Chapter Text
"Someone's sleepy, huh?" Felix laughed, the Australian shifting the group's leader into his lap and cradling him whilst the group looked on fondly. Chan nodded sleepily and buried his face in Felix's neck whilst Jeongin cooed and reached over to fluff up Chan’s curls.
Sitting in the sofa opposite with his legs curled up to his chest, Jisung hid the wistful feeling that was blooming in his chest and rested his head atop of his knees. After the group had found out a couple of months ago that Chan was, in fact, a little, Jisung himself had also been struggling with keeping the same thing a secret, although the two had had no idea of the other’s struggles. Now that Chan had been the braver of the two and came out as a little to the rest of the group, who had happily accepted him and offered to become his caregivers, Jisung was left to agonize over his own situation.
Logically, he knew that the others would be accepting of him and would welcome another little with open arms. Chan would have a play buddy and it’s not like any of the other members had reacted in any negative way at all upon Chan’s revelation. But the doubts and insecurities buried inside Jisung’s mind shrouded the logic in a dark mist and left him feeling alone, confused and distressed.
“Yo, Jisung, you good?” Hyunjin checked, poking Jisung’s thigh with his toe, too lazy to move any further. Jisung looked up and smiled, nodding a quick yes, which was enough to convince Hyunjin, who let his foot flop back onto the couch.
“Jisungie?” came Chan’s childlike voice, the little having looked up from his comfy position on Felix’s lap and was blinking at the blue haired boy. He unsteadily unwrapped himself from Felix and toddled over, ungracefully hopping onto the couch beside Jisung though there was little room and latching onto Jisung’s side, seeing as his legs weren’t currently available to rest on. “Sungie sad,” Chan stated confidently, though his headspace induced voice took away some of his intended seriousness. He yawned widely, covering his mouth with a sweater paw, drawing a whipped ‘aww’ from Changbin and Seungmin. “Hugs make sadness go!” He threw his arms around Jisung’s neck and giggled, drawing a genuine smile from the blue haired rapper.
“Thank you, Channie,” Jisung said genuinely, wrapping his arms around the little’s waist and pulling him onto his lap, legs falling back to the floor to accommodate him. “Now, you’re sleepy and need to rest, so take a nap and you can play when you wake up, yeah?”
Chan mumbled an incoherent, sleepy response as he rested his head against Jisung’s chest and fell asleep within minutes. Jisung stroked his hair soothingly and looked up from the sleeping little on his lap after a few minutes, feeling many pairs of eyes on him.
“Han Jisung,” Minho started softly, so as to not wake Chan. “There’s definitely something you aren’t telling us. You know you can come to any of us, no matter what it is, right?”
Jisung sighed and nodded. “I know, hyung. Thank you.”
Minho looked worried. “We all love you, you know that, Sungie? Especially me.”
“Love you guys too,” Jisung responded, concluding to himself that he should have kept a better emotional mask on to avoid this conversation.
“Whatever it is,” Minho repeated, staring Jisung down. He had the uncomfortable feeling that Minho knew a hell of a lot more than Jisung wanted him to.
Jisung drew in a breath and nodded, suddenly fighting tears but not quite knowing why. He blinked hard and looked back down at Chan’s sleeping form as an excuse to hide his sudden emotional change from the seeking eyes of his fellow members.
“Hmmm,” Hyunjin hummed suspiciously, before being nudged by Felix, who had got up to sit closer to everybody and now shushed him subtly.
“Uh, can someone take Chan for me? I’m really tired, I think I’ll go to sleep too,” Jisung announced.
“It’s four in the afternoon, Sungie,” Minho pointed out.
“I know. But a power nap won’t hurt, right? Gotta keep my energy up for our comeback,” Jisung countered. Minho nodded and bit his lip in defeat, getting up to help dislodge Jisung from under Chan and move him over onto Felix instead. The sleeping little stirred, but didn’t wake up as he settled into his newfound position against his fellow Aussie. Jisung thanked them gratefully before heading to his dorm room, where he flopped against the bed and buried his face into his pillow, groaning dejectedly.
The unexpected emotion of the day had his headspace creeping up on him thick and fast and, despite technically having the chance to slip right then, he was reluctant in case any of the members were to come in and check on him. It wasn’t as if he always waited until he was at the dorm alone; but mostly he waited until late at night to steal a couple of blissful hours in headspace.
Today, though, had been especially taxing and Jisung found himself back on his feet without fully knowing what he was doing and he gave up trying to fight against his mind as he shuffled over to his bedside drawers and pulled out a light green pacifier, slipping it into his mouth and relaxing almost instantly. Already feeling better but slightly bothered by the uncomfortable feeling of the skin-tight jeans he was wearing, he walked over to his closet and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and took off said jeans (with some difficulty in his headspace-hazed mind) and replaced them with the loose, comfortable fabric.
With that done, Jisung plopped back onto his bed, reaching tiredly underneath it to pull out his hidden plushie: red, squirrel-shaped. In his headspace he had begun to refer to it as ‘Minji’. He grasped it close to his chest, burying his head in the plush material and giggling to himself at how the fluffy tail tickled his nose and cheeks.
“Hi, Minji,” he whispered, voice higher than usual and adorably childlike. He shook the plushie excitedly before embracing it again, smiling widely around his pacifier.
He ‘talked’ to Minji for a while longer before deciding that he was tired and would go to sleep after all, so, curling up comfortably under his duvet, suckling happily on his pacifier and clutching Minji the squirrel close to him. And there he fell into a deep, happy slumber.
***
Upon awakening, Jisung blinked sleepily, fists coming to rub at his still half-closed eyes as he realised with a jolt that it was dark out now. Damn , he thought. So much for catching up on sleep, it doesn’t look like I’ll be getting anymore tonight.
He was surprised to find that he wasn’t fully in headspace, as he usually was when he awoke after going to sleep in it. However, he wasn’t feeling fully big; merely on the middle-ground between slipping again and decided to try and slip fully once more; suckling on his pacifier that somehow hadn’t fallen out of his mouth in his sleep and cuddled into his duvet. He had just fully relaxed again when he was startled by a shocked gasp coming from the doorway. Instinctively, his head flew to the door to locate the source of the gasp and his entire being filled with panic as his eyes met Minho’s, mouth dropping open and pacifier falling out as his panicked mind made his eyes fill with tears that were quick to spill.
“Jisung-“ Minho began, but was cut off swiftly by the younger, who managed to force himself out of his headspace with the unwelcome help of his own fear and bolted into the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind himself before sinking to the floor, trembling. Somewhere in his frenzy he had dropped Minji, and now he mourned its absence as his arms felt desperately empty in a time of no comfort.
“Jisung!” came Minho’s equally panicked voice. “Jisung, let me in. It’s okay, I won’t say anything if you don’t want me to. Just… let me in, okay?”
“No,” Jisung whimpered, opting to just succumb to cowardice and stay hidden in the bathroom forever. Maybe he could survive on conditioner until the rest of his members decided to collectively leave and give him a chance to venture out for supplies.
“Jisungie, please,” Minho pleaded, making Jisung wince to hear the defeat in his voice. “Come out. You dropped your plushie…”
Jisung’s heart twisted as he considered the options of going back out and seeing Minho after he had seen Jisung in his littlespace.
Pros? He would get Minji back. His logic argued that Minho would comfort him, with hugs and kisses and soothing words.
Cons? His pride would definitely take a blow, seeing how unwilling he was to leave his private space and face the fact that his secret was out.
“Han Jisung, if you don’t come out this instant I will pick the lock. You know I’ve done this before,” Minho warned, and Jisung sighed. Looks like either way, at least he wouldn’t be drinking conditioner any time soon.
He picked himself up off the floor and reluctantly unlocked the door, stepping back as Minho threw it open within a millisecond of the lock clicking and barrelled right into Jisung, wasting no time in wrapping his arms tightly around the younger.
“Jisungie,” Minho breathed into Jisung’s hair, voice very muffled but just coherent enough to be understood. “I meant it when I said I love you no matter what. From what I saw, and the plushie, and the pacifier you dropped when I walked in, I’m gonna take a very educated guess that you regress too?”
Jisung nodded silently.
“We still love you! We don’t mind. Honestly, we’d all find it adorable. Please… stop hiding, baby…”
Jisung felt his resolve break as he collapsed against his boyfriend. At least there would be less tension and no angst now that he knew. “I… I’m sorry, hyung.”
“Don’t apologise,” Minho commanded. “Just… if you’re comfortable, please don’t hide this. I know you’d be so much happier if this was in the open, you wouldn’t have to shy away from us anymore.”
Jisung sighed against Minho’s chest. “I’m sorry, hyung...” he repeated helplessly. Minho cradled him close, letting their foreheads touch.
“Stop apologising,” he said, bringing their lips together chastely. “I won’t force you into being open about this, but please, consider it. And Chan would have a play buddy! He’ll be so excited!”
Jisung laughed bashfully. “Yeah, I thought about that a lot.” He found himself burrowing closer into Minho, who threaded his fingers through Jisung’s hair and gently lowered the two of them so that they could sit. Jisung instantly climbed into the elder’s lap, seeking comfort.
“Sungie?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you feeling little right now?” came the hesitant question. Jisung paused, before replying.
“Kinda.”
“You can regress,” Minho assured him. “I’m right here. I’ll take care of you.”
“Are you sure?” Jisung breathed questioningly, already sounding younger; more innocent.
“Completely and utterly.”