Chapter Text
Adrien stood outside the therapist office, taking his time to knock on the door. Nathalie had dropped him off and given him a pat on the back as he left the limo. He wore an oversized hoodie and he had tied his hair up under a beanie, his baggy pants folded over his ankles.
He clenched his jaw, trying to overcome the nerves that took over his body. Adrien stood in the empty hallway full of eccentric paintings, staring at the door.
Dr. Evan Dagenais
Slowly, he reached a shakey hand up to the handle and, with a sharp twist, entered the office’s small waiting room.
“A***** Agreste?” Adrien startled at the name.
He looked up to see the receptionist staring at him, she had a bored look to her eyes and a modest choice of clothing. “Uh.. yes, that’s me.”
“Would you please fill out these forms and take a seat on one of the couches,” she gestured round to the many placed about the dull room, “Dr Dagenais will be with you soon.”
Adrien took the clipboard from her, it was fascinating to see how quickly she lost interest in him, it seemed as if he didn’t exist if she couldn’t see him.
He mumbled a thank you and quickly deposited his duffle bag next to the nearest sofa, promptly plonking himself on the seat, he scanned the page; date of birth, parents names, emergency contact- the normal questions.
Returning the pen and forms, Adrien announced that he was finished, which was met with the tiredest glare he had ever received.
“Please take a seat...” she gave him a once over, “mlle.. agreste.”
His heart clenched but he was too scared to correct her, a second thank you and he was back on the sofa, hands clenched in his lap- waiting for the office door to creak open.
When the time eventually came and Adrien was called in, he was scared beyond comprehension.
Quickly wiping his clammy hands on his pants, he grabbed his bag strap and followed the therapist into his tiny office,
“Good afternoon, A*****-“
Adrien cut him off, “I- I would prefer to be called Adrien... if you wouldn’t mind..” his eyes trailed to the floor, following the carpets pattern.
“Okay,” the man sighed, “Adrien, today I will be asking you a few questions and getting a gage on your position, as requested by your father, if I see it fit after a few more visits, I will be able to diagnose you with gender dysphoria and you can start your treatments and, in the future, you could have access to a top surgery, if that is in fact what you are looking for.” He heard a few shuffles as Dr. Dagenais rearranged his desk.
Adrien took a shaky breath and tried to ready himself for the long session that he was in for. He slowly raised his eyes to meet the man before him.
“Let’s start when you’re ready.” He reclined ever so slightly, “Are you ready... Adrien?”
“I-“ he swallowed and tried to suffocate his nerves- to no prevail.
“Yes. I- I’m ready.”
~~~~~~~~<88>~~~~~~~~
It had been a year since Adrien started T, five months since he had his name officially changed and 2 hours since he was officially confirmed a boy on his ID card. Adrien was still giddy, staring at his card as he sat at the dinner table. His food remained untouched, he was waiting for his father to come downstairs, he had been unusually close since Adrien had come out and he wanted to share his celebration dinner with him. He waited.
And he waited..
And he waited.
He ended up eating dinner alone, and his fathers plates were cleared off the table. Rushing to his room, Adrien quickly locked himself inside not listening to Nathalie’s questions about desert, or extra food. Was he going to work out tonight? Was he going into the cinema? Did she need to leave any room unlocked before she left? He didn’t answer.
Instead he sat down and tried to keep his cool.
He had been homeschooled the past year after having to drop out of his old all-girls school. The private school was so reclusive and he was honestly glad to be rid of it. After rumours spread about Adrien there had been an uproar. Only a few friends knew he liked girls, he never told anyone about anything else.
But that was all they had to know.
Children became disgusted, hiding themselves and snarling in the change rooms. One even threw her drink on him and played it off as an accident, everyone had believed her.
Nobody wanted to talk to Adrien, he could see his friends hesitate, but one by one, they all left him alone. Isolated by everyone.
And then the mothers and fathers came in yelling things about how he was ‘perverted’ and that he shouldn’t be allowed to attend, what if he did something to their precious daughters? What if he had already?
And then the death threats came in the mail.
And it all piled up...
Until he couldn’t take it.
He refused to leave the shared room, only coming out for lessons or for a quick snack, ultimately staying away from everyone before they tried to stay away from him.
When he told his parents how he felt, how he knew he liked girls, but he didn’t think it ended there...
What if... what if he wasn’t a girl? If he was one, shouldn’t he like his boobs? Shouldn’t he be happy when someone compliments his hair? And how pretty he is? And how he’ll grow up to be a ‘fine young woman’?
But he didn’t feel it, he smiled as much as he could when these came, even though when they said ‘she’ or ‘her’ it felt like they were digging a knife into his heart or when they stuffed compliment after compliment-
‘Oh you look great today!’
‘You’re really starting to look like a lady!’
‘You should smile more, you look beautiful when you smile!’
‘Why aren’t you smiling? I said you looked pretty?’
‘Are you okay, you look sad?’
‘Why do you always look sad nowadays?’
‘Stop frowning, it doesn’t look good on you.’
‘Did you hear about A*****?’
‘I heard she likes girls!’
‘I heard her family is horrible, it’s probably just a cry for attention.’
‘Maybe listen to he-‘
‘What if she looks at me while I’m changing!’
‘Ugh, shes such a pervert, she just looked at me!’
‘Stop, this isn’t right, do-‘
‘Did you hear about A*****'s mum?’
‘I heard she died!’
‘Freak accident!’
‘I heard she was shot!’
‘It was a car accident you idiot!’
‘Maybe her father did it!’
‘Do you really think so?’
‘No don’t spread lies.’
‘Maybe we should ask her, she would know, it is her family after all!’
‘Did you hear?’
‘Apparently A***** claims she’s a guy!’
‘You shouldn’t say that.’
‘But it’s true! And her father is playing into her delusions.’
‘Did you notice?’
‘She doesn’t come to class anymore?’
‘Her beds empty?’
‘She dropped out.’
‘She.’
‘She.’
‘A*****.’
‘Her.’
‘The lier.’
‘The fake.’
‘The lesbian.’
‘The dropout.’
‘The almost orphan.’
He was glad he was done with the school. One year and no one had approached him. No one had scolded him (other than Nathalie, especially when he tried to clean his own clothes and turned them all red) no one called him anything. No one hurt him.
Homeschooled for one year, one more and he might be ready to spring the idea of public education.
“Adrien! Time to sleep. I’m going home now, if you need anything I’m just a phone call away!” He heard footsteps as Nathalie retreated down the hallway, before a few frenzied clicks brought her back to his door. “Don’t forget to take off your binder, Adrien! It would hurt you overnight! Okay!?”
Nathalie stayed, he could see her shadow under the doorway.
“Okay.” He called out over his shoulder before shoving his head back into his pillow, gripping it tightly.
“Okay, good!” She stepped back from the door. “See you tomorrow Adrien!” After a few minutes he couldn’t hear her high heels clipping bouncing around the empty house. And a then a loud bang as the front door quickly shut. And he was alone,
Well, as good as alone, with the way his father was acting.
~~~~~~~~<88>~~~~~~~~
A short knock hurried Adrien out of bed and to his door, opening it quickly he expected to see Nathalie or a maid, but there stood his father. White hair puffy and curly after his shower, his glasses twiddling in his hands, he looked nervous.
“I- uh, I’m sorry I missed dinner, I didn’t mean to.” Gabriel was still as a statue as he looked at his son. “I know this was a big day for you, I got too wrapped up in my designs... sorry.”
Adrien couldn’t help but be shocked, all his life, he hadn’t heard him apologise. Before his mum died, he was always correcting him. Sit up straight, don’t slouch. Don’t touch your hair so much, stop fiddling, no elbows on the dinner table!
That happened a lot less now.
“I- I really did mean to come down and eat dinner with you...” Adrien stared at him, he really couldn’t help it. “I... I wanted to give you this. Happy ‘officially-a-boy-on-your-ID-card’ day.”
Gabriel pulled a big-ish rectangular box from the floor on the other side of Adrien’s bedroom wall and handed it to him, before walking off quickly towards the other end of the hall, turning the corner, and disappearing.
Adrien turned the box once in his hands, it was long and slender, a blue ribbon was tied around the black cardboard. It looked like one made to hold clothing.
Adrien placed it on his desk, he would open it tomorrow, for now, he would sleep.
God knows he needed rest.
~~~~~~~~<88>~~~~~~~~
Two years of homeschooling and today was the day. Today he was going to go public. His dad had already reintroduced him to everyone at the company, even made him a model. It was awkward and time consuming but he got paid for it and he liked everyone he worked with- for the most part, Chloé was even allowed to sit in on a few of his shoots. She had been there by him throughout the transition, she had even helped him prepare for today. This was the most nervous he had ever been.
Slipping out of bed, Adrien grabbed his phone, he already had a few notifications, mostly messages from Chloé;
C: heyyyy Adrien! Are you up yet?
C: ...
C: Adriennnnnn?
C: Don’t be late for school! See you there!
C: you’ll be in my class btw, mr Damocles will show you the way.
C: how are late on your first day?
He looked at the time 8:45, he was already 15 minutes late!
Adrien wriggled into his binder and rushed to his closet, grabbing a plain black tee, jeans, sneakers and last of all, the white jacket his father had gifted him, pulling it on for the hundredth time that month. Adrien grabbed the bag that Chloé helped him prepare, and rushed out of his bedroom. He snuck past the dining room, hoping that Nathalie wouldn’t hear him and tip-toed past his fathers closed office door. Carefully opening and closing the front door and slipping past the gate at the end of the driveway, Adrien burst into a sprint in the direction of Collège Françoise Dupont.
It took him a few minutes but there he was, panting at the bottom of the steps of his new school.
He checked the time, 9:08am, he hoped he wasn’t missing anything important.
Hesitantly, he took some careful steps towards his new school.
“Adrien.” He groaned, he knew that voice well. Dictating his every move- no- spreading loving messages from his father that he had barely gotten in person the past few months multiple times having to communicate through an iPad that Nathalie oh so diligently carried everywhere.
He swivelled around, meeting her stern eyes, oh and look, the iPad was clasped ever-so-tightly in her hands.
“Adrien, stop right there! Please reconsider, you know your fathers wishes!” Her brows were knitted together in her ever present frown, even as the gorilla, his bodyguard, came to stand next to her.
“Nathalie, plea-“ Adrien stopped, noticing for the first time an old man who had tripped near the base of the stairs, his cane a meter ahead of him. Giving Nathalie a glance, Adrien rushed down the stairs, helping him onto his feet and handing the man his cane.
“Thank you, young man. Thank you very much.” He rasped, giving Adrien a pat on the shoulder and continuing to shuffle his way down the path.
Adrien looked back to Nathalie, finding her and the gorilla at the bottom of the stairs... blocking his way. He wouldn’t be able to get past them, he knew that.
Adrien cast a longing glance at the college, “Fine. I’ll come home. Please don’t tell father about this.”
“I’m sorry Adrien, you know it is my job to report back to M. Agreste.”
“I understand.”
Adrien let them lead him back to the car, sliding into the leather seat waiting for him.
Dragging his phone out of his pocket, he sent a quick message to Chloé.
A: Sorry Chloé, maybe next year? :( <3
She messaged him back instantaneously, was she always on her phone???
C: maybe. don’t be sorry, someday I’ll be able to convince daddy to adopt you... hopefully.
C: until then you’ll be your fathers prisoner. <3
C: see you friday?
A: of course.
He smiled, their monthly movie day/night (depending if it was during the holidays or not) fell on that Friday, a break from the stress, no photo shoots, no prior engagements (save movie night) and no parents, he planned them in his free time coming up with new themes or settings.
Adrien could always look forward to movie night, no matter how miserable his life was...