Work Text:
[ 1 ]
Hiding behind the corner, Barry peeked at the corridor, rows of lockers stretched down its line. Northvale High students crowded the place, hurrying from class to class or post-school activities, the regular buzzing of their voices made even more joyously unrestrained by Valentine’s Day. Barry glanced at his watch. In a matter of the next minute or so, Iris should be walking from the other part of the school to exchange her French dictionary for Biology textbook. This was the last break of the day for her, one more class and she’ll leave school, hopefully with an invitation to a diner for this evening. Barry bit his lip, giddy and light headed with nervousness over his project and its successful, so far, execution.
Well, even if he didn’t manage to give her the last card, or follow up on what it promised, all the planning was still worth the hassle. Iris had been so down recently and he had made her smile a lot today. That was enough.
His heart sped up as Iris emerged from the other side of the corridor, walking with her friend to their lockers. He hid behind the corner, listening intently. Soon enough came the shocked gasp. Barry risked peeking out, glad that he wore his black ‘Great Scott!’ t-shirt. Black was the best for standard camouflage.
“Another one? What does it say?” Lila asked, looking over Iris’ shoulder. The purple flower-shaped card opened to an inscription, printed and pasted onto the paper. It kind of spoiled the romantic image, but he couldn’t chance Iris recognizing his handwriting.
“Huh… This one says they want to meet tonight.” Iris straightened in interest, biting her lip.
“Aw. This is so cool!” Lila sank against her locker with a pout.
Iris snorted, shutting her locker and leaning on it beside her friend. “You’re seriously jealous of a few badly written poems?”
Barry muffled his offended gasp. He worked hard on those.
Lila shrugged. “Ali just gave me a box of chocolates. No surprise, no romance, nothing.” She straightened up and reached for her bag which had been abandoned on the floor. “You have to go, you know. If not for yourself, do it for the sake of all unromanticized girls like me.”
“Dad wouldn’t let me anyway.” Iris sighed, taking off. “I can already hear him ranting about how this could be some…”
“Barry?”
Startled, Barry only then realized Lila was looking straight at him. Run!, his mind screamed and so, stupidly, he leaped from behind the corner, turning to escape in the direction opposite to the girls, and collided right into someone. He had precisely enough time to think ‘Craig from the football team’ before he bounced off him and flopped on the floor with a pained groan. The other guy barely seemed to notice.
“Barry, what was that?” And there was Iris, smiling brightly from above him, his Valentine’s card still pressed to her chest.
“I… just… forgot something. From my class.” He smiled sheepishly and let her help him to his feet. Unable to help himself, he stared at the card, now a little crumbled in Iris’ hand. Iris followed his gaze and her face changed. “You know what, Barry…” Iris glanced at Lila, who nodded excitedly. “There’s something you may be able to help with.”
*
“Dad? I’m going out!” Iris shouted, already running down the stairs and up to the front door.
“Hold up. Where are you going?” Joe’s head stuck out of the kitchen, before she could reach them. Barry had seen that happening enough times to be convinced that the man had some special instinct when Iris and the outdoors were concerned.
Iris turned around with a sigh. “It’s Valentine’s Day.”
“Yeah.” Barry confirmed, remembering that he was supposed to help her out here. “Everyone is going out somewhere tonight.” He said.
Joe threw him a glare and turned to his daughter. “At 7 pm on a school night? I don’t think so.”
“You would let Barry go.” Iris said, tapping her feet impatiently. “I’m sure he has a date too? Right, Barry?” She was looking at him with wide, expectant eyes and he was going to agree, the words ready on his tongue, but that would mean more questions and… telling her she was his date in a corridor while her dad watched was so not how he envisioned this going.
“Nope, no date.” Barry murmured.
Her eyes turned to pity that she tried to quickly cover with teasing. “Aw, you didn’t snatch any of your hot nerds from that little science club?”
“Not this year, I guess.” He smiled back, feeling the warmth spread over his cheeks.
“And that’s a good thing, not rushing into dating,” Joe chipped in before taking off the apron. “Okay. I will give you a lift. I was going to go to run an errand I forgot about, anyway.”
Iris’ mouth dropped open and she threw him a horrified looked that all but screamed ‘save me, Barry’.
“I’ll do it!” He was speaking to Joe before he knew it. “I’ll do whatever you need.”
“Isn’t that thoughtful.” Iris grinned and came up to give her father a hug. “Lila was going to take me. Please? I’ll be back in two hours, tops.”
Joe agreed, of course because who could resist Iris when she was working her sweet-talking magic. Barry glanced at his wristwatch and swallowed the sudden spike of anxiety. He was going to be able to do what Joe asked of him, come back home, change and go to see Iris. He could still make it. It couldn’t take too much time. Right?
*
Just as he was pulling into the parking lot of the diner, his cell phone lit up with a picture of Iris. He threw Joe’s vehicle into the first empty space he could find, grabbed the phone and pressed it to his ear, getting ready to jump out of the car. A muffled sniff on the other side stopped him in his tracks.
“Barry? Can you come get me?” Her voice was clipped and coarse at the same time, as if she was on the verge of crying.
Barry swallowed hard and cleared his throat. “Yeah, sure. Where are you? What happened?” He asked trying for a casual tone and failing miserably. Iris didn’t seem to notice.
“I’m at the fucking dinner where I was stood up.” Iris snapped and took a calming breath before continuing. “I don’t know. I think it was just a prank or something. I waited for almost an hour, huddling two chairs like an idiot and watching people all around me having good time. God, this is so pathetic.”
“Oh, is this the guy who was sending you cards all day? I’m sure it wasn’t a prank. Maybe he’s just… running late?” Barry bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from talking more and making everything even worse.
“Can you just come here?” Iris sighed, sounding small and tired. Barry’s heart clenched at the realization he was the reason for that.
“Yeah. Hang on. I’m actually still in the city, so I’ll be there in a moment.” He hung up and leaned back in his seat, banging his head against the back of it.
*
Iris slid into the passenger’s seat, pushing some crumbled piece of paper at Barry before shutting the door with enough force to shake the car, then crossing her arms.
“What’s…?” Barry asked, but before the words fully left his mouth he already recognized the thick red paper of the first card he had made. He pulled the edges of deformed heart apart, feeling a dull pang in his chest.
“He actually signed it your secret admirer? How corny is that?”
“I know, right?” Iris snickered, but her face fell soon after it. “God. I should have seen this through.”
“Hey…” Barry dropped the card between their chairs and reached out to pat her arm lightly. “I’m sure it wasn’t a prank, I can’t imagine anyone wanting to do that to you. I bet they were just held up by something or chickened out at the last moment.” He gave her a tight smile. “In any case, that person missed out big time.”
Iris looked at him seriously. “Yeah. They should feel sorry for themselves.”
Oh, she had no idea.
[ 2 ]
After that disastrous Valentine’s Day, it took him over a year to gather up the courage to speak up about his feelings again. To not repeat his previous mistake, he forwent of any special preparations and decided to casually and discretely approach the subject.
“So, prom is coming up, huh?” Barry leaned on the washing machine, watching as Iris was loading it up.
“Uh… yeah?” Iris murmured distractedly.
“You have someone to go with? I mean, I’m not sure if I’m going with anyone yet, so if you don’t…”
Iris blinked at him and then her face split in a sweet smile. “That’s nice of you, but I don’t need a friend-date this year. You know Kayla? The cute girl from the theater club? She asked me out.”
“Oh. Well. I’m sure you’ll have fun.” Barry cleared his throat, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants. “I actually have this thing… I’m working on right now, so… see you later.” He turned on his heels and walked out of the laundry room. His head popped pop right back in a second later. “When exactly was that?”
“Huh?” Iris frowned. “Today after school, actually. She came up to me in the library, like, four hours ago. Why?”
“Of course she did.” Barry closed his eyes with and earth-shattering sigh and withdrew from the room, ignoring her confused stare.
[ 3 ]
“While I was away, I had a chance to think about, you know, relationships…”
Iris pried away her eyes from the group of protestors and their signs with loud slogans. People were shuffling around the main entrance of S.T.A.R. Labs for several days now, but tonight the groups were nearly blocking the street. There was tension in the air that had little to do with the oncoming storm. She admired these people’s determination to protest despite the quickening rain. She knew she would have a chance to hide inside the building in a few moments but the weather was still getting on her last nerve.
“I’m not in one… you’re not in one either…” Barry was prattling on. She looked up at him and their eyes met for a second, before he turned around, nearly bumping her head with the stick of his umbrella.
Iris smiled fondly to herself, having anticipated that conversation. She truly wished for Barry to find someone who would adore him as much as she did. She found his hand on the umbrella’s handle and gave it a little squeeze that made Barry twitch and look at her funny. She snorted, letting go of him. “You know, it shouldn’t be awkward for you to talk with me about girls.” The queue to the entrance moved suddenly and so they stepped forward, stopping short of the main door as the guards were counting people and letting them walk through metal detectors.
“That’s cool, okay, yeah.” Barry cleared his throat to stop himself from babbling. “Because I was going to talk to you about something.” He looked at her, all serious until her own smile dropped. This wasn’t Barry’s regular twitchy-skittish nervousness he showed whenever around strangers, he was honestly nervous about something. “It’s… sort of…,” he stumbled and Iris was already opening her mouth to reassure him when another voice broke through the crowd.
“The building has its limits. We’re not able to let any more of you in, but you’re invited to watch through screens on the square by the front side of the building.” The guard explained to a guy standing before them. What the hell? Iris turned to Barry with the question written on her face.
Barry frowned deeply and, leaving Iris soaking in the rain, pushed through the last two disgruntled pairs, who weren’t allowed inside just like them.
“Excuse me, how can you close up already? The opening hours started at half past seven!”
The guard cocked his head. “Half past five, young man. You’re invited to watch through screens…”
“Yeah, okay, I heard.”
Iris closed her eyes to stop herself from rolling them. She felt Barry step back to her side and already could imagine his sheepish smile so she counted to three before opening her eyes and looking at him again.
“I think I wrote it down wrong,” he said. Sheepishly.
“You think.” She was supposed to study today and instead came to see the particle accelerator even though she still wasn’t sure what the damn thing really was and oh god she had so much work to do and she specifically asked him earlier to check the time and… “…God, what is it with you and never being on time?”
“I’m sorry…” Barry bit his lip.
Iris sighed and shook her head, wiping the rain off her face. “It’s alright.”
“So, let’s just move to the square and…” He noticed her deadly stare. “Or we could just head back home and I’ll watch it on tv.”
“That’s more like it,” she said.
She had no idea what kind of people Barry was actually into, but one thing was sure. His future Significant Other would have to have a hell of a lot of patience to spare.
[ 4 ]
He took her hand and pressed it against his sternum. “Still beating,” he reassured, his face hurting from smiling so much.
“Feels really fast,” Iris smiled in return, still a little timid, still not believing he was awake.
Barry kept himself from saying that’s because you’re here or something equally cheesy. Iris’ hand slid from beneath his and she looked around, a little startled to notice people going their ways all around them.
Barry chuckled nervously, shoving his fists into the pockets of his jacket. “So… Nine months, huh? Did I miss a lot?” He shrugged with one shoulder.
“Not really.” Iris pulled him to a nearby table and they sat down to avoid bothering the rest of the customers. “I mean… seeing you in coma and not knowing whether you’ll wake up… that kind of arrested my life, you know.” She tried for a light tone but there was no mistaking the way her voice cracked at the end.
Barry winced. Between the excited babbling of S.T.A.R. Labs assistants and Well’s insistence on coming back for future research, he never really took a moment to consider how his coma looked from the Wests’ perspective. How they must have visited him; saw him tied to life by tubes and cords, saw him dying, Iris said. “I’m so sorry,” he choked out, his hand already shooting across the table without a conscious thought, searching for hers. She met him in the middle, fingers interlacing with his and holding on tight, as if she had to make sure he was really there.
“What are you even sorry for?” She snorted, wiping off a stray tear with the back of her other hand. “Getting hit by lightning? You didn’t plan that, did you?”
“No.” Barry shook his head. “But it’s slowly dawning on me, the awareness of what really happened. I remember the accident like it was hours ago, even though I actually lost almost a year. Nine months of my life just passed me by. I mean, what happened? Is Captain America 3 out already?”
Iris laughed. Barry didn’t know how could he so acutely miss her laugh if he remembered hearing it what felt like yesterday, but he did anyway. “No idea, actually,” she said. “You were the one who kept track of that stuff. We’ll have to check.”
“That’s a date,” he said before he could stop himself. Iris’ eyebrows raised imperceptibly.
“Um…” Barry cleared his throat and withdrew his hand out of her hold to put it in his lap instead. He tweaked his thumbs nervously. “There’s something that I need to tell you, that I wanted to tell you for a long time.”
Iris straightened in her seat. “Oh? Okay?”
“A-and I just want to say, I’m not telling that because I want any answer from you, at least not now, you actually don’t have to say a thing, to be honest,” Barry fidgeted in his seat, throat growing dry as he closed on the topic. “I just need this out, because I don’t want to keep that from you, deceive you…”
“Barry.”
His head snapped up to see a mildly concerned Iris staring back at him.
“Just say it,” she prompted.
“I almost died,” Barry blurted and cringed as Iris cocked her head pensively. “I mean, I could have. I lost so much time. I don’t want to miss more of it. I don’t want to die not knowing if I ever had the chance…”
“But you said you’re alright now, right?” Iris interrupted, brows furrowed in confusion and worry. “Why are you talking about this, what’s going on?”
Barry swallowed, gazing back at her silently. Every time he tried to reveal his feelings, the guilt over having them and fear of rejection were suffocating the words out of him. But now, he had to do it. “I… really like you, Iris.”
“I like you too, silly.” She rolled her eyes.
“As a friend,” Barry added. “A brother, maybe,” he added, watching as Iris drew into herself, watching him closely, arms crossed over her chest. Barry heaved a sigh, that was as much of a confirmation of her feelings as he needed. But he still wanted to come clean about his own. He focused on the table between them, unable to meet her eyes. The wood patterns on the surface suddenly appeared fascinating, he started tracing them with his finger. “You are my best friend too… but also… I…” think you’re beautiful, love being with you, can’t fathom ever going without you in my life, “… care about you in a different way.” He forced out, eyes still fixed downwards.
The seconds dripped between them like syrup, slow and sickening. Barry could feel them settling at the pit of his stomach.
“I have a boyfriend.” He heard her say quietly, apologetically, and looked up to meet Iris’ eyes, wide with surprise.
Barry blinked. “You said… nothing really changed…”
Iris broke the eye contact, shifting in her seat. “Because it just sort of happened. He was there for me when you were in the hospital…”
“It’s fine. Nevermind,” he said, interrupting her mid-sentence, and jumped out of his seat.
She called after him.
He ran.
[ 5 ]
The first three weeks of Barry’s coma were the hardest on her. It was a neverending stream of sick worry that Barry would die one moment and naive hope he’d wake up next second. As the time had passed, the latter had become less and less likely. The days by his side turned into weeks into months into quarters. She read him books and newspapers, she talked to him about their mutual friends, she recounted her graduation and she watched him sleep through it all; peacefully, obliviously, passive to her sorrow. She watched his heart stop and start anew, as often as most people watch their loved ones catching a cold.
She had had plenty of time to think about Barry and her convoluted feelings for him. She felt silly for never using that time, because it seemed she had now ran out of it.
Barry was back, but different. Sure, everyone would be changed by an event as traumatic as what he went through, but that wasn’t the case. Barry, himself, did not change. His attitude toward her did.
He was lying to her. She didn’t know what about, other than it must be important, but she knew he was. She could tell. Barry was never very good at lying or even stretching the truth, so to lie to her successfully, he started avoiding contact with her altogether. With every passing week it seemed like the distance between them grew wider.
Of course, part of it was probably that he was dying of embarrassment after confessing his love to her and being shut down.
Iris groaned in frustration and dropped her pen on the book she was trying to read. She had been was staring at the same page for the last ten minutes and the words were still stubbornly not making any sense, because her mind was too far away from her apartment.
With Barry.
Who said he loved her. And all she said in response was that she had a boyfriend. It didn’t occur to her at the time how messed up that was. She was supposed to say that she doesn’t feel the same way, she never will, they can’t be together. ‘I have a boyfriend’ sounded like a temporary excuse. It left open a possibility that she wasn’t comfortable with. And the most bizarre, impossible thing was that she knew if asked again, she would respond the same way. It was ridiculous, really, because even though she liked Barry, she couldn’t see him as a… lover. She could never imagine them going out as a normal couple; there was too much history, they knew each other their whole lives, love’s not supposed to be… that simple. Isn’t it?
One thing she was certain of, it wasn’t fair to use Ed as a shield for her feelings about Barry. She had to break them off. Then… she had to leave. At least for a while, to cleanse her head and decide what she really wanted.
With a new plan forming before her eyes, Iris took to work.
*
“She said she told you…” Joe spread his arms helplessly.
“She didn’t.” Barry said, numb.
“It’s just a few, maybe three, months.” He could tell Joe was trying to be supporting, but his words only made Barry recoil. Months. He wasn’t going to see Iris for at least three months. Not that they had a chance to hang out often since the Flash was born. And since… god, what if he was the reason? He must have freaked her out.
“I don’t know what’s going on between you two…,”Joe broke into his thoughts, dropping the file case on his desk. “…but I’m sorry it turned out like this. I had no idea she…”
“When?” Barry asked, urgent. He couldn’t let her go without at least a goodbye. Or an answer if he could visit her or if it was him she was running away from. “When is she leaving?”
“Uhh…” Joe looked at his wristwatch with gut-churning inconsideration for the precious passing seconds. “I think around this time.” He looked up. “You won’t catch her.”
*
He ran through the blurred streets until he reached the train station, barely managing to not crash into any buildings and passersby. He leapt through the front door and made an effort to slow down. He jogged onto the platform, some small part of his brain that wasn’t busy screaming FIND HER FIND HER reminded him he ought to act normal.
But the train to Starling City was gone already.
He was the fastest man alive and he was late. As always.
[ 6 ]
Iris cursed under her breath and headed back toward the main hall of the station, hauling her briefcase behind herself. She had to find the ticket box again and pray the queue wouldn’t be too long.
A glance at the bench she was was passing stopped her in her tracks. On it sat Barry, his head hanging low on his chest, elbows resting on knees. Even with his face hidden, Iris recognized him. She could recognize him anywhere.
“Hey…” She spoke softly. “What are you doing here?”
Barry’s head snapped up so fast she momentarily feared for his neck. “Iris?!” He jolted up and breathed out a sigh of relief. “You didn’t go?”
“I…” Iris pressed her lips together, embarrassed to admit the truth. And to Barry Allen of all people. “I was late. I missed my train.”
The corners of his mouth twitched in a timid smile she knew all too well, then he sucked the bottom lip into his mouth to nibble at it. She felt her face heat up and forced herself to look up, stepping close without even realizing it. His eyes were red and shining, and as familiar as the rest of him.
“I missed you.” Barry said and the words hung in the rift between their bodies until she leaped and pressed her lips to his, the force throwing her into him. Barry’s arms wrapped around her the way they always did, holding tightly and not letting go. He felt exactly as she remembered and she wanted to scream at herself for not recognizing sooner how much she wanted this familiarity. The calm certainty of being with someone who knew her completely and loved every part.
It wasn’t perhaps the best place for doing this. She was aware of people hurrying around them, and the air was heavy with pollution and even without opening her eyes she could see the looks they were getting. She rose on her toes to press harder into Barry and let the surroundings fade away. Her hands slid up to his neck, fingernails digging involuntarily into the skin at the nape of his hair. Barry moaned in response, trembling against her. He smoothed his palms down her back just to jerk them up and settle on her shoulder blades. Iris’ mind flashed to their awkward dance at prom, Barry not knowing where to put his hands and stomping on her toes. She grinned into the kiss, breaking it with a soft smack and stepping down on her heels. Barry leaned in after her and nuzzled his nose against Iris’ cheek, capturing her bottom lip between his to suck on it until her breath hitched.
Then all sensation was gone. Iris froze in place, her heart beating so fast she was sure Barry could hear it, so fast it was making her dizzy. Barry’s forehead rested against hers and they stood close, breathing the hot air between them. This was the moment to open her eyes, but she squeezed them even tighter, hanging on to the moment. To open them was to acknowledge that she had just impulsively kissed her kind-of-but-not-really stepbrother after deciding to leave the city specifically because of him. This day was supposed to make things less complicated, not even more. She didn’t know what to say for herself, only that kissing Barry felt right, but the idea of being with him was still too alien to process.
A hand reached her cheek, knuckles stroking skin with a feather-light touch. “I don’t know why I did that,” she admitted, eyes still stubbornly shut.
“I have special powers,” Barry said at nearly the same moment.
Iris’ eyes snapped open. Wow. Quite the ego. She quirked an eyebrow. “We were having a moment, Barry.”
“Yes.” Barry breathed out a happy sigh, before noticing her expression. “No, I mean I thought about what it can mean and… I need to tell you something first.” He laughed nervously. Iris’ eyebrows rose even higher. “I’m literally… uh…” He stomped from feet to feet, hands sliding off her body to flatten against his sides. She accepted the loss with disappointment and let them separate.
“That sounded better in my head,” he said looking at his shoes.
“Mark me shocked.” Iris smiled. She pursed her lips, thinking back to Barry’s first words until it hit her. The few times he seemed to appear out of nowhere or evaporate without a sign. She didn’t give it much thought then, but now… “You can teleport.” It would be hardly the weirdest thing that was happening in Central recently.
“No!” Barry shook his head with a self-conscious smile. “It’s more like… moving really fast.”
So that was what he had been hiding. “You’re the Red Streak…?” Iris couldn’t hold in the laughter even if she tried. Barry joined her in.
“It started after I woke up,” he said once they had calmed down. He looked at her seriously. “It can be dangerous. And it’s going to be dangerous for you too, Iris, if… I mean, you should know what are you getting into.”
“I didn’t say I’m getting into anything yet,” she pointed out. Barry opened his mouth and shut it before licking his lips. Iris sighed and rested her hand on his arm, giving it a comforting squeeze. “So… you really did find the impossible, huh?” She asked tentatively and watched his face lighten up the way it always did when they talked about it. “What is it like, fleet feet? You can just… dash around whenever you want?”
“Speed is the basis of it all, but I’m still discovering so many cool tricks. Like… I can vibrate!” Barry said, eyebrows wagging excitedly. He held up his right hand, three fingers standing as if he was going to take an oath and… Iris stared unblinking as the digits started oscillating with a recognizable buzz.
“Jesus Christ, Barry,” she hissed, tugging his arm down. “There are children here.”
“Wha… Oh.” She could tell the realization was dawning on him with every new splotch of color on his cheeks. Iris had seen him blushing before, obviously, but now Barry was positively red-faced. “I… no. Not… how I…,” Barry stummered.
“No…?” She said in undertone. Okay, so, maybe the idea of being with Barry didn’t seem so farfetched all of a sudden. In fact, it began to make itself very comfortable in her mind.
He must have noticed the disappointed look on her face. “…Wow…” he murmured, eyes a little glazed over.
“Do you need to sit for a moment to take this all in?” She teased even though she felt a little wobbly herself.
“I think so, yeah.” With a grin, he dropped back on the bench, stretching his right arm out and waiting for her to settle by his side.
And she did. They fit perfectly against each other.