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Link was afraid. Terribly afraid. He had dragged his feet as long as he felt was appropriate. He knew what he had to do now. He had to go to Hyrule Castle and face down Calamity Ganon...
When Link had finally woken up in the shrine of resurrection, he had done so with nothing. He had no possessions, no memories, no desires, no personality and no sense of self. It was hard to describe how whole his nothing had been. He wasn't sure anybody had experienced anything like it. He was blissfully asleep one moment and the next he was a man fully grown, but made with and of absolutely nothing. Barely more than a husk he had been. A husk filled and overwhelmed with emptiness and absence.
He never wondered how he survived being such a void though, because the answer was always self evident to him.
Her. The answer was her. Her voice.
Even as low as he had been then, Link inherently knew that he could trust the voice that told him to open his eyes. It wasn't something that even required thought. It was simply a fact. He trusted this voice. This voice which filled him with such warmth even when he had no idea who it belonged to. It wasn't the shrine of resurrection that restarted his heart and returned him to life, it was her voice.
It was Zelda.
Zelda was the first feeling he felt, before he even remembered what feelings were.
From there he got up and continued to follow where the voice told him to go. He was still less than a man at this point, completely lacking the complexity which defined complex life. He did however have a guide now, so at the very least, he was no longer lost.
He hadn't found his own personhood yet though. He grabbed the sheikah slate because the voice told him too and he called it a sheikah slate because that's what the voice had referred to it as. The voice told him he was the light of Hyrule, that he must shine once again. He accepted that, even if he had no way of pinning down what it meant.
After that the voice was gone.
This moment was the most crucial of them all. Could he even be without the voice, when he had placed such significance in it? Prior to this point Link had been nothing more than a leaf. A leaf which easily swayed in whatever direction the wind pulled. Which of course was an improvement over being nothing like he was before. It still however wasn't enough. A leaf on its own was responsive, but not alive. Now that his wind was gone, Link had to have the strength to lead himself. He had to decide, to be or not to be. That was his question. It would be the most important question he ever faced. This was where he felt his second feeling. This feeling was much less appealing then the voice had been.
It was cold.
He felt cold.
That small feeling was what made him decide to be rather than not to be. Being didn't need to have a grand reason behind it. He was cold. The feeling of cold created the desire for warmth. It was that simple. That was all it took to be. A leaf never desired anything after all.
Now, at last, he was a man. He still didn't have memories or possessions, but he had feelings and desires. Before he was nothing, now he was cold. Now he was a man who wanted to be warm. Most human wants where slightly more significant than that and usually more abstract. Beggars couldn't be choosers, though. That was all he had for the moment, therefore, it was enough.
His goal of not being cold was easier to achieve then he could have expected. After he looked around a bit he found some old and tattered clothes in chests. He put them on and wouldn't you know, he got warmer. He wondered briefly who had left the warm clothes behind for him. He thanked the voice which had spoken to him for them. Less because he believed that she left them here and more because he literally had no one else he to thank.
Now that he was warm he needed a new goal. A new reason to carry on. He decided on the goal of going forward simply because he didn't want to go back. There was an obstacle in his way though. It was blocking his path as obstacles were so wont to do. This obstacle didn't go up forever though, so he decided to climb it.
This was when he had felt his next feeling. Third if you wanted to keep track. It was while he was climbing the steep incline that he had felt it. He had felt weak. Weak and frail. You see, he was about halfway done ascending up the rock face when he suddenly became short of breath and needed to rest as his stamina recovered.
Imagine his confusion. At this point in time Link had had no idea that breath could get short in the first place. The two words seemed unrelated but, just as he instinctively knew how to climb a wall, he instinctively knew that shortness and breath could belong together. Knew that he was experiencing it now.
Fragile.
He felt fragile because that was what he was.
He didn't like this feeling. Once he had finished with his climbing, he decided to run from it. He ran as fast as he could in his attempt to get away from his frailty and yet the feeling stayed all the same. Every step he took to escape it was a step his frailty took in turn. It seemed like they were inseparable. Like weakness was woven into his very soul.
Realizing that running wouldn't get him anywhere, he decided to go nowhere instead. His feet came to a stop, and good thing too, for they were now at the edge of a cliff face. This was where the next feeling came in, a feeling which felt quite good to experience.
Awe.
He was in awe.
He didn't remember going out of awe, but nonetheless, he was glad to be back in it all the same. If he was being honest though, he was enjoying being in awe so much, that it actually took him a few moments to realize what he was being in awe of. It was the view. The vast expanse of nature before him. Nature that was both peaceful and violent. Even to a man devoid of his own history as Link was, he was still capable of marveling at beauty. Just like that, Link became slightly more whole again.
That was where his adventure began. There were other feeling of note after he felt awe of course. Like the curiosity that came from meeting an old man by his fire. The annoyance when the old man wouldn't just give him his paraglider. The fun of getting new runes on his sheikah slate and testing how they worked. For a brief while, Link considered himself a lighthearted and easygoing person, maybe even cheeky at a push. Then new feelings came. Like the shock of the old man's true identity and the weight of the burden of Link’s true purpose. He had to save Hyrule from an evil being.
Considering Link’s goals in the past had been ‘get warm’ and ‘go forward’, it was quite a herculean task to put at his feet. Link might have been an incredible knight before the shrine of resurrection, but afterwards he felt like any ordinary bokoblin could take him down with a single blow.
He simply wasn't up to the task. Surely there must be someone better. Someone who actually remembered all the experience he supposedly had already had. For a moment after getting off the Great Plateau, Link considered never going to Hyrule Castle. Maybe he'd leave Calamity Ganon to its own devices.
He changed his mind, of course, but not to save the kingdom. He decided to fight Ganon because the woman who had spoken to him when he woke up would be trapped with that evil pig demon until he did. He barely knew her at this point, but he was already certain that she was worth it.
As his adventure drew itself closer to its climax though, something happened. Each time he found one memory of his, he deliberately took slightly longer to find the next one. All the Divine Beasts were ready for him at this point. Why had he not yet gone to save Zelda? Especially when she was the only thing he had for going to Hyrule Castle in the first place.
Fear.
He was afraid. Not of the calamity mind you. The once cunning Ganondorf was now nothing more than a mindless beast. He had been given over to his most basic and primal desires for bloodshed and destruction. Link feared lynels more than he feared what was left of Ganon. His reason for delay lied elsewhere.
Zelda.
He was afraid of seeing Zelda again.
She was no longer just a guiding voice in his head as she was back then. He remembered the general outline of their history now. Their relationship hadn't gotten off to a good start by any means. For a period of time Link was sure that the princess hated him. Not that that particularly bothered him though. As a knight it wasn't his duty to be liked. It was his duty to serve and protect the princess without any regard for his own safety. Link was perfectly content to exist only in this capacity for the rest of his life. If Zelda’s scorn for him never faded, then he'd be content to live with that too.
Something changed however, the day after he saved her from those yiga clan assassins. Zelda suddenly seemed embarrassed and ashamed of her grudge against him. She wished to see if he would accept her most humble of apologies. He would never have beseeched her to treat him well, but he was happy to accept her apology all the same.
After that it got a bit fuzzy. Quite a lot of his less significant memories were still lost to him. The next event he could recall clearly was when they were in that field together. One second she was quietly marveling at a rare flower and the next she was almost bouncing with glee as she tried to get him to taste a frog. Zelda had never not been a sight for sore eyes, but it was only then that he saw how beautiful she truly was. She was regal, wise, passionate and gentle all at once. Above all else though, she was pure. Simply pure.
He wanted everything to stop. He wanted nothing to change ever again. If he could just stay in the light of her infectious joy a little while longer, he'd die a happy man. It truly was a gifted which he could never have deserve receiving. To bear witness to the depths of her heart and the strength of her spirit.
Then there was her time praying at the goddess statue in the spring of power. Where her frustrations over her lack of spiritual achievements made her break down into tears. Here was a woman so noble that she put aside her own wants to pursue a power which would save her people from coming evil.
She had been nothing but entirely devout and devoted to the Gods her whole life, and yet they rewarded her with cruel silence. She had given everything that she had to unlock her powers and her father never even gave her gratitude or appreciation. He was no better. He was a knight, her knight. It was his purpose to serve and protect her. However, no matter how hard his heart ached for her and no matter how hard he tried to comfort her, he couldn't shield her from her pain. He failed her. He wished with all his soul to never fail her again.
If only he knew about the failures yet to come.
When Calamity Ganon finally arrived he foolishly thought that he was ready. It was arrogant of him to think that any amount of preparation could prepare oneself for fighting malice in its truest form. It was supposed to be the moment where he and the princess triumphed, but they were completely blindsided by the Guardians.
In mere hours hundreds of hylians died. Their blood drenched the grass as the Guardians effortlessly burned through entire streets and the towns. At no point was it ever a battle or a struggle. It was simply a slaughter. They had already lost but he had refused to admit it. To give in would be to throw Zelda’s life away, that would never be an option for him.
He'd been sworn to protect her. She gave him the honor of having faith in his skills. She entrusted her life to him. Her father, his King, entrusted her life to him. When it came down to it, there was a Guardian whose sight was locked onto the princess, intent on her death, and what did he do? He collapsed into the mud. When it really mattered, while she was in harm’s way, he fell. He failed. He was too weak. His body gave in to his mortal wounds, and In doing so, he left her to die.
Thankfully, that was the moment where her power had awoken itself. She saved her own life and then set about saving his. Making sure he got to the shrine of resurrection so that his heath could be restored. She then saved what was left of Hyrule too. She faced the claimity alone, and one hundred years later, she was still facing the claimity alone.
Now do you understand his dread at seeing her again? The depth of his failure was so extreme that he was delaying their reunion. He remembered that day when they were in the grass and she had implored him to taste that frog. Ever since then he had wanted to make sure that her life was filled with as much joy as could be known. Instead he had left her with a alone with a being of true evil for an entire century. There had never been a worse knight in history.
The Divine Beasts were ready, he had restored as much of his memory as he could and the air was still in anticipation of the coming conflict. He was the worst knight in history, it was true, but he was a knight still. The courage of the hero was pumping through his veins with every beat of his heart. He had now learnt that having courage had never meant not having fear. It meant being afraid and doing what you needed to do anyway.
One of Kass’ many songs came to him then, in this moment before action.
The flames crawl, the waters rise,
The lightning strikes, the wind sighs.
A beast beyond the divine four,
awaits a hero forevermore.
Let not the sound leave horses riled.
Breathe in the breath of the wild.
With that, Link was off to confront his fate. Not that ugly beast’s fate though. Zelda had kept him at heel for so long now, he was certain that today would be the day she killed Ganon with his help. No, despite his fear, Link was off to face the fate which his princess decided to give him. He had been content with her scorn back then when they first met, but now, he thought it would break him.
What had she called him again? When he had awoken from the shrine of resurrection? It was so long ago now.
Link, you are the light. Our light.
He had failed at being her knight, but if he could just be her light for this single day, then maybe that was enough. Maybe, if he was truly lucky, he'd see the beauty of her smile once again.