Work Text:
Namjoon's not quite sure when the paranoia started. But if he had to guess, then he thinks it was about two weeks ago. He thinks it was the fourth Tuesday in a row that Seokjin had either blown him off when Namjoon tried to see him or left early when they were already together.
Four weeks in a row. On the same day. Always around the same time. Namjoon didn't think much of it the first or second week it happened. Seokjin had said he'd had other plans the first week and couldn't meet him for a movie date, so Namjoon didn't question it.
The second week, Namjoon had asked Seokjin on a lunch date to this new cafe and bakery that he knew the older wanted to try. After leaving, they found themselves back at Namjoon's flipping through shows on Netflix, snuggled up on the couch for a couple of hours.
"Did you want to stay for dinner, Hyung? We could order take out from that chicken place nearby?" Joon asked.
"Ahh, Joon-ah, I can't do dinner tonight. I should actually be leaving pretty soon. I'm meeting up with some friends later. But we can order in chicken tomorrow night, okay?"
And they did, so Namjoon didn't even think twice about it.
—————
It was probably two weeks later, when Namjoon found himself hanging out with Hoseok and Taehyung at their's and Yoongi's apartment for the third Tuesday in a row, that Namjoon thinks he started to question his relationship with his boyfriend.
"Where's Jin-hyung tonight? No date tonight?" Hoseok asked.
"I'm honestly not sure anymore," Namjoon sighed. "He seems to always have something else going on nowadays."
"Ah Hyung, don't say it like that. Didn't you just see Jinnie-hyung yesterday?" Tae nudged Namjoon with his foot as he leaned further into his boyfriend's side, curling more under Hoseok's arm. "You make it sound like he's never around anymore."
"Well, it certainly feels that way," Namjoon pouted with a huff. "Why is it always on Tuesdays that he suddenly can't spend time with me? I'm not trying to seem dramatic or needy, but this came out of nowhere and he doesn't tell me anything about these mysterious plans he has every week. It's been a whole month already! Don't get me wrong, I trust him but I just hate feeling lied to."
Yoongi, who seemed to have just walked through the door, chimed in "I don't think you have anything to worry about Joon-ah. This is Hyung we're talking about after all. He's not like Sohee. She wasn't worth all the effort you put into your relationship with her. He'd never cheat on you."
"Yah! HYUNG! Why would you say that??" Taehyung bolted upright. He'd seen Namjoon's face pale at the new train of thought he was given and moved to perch on the arm of the loveseat to comfort him.
Yoongi walked over to the couch and plopped himself in Hoseok's lap, laying his head back and resting it on his boyfriend's shoulder. "What? We all know that Hyungs been in love with Joon since before they actually got together. There's no way he'd do anything like that she-devil. That's all I meant babe."
Hoseok ran a soothing hand through Yoongi's hair, "We know, love. Taetae knows you didn't mean it badly. It's just that Joon's already halfway panicked, so that kind of thing probably won't ease his mind."
Namjoon sighed "You guys really don't think he's cheating on me? I mean, I hadn't even considered it but what if he is?"
Taehyung shot both of his boyfriends an exasperated look as he tried to rub Namjoon's shoulders comfortingly. Yoongi new he was going to get an earful after Namjoon left, and he was almost considering if he should leave with Namjoon and go back to the studio, but he knew he wouldn't be able to avoid his youngest boyfriend forever. More than likely, Tae would just show up at his studio even more upset and drag him home.
"Joon-ah, I really, truly believe that Hyung is too stupidly in love with you to do anything like that. I'm sorry I even mentioned it. It's not even possible, so please just forget it," Yoongi all but begged. "I swear."
Namjoon just nodded at Yoongi's words, seemingly pacified. "Okay. I'm sure you guys are right."
—————
But now, two weeks later, Namjoon wasn't too sure. He'd texted Seokjin earlier this morning to see if he wanted to do something later or if he wanted to get dinner together. He was skeptical but didn't want to give up hope. It had been six weeks in a row that Seokjin had either left earlier than normal or just outright declined plans with Namjoon.
Sure it was only one night a week that he couldn't spend with his boyfriend. That wasn't really the problem. The problem was that they used to do things on Tuesdays with no issues but now they couldn't, and that Seokjin seemed so secretive over these new weekly plans. Namjoon didn't know where Seokjin was or who he was spending his Tuesday evenings with.
He'd tried to ask his boyfriend once or twice, but both times Seokjin had just said he was going out with friends. He'd tried to ask who, but his boyfriend just said they were some new friends he'd met recently. It all just seemed too suspicious for Namjoon.
Which was how he'd found himself sitting in his car, looking at the text Seokjin had sent him this morning, waiting for his boyfriend to leave his apartment so he could finally figure out where he was going.
Reading through Seokjin's text again only made Namjoon more confused.
"Sorry Joonie, I can't tonight. Can we do dinner and a movie tomorrow though? My treat! I miss you! 😘"
How could his boyfriend be so secretive and constantly blow him off on the same day, every week, but still act like Namjoon was his most favorite person?
He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He had to stop himself from trying to pull out his hair. Jimin had just helped him dye it not too long ago, and his roots were barely even showing. He knew the younger would kill him if he ruined his hair somehow.
Damn Sohee for making him have all these doubts! He knows he should trust Seokjin, but he just needed to get rid of this god awful paranoia. He released a breath and removed his hands from his hair.
He checked the time on his phone and continued to watch the door to Seokjin's apartment. 5:40… He does know Seokjin's mystery plans are always around 6 or so… So he's fairly confident that he should see his boyfriend leaving soon.
Guilt is gnawing at Namjoon's stomach. He shouldn't be doing this. He really shouldn't. He should just go home. But he can't move. He wants to leave and just forget this stupid idea of following Seokjin and catching him in the act. But it's like the idea that he might have fallen for another person like Sohee has taken root and won't let go of him.
It's then that he sees his boyfriend leaving his apartment and getting into his own car. As if on autopilot, Namjoon starts his car and waits until Seokjin has pulled out on to the street before he does the same, following him at a distance.
The inner turmoil of Namjoon's mind had him in a near panic. The two different sides of him arguing. The angel on one shoulder begging him to trust Seokjin and just go home! The devil on the other shoulder going on and on about dirty cheaters and needing to catch him red-handed.
Too caught up in his own mind, Namjoon barely stops in time for a red light. But now Seokjin's ahead of him, and he'll probably lose him!
Namjoon sighs and bangs his head back against the headrest. It's just as well. Namjoon doesn't want to jeopardize his relationship with his boyfriend like this… He should just go home. Let himself calm down before he does anything stupid and rash. He really doesn't want to lose Seokjin if his paranoia is getting the best of him.
The light turns green and, even though he can see Seokjin's car not too far ahead of him, Namjoon makes his way over to the turn lane and heads back to his own apartment.
—————
It's about 8:15 that night when Namjoon finally gets a reply back from Seokjin. After he'd gone back home he'd texted the older to ask him to come over after his plans were over. "Hyung, I know you have plans tonight, but can you please come over afterward. Please? I really need to see you."
His heart did a little flip when he read through Seokjin's reply. "Okay, Joonie. 💕 I'll be over soon." He really hoped he was wrong. He didn't think he could take it if Seokjin turned out to be like Sohee…
No. He had to have faith in his boyfriend. He's been friends with Seokjin for AGES and he was there when everything with Soohee had blown up two years ago. He sat there and helped soothe and mend Namjoon's broken heart. He was there when Namjoon tried to date a couple of other people after finally feeling ready about a year and a half ago. He was still there when Namjoon stupidly realized a few months later that maybe he wanted to date Seokjin.
He could do this. He could believe in his boyfriend. He could calmly ask him where he's been and who he's been with, and why he's been so secretive. And he could listen to Seokjin's answer. He could do it. He just has to breathe.
About fifteen minutes later, after Namjoon had finally calmed down, for the most part, he heard Seokjin's usual knock on his door. Taking a few deep breaths, Namjoon got up from his couch, crossed the short distance to the door, and opened it.
Seokjin stood in front of his door smiling while holding up a bag with a box of chicken from their favorite restaurant and a couple of bottles of water.
"I brought us some dinner. I don't know when you last ate, but I'm starving and I hope you'll still eat with me."
"Maybe in a bit Hyung. Come in." Namjoon said, sidestepping his boyfriend and closing the door behind them. He turned around and watched as Seokjin placed the food and water bottles on the small table in front of the couch.
Seokjin turned around, unknowingly taking the seat on the couch that Namjoon has just vacated upon his arrival. Seokjin looked at his boyfriend curiously, noticing how Namjoon still lingered by the door almost uncomfortably. "What's up Joon-ah? You seem… off, I guess?"
Namjoon sighed as he pushed away from the door and crossed to the couch, taking a seat next to Seokjin but not touching him. He couldn't even make eye contact with the older, and it only made Seokjin more nervous.
Namjoon's eyes were trained to the floor as he took a couple of deep, steadying breaths before finally speaking up. "I need to talk to you Hyung, and it's hard because it's a really difficult and awkward conversation. And I don't really know where to start. But I-"
"OH MY GOD ARE YOU DYING?! KIM NAMJOON YOU CANT DIE ON ME! I WON'T ALLOW IT!" Due to the tension and seriousness of the situation, Seokjin's voice started to get louder and more high pitched as he began to panic.
To say that Namjoon was shocked and confused was selling it short. He couldn't even begin to fathom where Seokjin would have gotten that idea from. "W-what?? Oh my god, Hyung no… I'm not dying! Why is that the first thing you think of?"
"I don't know! You just seemed so serious and my mind jumped to the worst case scenario! I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you. I'd be heartbroken Joonie." Seokjin's voice started to return back to normal as he began calming down now that he realized his boyfriend wasn't dying.
Namjoon was floored, and he was starting to feel a sense of dread form in the pit of his stomach. "H-heartbroken? You would be? Really?" He didn't understand. If Seokjin would be that upset if something happened to him, then was he not cheating? Had Namjoon been wrong this entire time?
Confused and a little embarrassed, Seokjin rubs at the back of his neck, replying more than a little sheepishly. "Well yeah, dummy…. I don't know if you realize just how much I love you. I mean, I only waited around for you for almost two years Namjoon-ah. I liked you longer than that, but after your relationship with Sohee ended and I spent so much time trying to help you get over her, I had hoped you'd see me as something more. But then you dated around a little trying to get back out there. And I'll admit I was a little discouraged, but I'm kind of glad you did because now I don't feel like a rebound or anything. I know you chose me because you felt something for me too."
Namjoon watched Seokjin as he spoke, utterly dumbfounded. "I think, maybe, that I am the biggest idiot in the universe." Namjoon threw his head back against the back of the couch with a groan.
"Before I agree or disagree, do you want to tell Hyung why you think you're that big of an idiot?" Seokjin smirked at Namjoon, partially amused at his boyfriend's overdramatic behavior.
"No, I really really don't Jinnie," Namjoon groaned out as he embarrassedly rushed to cover his face with his arms. "You will literally hate me Hyung."
Seokjin scoffed. "Oh don't be ridiculous, Namjoon. It can't be th-"
Verging on hysterical, Namjoon cut off the elder. "It can't be that bad? I can guarantee it's that bad Hyung. You don't even know what I almost did. And after everything you just told me, it's definitely that bad. I'm so stupid. I wouldn't be surprised if you walked out on me. I wouldn't blame you."
Seokjin grabbed Namjoon's arms and wrestled them away from his face. "Okay, let me stop you right there baby… Whatever you did or didn't or almost did, I think I should get to decide for myself if I'm staying right where I'm at or not. So why don't you just take a second to calm your breathing, and then tell me what's actually going on here, hmm?"
Namjoon slouched forward a little, dropping his gaze to the floor again and dragging his hands through his hair yet again.
Seokjin reached up and removed one of Namjoon's hands from his hair and intertwined their fingers, using his thumb to draw soothing circles on the youngers palm. "You know, Jimin's going to kill you if you mess up your hair. And then Kookie's going to be really upset that his boyfriend killed his favorite Hyung. And then what am I going to do, hmm?"
Namjoon groaned and leveled Seokjin with an unamused expression. "How can you be cracking jokes right now when I'm seriously worried you're about to hate me?"
Seokjin sighed, bringing their conjoined hands to his lips and kissing the back of Namjoon's hand. "Because you really ARE the world's biggest idiot if you think I'd ever leave you, Namjoon."
"Universe's biggest idiot, hyung." Namjoon glances at his boyfriend.
"Minor differences. Now quit stalling Joonie and tell me why I'm apparently leaving you." Seokjin laughed his squeaky laugh, and the sounds surprisingly put Namjoon a little more at ease.
He took a deep breath and all in one exhaled blurted out "Ithoughtyouwerecheatingonme."
One hand still entangled in Seokjin's, Namjoon couldn't do much to hide himself away. He could only snap his eyelids shut tight.
Seokjin coughed and sputtered, having inhaled too quickly or something. "I'M SORRY WHAT WAS THAT?? You thought…I was cheating… on you?" Seokjin sounded like he was actually choking.
Namjoon freed his hand and quickly grabbed a bottle of water off the table and handed it to Seokjin, who grabbed it thankfully and took a generous gulp of water.
"After knowing everything you've been through and after everything we've been through so far, what would possess you to think that I was cheating on you? You are definitely an idiot Kim Namjoon." Seokjin just stared in awe at his boyfriend. He couldn't even believe this was what was going on in Namjoon's brain.
"I already acknowledged that Hyung, can we stop rubbing salt in the wound? I mean, you became so secretive, blowing me off or ditching me every single Tuesday for the last month and a half… What else was I going to think?"
"Every Tuesday?" Seokjin was puzzled for a moment before the lightbulb in his brain clicked on and he realized what his boyfriend was referring to. It was Jin's turn to groan. "Oh Lord help me… Tuesday's…. Namjoon, Tuesdays… oh God" Seokjin's ears were turning that shade of red they get when he's embarrassed. "I… uh… Tuesday's for the last month and a half… I've been playing BINGO down at the civic center."
"You- I- What? Bingo?" Namjoon sputtered in bewilderment.
"The civic center my grandparents used to go to. They used to play bingo there all the time. My mother asked me to go the first week, to help out, and I really enjoyed it so I kept going back. But I was a bit embarrassed to tell you I was going and playing bingo with all the grannies every week because I missed mine. But I guess I can see how, considering Sohee and everything, you could have possibly thought what you did. I mean, you're still an idiot and I don't think I'm going to let you live it down anytime soon, but I can understand how you could come to that conclusion. And I'm sorry I didn't clear things up sooner." Seokjin flushed out of embarrassment, but he looked up at Namjoon and the younger could see the sincerity in his eyes.
Namjoon's mouth flopped open and closed like a fish a few times before he finally collected himself and his thoughts. "Your grandma? Oh Jinnie, I'm sorry. Of course, you miss her. I'm sorry I let my insecurities get the best of me. And I guess I should let you know that I almost followed you this evening. I had hoped I'd be wrong, but I thought if I followed you that I'd get the answers to all the questions I'd had. And truthfully, I had started to. I only followed you for a street or two, and then got stuck at a light when you didn't, and I realized I was being the absolutely ridiculous and jeopardizing our relationship if I continued to follow you like a crazy stalker. So I came home and texted you instead. I'm so sorry, I hope you can forgive me."
"Namjoonie… You're the biggest idiot for thinking I could ever cheat on you. But I'm at fault here too for not being honest with you. And while I'm not thrilled that you attempted to 'catch me in the act' basically, I won't deny that I would have LOVED to see the look on your face when you walked in and heard me cracking jokes with all the grannies!" Seokjin began to laugh obnoxiously. "So next time, B-4 either of us jumps to conclusions, we should just talk to each other."
"You're right Hyung. We should just be honest with each other." Namjoon nodded in agreement. "But did you seriously just make a bingo pun?"
"Namjoonie, Namjoonie, Namjoonie… Baby, did you really expect anything less from me? And there'll be plenty more where that came from next week when I drag you with me." Seokjin beamed triumphantly at the younger man.
Namjoon, in turn, was surprised. "Drag me with you? To bingo? I get to go?"
Seokjin just continued to smile at his boyfriend. "Of course you're coming, Joonie! Now that you know about bingo nights, you're obviously coming with me. The grannies will just LOVE you! Like I do. My sweet, idiotic boyfriend." The last was said as he gently ruffled Namjoon's hair.
"Now feed me, I'm starving! I haven't eaten since lunchtime, and the chicken I brought us is probably cold," demanded the older.
Namjoon got up to warm the chicken, shaking his head and laughing at his boyfriend. Everyone had been right. He really was an idiot to have thought that Seokjin would have cheated when he had been the one to help piece Namjoon back together after Sohee.
"Joonie!! Faster! B-4 I wither away and die of starvation!"
Namjoon groaned as if he was physically pained. "Ahh Hyung, really?? Stop! No more bingo puns tonight please!"
"Then hurry back and feed me! I hope you know that you're not getting rid of me for the rest of the night. I'm not leaving until you kick me out tomorrow when you leave for the studio." Seokjin snuggled down into the couch while he waited for Namjoon to come back with their food.
—————
After they finished eating, and we're both changed into pairs of Namjoon's shorts and t-shirts, they curled up together on the couch again ready to pick a movie. It was quiet and more relaxed than when Seokjin had first arrived as Namjoon skimmed through the movie selections.
"Joonie?" Seokjin spoke softly as he rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulder.
"Yeah, hyungie?" Namjoon tilted his head to look better at Seokjin.
"Will you go to Bingo with me next week?" Seokjin's cheeks were dusted pink as he asked.
"I thought I was already going?" Namjoon shifted, causing the elder to sit up and make eye contact with him.
Seokjin's blush deepened a bit. "Well yeah, I know, but I wanted to actually ask you this time. I wanted you to know you had a choice. That you didn't have to go if you didn't want to… If you thought it was stupid."
"Jinnie, nothing you do is stupid. If you want me to go with you, then I'm happy to be there." Namjoon smiled fondly at Seokjin. "Now can we PLEASE find something to watch B-4 I fall asleep! I'd much rather we sleep in my bed than on the couch."
Seokjin stared at the younger man in shock. "Did you just? But- That's my joke!!"
"Tough luck baby, you're not the only one who can crack jokes." Namjoon leaned over and pecked his boyfriend on the lips, pressing the remote into the elder's hand, and then twisting until he could lay with his head in Seokjin's lap. "Now find something to watch, please. I want to cuddle my boyfriend. I missed him."
Fin