passed from Anne to Jay to Gemma. She cradles him close to her chest, arms wrapped tightly around the swaddled infant who is still sleeping silently. 

 

‘He’s alright, I guess,’ Gemma smiles. ‘A bit quiet, but.’

 

‘Hopefully he stays quiet,’ Anne mutters, causing Jay to smirk and squeeze her shoulder. ‘You certainly weren’t.’

 

‘Cute but boring,’ Gemma decides. ‘I’m a little bored of him already; Louis’ turn.’

 

She makes as if to stand up from the chair, causing all the mobile adults in the room to rush towards her in case she drops Harry.

 

‘Careful, poppet,’ Des winces as he extricates Harry from her arms. ‘Little Harry is very, very breakable at the moment.’

 

Gemma just shrugs and hops off her chair.

 

‘Lou bear, would you like a hold?’ Anne asks, turning her gaze upon an uncharacteristically quiet Louis.

 

Louis rips his gaze away from where it’s been locked upon baby Harry and nods, his eyes very wide and very serious.

 

Jay lifts him up into the chair and makes him promise to hold Harry properly and to act like a big boy. Louis places his hand over his heart and mouths ‘promise.’

 

Louis looks down in wonderment as Des gently lowers Harry into his arms. He adjusts his hold around the infant, allowing Harry to fit properly and comfortably in his arms. 

 

Harry starts to wriggle a little, moving his head from shoulder to shoulder. Then suddenly his eyes blink open, wide and bright and staring straight up at Louis. Jay notices and tenses, bracing for the inevitable bawling that occurs when new-borns wake up, but it never comes. Instead, Harry is peering up at Louis curiously, as if Louis is simultaneously the most fascinating yet comforting thing he’s ever encountered in his very short life. Louis is equally fixated, his eyes locked with Harry’s bluey-green ones and his arms subconsciously shifting to hold Harry even tighter than before. 

 

‘Louis, love.’ Louis jumps slightly as Jay nudges him, snapping him out of his trance. ‘Now that little Harry’s awake, I think we ought to give him back to Anne, hey?’

 

Louis nods solemnly, and leans down to press his lips lightly against Harry’s forehead, just as his Mum does to him after tucking him into bed.

 

‘Bye-bye, baby Harry,’ he whispers as Jay shuffles Harry into her arms.

 

Noticing that Louis has been relieved of baby-holding duty, Gemma toddles over and heaves herself up onto the chair and half into Louis’ lap.

 

‘You’re a lot bigger than baby Harry,’ he giggles, shoving Gemma slightly.

 

She frowns and pouts, sliding herself to the left so she’s pressed up shoulder to shoulder with Louis. ’Not my fault he’s super tiny.’

 

Louis grins and shrugs cheekily, pulling his arm out from where Gemma was leaning back uncomfortably on it.

 

Gemma’s scowl deepens, but is interrupted by a yawn.

 

‘Harry is very tiring,’ she grumbles, resting her head on Louis’ shoulder.

 

Louis doesn’t say anything just pats her gently on the knee, his attention drawn to where Harry is cradled in Anne’s arms.

 

‘Sweetheart, we best be…’ Jay trails off as she turns her head to see Louis and Gemma cuddled up together on the chair, Gemma nearly asleep and Louis’ gaze resting on Harry in his mother’s arms.

 

Jay nudges Anne gently.

 

‘Look at them,’ she whispers. ‘So lovely, aren’t they?’

 

Anne coos, shifting Harry gently in her arms. 

 

‘It’s like they’re married already,’ she grins, bouncing a suddenly grumbly Harry. ‘What’s gotten into you, mister?’

 

Jay takes Harry's fussing as her cue to gently rouse the two toddlers from their slumber

 

-----

 

By the time Louis and Gemma reach school age, the dynamic has been set. Louis and Gemma are inseparable best friends, who natter on and on about nothing for hours at a time, while no-longer-a-baby Harry toddles around with them, his fingers curled around the sleeve of Louis’ jumper. He doesn’t contribute too much to the conversation, but Louis doesn’t mind as long as he gets to hear Harry’s infectious peals of laughter whenever he sees something remotely funny. Without even realising it, Louis finds himself doing increasingly silly things just to hear Harry giggle. 

 

When Louis and Gemma were off at pre-school, Harry would sit despondently in the front room, half-heartedly poking at his train set. He would stare longingly at the window until Jay’s car pulled up in the driveway and Louis and Gemma would tumble out. Gemma would always rush straight to her mother and present her with a drawing or sculpture or picture book, demanding Anne’s attention. Meanwhile, Louis would rush straight to where Harry was always curled up on his play mat. Harry’s face always split open into the biggest grin when he saw Louis, and Louis would always feel his chest tighten because it was as if the sun had risen on Harry’s face. Louis always took every opportunity to bathe in Harry’s light.

 

Louis and Gemma's first day of school and Harry's first day of kindergarten happen to coincide, which unfortunately results in Harry believing he's finally getting to accompany Gemma and Louis to their classes. 

 

He clutches Louis' sleeve from the second Jay drops him off at the Styles residence on the morning of Harry's first day of kindergarten. During the car ride to school, Harry systematically takes every item out of his backpack and presents it to Louis, his excitement written all over his face. Gemma gets bored somewhere after the Spider-Man lunchbox, but Louis indulges him. The way Harry's eyes are so wide and bright makes Louis's chest feel fizzy like a shaken-up can of soda. Harry makes him feel like that a lot - so full of affection he thinks he could explode. 

 

They make it to Harry's classroom with minimal fuss and meet his teacher, a kind woman who is immediately charmed by Harry's quiet politeness and big green doe eyes.  She points him towards his cubby and suggests he place his rucksack there before saying goodbye to his mother and 'siblings'. 

 

'Lou's not my brother,' Harry giggles. 'And he's in school with me!'

 

'Harry, sweetie. Lou's not in this class. He's in a class with the other big boys and girls. With Gems.'

 

Harry's face fell so quickly it was almost comical. His eyes, once bright with enthusiasm and excitement were now shiny with tears.

 

'You're... You're not staying?' Harry whispered, looking up at Louis as if he were in physical pain. 

 

Louis nods, tears pricking in the corner of his own eyes. 

 

'This isn't my class, Haz. You're younger so you're in a different class.'

 

Harry's lower lip trembles, and his hand slides down from Louis's sleeve to grasp his hand.

 

'Lou,' he whimpers, and Louis feels as if his heart is being torn in two.

 

Louis says nothing, just pulls Harry in close and wraps his arms around him.

 

'I'll come visit at play times and lunch times and I'll come collect you after school and bring you before school,' Louis whispers, his lips moving against the soft strands of Harry's hair. 'I'm so sorry, Hazza.'

 

'Lou, sweetpea,' Anne says, and Louis jumps because for a second, he'd forgotten that there were other people in the world except him and Harry. 'You're going to be late for your class, love.'

 

Louis scrunches his eyes closed, and squeezes Harry even tighter against his chest. He pulls back, and presses his lips softly against Harry's forehead.

 

'See you in a few hours, Hazza.' 

 

And with that Louis walks away. Gemma gives him a perfunctory hug, and darts off with Louis to find their own classroom.

 

Anne smiles sadly at Harry, and wipes away a few tears of her own. 

 

'Be good, love. I know it's a tad scary without Louis and Gemma, but you're going to be fine. I'll see you at home time, alright?'

 

Harry nods and she presses a kiss to his cheek.

 

'Alright, baby, I better go find that pesky married couple before they wind up somewhere they're not meant to be. I love you, H. Have a lovely day, pet.'

 

And with that, she presses another kiss to his cheek, ruffles his hair and turns to walk out the door before she starts crying properly. 

 

-----

 

In the Autumn of that year, Jay marries the man she's been seeing. Mark is excellent, and more than adequately fulfills the role of father figure that Louis' biological dad abandoned long ago. 

 

The wedding is a quiet and relatively casual affair held in the town's gardens. Louis and Harry are dressed in tiny matching suits, white carnations looped through their button holes. Gemma is dressed in a powder blue ruched dress that she only gets a little dirty when she's kicking a football back and forwards with Louis before the ceremony. 

 

Louis is Jay's maid of honour, a position he doesn't quite understand but is overjoyed to be bestowed with. 

 

Jay takes him aside just before the ceremony, and pulls him onto her lap in a big cushy armchair in her dressing room.

 

She runs her fingers through his slightly sweaty hair, arranging it back to the way it was styled before Louis had played soccer with Gemma. Harry'd been sitting on the sidelines, his eyes not tracking the movement of the ball but rather watching Louis as he moved over the small patch of grass next to he church. Louis had noticed, and grinned at him from under his increasingly sweaty fringe whenever he'd had a chance.

 

'Poppet,' Jay starts, her eyes welling up a little in the corners. 'I know it's always been you and me against the world. And I know now Mark's becoming part of the family it must feel a little funny. Maybe like you're not my number one boy any more. But sweetheart, I just want you to know that you are always, always going to be my number one boy, okay? No matter how many new members our family gets, you are my best friend and my favourite person and I will always love you. Okay?'

 

Louis nods, and giggles a little as he wiggles around in the folds of white taffeta and lace.

 

'It's okay, Mum,' he says, looping his arms around Jay's neck so he can look her in the eyes. 'It's always been you and me. Even though Hazza and Gem and Anne and Des and Dusty the cat are our family too, they don't replace you and me.'

 

'Nothing can,' Jay whispers, locking her blue eyes onto Louis' as she strokes his cheek.

 

He grins at her toothily, with one small gap where a baby tooth had fallen out while he was playing on the playground with Harry and Gemma.

 

She smiles, and wipes away a stray tear from her cheek before pulling Louis into a hug, messing up his hair even more. They pull back and Jay laughs wetly, reaching out to try and push Louis' hair back into place. 

 

'And you're right, darling. Gemma and Harry and Anne and Des and even Dusty the cat are our family. And now Mark is going to be a member of our family now because I'm marrying him. I guess when you and Gemma do this whole marriage thing you'll become like an extra strong family,' she giggles. 

 

Louis' grin slips a little, but Jay is too busy hefting him up and onto the ground to notice. 

 

'C'mon number one boy, let's go get me married,' Jay exclaims, grabbing Louis' hand and swinging it as they walk towards where Anne is waiting with their bouquets. 

 

-----

 

One night, when Louis is ten and Harry is eight, Louis is dozing in his bed when his mother knocks gently at his door. 

 

'Lou, love,' Jay whispers, voice low to avoid waking her young daughters in the room next door. 'Harry's on the phone for you.'

 

Louis jerks upright, his heart racing. The desire to protect Harry, to wrap him up in his arms and cocoon him away from all harm forks up his spine. 

 

Jay passes him the phone, and he clutches it to his ear.

 

'Hazza? I’m here, what’s wrong?’

 

All Louis can hear is sobbing.

 

‘Hazza, love. What’s the matter? Why are you crying?’ Louis looks desperately up at his mother as hot tears begin to well in his eyes.

 

‘Mum and Dad…’ is all Harry manages to choke out before a fresh wave of sobs overwhelm him.

 

‘Hazza, what about your mum and dad?’ Louis asks, tears slipping down his cheeks. ‘They love you no matter what, yeah?’

 

Jay’s slowly rubbing circles against Louis’ back, and even through his thin and ratty Spiderman pyjama top he’s comforted by his mother’s presence. And that makes him feel even worse, that he’s surrounded by parental support and adoration at a time where Harry clearly feels like he’s not.

 

‘They’re…’ Harry draws in great big sucking breaths, a vain attempt to calm himself down. ‘They’re getting a divorce.’

 

Harry starts wailing afresh, and Louis feels his heart physically constrict in an utterly unpleasant way.

 

‘Hazza,’ he says, his voice breaking on the second syllable. ‘Hazza.’

 

More tears roll down Louis face as he pictures Harry alone in his room, huddled up under his duvet like he always does when he’s upset, unruly curls poking out from under the covers and face red and blotchy from the tears. Suddenly, Louis’ arms ache, the need to hold Harry so overwhelming he finds his fists clenching around phantom limbs. He needs Harry with him now.

 

‘Hazza, do - do you want to come over?’ Louis stammers, blinking back tears.

 

‘I can’t Lou, it’s way too late. Mum thinks I’m asleep, so does Gem,’ he gulps. ‘I had to tippy-toe out to the hallway and grab the phone to call you. Gemma was sleeping half on top of me so it was very hard to sneak away,’ he chuckles wetly.

 

Louis laughs, picturing Harry carefully extricating himself out from underneath a sleeping Gemma and commando rolling to the phone situated in the hallway.

 

‘Are you okay, though?’ Louis asks once their laughter has died down.

 

Harry’s silent for a few seconds, and Louis can picture him biting his lip like he always does when he’s unsure how to phrase something.

 

‘Yeah, Lou, I’m alright,’ he eventually whispers.

 

Louis releases a breathe that he didn’t realize he’d been holding.

 

‘Okay, Haz. Come over first thing tomorrow, yeah? I need to check for myself that you’re okay.’

 

‘Sure, Lou,’ Harry whispers, and Louis thinks he can hear his smile.

 

Jay nudges Louis in the back, mouthing ‘Gemma?’.

 

‘Oh yeah, Haz, is Gemma okay too?’ Louis asks, and Jay squeezes his shoulder as if to say good boy.

 

‘Well she’s sleeping, so she’s doing better than me, I guess.’

 

Louis grimaces.

 

‘Haz…’

 

‘I’m okay, Lou, really. I’ll see you in the morning, okay? All this crying has made me sleepy. I gotta sleep.’

 

‘Alright, Haz. Call me again if you can’t sleep.’

 

‘Okay Lou. G’night. Love you.’

 

‘Night Haz, love you too.’

 

Louis waits for Harry to end the call, then passes the phone to his mother with a sad smile.

 

‘Anne and Des are getting a divorce.’

 

Jay presses her lips together.

 

‘I guess you already knew that.’

 

‘I had an idea it was happening,’ she grimaces, running her hand through Louis’ hair. ‘These things happen.’

 

‘I guess,’ Louis sighs, suddenly overcome with a rush of exhaustion. ‘Harry’s coming over first thing tomorrow.’

 

‘And Gemma,’ Jay raises her eyebrows.

 

‘Yeah, I guess, if she wants. We might play some footie or something, I don’t know.’

 

‘That’s a good idea, pet. Take their minds off it. Maybe play you and Gems against Harry, eh? The old marrieds against the young’un,’ Jay chuckles.

 

‘I think Harry’d rather watch than play, but we’ll see, Mum,’ Louis yawns, lying back down. ‘G’night Mum, love you.’

 

‘Love you too, pet. Always. See you in the morning.’ Jay pecks him on the forehead and leaves the room.

 

Louis closes his eyes, and imagines that Harry’s lying there next to him, his warm body occupying the empty space next to Louis, burrowing into Louis like he’ll protect him from all harm. Louis wraps his arms around his pillow instead, and drifts slowly off to sleep.

-----

 

One night when Louis is sixteen, Louis is in his room watching the telly when his bedroom door bursts open.

 

‘Lou,’ Harry pants, his cheeks flushed from running from his house.

 

‘Hey Haz. What’s going on? Why are you so sweaty?’ Louis’ brow furrows in confusion.

 

‘Ran from mine. Got something to tell you,’ Harry puffs, his shoulders rising and falling as he gulps in oxygen.

 

He makes his way over to Louis’ bed and flings himself down onto it. Louis moves so that his body is curved inward, facing Harry just like they’ve done every time one of them has a secret to share. In the early days, the secrets were small and largely insignificant, but something tells Louis that the one Harry is about to tell him is anything but.

 

Louis fixes his gaze on Harry, waiting patiently. He’s not often quiet, but those brief and infrequent occurrences happen to correlate with the times Harry needs him. Louis pushes that thought aside, unsure of what it means.

 

Harry closes his eyes, and grabs onto the hem of Louis’ shirt with his fingers as if to ground himself. His eyes open, and lock onto Louis’.

 

‘Lou, I – I’m, I’m… I’m gay.’ His voice catches as he whispers the part.

 

Louis’ eyes widen, his lips parting in surprise.

 

‘Hazza, that’s awesome, mate,’ he croaks, reaching out and pulling Harry against his chest. ‘That’s a big thing, and I’m proud of you.’

 

Harry just sniffles and ducks his head, burrowing into Louis’ chest. Louis’ hands come up to rake through Harry’s hair, just like Louis’ own mother does for him when he’s upset.

 

‘I’m so proud of you,’ Louis repeats into Harry’s shoulder. Harry just lets out a long shuddery exhale, and presses his forehead closer to Louis’ breastbone.

 

They lie there like that for awhile, their chests rising and falling softly, skirting close to the edges of sleep but their minds whirring too quickly to doze off.

 

Suddenly, Louis can hear his mum calling him from downstairs.

 

‘Lou, your other half is here!’ she yells.

 

Harry and Louis roll their eyes at each other. That joke isn’t really funny anymore. Louis and Gemma are painfully platonic – Louis can’t even picture himself kissing Gemma, let alone marrying her.

 

 Gemma wraps her head around his bedroom door.

 

‘Hi,’ she whispers, slipping into the room. ‘There you are, H.’

 

Harry offers her a sad smile, and she moves over to the bed to lie down on his other side.

 

‘Bunch up, short stack,’ she teases, and Harry wiggles a little closer into Louis to accommodate her.

 

‘You can’t just tell me something like that then run off, H,’ she chides, wrapping an arm around him. ‘You had me worried sick. Although, I did have an idea of where to find you. Guess I was right, eh?’

 

‘Sorry, Gems,’ Harry whispers into the folds of Louis’ t-shirt. ‘I had to tell Lou too.’

 

Gemma nods, and lifts her head up to look at Louis. He’s biting his lip trying to stifle a smile, as if the fact that Harry needs him is something that pleases him enormously.

 

‘Alright, H. When we’re done with our group snuggle, we can go home and tell Mum if you want. Lou can come too if you want.’

 

Harry scrunches up his eyes and folds himself even more tightly against Louis, a few more tears leaking out of his eyes.

 

‘We can figure all that out tomorrow. Don’t let it spoil our cuddle now, eh?’ Louis suggests, gently pinching Harry’s sides and enjoying the way it makes Harry squirm against him.

 

‘Mmhmm. G’night Lou, g’night Gems. Thanks for everything, love you,’ Harry murmurs, wriggling into a slightly more comfortable position.

 

Harry falls asleep remarkably quickly after that, soothed by being cocooned by his two favourite people. Gemma drops off not too long after that, her soft rumbly snores making Louis roll his eyes up at the ceiling. If Harry were awake, he and Louis would make a joke about Gemma sounding like a poor-quality lawnmower. But Harry isn’t awake, and Louis’ mind is whirring, trying to process this new information that Harry likes boys. Louis knows that it doesn’t change how he views Harry, that he loves Harry unconditionally. He doesn’t love him more than he loves Gemma, but it’s in a different way. He doesn’t quite have a word for the way he loves Harry, and so he remains awake for hours trying to find one. He doesn’t know when he finally falls asleep, but he dreams a vivid dream of folding a tiny version of Harry into his shirt pocket while he fights off dragons with a sword, the warmth radiating from miniature Harry directly over his heart.

 

-----

 

Louis spends the next two years observing Harry, watching as he transforms from someone who is so unsure of himself and his sexuality, to someone who is completely at peace with himself. He watches as the cherubic kid blossoms into a cheeky and charming teenager, one that oozes charisma but still maintains his childish enthusiasm and wide-eyed nature.

 

As Harry grows, Louis finds that the still unnamed feeling he has for Harry grows too. His chest constricts a little bit tighter every time Harry smiles at him, and he has to work extra hard to dispel the fond that dawns on his face whenever Harry does anything even remotely endearing.

 

And so the feeling strengthens, just underneath the surface and twisting in Louis’ gut every time anyone so much as mentions Harry.

 

It all comes to a head one night. Harry is at home, mindlessly watching the telly when Louis arrives, and barges into the house as he always does.

 

He snags an apple from the kitchen, and makes his way into the living room.

 

‘Oh hey, Hazza. Have you seen Gem?’ he grins, helplessly endeared by seeing Harry curled up on the sofa like a cat.

 

‘She’s not here, I think she’s at a boy’shouse,’ Harry waggles his eyebrows cartoonishly.

 

‘Oh wow, go Gem,’ Louis grins, plopping down on the sofa. ‘Budge up.’

 

Harry acquiesces, and allows Louis to curl up around him.

 

‘Anne out?’ Louis asks.

 

‘Mmhmm, date night with Robin.’

 

‘Maybe we should start calling her Batman, eh?’

 

Harry snorts, then they settle into silence and watch the telly.

 

Hours later, Louis jolts awake. Harry is cradled in his arms, his lips open and pressed against the hot skin of Louis’ neck.

 

It hits Louis then.

 

The love he feels for Harry crashes over him like a wave, and he can feel his mind stumbling, trying to keep up with his heart.

 

He loves Harry. Like, loves him loves him. Not in the way they casually say when they say goodnight or the way they write it in every birthday card.

 

He wants to kiss Harry, and cuddle Harry, and feel every inch of Harry’s warm skin pressed against him and he wants to feel the weight of Harry’s cock in his palm but most of all he wants to keep Harry forever.

 

He gasps, and the sound jerks Harry into consciousness. His eyes slowly open, his eyelashes long and feathery and casting intricate shadows over his cheekbones.

 

His moves, locking his eyes onto Louis’. And Louis knows, he just knows. Harry feels the same way. God, how did he not see it before? Now he’s aware of it, he can feel it vibrating from all over Harry’s body like a force-field.

 

Louis swallows, and leans his head forward slightly, just enough to press his lips gently against Harry’s.

 

He can feel Harry’s gasp as their lips meet, and he presses their lips together again, and again and again and again, slipping his tongue into Harry’s mouth and groaning when he feels Harry twist to press him into the sofa cushions.

 

They kiss for what seems like hours, rutting their hard cocks against each other on the sofa like the horny teenagers they are. When it all becomes too much, and Harry’s eyes roll back into his head as comes, it sends Louis hurtling off towards his own orgasm. When they’ve both come down from their highs, they grin at each other, and dissolve into a fit of giggles, so overwhelmed by the feeling that the past sixteen years have all been leading up to this. They definitely have.

 -----

 

They've been sneaking around for close to half a year now. It's not very difficult to find excuses to see each other when you're already so firmly entrenched in the other's life. Louis will simply tell his mother that he's going to Harry and Gemma's to do anything from watch TV to see Gemma's dress for prom and he's set for a few hours of kissing Harry on the sofa or fooling around in his bed. It's lovely, and fun, and exciting, and they're both full to the brim with giddy happiness, always on the brink of overflowing and spilling over everyone. But they can't, not just yet. They don't really know how their parents would react, considering the intricate narrative they'd constructed wherein Gemma and Louis are soul mates and will get married one day.

 

That joke may have been mildly humorous back when they were too young to understand it, but now it is distinctly unfunny and resoundingly untrue.

 

Harry, Gemma, Anne and her boyfriend Robin are over at the Tomlinsons' for dinner one night, as they often are. Harry had come over straight after school, and he and Louis had sucked each other off before Jay came home with the girls and demanded they help her prepare dinner. They'd stood side by side at the kitchen bench, bumping their hips together gently as they peeled and chopped vegetables, identical dopey grins on their faces.

 

And now, they're eating, all eleven of them jammed around the small table, elbow to elbow and arms everywhere passing condiments and salads and bread rolls. It's the same messy affair that's been occurring every couple of weeks since Jay and Anne met in that baby change room nearly eighteen years ago.

 

Both families are chatting, filling each other in on their weeks, discussing holiday plans and the likelihood of obtaining tickets for the next Manchester United game.

 

Harry has his ankle hooked around Louis’, and his lips attempting to supress a smirk as he listens to Louis’ little sister Daisy tell him about this new boyband she’s infatuated with.

 

Louis and Gemma are bickering about one of their teachers, and whether he had taken an active dislike to Louis ever since Louis had poured water over the man’s desk chair before class one day. Louis swears the two incidences are isolated, but Gemma isn’t convinced. They’re trading barbs and insults as their parents look on, thoroughly entertained.

 

‘Oh you two, always bickering like an old married couple,’ Anne rolls her eyes, moving to dole more peas out onto her plate.

 

Louis stiffens, his foot slipping out from underneath Harry’s. He’s overcome with a hot spike of annoyance that burns from the base of his spine up to his mouth.

 

‘Actually, I think I’d rather marry Harry.’

 

The words are out before he can think, and he can hear Harry’s gasp from next to him. He whips around to face him, and sees that Harry’s features have transformed into a grin that’s radiating like sunlight. Louis wants to bask in his glow, but he settles for slipping his palm into Harry’s.

 

‘Is that your way of coming out, then,’ Gemma asks, a twinkle in her eyes.

 

Louis and Harry look at each other and shrug, silently communicating that they might as well.

 

Louis raises their entwined hands up above the table top as if they’ve both been crowned the winner of a boxing match.

 

‘Since when!’ Anne gasps, her eyebrows furrowing as her mind parses back over the past sixteen years to find an indication of Harry and Louis being anything other than platonic.

 

‘I knew it!’ Gemma shrieks, pumping her fist in the air. ‘And you all thought it was me he was going to end up with! How heteronormative of you.’

 

Jay and Anne share shocked looks.

 

‘I can’t believe I didn’t see it, God we’re so stupid.’ Jay smacks her forehead. ‘Sorry, loves.’

 

‘You didn’t know?’ Pheobe pipes up.

 

‘It’s pretty obvious,’ Daisy shrugs. ‘They look at each other like they’re both bunny rabbits.’

 

Her twin nods in affirmation.

 

‘Plus, they’re always whispering together. I thought everyone knew.’

 

‘I can’t believe you didn’t tell us,’ Mark moans. ‘We’ve been dying for a Tomlinson-Styles union for years now.’

 

‘We’re not picky about the combination,’ Jay adds. ‘We just wanted one.’

 

‘Sorry to presume, pets,’ Anne apologises. ‘Gemma and Louis just got on so well since they were babies we all just assumed…’

 

Harry and Louis catch each other’s eye and grin.

 

‘You know what this means, right?’ Gemma grins, a wicked glint in her eye. ‘You’re going to bare the brunt of all the old married couple jokes from now on.’

 

Louis and Harry groan dramatically and hold up their hands in defeat.

 

‘Exactly. So where were you thinking of holding the reception?’ Jay asks, smiling as she tears a dinner roll in half.

 

Louis and Harry groan even louder. Harry hooks his foot around Louis’ ankle again and turns to offer him a grin. Louis returns it, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Everything’s going to be okay. The joke was simply that – a joke. Nothing concrete, nothing significant. But something tells him the new joke will last. 

 

Notes:

hope it was ok :s