Archive of Our Own

The end of the world had been averted. It was not because of the actions of a certain angel and a certain demon, but perhaps in spite of them. The humans did it themselves. Clever humans! It spoke to the special place they had with the Almighty… special enough that the Son of God took on human flesh Himself and died for their redemption. This did not sit well with some of the angels… they were jealous that God would elevate the status of mere flesh and bone above their own celestial perfection. Lucifer in particular was outraged. Serve humanity?! AS IF. That would never happen! He led a rebellion that took a third of the choirs of angels with him in a catastrophic fall from grace. Not all of them were fully invested in the cause, however. One in particular just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The angel Crawley was ousted from the comforts of heaven by nature of the friends he kept. He had never met the angel named Aziraphale before, but if he had, he probably wouldn’t have given him a second glance. Crawley aspired to be daring and edgy, while Aziraphale was a classic “teacher’s pet.” If they were human teenagers, Aziraphale would have spent his free period hanging out in the band room, volunteering to polish the instruments, while Crawley would be sneaking a cigarette in the boy’s lavatory. Crawley didn’t know his was the wrong crowd… he just wanted to “fit in” with the cool kids. It was the classic case of guilt by association.

Time was perceived differently by celestial beings. Six thousand years on Earth passed in the blink of an eye, it seemed. The demon Crowley (as he was now called) and the angel Aziraphale ran into each other throughout the course of history, every couple hundred years or so. To them it seemed only like last week. Their acquaintance began in the Garden of Eden, where Aziraphale watched as the serpent tempted the humans to their original sin. Aziraphale tried to counter the influence of the tempter, but he couldn’t stop the humans from giving in… they had free will, after all. He could only try to lessen the impact… help them in any way he could. He gave them his flaming sword to protect them from the elements outside the garden. As for the serpent, Aziraphale was wary of him, but couldn’t be angry… (even with righteous anger), for he knew that the serpent was just doing what he was assigned to do. Evil was in his nature, and it wasn’t his fault. And besides, Aziraphale had a soft spot in his heart for animals…. All Creatures Great and Small, and all that. It wasn’t until the serpent transformed into a demon, standing on the wall next to Aziraphale when the Great Storm came, that he realized what he was dealing with. His adversary was an angel, like himself. A fallen angel, perhaps, but an angel nevertheless. No more free to deviate from his orders than Aziraphale was. Answerable to his Higher Authorities. On order from Below. It appeared that they would be working together on Earth then… probably would bump into each other on the rare occasion. It wouldn’t do to be rude. Sworn enemy or not, good manners were important to Aziraphale. He introduced himself, and actually found conversation with the demon rather enjoyable. Certainly better than being alone. When the rain began, he raised his angelic wing to shelter the demon from the storm. It was only polite… he would have done it for anyone. But to the demon Crawley, it was a gesture of kindness unlike anything he had ever known. Not since his tragic fall had anyone shown him even a hint of compassion. It was a small thing, really, but it made an impression. Something inside the demon shifted… something in his soul…. moved just a bit off-center. The utter frozen darkness of despair that had been his constant companion since the fall began to thaw just a tiny bit…. almost imperceptibly. Replacing it was something that very vaguely resembled… hope . Maybe this assignment on Earth wouldn’t be so bad after all… it got him out of the torments of Hell, for one thing. And if bumping into this angel every now and again was part of the deal, well... it had been forever since he experienced the all-encompassing goodness of Heaven, but he hadn’t totally forgotten that there was something else other than the darkness that now laid claim on him. And this angel was the closest he had been to goodness. For a reason he couldn’t explain, he felt drawn to this warmth when he should have been repelled by it. He made a note to himself to seek out the angel at every opportunity.

Years past… centuries rolled into millennia. The demon Crowley and the angel Aziraphale found, either by coincidence or something else, that their paths kept crossing. Whenever they found themselves at the same place at the same time, they carried out their respective duties quickly, so that they could meet up afterwards for lunch. They didn’t need to eat, of course, but being on Earth amongst humans for so long naturally spiked their curiosity for human customs. Aziraphale in particular loved the humans’ penchant for creating delicious concoctions with food. He developed a particular fondness for it that bordered on passion. He would travel the globe to sample a new chef’s creations…. no distance was too far. Crowley, by contrast, barely tolerated food. He would partake only in the company of the angel, just to avoid putting Aziraphale in the awkward situation of having to eat in front of him (which Aziraphale considered rude and would have hampered his complete enjoyment of the meal). This consideration for another’s feelings was uncharacteristic for a demon, which should have been a clue to them both that something fundamental about Crowley’s nature was changing, just by his proximity to Aziraphale. But that level of self-awareness was not present yet in Crowley, who still reveled in being mostly selfish. And while the food did not tempt him in any way, the wine and spirits certainly did. He had to hand it to the humans there. He did enjoy indulging in copious amounts of alcohol, and to his amusement and surprise, Aziraphale did too. This was decidedly un-angel-like, as temperance was most certainly a virtue. It was clear to all but these two that something fundamental about Aziraphale’s nature was changing, too, simply because of his proximity to Crowley. He was not, and could not, become evil… that wasn’t it. It’s just that something in his soul was shifting just a smidge off-center.

Familiarity breeds contentment, and over the many years, the friendship between the angel Aziraphale and the demon Crowley became like a comfortable old shoe. Both had their respective jobs to do, of course, but they carried them out only half-heartedly, aware that for the most part, their actions simply cancelled each other’s out. They even entered into an “Arrangement,” whereby one of them would do the jobs of both, for convenience sake. Whatever it took to cross the tasks off their respective lists, so that they could get back to what both found really important – enjoying each other’s company. It was an arrangement that worked out well for them both, and for the most part, their respective Head Offices didn’t seem to mind. Years rolled happily by, and the angel and the demon grew to be better friends. Neither seemed to even remember why they were ever considered “adversaries.” They were both only truly happy when they were together. Many happy nights were passed sitting by a cozy fire in Aziraphale’s bookshop. Angels didn’t need to sleep, but Crowley especially found it appealing, once sleeping for an entire century. Nowadays, he was most happy to doze off on Aziraphale’s couch, while the angel sipped cocoa and read to him aloud. His modern, sterile flat that he once took pride in now seemed comparatively cold and unwelcoming - something a demon should find comforting, but which held no attraction to Crowley anymore. Home – his REAL home– could only ever be wherever Aziraphale was. Neither would ever admit it, or give voice to the realization, that their connection had grown considerably deeper over the years. Once casual acquaintances, the angel and demon had become inseparable. They couldn’t explain how this could be so, but they accepted it as a matter of course. No one ever challenged it before, neither from Above or Below. This was their unique reality, and it fit them both like a warm, fuzzy blanket on a snowy day.

Armageddon changed everything. No longer could the demon and the angel go about their daily rounds unnoticed by Heaven or Hell. A war was brewing, and both sides demanded unflagging allegiance to their respective causes. Interest in the events unfolding on Earth took on a new importance. Both Crowley and Aziraphale were enlisted by their Head Offices to play vital roles in the bringing about of the End of the World. Aziraphale was at first excited about the idea that good would finally triumph over evil. He had every faith that the Almighty would see to it that it would be done in such a way that everyone would be happy in the end… that the Fallen would be lovingly accepted back into the flock and everyone would live happily ever after. It took Crowley to open his eyes to exactly what war would mean for both of them; a loss of the creature comforts that they had both become so accustomed to, and more significantly – a loss of their friendship. For in truth, whichever side won the war (and it was widely prophesied that Good would win the day) would totally and completely destroy the other. For our angel and demon, the realization that one of them would not make it out alive became desperately clear. And for both, that simply was not acceptable. When forced to choose sides, both Aziraphale and Crowley discovered that, more than anything else, they were one THEIR OWN side.

This did not sit well with their Head Offices. Crowley and Aziraphale were instrumental in thwarting Armageddon, and both Heaven and Hell wanted revenge. When Agnes Nutter’s final prophesy landed in Aziraphale’s hand at the Tadfield Airbase, he put it in his pocket to study later. Sitting on a bus stop bench in Lower Tadfield that evening, he asked Crowley what it could mean. Crowley was sure that they had not heard the last from Heaven or Hell. “We both know what they could use to destroy us. Holy water would kill me, and Hellfire would kill you. We could switch places,” he said. “But what if they do it another way? A flaming sword could kill either of us. There are countless other ways we could be exterminated,” Aziraphale replied. Crowley thought it over. “We can’t be certain, but at least by switching, we give ourselves one advantage. If I’m wrong, then I will die knowing that I did what I could to save you.” Aziraphale’s heart nearly broke. Crowley was willing to die for him. And he felt exactly the same way. “As I would for you, my friend.” They clasped hands, and entered each other’s corporeal forms. In the end, their gamble paid off. They survived the attempts to destroy them, and returned to Earth triumphant. They believed that this would buy them a little time until Heaven and Hell came looking for them again.

Back in the bookshop, time passed pleasantly as it had before. But something had changed. THEY had changed. Before, they lived with the vague certainty that they stood for something larger than themselves. At least for Aziraphale, who took his whole identity from being one of the “good guys.” He felt the loss of that association with Heaven as deeply as you would feel the death of a spouse. He keenly felt the pain of separation from God. Crowley did not feel the same way about Hell.

“I don’t understand, Angel. Why do you care what they think? They showed their true colors. They’re not who you thought they were.” “I can’t believe that, Crowley. God is all good, and all love. What transpired here did not reflect the nature of the Almighty that I have come to know. Throughout it all, She kept silent. We don’t know if how it turned out wasn’t part of Her ineffable plan after all.”

Crowley considered this possibility. “Aziraphale- all I know for sure is that when I thought there was a possibility that you would be taken from me, I didn’t want to live anymore. I don’t give a toss for what Hell thinks of me, or what Hell stands for. I only care about you. I will probably dissolve into embers for saying this, but I love you. I took you for granted, and it took almost losing to you realize that everything that I am, and everything I hope to be, is because of you. You saved me. I was fallen, and maybe I still am fallen, but even so, you cared. You showed me tenderness that I didn’t deserve, and you lowered yourself to my level so that you could elevate me to yours. I may be a demon, but you make me feel like I’m not. I think to myself that if Aziraphale could care for me, then maybe I’m not so bad after all.”

Aziraphale’s eyes filled with tears. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Crowley loved him. He knew that they shared a fondness… that they enjoyed each other’s company. But he never let his mind consider the possibility of love, other than the general “love thy neighbor” variety. Of course Aziraphale loved everything and everyone. He was made to love. But only in that general way, as a conduit of God’s love for Her creation. It was never personal for him. Until now. He stepped closer to Crowley and reached out to touch his face, also strewn with tears. He gently ran his fingers across his cheek. “My darling, I’m so sorry,” he sobbed. “I didn’t know. I was blind. I wanted so badly for my side to be right… I was so proud to be on the ‘winning team,’ that I didn’t consider that being so meant putting you on the losing team. It took the end of the world to see that I could only ever want to be on YOUR team. Of course I love you too. I always have – I just didn’t know it.”

The angel and the demon clung to each other desperately. The stress of the events of the last several days, of almost losing each other and everything that they held dear, burst forth in a torrent of sobs, like floodgates holding back 6000 years of unexpressed emotion. They cried and held each other until they could cry no more. Finally they parted. Their eyes met. “My angel.” “My darling,” came the reply. The demon cradled Aziraphale’s face in his hands, and lowed his own so that he could kiss the tears off of his cheek. “How I love you…” he whispered. Aziraphale lifted his head so that his lips met Crowley’s. For the first time since time began, the angel and the demon shared a tender kiss, filled with all the words they were never able to say.

That night, Crowley slept more soundly than he ever had. No more would he need to tiptoe around his feelings. No more would he try to hide behind a “badboy” façade. He had declared himself to his angel, and his angel had returned the sentiment. He didn’t think he could ever ask for anything more. He woke early in the morning and looked around the sitting room for Aziraphale. He looked in the kitchen. He wasn’t there. He tiptoed out into the shop, where he saw a sight that filled him with awe. Kneeling on the floor next to a circle surrounded by candles, was Aziraphale, deep in prayer. He didn’t want to disturb him, so he froze and held his breath. Prayer was something he only vaguely remembered from his days before the Fall. Demons have no need for prayer, as they were by definition, damned. They were beyond hope, beyond salvation. It was too late for them. And yet....

The demon knew that Aziraphale had not completely lost his faith. Heaven had seemingly betrayed him, yet the angel still could not accept that God Herself had turned her back on him. All that he was retained the hope that God was all love and all mercy. While the demon felt cut off from that reality, he was happy for Aziraphale that he was not. To pull Aziraphale from all that he believed in would be selfish, and somewhere deep within Crowley he remembered hearing somewhere that

Love is patient; Love is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; Love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. ¹

He stood by silently, as his angel prostrated himself in prayer.

“Dear Lord,” began Aziraphale. “I know I have no right to approach you this way. I want you to know that even as I defied the orders from your archangels to engage in the War, I never did so in defiance of You. I never once believed that War was part of Your ineffable plan. The world was Your creation- beloved from the beginning. I was sent here to serve the humans because of that love. I was asked to be the extension of Your love, and I have always tried to love them as You do. I ask for Your forgiveness for the times when I have failed to love perfectly. But Lord, I need Your help. I was told that you are Perfect Mercy, and that no one is beyond the reach of Your forgiveness. Yet my beloved, your child Crowley believes that he sits outside the circle of Your love. As if anyone could. He believes that he is UNFORGIVABLE. Lord, I need to understand how this could be. If I, imperfect as I am, could love and forgive Crowley, than how much more could YOU, who is all love and all mercy, love and forgive him? I need to know.”

Crowley’s breathe was choked up in his throat. It was all he could do to stifle his sobs. He had never felt more love than he did at this very moment.

Aziraphale continued, still unaware of Crowley’s presence.

“Lord I ask you – I beg you – to show me Your face. My heart is aching with love for Crowley, but it breaks for him, too, because he doesn’t know Your love. Please Lord. Please answer me.”

At that moment, the circle glowed with a blinding light. A voice came down from Heaven- soft and gentle, but filled with all the authority of cosmos.

“Aziraphale? My child?”

“Yes, Lord?”

“Aziraphale, your prayers have been heard. I want you to know that nothing that you have done has escaped my vision. I have looked deep into your heart, and I know that your intentions have been pure. I release you from service, Aziraphale. I free you to pursue your happiness, in Heaven or upon the Earth, as you choose.”

“Thank you Lord, but this has never been about me. Serving You has always been my privilege and my pleasure. I ask for my friend, the demon you know as Crowley, who once was an angel but was caught up in the Fall…”

“Aziraphale, why do you think that Crowley cannot be forgiven? Has he asked me for forgiveness?”

“No Lord, I don’t believe that he has. He was told he could not… that it was impossible for him to do so. He was told that he was unforgivable.”

“My child- I will be the judge of that. Bring Crowley to me.”

Aziraphale jumped at the suggestion – ready to run into his apartment to wake the demon up. He was surprised to nearly run Crowley over before he had even taken two steps.

“I’m already here, Aziraphale.”

“My darling – I’m sorry. You didn’t ask for this, but I just had to know… I’ve asked God to…..”

“I know. I heard everything, angel. And I know why you did it. I’m here- I am ready to face Her. Come what may.”

Crowley stepped forward, towards the light.

“Crowley, my child. Is that you?” asked the Lord.

“It is.” Crowley replied, bowing down out of respect.

“It’s been so long since we’ve spoken, child. And I know why. You were caught up in a rebellion not of your own making. Why did you not seek me out sooner?” God asked.

“I was told I was nothing – less than nothing. Hated by God and all the choirs of Heaven. Unforgivable. And I did my best to live up to those expectations… I defied Your laws, and I tempted your children. I’m responsible for Original Sin. And I enjoyed it. Lord I relished in defying You. Until I met Aziraphale. You were important to Him, and I learned of Your love through his kindness. I don’t deserve forgiveness, Lord, but I ask it – because I want to be worthy of his love, and of Yours.”

A warm glow came over Crowley’s body. A feeling of pure love and goodness permeated His soul. Any residue of evil intent vanished from his heart. He felt completely new.

“My child, Crowley, you were willing to sacrifice yourself for Aziraphale. You may have heard that ‘there is no greater love than this, than to lay down one’s life for a friend.’² You have demonstrated a love that runs as deep as my own. You had only ever had to ask me for forgiveness, and it would have been yours. I forgive you, my child, and I release you. You are free to seek your happiness in Heaven or on Earth, as you choose.”

“In Heaven, Lord? I’m a demon! Demons are not welcome in Heaven!”

“Check again, my child. You are now once again the angel known as Crowley.”

Aziraphale gasped in joy. Crowley was overwhelmed with emotion. He fell to his knees and sobbed. “Thank you, Lord. Thank you.”

The Lord spoke again. “Aziraphale. Crowley. Come forward together.”

The both approached the circle.

“Take each other’s hands.”
They did so, and as they did, gold bands appeared, floating in the air.

“Take the rings, my doves.” They each took one.

“It has not escaped me how pure the love that you have for one another is. I wish to give my blessing to your love. Do you wish this?”

In unison, the angels answered, “We do, Lord. More than anything.”

“Put the rings on each other’s fingers, my beloveds.” They did so, all the while staring deeply into each other’s eyes.

“What God has joined, let none tear asunder. Go in peace, my children. Go in my love and my blessing.”

Crowley and Aziraphale stood in stunned silence, still holding one another’s gaze. Gently, their lips met, and their union was sealed with a kiss of radiant, perfect love.

“Did we just get married?” asked Aziraphale, still in shock.

“I believe we did, Angel,” beamed Crowley, happier than he had ever been in his life.He took his angel’s hand, and led him to the bedroom, for what would be a complete union of mind, soul, and body.

Never had either angel felt so complete… so loved. This was what it meant to love, and be loved. And they did, for all the rest of eternity.