Chapter Text
Kim Taehyung would not admit that he was jealous. Absolutely not. He would instead sit here seething with envy, staring intently at Jeon while he sipped his coffee in the student center.
Jeon Jungkook was a freshman who had Taehyung completely enamored. He was good. He was definitely here because he deserved to be, but at Juilliard, you had to be better than good. You had to stand out, and Jungkook's charisma made him stand out like the star on top of a fucking Christmas tree.
The dance majors weren't known for being nice; they were known for being cut-throat. But Jungkook didn't play by their rules. He was friendly to everyone, flirted with everyone, and it irritated Taehyung.
"Just ignore him," Jimin said as he sat down with his cappuccino.
"What?" Taehyung asked.
"You're staring at Jungkook again. Don't be mad."
"What? That he got the lead in Belcourt's performance? A month into his freshman year? Oh but I'm not mad at all Jimin," Taehyung shrugged.
"Oh really?" Jimin sipped his coffee.
Taehyung was supposed to be the lead. No one ever said anything, but he had been Belcourt's favorite last year. This part was going to be his before Jungkook showed up.
"Really," he smirked. "He is barely trained. He's going to make a fool out of himself. The entire spectacle is going to be laughable. I'm just mad that I have to be swaying in the background. Maybe I'll leave it off my resume if it's really horrible."
Jimin sighed. "Does that mean you're skipping his class today?"
"What do I need to go for? I'm background. I can do those dances in my sleep. Want to go shopping?"
Jimin shook his head. "Some of us need practice. Try not to stare at him so openly. It makes people think you're plotting to kill him."
Taehyung laughed as Jimin left for class.
=========
He was staring again. Jungkook saw him out of the corner of his eye.
He'd been told many things about Kim Taehyung, the most important being to stay away. He was an amazing dancer. He was likely to end up at a top company. However, he didn't have to put in effort. He didn't go to class. He ate things he shouldn't. He danced in clubs, places the serious dancers would not go. He did the bare minimum to stay in school because Taehyung knew he was good enough to get an amazing gig after school.
It made others hate him. He was the dance school version of a bad boy, which Jungkook found rather funny because, quite frankly, the boy looked like he'd stepped out of Vogue.
Everyone here was very intense. He honestly wasn't sure why Taehyung was staring at him all the time. He had never even talked to him. Taehyung always stayed as far away as possible in the few classes they had together. Jungkook wondered if Taehyung hated him.
And there was only one way to find out.
=============
One day Jungkook approached Taehyung's table with a big smile. "Hey," he said.
Taehyung looked up, eyes wide. "Hi," he said flatly.
"I don't feel like we've officially met."
"There are less than 150 students in each graduating class here. You know everyone."
"Yeah, but not officially. I'm Jungkook," Jungkook held his hand out.
"Taehyung." Taehyung accepted the handshake, but his frown remained.
"So I've noticed you staring at me," Jungkook said as he sat down across from Taehyung.
"I haven't been staring."
"Yes, you have. People have told me to be afraid of you."
"Are you?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow.
"No, I'm not scared of guys who have tattoos of flowers on their arms."
"Maybe you should be."
"Oh, is this the brooding bad boy thing I hear so much about? Does that come with the blue hair and the piercings and the tattoos?" Jungkook smiled. "There is a lot of gossip about you, Taehyung."
"You're far too friendly for a freshman. You shouldn't talk to so many people."
"I find that being friendly makes people like you, and having people like you makes life easier."
"It won't here. They'll use it against you," Taehyung warned.
"Let's get back to the staring," Jungkook said.
"Which has not happened."
"I figure if we're friends, I can be looking at you and you can be looking at me, and it won't be at all creepy because we're friends."
"You want to be friends with everyone, don't you?"
"It really does make life easier. Our friendship would entitle you to copying my notes from Friday's 15th century Russian ballet lecture," Jungkook grinned.
"That's cute that you think I care about the notes."
"You don't care about grades?"
"Nope. Good companies care about talent, not meaningless numbers that make up my GPA."
"So why aren't you in class right now?"
"Belcourt's class? Do you know my schedule?"
"I know everyone in ensemble is in that class, and you're in ensemble."
Taehyung rolled his eyes. "It's a stupid class. The moves are elementary."
"Not for everyone. You really don't even want to practice?"
"The performance is before Christmas. It's not even Halloween. I have at least a month before I should even bother because Belcourt will be making changes as he sees fit."
Taehyung twirled the wooden stirrer around his cup with boredom. "I'll come in for the last of the changes and I'll be better than the rest of them because I'm not set in a specific routine yet. Then he'll put me in a featured role because I can adapt so easily."
"You could fail if you do that."
"As long as I attend all the tests, he doesn't count attendance against students. You're far too concerned with my life, Jungkook."
"We're friends. We're supposed to care about each other's lives."
"Oh, am I supposed to be interested in your life right now?"
Jungkook smiled again. "I don't think you're that self-absorbed."
"You'd be wrong."
"Nah, I know self-absorbed people. I'm related to many, actually. They don't realize what they're doing because they're only thinking about themselves. You, Kim Taehyung, know exactly what you're doing. Why don't you want to be friends with me?"
"Because you're the little shit who took my part."
Jungkook's face fell. "I won the part."
"Belcourt likes you. You have charisma and an ass that's perky enough to distract audiences."
"Oh Taehyung, don't worry, your ass is very attractive in tights."
Taehyung smirked. "I know. That's why I was his favorite last year. It's not your talent, Jungkook. You can't pick up moves fast enough and you're not graceful enough. Belcourt is a perv and that's the only reason your name will be in lights come December. When I get a part, it'll just be because I'm flawless." Taehyung stood up.
"Enjoy your coffee." He turned on his heel and left.
===========
Jungkook hated Taehyung. He was a bastard.
"He told me that I only got the part because Belcourt likes me!" Jungkook said.
Jennie, a sophomore who lived across the hall from Jungkook, sat on his bed while he vented. "Well, he definitely took a liking to you in the summer program," she said.
"He's married to a woman for Christ's sake! And I worked hard on that audition piece. I nailed it. I earned that part."
"You did do really well at the audition. It's just Kim Taehyung. He's an ass," Jennie said.
"You don't think Belcourt is a pervert do you?"
"All men are perverts. Some are just better at restraining it than others," she shrugged.
Jungkook didn't respond. Taehyung was just trying to get under his skin.
Right?
=========
"Heard you bitched out Jungkook," Jimin said as he entered their apartment.
"He was trying to be friends with me," Taehyung said as he made a disgusted face.
"Tae, first of all, you find him attractive."
"I go to school where men regularly walk around in tights without shirts. I find a lot of people attractive. A pretty face and a great butt does not mean anything to me."
"You don't have to hate every person who is nice to you at Juilliard."
"Oh, right, because Juilliard is full of trustworthy people who love and support each other," Taehyung said disdainfully.
"He's from Korea too."
"What? Am I supposed to feel a home connection to him?"
Jimin sighed. "He's not New York or Boston or London. He's from Busan. He isn't trying to undermine you or steal your spotlight—"
"Because he already did."
"He's a genuinely nice guy. Don't give him the New York treatment. Everyone else will crush him soon enough."
"You think so?" Taehyung asked, trying to sound hopeful.
"Please, you think everyone thought you would get that part? Every upperclassman wants a shot at that part and a freshman took it. He's about to be slaughtered."
Taehyung wasn't so sure. Jungkook was like a puppy. No wait, more like a bunny. He ran up to people with his cute face and big doe eyes and soon enough they're feeding him scraps off their plate.
"I don't know. He seems to be charming his way into everyone's hearts."
"If you attended class, you'd know that's the opposite of true."
"Really?" he asked. They wanted to slaughter a bunny?
Jimin turned to look at him and saw the concern on his face. "Oh my god."
"What?"
"Do you like him? Did Jeon Jungkook's charms work on the icy Kim Taehyung?"
"Go take your meds, Jimin. I do not like Jeon Jungkook at all. End of conversation."
"Do you think that will really end the conversation?" Jimin asked.
"No, but the fact that you're going to be late to your Skype date with Yoongi will definitely end it."
"Oh!" Jimin ran to his laptop.
Taehyung rolled his eyes. He did not like Jeon Jungkook. He found him attractive and charming, but he did not like him. He did wonder, though, if Jungkook really would encounter all the meanness Taehyung ran into first semester. Dancing is ridiculously competitive. There are only so many jobs with real companies available and so many theme park jobs opens. It made people a little crazy.
The idea was that being cruel weeds out the weak ones. Juilliard students discover quickly who they don't have to worry about. Taehyung quickly realized that this was not Daegu; you don't take anything lying down. Taehyung remembered putting Nair on a girl's eyebrows after she put canola oil on the bottom of his pointe shoes. He got kicked out of the dorms after that, but the look on her face when she realized she didn't have eyebrows was worth it. If someone tries to hurt you or get you in trouble, you get even. That's how they know that yes, they do have to watch out for you. Taehyung wondered if Jungkook would figure that out.
===========
Taehyung liked records. They reminded him of his mother and her old Beatles' albums. Vinyl is one of the few things outside of fashion that Taehyung splurges on. Luckily, record stores aren't hard to find in Brooklyn.
The one he was in currently was his favorite. It was a wide selection of used records, and there weren't too many hipsters there purely to take Instagram photos.
He looked up to see Jeon Jungkook walk in. He looked back down. Maybe they could pretend they don't notice each other. If Jungkook noticed him, he didn't say anything. Taehyung snuck glances occasionally. Jungkook seemed to be into older R&B and Motown.
Taehyung kept his eyes on the rock music of the 60s and 70s, though. They met somewhere around Jefferson Airplane. Jungkook didn't say anything.
"Hey," Taehyung said.
"Careful, a greeting might be seen as friendly," Jungkook said without making eye contact.
Taehyung stayed silent. He wanted so badly to go back to looking at records. He should have been able to ignore Jungkook. He could ignore tons of people. He did it all the time. Wasn't that how he got through four years of high school?
Jungkook wasn't a jock calling him a weirdo, though.
"Look," Taehyung sighed. "People are going to be mean to you. You're talented, and you got really lucky with the Belcourt performance. You're a target. Build a shield."
"Oh, is that how you sleep at night? You tell yourself that it's okay you're a dick because everyone else is?"
"No, I'm a dick because I don't care about the people at Juilliard."
"How well is that going for you?"
"Jungkook, there are other people who aren't going to be as upfront as I am about how much they don't want you to succeed. I honestly hope you break a limb so I can be called in to take your place. The others won't tell you that. They'll tell you what you want to hear until they find your weakness and use it against you."
"Has it occurred to you that people were mean to you because you're an asshole?" Jungkook spat.
"Keep growing that backbone. You'll need it." Taehyung went back to his browsing.
Jungkook didn't know what to make of Taehyung 's words. He was trying to remember if he liked Bad guy or Bury a Friend more. He definitely liked one of them a lot more, but he couldn't focus. Was he trying to make Jungkook paranoid? Or was he actually giving him a warning?
It took fifteen minutes before he went over to Taehyung. "Okay, why would you give me that warning? Doesn't that defeat the entire purpose of the weird cruelty cycle?" Jungkook asked.
Taehyung sighed. "I don't know. You're from Korea."
"Yeah, so?"
"So me and Jimin are from Korea. We didn't get it either. Jimin had eyebrows shaved off freshman year when he got a featured role in Jung Hoseok spring performance."
"And what about you?"
"There was a guy who—he just—let's just say he hurt me, okay?"
For the briefest moment, Jungkook saw the pain in Taehyung's eyes. The moment passed quickly, and Taehyung's glazed over, expressionless eyes returned.
Jungkook nodded. "Okay…you should go for the Temptations records they have, if you're over here."
Jungkook couldn't tell, but it almost looked like Taehyung was grateful for the change in conversation. "I've never really listened to a lot of Motown. I could never get into Marvin Gaye or Jackson 5 or anything. My dad really likes Otis Redding, and I kind of have no idea what that's considered."
"Soul," Jungkook smiled. "You want soul. Sam Cooke is really amazing. It's, well, I like it because I don't immediately want to choreograph it. It just makes me want to sing."
"Maybe I'll try it."
"What do you usually listen to?" Jungkook asked.
Jungkook knew that he should've left him alone, but part of him wanted to make Taehyung feel better. He knew it was stupid, but he really didn't want to see that pain in Taehyung's eyes. So they kept talking, and Taehyung didn't push him away. Jungkook wouldn't have been surprised if he did, but they just kept talking about music.
Taehyung just got music the way Jungkook did. He liked how it made him feel. He knew other dancers found their solitude in the way they moved, and that had never been the case for Jungkook. The choreography was always secondary to the music for him.
They talk until the shop closes.
"It was, um, well, it was actually nice to talk to you, Taehyung."
Taehyung smiled at him. "Don't tell anyone I'm human…or about my weakness for classic rock. Goodnight, Jungkook."
========
Jungkook hadn't spoken to Taehyung since their music shop run in. Taehyungsupposed they had made their peace. He watched Jungkook from afar, and Taehyung wondered if being that genuinely nice and funny really did thaw the cold, dead hearts of the Juilliard dancers.
Jungkook was surrounded by people all the time. Taehyung could literally never get him alone for a second. He did start to hear about Jungkook in classes though.
Taehyung was in Belcourt's class as a courtesy. He had to at least pass. Jennie came in and announced, "He's gay, kids! Let that settle your bets."
"What?" Taehyung asked Jimin.
"Jungkook," Jimin answered.
Taehyung saw people around him high fiving and exchanging money. "You all bet on Jungkook's sexuality?" Taehyung asked.
"Necessary information," Barry said.
Taehyung felt anger boil within him. Some cute upperclassmen would be sent to seduce him and somehow figure out how to make him fail. They could play on his weaknesses or, if he was in love, just play with his emotions.
"It would be such a shame for you all to have to beat someone out with your talent instead of your deception," Taehyung said.
"You should be lining up for this, Taehyung. Everyone thought that you were the big competition for the lead," Barry said.
"We'll see if he even lasts through Halloween. The pressure of being a freshman is hard enough without a lead role on his shoulders. He might crack on his own."
Professor Belcourt came in, ceasing all conversation. "Thanks for gracing us with your presence, Taehyung," Belcourt said.
"Always a displeasure," Taehyung smirked as the class began.
==========
Jungkook was having a weird week. Everyone had started hitting on him, and he wasn't sure why. He wasn't interested in anyone. Quite honestly, all the guys who had hit on him had come off as cold to him before now.
He knocked on Jennie's door and poked his head inside the propped open door. "Come on in!" she said.
"You're not going to believe how many guys have hit on me this week," Jungkook said.
Jennie's eyes widened. "How many?"
"Seventeen. Seventeen! I mean, the entire ensemble, except Taehyung, plus a few guys I don't even know. It's so weird."
"Well, you said at the party last weekend that you're gay. I guess they took that as an invitation," Jennieshrugged. "So how many dates do you have this weekend?"
"None. I don't know. None of them felt right to me. It was all so odd. Some of those guys had never talked to me before. Some of them had been rude to me before."
"Well, they didn't know you back then," Jennie reasoned.
"They still don't. Taehyung said something to me that just—he kind of warned me that guys would try to use me."
"You're taking warnings from Kim Taehyung?"
"You weren't there, Jennie. He seemed serious."
"Jungkook, look at Kim Taehyung's life choices. He has permanently marked his body with tattoos that will forever hinder his career. He goes to clubs and associates with the vermin who dance there. He has blue hair. His GPA barely keeps him here. Taehyung is the last person you should listen to."
Jungkook sighed as he flopped down on her bed. "You're probably right."
"So you should just give one of those guys a call and say you changed your mind. Every star needs arm candy," Jennie smiled.
Jungkook didn't call any of the guys that night. Part of him really believed Taehyung more than anyone else, but why should he believe the guy who breaks every rule and no one likes? Something told him to stick with his gut, though.
=======
Taehyung hadn't stopped listening to Sam Cooke in a good three weeks. It was a problem. He loved the music, and he really wanted to talk to Jungkook about it.
Shit.
He liked Jungkook.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Taehyung sighed as he lay on his bed. He liked Jungkook, a lot. He didn't even know why. He was just so fucking adorable and open and pleasant and, well, he was everything Taehyung was afraid of being. He was so genuine with people. Taehyung wanted to slaughter the people who wanted to tear Jungkook down. He wanted to shield him from it.
Taehyung stole Jimin's phone to get Jungkook's number (oh god, he really liked him). He texted Jungkook.
To Jungkook:
Hey. It's Taehyung.
To Taehyung:
Hi!
To Taehyung:
How is the soul music going?
To Jungkook:
It was just what I needed.
To Taehyung:
Yeah, I know the feeling.
To Jungkook:
So I haven't been able to talk to you on campus much…
To Taehyung:
I've kind of been locking myself in the studio practicing.
To Jungkook:
Well, I'll be at the music shop again on Saturday afternoon. If you were to stop by, I could use help with my foray into soul and motown.
To Taehyung:
You really want my help? Just my help?
To Jungkook:
I liked talking to you and I'd like to talk to you again.
To Taehyung
Why not at school?
Taehyung's breath caught in his throat. He didn't want to see Jungkook at school. Too many people would talk, and it wasn't as if Taehyung really cared what people said about him. They would talk about Jungkook, though. They would tell him to stay away.
To Jungkook:
Because then it becomes about dance and other people and their opinions. I just want to hang out with you. I'm not asking for anything more.
To Taehyung:
I'll see you Saturday.
========
Jungkook wandered into the record store not knowing what he was doing. He was hanging out with Taehyung, who everyone told him he should avoid. Yet, for some reason, Jungkook wanted to know Taehyung. He wanted to talk to him and hang out with him. He wasn't sure if it was real or if he just liked the mystery around Taehyung. He figured the best way to find out was to start unwrapping the mystery.
"Hey," Jungkook said.
"Hi," Taehyung smiled wide.
"How are you?"
"I'm good. You?"
"Good. What are you looking at there?"
"Sly and the Family Stone." And just like that, they slipped into conversation. It was easy, and Jungkook wondered if that was just because it was music. He didn't change the subject for a while, though, because Taehyung used music to tell stories. He told Jungkook which his father used to play while they learned to cook while his mother was away for work. He told him what albums he used to listen to in high school when he dealt with bullies. He never went into detail about the events. He just talked about the music and how it made him feel, how it helped him.
"Why aren't you studying music?" Jungkook asked after a while.
"What?"
"You love it. You're really passionate about it. Why aren't you studying music?"
Taehyung sighed. "I'm really good at dancing."
"So? I'm really good at filming. Doesn't mean I'm going to do anything with it."
"Maybe filming would lead to a much more reliable career path."
"And the risks are the same in music and dance. So why?"
Taehyung looked down. "It's, you know, it's not something I'm ready to talk about with you yet."
Jungkook wondered if honesty was a kink because Taehyung being so blunt and honest was bizarrely attractive. Wouldn't most guys change the subject or give some half-truth?
"Alright, I respect that," Jungkook said. "Can I try another personal question, though?"
Taehyung gave a little laugh. "I guess. No answers guaranteed."
"You said that a guy used you when you were a freshman? A lot of, um, well. There have been a few guys a-and—"
"People found out you're gay and now they're all clawing at you like a piece of fresh meat in a bear cage," Taehyung said.
"Well, yeah. How did you know that the guy wasn't genuinely interested in you?"
"I didn't. Not until after he got what he wanted."
"Can I ask what happened?"
Taehyung looked back down at the records. "A lot. I guess I should've noticed a lot of things happening. He always made himself seem better than me and made it seem like I should be grateful that he would be with me." Taehyung sighed. "I was stupid enough to believe that he was right because I was the only out gay kid in my high school. I never had a guy interested in me before, so I basically worshipped the ground he walked on. He got cast as my understudy in Professor Belcourt's fall performance last year."
"Did he sabotage you?" Jungkook's eyes widened.
Taehyung scoffed. "That would've been so much less embarrassing. No, he convinced me to back out of the part. He put ideas about stage fright in my head and just played all these mind games with me. He convinced me that I would freeze up and that I should just drop out to save myself the embarrassment."
"And you did?"
"Yup. I thought he knew better than I did because what did I know about being a professional dancer? He just wanted the part. The night of the performance he told me that we shouldn't see each other anymore. I was too immature for him. As I watched him receive his applause, I realized that's all it was for. He never wanted me."
"Taehyung." Jungkook put a hand on Taehyung's shoulder.
"Jungkook, when I say don't trust anyone, I mean it. They're vicious."
"I trust you," Jungkook said quietly.
"You want to know something really weird?" Taehyung asked.
"What?"
"I think I trust you too."
=========
It was early November, and Jungkook did not expect himself to have friendship with Kim Taehyung at this point. They hung out every weekend. They even started sitting next to each other when Taehyung went to his Ballet History 102 class.
No one really noticed though. They didn't hang out on campus. They usually met somewhere in Brooklyn to hang out. They moved from the record store to small cafes and movie theaters. They never mentioned it to anyone else. They didn't even mention it to each other either.
"Hey Tae?" Jungkook asked while they were in a thrift shop.
"Yeah?" Taehyung asked while he looked through a box of bandanas.
"Does Jimin know we hang out?"
Jungkook saw an array of emotions cross over Taehyung's face, but he couldn't pinpoint one. "No," Taehyung said.
"It's okay. I don't tell anyone either."
"I just, I don't know. It's stupid, but I worry about what other people might say."
"Yeah, I'm not exactly in a motorcycle gang," Jungkook said as he picked up a leather jacket.
"No, not about me, Jungkook. I don't care what they say about me. I'm worried what they'd say about you. I don't want our friendship to affect the way other people see you."
Jungkook gave a small smile.
"What?" Taehyung asked.
"You just always surprise me," Jungkook said. "You should let more people see that you've got a big heart."
"I told you, a big heart gets you in trouble at that school. I'd rather just show it to the people I like."
"You like me?"
"Maybe a little. I also like that leather jacket on you. You're getting it," Taehyung said as he tossed it into their basket.
"I like you a little too." Jungkook put his hands on Taehyung's hips. "Out of all of my friends with septum piercings, tattoos and a blue streak in their hair, you're definitely my favorite."
Taehyung rolled his eyes, but he didn't move away from Jungkook. He just picked up another jacket to try on him. "I wonder how you'd do with needles."
"I got my ear pierced when I was 12. I cried," Jungkook said.
Taehyung laughed. "Well I'd be there to hold your hand, obviously."
"I thought you weren't a bad influence on me."
"Oh, I never said that. I just said I didn't want everyone else to say that I was a bad influence on you," Taehyung smiled.
Jungkook was pretty sure that he let Taehyung try a ridiculous number of jackets on him, but he didn't really mind as long as Taehyung stayed that close to him.