Chapter Text
Trees are flying by in the window. The blur of the cityline seems almost poetic. Everything seems to be melting into almost one large mass of color as Taehyung is leaving his hometown behind. The trip to Seoul feels shorter each time he goes to Daegu and he can't help but think it's because of what he leaves behind in Seoul.
Nothing has been easy for him since he decided to move to Seoul but how can he be anything but grateful for being able to live the life he has wished for alongside the people he loves most. His band-mates had becomes his best friends, his family. Being away from the city always allowed him to clear his head, giving him a fresh start to the new adventures he would undergo with the rest of bangtan in the upcoming weeks. The coursing scenery rushing past his window only reminds him of the speed by which his life is rushing past him. Over the past few years, Taehyung had to learn how to lower his head and push forward towards his destination, but sometimes it felt like he couldn’t even stop and appreciate what was around him. Taehyung was jolted out of his thoughts when his phone suddenly rang:
He hadn’t even gotten the chance to say hello when he heard Namjoon’s desperate voice, "Hey Taehyungah, are you already on your way home? Yoongi locked himself in his studio again. We haven't seen him for 2 days."
Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh at how dramatic the rest of the members got when Yoongi went into his producing binges but he figured he should reassure Namjoon, "Yes hyung, I'll be home soon with supplies."
"Thanks Tae, I don't know what to do anymore."
"No worries, I've got years of experience" he giggles into the phone.
Taehyung knows how difficult it is to deal with Yoongi when he's in one of his producing binges, he's been dealing with it for over a decade now. He does hold the advantage over the rest of the boys however, in that Yoongi won't kill him for breaking into his studio to get him out. He likes to pretend he’s tough around everybody but Tae knows how much he cares about all of the members at the end of the day.
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Taehyung makes his way over to the studio with emergency supplies at the ready. He can already tell he’s going to be in for a rough time.
As he walks back up to the studio he can't help but look up in amazement at their new building. They've really come a long way since their debut and he smiles at the thought of their hard work finally paying off.
Tae slips off his face mask and ducks into the elevator to go up to the Genius Lab. There is always a chance someone will recognize him when he’s around the shops so he tries to keep as low a profile as he possibly can. As he's about to put the passcode into the door of their studios' floor someone jerks open the door and pulls him inside.
"TAEHYUNGAH. What took you so long?" says Namjoon desperately.
"I had to walk here from the store? What's wrong? It's not like this is the first time he's done this hyung. Stop being dramatic," Taehyung says rolling his eyes.
Taehyung watches as Namjoon is pacing back and forth. He can almost hear the cogs in his head turning as he’s trying to think about something. This was too much, even for Namjoon, there had to be something else that’s bothering him.
Taehyung can’t take the suspense anymore so he asks him directly, “Okay, what’s going on? I feel like I missed something.”
Namjoon turns and faces Taehyung doubting whether or not he should tell him. Finally he decides he should, "He's been avoiding calls from Aera for a week Taehyung. She's been calling all of us to ask if he's okay because she's worried. I don't know what to tell her. I just got off the phone with her again. I can't deal with talking them both down, especially when I don't know what's happening." he lets out with a loud sigh.
Taehyung stares at him in disbelief and breathes out an almost silent "oh".
This is the first time he's ever seen Yoongi closing himself off from Aera. He at least bothers to let her know when he'll be on hiatus to write a new song. There's a looming feeling of panic that begins creeping over him.
"What if he won't even let me in..." Taehyung mutters.
"Then I don't know what to do... I haven't seen him this bad since you guys got into a fight during our trainee days." says Namjoon running his fingers through his hair.
"I'll talk to him. Stop worrying. Just try and keep Aera calm and away from here in case it makes it worse hyung." he says as he walks towards the Genius Lab.
"No promises..." he can barely hear Namjoon say as he walks down the hall.
"Hyung?" he says into the glass door of his studio.
No response.
"Yoongi hyung, open the door."
Nothing.
'Maybe he has his headphones on... I guess I could just let myself in.' Taehyung thinks as he begins to key his passcode into the door.
"Go away." he finally hears from inside.
"No, I'm coming in Yoongi." he says as he tries to open the door.
"I don't want to see anyone, including you Taehyung-ah. Leave me alone."
Taehyung tries to open the door but Yoongi had locked himself in from the inside.
"Are you sure about that? I brought beer and lamb skewers... Your favorite... Aren't you hungry?" he says in the sing-song voice he knows Yoongi is weak for.
There's a short silence before finally Yoongi clears his throat and says "Fine, but only because I don't like to waste food," as he opens the door.
Taehyung is met with a haggard Yoongi. He looks like he hasn't slept or showered in days. He's sitting in a dark studio with just the computer light on his face and a notebook in front of him.
"Sit down," he commands in his usual demeanor.
"It smells like something died in here hyung. When was the last time you saw the outside light?" Taehyung laughs playfully slapping his shoulder trying to brighten the mood.
"A week ago," Yoongi states as he stares at the blank computer screen.
"Yoongi hyung... What happened? Why are you avoiding Aera? Talk to me... I don't want to see you like this." Taehyung says softly towards his friend. He hates seeing him suffering in silence like this.
Yoongi has the habit of suffering silently and not letting anyone know what's happening until months later when they’re discussing the lyrics he's written. Lyrics are his own way of letting all of his pain and pent up emotions out. Music has always been his life and his way of communication to the world, but Taehyung has always tried to be there in case music wasn't enough.
Yoongi turns to look at him and sees his worried eyes. It's hard for him to lie when he's looking into his eyes. Taehyung’s known him for so long and can see right through his mask of complacency.
"I'm going to propose to Aera," he states matter-of-factly.
Taehyung was expecting anything at all in the world except for that. He feels his heart lurch into his throat as silence surrounds them. He can feel his staggering heartbeat pounding away, telling him what he refuses to admit to himself, but he's supposed to be happy for his best friend right? Yoongi's happy so he has to be happy for him... Right? Then why did it suddenly feel like someone pulled a rug out from underneath him. Deep, deep down he knew choosing to stay by Yoongi’s side would eventually hurt him but he had made his choice, and he was going to have to live with it.
Taehyung got lost in his train of thoughts until Yoongi started waving his hands in front of his face, "Earth to Taehyung-ah?" he said.
‘Oh right’ he thought, remembering where he was. He'd have to deal with his own emotions later. Right now it was Yoongi's turn.
He needs to be happy for him because this is everything he's ever wanted. Since they were little Yoongi had always dreamed about being a good father and a good husband. But... If Aera makes Yoongi happy, why does he seem so upset about proposing?
Taehyung's mind is running at a million miles an hour. All he can think about is the fact that Yoongi seems so miserable, but he doesn't want to push him.
"Tae?" Yoongi says as waving his hand in front of his face once more.
"Oh. Right. Yeah. So... uh... You're going to propose so you're avoiding her?" he finally manages to mutter.
"Yes and no," he says as he shakes his head.
"What I meant to say is, I want to propose... I want her to be mine but... something is holding me back. What if she likes Suga more than Yoongi? What happens if I ever stop being Suga... Will she stop loving me?" he says dropping his face into his hands.
Taehyung realizes how conflicted Yoongi must have been feeling in his own mind and he walks over to Yoongi and places his hands gently on his shoulders.
"Yoongi, I don't think she just likes Suga. She's dating YOU isn't she? Don't you think if she was dating you because you're 'Suga' she would've gone public with the relationship. Aera agreed to date you privately. She can't even post a picture on her SNS with you because you asked her not to. Has she ever given you a reason to believe she doesn't love you?" he says as he pats his back trying to calm him down.
"No... But when we met she knew me as Suga... How can I be sure I'm not dedicating my life to someone who loves the celebrity and not the real me. You know me Taehyung... You know everything about me... Do you honestly think anybody could ever love someone like me?"
Taehyung feels his shoulders drop as he breathes this last sentence. He can feel his pain and all he wants is to make it stop.
"Yoongi look at me," Taehyung says as he tries to turn Yoongi’s chair around.
"Yoongi... Please. For me." Taehyung breathes as he finally looks up at him with tears in his eyes.
"I can't Taehyung. I can't look you in the eyes like this," Yoongi says as he tries to turn away.
Taehyung pulls him into a hug, "I want you to listen to me and listen to me very closely Min Yoongi. You are amazing. You are one of the most generous, loving, and kind people that I have ever met. Actually no Yoongi, you are THE most generous and loving and kind person I have ever met. You have no idea how amazing you are Yoongi. You deserve someone who loves you and who will treat you with the same kindness that you treat them. I want you to understand how much you are worth and that any person in this entire world would be lucky to have you. Please don't say no one would ever love you hyung. I love you so much and I know Aera does too."
Yoongi tenses at Taehyung's words.
"You... love me?" he says as he pulls away searching Taehyung’s face.
"Y- Yes hyung, o-of course I do. You've been my best friend for how long? Like you said, I know you better than anyone," Taehyung blurts out trying to cover for his slip-up.
Taehyung can't tell him how he truly feels, it will only ruin their friendship. 'Snap out of it' he thinks to himself as he tries to regain his composure.
"Oh..." he says and turns away from Taehyung.
The room is so silent you can hear a pin drop.
Suddenly Taehyung stands up and starts heading towards the door, "Hyung, want to go for a walk?"
"S-Sure" Yoongi says as he's broken out of his thoughts.
Yoongi walks over to where Taehyung is standing and Taehyung bumps his shoulder with a smile on his face. It's his own little way of saying, 'Don't worry everything is going to be okay', finally pulling a small smile out of Yoongi.
Yoongi opens the door when all of a sudden the door flies open and Jungkook falls into the studio flat on his face. Jungkook's eyes widen at being found out. The other four boys stand up straight and pretend to be walking down the hallway in the opposite direction.
"You're on your own kid," Seokjin says as he starts speed walking away.
"Jungkook-ah... Were you listening at the door?" Taehyung says, looking down at him with his arms crossed.
"Uh... No?" he says with a smile and quickly picks himself up then runs towards the rest of them yelling "RUN! THEY KNOW!"
Yoongi makes a fist and then Taehyung grabs his hand to calm him down, "Relax Min, your studio door was closed so I doubt they heard anything..."
"It's the principle!" he says, "I'm going to catch him later just wait..." he says with a smirk on his face. He looks down at Taehyung's hand over his and quickly pulls away. He can feel his checks turning a soft rouge color and his heart rate picking up. This had been happening for a few years but since he decided to marry Aera he could feel it getting worse.
"Oh. Right. About that walk. Let's go!" Taehyung blurts out as he heads to the front door, trying to cut the uncomfortable air around them.
Taehyung pulls open the front door when,
"Hello Taehyung, of course you would be with him wouldn’t you..." says Aera with a seething smirk on her face.
The boys all turn towards the door and the room falls absolutely silent.