Chapter Text
A cold November breeze was fanning through the streets of Seoul, the air of evening chilly and the sky crystal clear that the stars could shine brightly. The actual busy streets were quite empty, just a few people on the pavement walking home but not many.
All the people, young ones to be exact, were filling up a wide hall and cheering for their stars and celebrities to win the desired prizes. They were fans with all their hearts and drowning out the words of the MC duo with their cheering. Today was the night of the MKMF awards 2006. Tonight it would be revealed whom the most desired award of 'Best Artist of the Year' would go to. Masses of the young fans - mostly female - were hoping for their favourite band to win. South Korea's Gods of the East - Dong Bang Shin Ki.
The hall was flooded with the red light sticks glowing in the hands of several fans, their cheering vibrating in the ears of each person in the big hall. Of course in the five young men's as well, the ones they were cheering on the most. They already had won three awards so far, each of them still in disbelief that they did. They still couldn't believe that they had won the desired award of 'Best Group' as well. They were sitting still on their seats, the words of the MC duo drowned by their fans' excessive cheering. They felt proud, light-headed and nervous.
“Now we have the final award to present,” Shin DongYup announced with his female co-host standing next to him. The fans were cheering throughout his words. It was the award everyone expected the most. “This is an award for the best artist, who has been the most active in 2006.”
“Say, ChangMin, what would you do if we got that award?” JaeJoong mumbled close to his band mate's ear, both sitting next to one another on their respective seats. ChangMin glanced at the lead singer and grinned. “I don't know, but I guess YooChun would cry,” he announced with a smirk on his lips. They both chuckled and didn't notice that Kim JungEun was appearing on stage. It was her honour to announce whom the most desired award would go to. The other three didn't notice either, though. YooChun and JunSu were still awed about their already won awards and YunHo seemed to be in very deep thought. His eyes would occasionally wander towards the far right of their seats and land on JaeJoong. He was shining under the dim light that lit the hall, his hair glowing golden and face sporting a wonderful smile. He didn't know what it was nor how it happened but recently he felt quite attracted to the older lead singer. It came to a point that it even frightened him. He was straight, for goodness' sake, and yet he felt more attracted towards JaeJoong than any female he had ever met. What was wrong with him?
“The highest honour for artists, the 'Best Artist of the Year' award. Let's see the nominees,” Kim JungEun announced and the crowd was going wild. They screamed once the first nominee was shown - Dong Bang Shin Ki with their single O – Jung Ban Hap playing in the background. Just now the five said men lifted their heads and registered that it was about time for the award. They were nervous.
Other nominees were Baek JiYoung, Buzz, Rain and SG Wannabe. All five of them were sure that Rain probably would win. They were playing with their fingers or distracting themselves. YunHo's fingers were tapping on his thigh, YooChun and JunSu both resting their arms on their knees with hands folded together. JaeJoong was nervously gnawing on his thumb, his gaze every now and then shifting to the left. The only one who seemed quite composed was ChangMin.
“I wanted to announce it right away, but I've been instructed to stall a little,” JungEun joked around, making the nervousness that raked through the nominees' bodies one by one rise up. Every single one was fidgeting on their seats - it could be each one of them.
“All right, I'll just read this,” came the rescuing response of JungEun. Her every movement was followed closely with expecting eyes. Fans, celebrities, the world watching through television; every single soul was excited to find out whom the award would go to.
The seconds that were passing by, in which Kim JungEun opened the envelope that held the winner, appeared like hours for the waiting nation. Nerves were tensed to an unbearable level when she finally got hold of the little black disc record that sported the name of the winner. All pairs of eyes were trained on her and once her eyes fell onto the name, she smiled.
“So, it's these guys,” she said, her eyes still locked to the black object. Everyone held their breaths, hearts beating like crazy. The fans were still cheering and filling the entire hall with their chanting.
“The 2006 M.net km Music Festival, the 'Best Artist of the Year' award goes to,” she said and the ticking seconds before she finally announced the name were the most tensing ones one can imagine. “Congratulations! Dong Bang Shin Ki!” The hall was exploding with the loud cheers of fans, the red light sticks waving to and fro in a frenzy.
Everyone was standing, clapping their hands to congratulate the five young men who had won. Just the five themselves were still sitting on their seats, sporting the look of disbelief on their faces. None of them moved, all their eyes wide and hearts beating fast.
They did it. They had won, but the thought itself still wasn't registered fully. All of them let their heads fall into their folded hands, ChangMin the first one to rise from his seat. He was followed by JaeJoong who had a silly grin plastered on his face. YunHo as their leader followed closely whilst Rain was already congratulating JaeJoong and ChangMin.
YunHo was congratulated by another artist when JunSu and YooChun finally got up to their feet as well. Their song O – Jung Ban Hap was playing in the background, the cheers of their fans vibrating in their ears.
“Congratulations, Dong Bang Shin Ki! Today is your day. The place is filled with red balloons. You can say 2006 was the year of Dong Bang Shin Ki!” Shin DongYup's words announced throughout the congratulating of the other nominees towards the young men who had won.
Under more praising words of DongYup, the five winners shook hands and bowed to the ones that congratulated them. None of them had yet fully registered that they had won. They were too excited. Under hugs, bows and more congratulations they slowly made their way towards the stage to receive their prize. JunSu was the first to step onto the large stage, followed by YunHo. YooChun, ChangMin and JaeJoong were still caught in the congratulating hugs of the members of Super Junior. The cheers of their fans got louder when they stepped all onto the stage, the red balloons waving excitedly at them and red light sticks glowing brightly.
It was JunSu who received the prize from Kim JungEun, both bowing at the action. YunHo followed closely as well as the remaining three members. Their grey suits were all glowing under the shining lights when they gathered in a circle around the micro they would be speaking into to their fans and all the people watching them. It was YunHo, as their respective leader, who would hold a speech. With trembling hands he reached for the microphone, and bowed down a bit to reach its height. He was speechless, turning his head with a soft smile from one side to another before he finally found the words stuck in his throat.
“Thank you for this award. We already received one last year. I still can't believe it,” he said lowly, still in disbelief. JaeJoong was standing next to him, shifting from one foot to another in nervousness whilst his eyes would travel every now and then towards YunHo. He couldn't focus. His senses and nerves were in turmoil. They had won, YunHo was so close to him, his low and calming voice reaching his ears. If only he weren't in unrequited love with the light-brown haired ....
JunSu's eyes were downcast. The ground to his feet seemed a lot more interesting. YooChun next to him on the other hand had problems to suppress his feelings. His eyes had started to water and he couldn't focus. He lifted his head just to lower it again. He was overwhelmed. ChangMin seemed to be the calmness in person, a wide smile plastered on his face.
“This award is not just for us, but for everyone who helped us. First, many thanks to Cassiopeia,” YunHo remarked, the loud cheering of the fans rising in volume a notch higher. JunSu was clasping their award tight. “And to Yoo YoungJin for composing O – Jung Ban Hap, thank you. And ....” At this point YunHo was so overwhelmed that he couldn't control his feelings anymore. He made way for one of the others to say something and was glad that JunSu did. With a wide smile he tried to suppress the tears of happiness that were threatening to wet his eyes.
Behind him was JaeJoong busy drying YooChun's tears. He gently thumbed away the tear drops that spilled from his soulmate's eyes and smiled softly. “Crybaby,” he mumbled and patted YooChun's back who put his arms around JaeJoong and ChangMin and tried to hold the many tears of happiness in that wanted to fall from his eyes.
The fans in the crowd standing so close to the stage were crying of joy as well. Their beloved boys of their favourite band had once again shown that they were the best. They were proud of them.
“We love you,” YunHo shouted during JunSu's speech of more thankfulness. The fans were screaming even more. “Don't cry,” they chanted, making it so difficult for the five young men to stay calm and composed. YunHo once again stood in front of the micro, speechless with the chanting of their fans.
“I love you, guys,” he said, directing it to his members. He was proud of them. A group hug was what they did last, all clasped tightly together with YooChun crying into YunHo's neck. He was just too overwhelmed.
*****
With a shiver a tall figure stepped into the halls of a pub, the main room hot but empty. He had to make sure that no crazy fans would enter the booked room. It was his job as a bouncer to keep uninvited guests out after all.
“We really did it! Cheers!” a cheerful voice announced loudly with a unique laugh following after, glasses clinking together before five young men took a sip of their drinks.
“I still can't believe it,” a blond youth muttered when he placed his now empty glass onto the table. He placed his chin onto his folded arms lying on the table whilst watching his band mates.
“Well, I couldn't either but it still is true, JaeJoong,” the brown haired next to him muttered, his tongue already a bit heavy. Seemed like his soulmate had looked a bit too deep into his glasses of soju. Thank god they had a few days off after this event.
“You're slurring, Chunnie. You shouldn't drink too much,” JaeJoong muttered, knowing that he himself was tipsy as well but he could handle it. He got hold of the package lying between him and YooChun and retrieved a cigarette. He took a drag once it was resting between his lips and inflamed at the tip.
“I'll get you a new one,” YooChun announced, grabbing his own and JaeJoong's empty glasses before he made his way wobbling towards the bar.
“I want juice,” JaeJoong yelled after him before taking another drag of his cigarette. It calmed him a lot. With amusement he watched JunSu and ChangMin bickering about their drinking habits. Well, ChangMin's drinking habits to be precise.
“ChangMin, you really shouldn't drink that stuff. You're too young,” the black haired complained, sipping once more on his glass filled with orange juice - no hint of alcohol in it whatsoever.
“Calm down, Su. I'm 19, for goodness' sake, so really able to decide on my own,” ChangMin retorted before he took another sip of his glass filled with beer. “Besides, in other countries I can do what I want with this age, so spare me with your complaining,” he further said, sticking out his tongue in mockery.
JaeJoong laughed heartily when JunSu still didn't give up. Meanwhile YooChun had come back from the bar and placed his drink in front of him.
“Thanks,” he mumbled before he took a sip. It was apple juice and not with lacing, his favourite juice.
“YunHo is quite knocking back a drink today, don't you think?” YooChun slurred before he took a drag of JaeJoong's cigarette whose eyes were focused on their leader.
YooChun was right. At the far end of their big table sat YunHo quite all by himself, drowning one glass of soju after another. He didn't know how many it already had been, but from the redness of YunHo's cheeks and heavy head he had to support with his hand he guessed that YunHo was already drunk.
“I'm worried about him,” JaeJoong mumbled, making a movement to grab the package of cigarettes once again.
“The side effects of falling in love,” YooChun sang to himself with a sly grin, earning a punch on his shoulder from JaeJoong. Out of all the remaining members of Dong Bang Shin Ki, YooChun was the only one that knew about JaeJoong's feelings for their leader. He was there when JaeJoong denied his feelings for him, when he fell for him even more and when he admitted that he was truly and unconditionally in love with Jung YunHo. The feeling got even stronger after they had filmed Dangerous Love.
“Uhm, Jae,” YooChun rasped in JaeJoong's hold who was strangling him in mockery.
“What?” the blond responded, loosening his tight grip around YooChun's neck who was staring straight at the other end of the table.
“YunHo is staring at you,” YooChun mumbled when he registered where their leader's eyes were trained at. It earned him a nervous laugh, JaeJoong's eyes showing a hint of hurt. He believed YooChun was mocking him.
“Do you think that's funny?” he asked with utmost hurt in his voice. YooChun should know better than to make such jokes with JaeJoong's aching heart.
“No, I'm serious,” the brown haired replied and pointed not too obviously into YunHo's direction which now made JaeJoong curious. The blond swallowed the lump of nervousness in his throat when he slowly and hesitatingly looked to the side into YunHo's direction. His eyes widened when he found YunHo indeed staring at him. JaeJoong felt heat rising to his cheeks, his entire being drowning in that intense stare of the light-brown haired. He felt hot all of a sudden, his breath going a notch faster the longer he stared back at YunHo. It was as if they were alone and not with their band mates. It was when JaeJoong saw a glint shimmering in YunHo's eyes that he had to look away - embarrassed. He had never seen YunHo staring at something or even someone like this, never in such a predatory way.
“I-I'll go to the toilets,” JaeJoong stuttered, cheeks still tinted a light red when he stood up. He wondered if YooChun had noticed the way YunHo had looked at him when he made his way towards the desired place. He needed to cool down and compose himself again.
YunHo's eyes were following JaeJoong's every movement, gliding down the lines of his body inch by inch. His mind and body were doing everything on their own whenever he was drunk, just like now. He slowly followed JaeJoong, YooChun not able to stop him as the latter was too drunk himself to set a single foot straight ahead. The world was spinning around him and he was more wobbling than walking towards the toilets whilst his mind was focused on one single man. He couldn't hold back his desire any longer. Not in this kind of condition.
The water was rinsing out of the tap, the liquid cold on JaeJoong's hands and refreshing on his heated cheeks. His heart still hadn't calmed down. He looked into the mirror in front of him, his reflected self appearing flushed and wet in the face. JaeJoong sighed.
His hands were leaning against the sink when he remembered the look in YunHo's eyes. Lust, desire, passion. Everything was displayed in them which made him all hot and bothered. He needed to make sure that they would leave soon or else he might forget himself and give in to the restrained desire bubbling inside of him.
With a final sigh JaeJoong opened the door to step out of the toilets and almost jumped back in utter surprise when he found YunHo standing across the wall. His lips were trembling when he lowered his gaze to avoid YunHo's eyes.
“Y-you scared me,” he mumbled when he closed the door behind him and slowly made his way back towards their table. He didn't make it far though as he was faced with YunHo standing in front of him, his eyes travelling over JaeJoong's face and glued to his lips.
“W-what is it?” JaeJoong asked nervously, taking a step back. He feared his resistance would crumble when YunHo would come any closer.
“Has someone ever told you how beautiful you are?” YunHo said in a slurring way yet so confident as if he weren't drunk at all. JaeJoong swallowed, his cheeks glowing light-red at YunHo's words. He indeed had heard it quite often and actually didn't like it, but hearing it out of YunHo's mouth felt so different. 'No, JaeJoong! He's drunk and doesn't know what he's doing!' JaeJoong slapped himself mentally to not fall for a drunken YunHo or else he might regret it. He knew he would.
“YunHo, don't,” JaeJoong said, shoving him a bit aside to walk around him but it was to no avail. Of course YunHo followed him with every step, the sweet words of adoration he always had dreamed of leaving his lips but he knew they weren't said in sanity. As much as he wanted to believe YunHo's words spoken in befuddlement, he couldn't.
He gasped when YunHo pressed him against the wall, the warmth of his body pressed against his own. He shuddered, his hands turned to fists and trembling next to him as he tried to resist the urge to touch YunHo. JaeJoong's entire figure was trembling when YunHo's warm palm caressed his heated cheek. He felt weak in the knees the closer YunHo came with his face until he could even feel the latter's breath brushing against his skin.
“Y-yunHo, please,” he breathed in resistance. If only he weren't that much in love with him he wouldn't have that many problems to resist YunHo. He held his breath when YunHo's eyes lingered on his face, adoration and love displayed in them.
“You're so wonderful, you know that?” YunHo breathed whilst caressing JaeJoong's cheek, a soft smile on his lips. “Always that beautiful smile on your lips,” he further breathed, his thumb tracing the lines of JaeJoong's trembling lips gently.
The latter's eyes were widened, eyebrows furrowed in frustration. 'Why must this happen like this?' he wondered whilst shoving YunHo away. He wanted - no, needed to resist him if he didn't want to fall into a misery.
“YunHo, stop that. I beg you,” JaeJoong said with more confidence, walking further away from YunHo. They had reached the hall again, JaeJoong trying to escape but it was to no avail. YunHo held his hand and turned him around to face him, the blond averting the latter's eyes. Just now the remaining members spread around the table witnessed the inner battle JaeJoong had to go through.
“How can I stop what I feel for you,” YunHo breathed, hurt and longing in his eyes that made JaeJoong speechless. He shook his head, trying to get out of YunHo's hold when he smelled that familiar scent of alcohol.
“No, please, YunHo. You're drunk. You don't know what you're saying,” JaeJoong muttered, struggling to free himself but YunHo only held him tighter. His eyes were wandering towards their table, begging for the others to help him as he felt his resistance crumbling. YooChun was the only one who reacted as the other two were too stunned at what was happening just now. Unfortunately for his resistance, YooChun wasn't fast enough to prevent YunHo from saying those words JaeJoong had always been waiting for, the words that let his heart race and butterflies fly in his tummy.
“I perfectly know what I'm saying, Jae. I love you,” YunHo breathed and JaeJoong couldn't prevent YunHo from diving down and claiming his lips. He was overwhelmed with emotions, his eyes widened before they slowly fell shut at the feeling of YunHo's lips on top of his own. YunHo's lips were soft and warm against his, the unique taste mixed with alcohol intruding his senses. YunHo was holding him close to himself and there he lost it. He gave in to the hidden and dangerous desire he had tried to hold back for so long and let his hands run up YunHo's chest towards his neck, fondling the hair in the back before he wrapped his arms around him.
The world around them had turned silent, the time stopping the longer they kissed and seized the moment. None of them heard YooChun's pleas to stop or noticed his attempts to break them apart. They were just lost in one another's touch and taste. It was like a dream come true for JaeJoong and he sighed in bliss when YunHo deepened their kiss. But once the latter's tongue was sliding past his lips, JaeJoong struggled. He suddenly remembered that YunHo was drunk, not sane at all. He broke apart as hard as it was for him and breathed fast and shallow, his eyes fixed on YunHo and cheeks stained a glowing red.
“I-I,” he stuttered, flushed in embarrassment that he had himself let go so easily and was caught red-handed on top of it all. His eyes were shifting from YunHo to YooChun and back to YunHo, glued to the lips he had just felt earlier.
Without another word he stormed past the stunned young men and ran out of the pub into the cold and empty streets of Seoul. He ran towards their apartment - luckily it wasn't that far away from the pub - and hid himself in the bathroom once he stepped inside the apartment all of them shared.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he chanted under his breath, punching his own forehead before he let himself sink onto the toilet lid. He sighed, tears of frustration threatening to fall from his eyes. He was disappointed in himself to a high level. Why wasn't he stronger?
He gasped when he heard the door to their apartment opening, sprinting towards the door of the bathroom to block it. Unfortunately, it wasn't able to lock it so he just sat in front of it and bathed his gloomy self in deep thoughts. His finger occasionally glided over his plump lips when he stared onto the ground into nothing. He still could feel YunHo; his warmth, his taste. Everything. He let his head drop onto his knees. He would never be able to forget this one single touch between their lips.
A sudden knock on the milky glass door ripped him out of his reverie. He frowned.
“Jae? It's me,” YooChun's voice called from behind and a relieved sigh left his trembling lips. His heart could calm down again as well. “Can I come in?” the latter asked and JaeJoong contemplated if he should let him in or not. He decided for the former and slightly shifted away from the door to make space for YooChun.
The brown haired slowly entered and eyed the blond sitting to his feet with worry. Seconds turned to minutes with none of them saying a word. The others had probably already fallen asleep. It was JaeJoong's soft voice that cut through the silence.
“You think I'm stupid, right?” he asked, glancing at YooChun with his teary eyes. The other shook his head whilst thumbing away JaeJoong's spilled tears.
“No. You're in love, that sometimes makes it hard to decide what is wrong and what not,” YooChun responded with a soft smile, which earned him a light chuckle from JaeJoong.
“That basically means you think I am stupid,” the lead singer replied, amused that is. “Thanks,” he mumbled and leaned his head against YooChun's shoulder. He didn't know what he would do if he hadn't such an awesome friend like YooChun.
“That's what soulmates are there for,” YooChun remarked whilst hugging his friend. “Will you use the spare bedroom?” he asked, knowing that JaeJoong would feel better all by himself for a bit. It earned him a soft nod.
“I wouldn't be able to sleep in the same room as him. Not tonight,” JaeJoong replied, slowly getting to his feet to leave for his bed tonight. “I might jump at him if I don't keep away,” he mumbled with a sad smile plastered on his face before he left the bathroom.
He didn't bother to stop by their shared bedroom to get his pyjamas as he wanted to prevent himself from meeting YunHo now. He was weak around him, even more so after their shared kiss. He rounded a corner of their hallway which led him to the spare bedroom and was about to open the door when a sudden noise of soft footsteps startled him. He slowly turned around, gulping as his eyes fell onto the figure standing in the darkness of the hallway.
“Y-yunHo,” he breathed, his voice trembling and eyes widened. The said man stepped into the light that fell through the window next to the room, JaeJoong holding his breath at the way YunHo looked at him and the way he was dressed. Nothing but a pair of boxers and a tight wifebeater. He swallowed, cheeks flushing at the arousing effect the sight had on him.
“Running away from me, are you?” YunHo's voice resounded through the hallway, dark, low and arousing. It sent a shiver down JaeJoong's spine who stepped back as far as he could, his back hitting soon the door of his bedroom for the night. And as things were going, he wouldn't stay there alone. He was unable to move when YunHo came closer, his body moulding against his own in intimate proximity.
“YunHo, don't,” JaeJoong breathed, gasping when YunHo's palm was caressing over his skin underneath his shirt. He shuddered under the soft touch, chest heaving and soft sighs leaving his lips when YunHo nuzzled his neck at the same time.
“You're so addicting. Your scent,” YunHo whispered close to JaeJoong's ear, drawing in the latter's scent which sent a blissful shiver down JaeJoong's spine and drew a soft mewl from his lips. “Your skin. So soft,” he further breathed, kissing, nipping and licking along JaeJoong's jawline and neck which let about every drop of blood rush down into JaeJoong's groin, boiling up the heat inside of him.
“Please,” JaeJoong breathed, his voice just a mere whisper. He was weak, too weak to try harder to resist YunHo. But how could he reject the man he had loved for so long? The only one that really had captured his heart and took it for himself.
“I want you so much,” the light-brown haired slurred, pressing himself impossibly closer to JaeJoong whose hands were resting against his chest, trying to push him away but hesitated. YunHo stared deep into JaeJoong's eyes, tracing his quivering lips with his thumb before he leaned in.
“Yun-” JaeJoong wanted to voice out but his lips were caught in a warm kiss. He couldn't resist, his arms sneaking around YunHo's neck whilst the light-brown haired was opening the door of the bedroom. Their sloppy kiss turned into a battle of their tongues, mewls leaving their lips and hands wandering over their bodies when they stumbled inside.
With the door closing behind them, they shut out the consequences they would have to bear the next morning.
YooChun made his way from the bathroom back into their shared bedroom, only turning on the lights in the hallway to see where he was going. He stopped in the doorway once his eyes fell onto the bed closest to the door, the one that belonged to YunHo. It was empty, the duvet thrown back and lay in the corner of it. YooChun was suspecting the worst.
“ChangMin, where's YunHo?” he asked the tallest when he registered that JunSu was fast asleep. The young boy rose his head from the pillow, drunken with sleep as he gazed at the empty bed.
“Dunno, he was still there a minute ago,” he slurred, his heavy head falling back onto the pillow when YooChun stormed towards the spare bedroom JaeJoong was staying in. 'Oh please, tell me he didn't get weak,' he chanted, taking a deep breath when he reached the said room but his blood froze when he came close to the door. He could hear the bed from inside groaning under the weight of two people, deep and heavy breaths reaching his ears. It were the moans though that confirmed his assumption to be right.
“Ungh, YunHo,” he heard JaeJoong's breathy, deep voice, followed by a groan deeper than JaeJoong's. It had to be YunHo's.
'Shit, JaeJoong,' he thought when he walked back into the bedroom. He knew the latter would regret it, but what could he do against such a strong love?