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“Do you think Merula’s been acting weird lately?” You ask Penny while dining in the Great Hall. Next to you, she hums as she takes a bite of her gigantic sandwich.
“How so?” She asks once she swallows. She follows your line of sight as you glance towards Merula’s seat at the Slytherin table. She’s talking about something with Ismelda, both their faces too neutral to tell about what.
“She’s been avoiding me.” Penny gives you an inquisitive look and you continue. “She doesn’t sit with me during potions class, started ignoring me in flying, and oh—the other day she saw me walking towards her and she turned the other way.” You glance over at her again. “Don’t you think that’s weird?”
Penny shrugs. “I haven’t heard anything, but maybe she’s hiding something.”
You frown. Merula hiding something is never good. “What do you think it is?”
Penny polishes off her sandwich then turns to you with a look in her eyes that can only mean trouble.
“Why don’t we find out?”
You sit next to Penny in the ancient artifacts room as she prepares another one of her pearly concoctions. Polyjuice potion, she’d told you.
“What're you doing?” You ask.
Penny shushes you before pulling a strand of hair out of a small sealed bag. “We’re turning you into Snape.” She says like someone would say ‘we’re having soup for dinner’.
A plume of smoke bursts from the cauldron when she adds the strand of hair and you blink the smoke from your eyes, nose wrinkling. “Do you think she’d tell Snape her secret?” The idea seems ridiculous, but you haven't got anything better.
Penny shrugs as she stirs the potion. Once she seems satisfied, she finishes it off with a wave of her wand and hands it to you, looking expectant. “Guess we’ll find out.”
Merula seems extremely sullen as she walks down the corridor, looking at the floor as she nears you.
You’re still a bit disoriented from drinking the potion. Snape is a different height, and you don’t look at Merula from this angle a lot. “Miss Snyde.” You call out when she gets within range.
Merula looks up with a scowl, but she comes up to you—well, Snape—and waits for you to say something.
You awkwardly clear your throat. “I—er,” you cough when she gives you a weird look. Snape isn't the most talkative person, but you're still not making a great impression. “I’ve noticed that you’ve been distracted lately.” When Merula looks at you like you’ve sprouted two heads, you quickly add, “not that I care, but it's affecting your performance in class.”
Merula still has her eyes narrowed in suspicion, and you awkwardly clear your throat. “Is there anything you’d like to share?”
There's an unbearable silence for a moment. For a minute, it seems that she's found you out and that the jig is up, but then she starts talking. “It’s stupid,” she mutters.
“Bore me with the trivialities.” You drawl, trying your best to sound convincing.
Merula glances at you quickly, like she’s making sure that you're actually listening. Then she drops a dungbomb.
“I fancy someone.”
You blink.
And you know this is an invasion of privacy, that Merula is probably too embarrassed to tell anyone, much less a professor. You also know that if she finds out she's telling you that she’ll be very angry.
But she doesn’t need to find out, and now you have to know.
“Who is it?” You ask when the silence starts to become awkward.
From the look on Merula’s face, it isn’t something she’s proud of. Barnaby? You think. He might be a little dull, but he’s got a heart of gold. Who else could it be?
Merula fidgets, looking towards the floor. Her face is a deep shade of red. “(l/n).” She whispers.
With all the professionality in the world, you freeze, widen your eyes, then say “what?” in an extremely un-Snape like way.
Merula flushes an even darker red before her eyes go indignant. “Forget it.” She turns to leave.
“No, no.” You say in a way that's too hasty and too out of character. Fortunately, Merula is too flustered to notice. “We can discuss this after class.” She jerks her head up, eyes wide. “I have experience,” You say as confidently as possible, even though you think Snape has none at all, “that I will share with you later.”
Merula is still staring at you funny, but she doesn’t mention it. “Okay.” She says, tone extremely incredulous, and you have to act offended on Snape’s behalf.
The potion’s classroom is quiet as you sit there waiting for Merula. The potion wore off a day ago, and now you’re contemplating what you’re going to say to her.
Even with everything she’s done to you, you still feel guilty. You tricked her into confessing her crush on you, and now it’s time for damage control.
Start off with an apology and explain the situation first, you tell yourself. You haven’t quite figured out what you’re going to do after that.
You’re still mulling over your plan when Merula walks through the door. She freezes when she sees you, eyes narrowing suspiciously. You stare at each other for an awkward moment before she breaks the silence.
“Where’s professor Snape?” She asks sullenly, edging towards the door.
You jump into action at the word ‘Snape’. “Right. About that. I, uh—” You trail off, unsure of what to say. Merula is now looking at you like you’re a pile of rotting gillyweed, and you’re starting to wonder if she really fancies you at all.
“I owe you an apology.” You manage to finish.
Merula rolls her eyes. “About time.” She mutters.
“Not like that," you say hastily. You continue when she stares at you. “I, er, may have drank some polyjuice potion.” You scratch your neck sheepishly when she keeps on staring. “And, er, how should I put this,” Merula is now looking at you like you’re a lunatic, “do you remember the other day when you told Snape about your crush?”
It takes her a second, but then it sinks in and Merula goes pale, eyes widening with realization. “No.” She says, even as she realizes the implications behind your words.
“Yeah.” You wince. “That was me.”
For a second, you think Merula might start crying. Her face scrunches up, expression indiscernible and you open your mouth to comfort her—
—but then she’s reeling her hand back and decking you so hard that you see stars.
You’re still blinking yourself back into coherency when you catch the furious look on Merula’s face.
“Merula—" You say, but she shuts you up with a look that promises endless turmoil and rushes out the door, leaving you with all your regret.
“And Merlin, Rowan, my jaw’s still sore.” You tell Rowan during charms, rubbing your jaw even though it’s been long since Merula clobbered you.
Rowan hums, evidently disinterested. “Madam Pomfrey healed you two days ago.” They remind you, waving their wand.
“I know.” You say, still thinking about it. It started bruising an hour after you left the classroom, and a worried Ben had ushered you to the hospital wing. “She has such a strong punch, you know?”
“I wouldn’t know.” Rowan answers, humoring you. “She didn’t punch me, remember?”
You continue talking, the image of Merula’s fist clear in your head. “I had no idea she had it in her.”
Rowan yawns, and at this point, you don’t really care whether or not they’re paying attention.
Your thoughts flit to Merula’s mouth twisted into a sneer, the way her eyes turned up at the edges, her flushed cheeks and it hits you.
“Rowan, Rowan. I think—I think I’m in love.”
Now that gets their attention.
Merula takes one look at you and ducks in the other direction. You’ve tried to talk to her the past few days, but all she’s done is ignore you.
Today, however, you feel as though you’re high on luck.
You intercept her on the grand staircase, and her books go flying as she flinches back.
“What are you doing?” She snarls, every syllable drenched with contempt.
“I wanna talk.” You plead, but then Merula is whipping out her wand, pointing it in your face, and you’re forced to move back.
“I’m going to Imperio you into never talking to me again if you come one more step near me.” She threatens. By the look in her eyes, she means it.
With a huff, she gathers her things and hurries around the corner
“Merula, wait.” You follow after her as the stairs shift. “Let me help you carry your books.” You offer, catching up and stopping her again.
Merula tries to sidestep around but you stay in front of her. Talbott gives the two of you a weird look as he passes by.
Professor Snape rounds the corner just as Merula body checks your shoulder and she calls out to him, frazzled and frustrated. “Professor Snape!” He turns and raises a brow, “I’m being harassed.” You freeze and stare at her.
“I’m sure.” Snape drawls, walking over and giving you a withering look. “Ten points from your house.” He says.
You sputter, but by then Merula has already vanished down the hallway.
When you walk into the classroom, Merula is sitting at another table, one far away from you.
Rowan gives you a pitying look. Merula catches your eye and then whips her head around so fast you’re surprised she doesn’t get whiplash.
When class is over, Merula grabs her things and rushes for the door. She must miscalculate how fast she’s going because Barnaby gets up and bumps into her. Her books go flying and you get a feeling of déjà vu as you bend down to help her.
She’s adamantly avoiding your eye contact, so when your hands brush, you catch it and force her to look at you.
“What?” She says, trying to wrench her hand back.
“I’m sorry for what happened.” You tell her.
“I know. You don’t have to keep apologizing.” There’s an encroaching bitter edge in her voice as she stands up.
She jerks when you pull her back towards you and the both of you end up in a heap. “Will you let me finish?” You ask, voice harsher than you mean it to be, but Merula’s has worked the last bits of your patience to nothing.
She seems startled by your sudden intensity and quiets.
“I didn’t mean to trick you like that. I thought you were hiding something: something bad, about the vaults—it doesn’t really matter.” Merula’s mouth dips into a scowl and you pull her closer towards you. “It wasn’t to make fun of you, and I’m not making fun of you now.”
Her face is smoothed out now, puzzled but no longer hostile. She looks a little teary, ducking her head and mumbling something incoherent.
“Merula.” You try gently. When she doesn’t respond, you lean forward, looking at her under the mess of her hair. “Merula.” You say again, and she looks this time.
You swear you can hear Penny cackling in the background when you kiss her, but then Merula’s hugging you around the waist and you stop thinking altogether.
There’s a lot of teeth, and neither of you have much experience. But Merula is pressed up against you, rigid at first but softening quickly, giggling into your mouth and it’s not ideal, but she’s smiling and that’s all that matters.
To both your and Merula’s chagrin, that’s how Snape finds the both of you an hour later: kissing while surrounded by a clutter of books.