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Sehun was just doing his job. After all, what is the maknae's purpose except to make sure the leader is taken care of? Why else would he have gone to Junmyeon's bed in the first place? And yes, maybe he goes back more than he should, but they’re both new at this and Junmyeon never complains or turns him away.
Maybe after a while he starts to like how tender Junmyeon is with him, kisses that melt away the day and the way his leader always lets him have the shower first now. And maybe, after a few weeks, he starts to like the taste of Junmyeon on his tongue and wants more than just blowjobs, wants to feel his leader on and around him.
And maybe he gets just buzzed enough one night to fake drunkenness and admit all this to Suho and maybe it was endearing the way the older man's eyes went wide and the way his voice cracked when he whispered Sehun's name. Maybe Sehun holds onto that moment for all the days they were in China and Junmyeon was busy with the Kris situation and Sehun had struggled to find privacy.
They get back to Korea and suddenly Suho was his again and maybe there was a text message that Sehun remembers word for word. Maybe it told him to come and Sehun went and Junmyeon's lips were so pink around his cock and then his lips were gone and it was slick hands and then it was his leader on top of him, pressing him into the mattress and maybe Sehun had to bite his lip not to cry out. And then Junmyeon leaned in, riding him achingly slow, and whispered something beautiful and maybe Sehun let go because it all felt so good. He could have sworn that he fell asleep wrapped up in Junmyeon, but maybe it was a dream because in the morning he is alone and Junmyeon is already up going over the schedule with Kyungsoo and Jongin at the breakfast table and when Chen comes to join them, he's practically sitting in Junmyeon's lap and what are they laughing about anyway?
Maybe he is jealous... So maybe he sleeps with Luhan again because he knows Luhan is a terrible gossip but maybe it hurts a little when he goes to Suho the night after and sure, Junmyeon lets him come home but there is no heat and his leader falls asleep facing the wall.
Maybe he grabs Junmyeon’s hand the next morning, as the older man tries to slip past him and maybe Sehun says he's sorry, though really what should he be sorry about isn't Suho fucking Chen on the side and maybe Kris too before he left us all and whenever Kyungsoo’s darkness shows, doesn't Kai come to the leader’s bed too? Maybe Junmyeon's eyes are tired, but Sehun swears he saw sadness in them too and he says nothing at first and maybe that is the worst moment of Sehun's pathetic excuse for a love life, but Suho's pink lips part and Sehun just may have hung on every word. It was only you, his leader says, there was only you but it has to end because Junmyeon can't do this. And then he's alone in the leader's bed, Junmyeon's warm bed where everything sort of makes sense, but also was impossible.
And maybe while Sehun was out today, he bought a bracelet like the ones Baekhyun bought with Taeyeon and maybe he's been thinking about words all day and ways to say it. Because there is definitely something to say and there has to be a way to put that into words that don’t make him sound desperate and ridiculous. And maybe that’s why Sehun is sitting here right now with his face in his hands, not even half able to enjoy this stupid movie because everything reminds him of Junmyeon…
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“But, like I said, the entire situation is very hypothetical. It’s like maybe none of that ever happened.”
“Well, hypothetical you just ruined a perfectly good movie by being a whiny bitch,” Tao sighs, throwing his handful of popcorn back into the bowl and reaching for the remote to turn off the television.
“You might actually be the worst best friend a person could have,” Sehun replies, rubbing his eyes in disbelief. “I just don’t know what to do.”
Tao dramatically rolls his eyes, grabbing Sehun’s hands and holding him still, “You stop hypothetically caring about Chen or Kris or Kai or anyone else you incorrectly think touched your precious hyung in the past and you just ask him to a movie. You take him to see that new Transformers movie, but he would like that. Then you give him your hypothetical bracelet during the credits, you know before the lights come up so no one sees you? He’ll know what it is because he isn’t stupid and then you’ll come home and you’ll probably have sex with him. I mean, hypothetical sex. Whatever. And maybe in the morning, you tell him your little sob story, followed by round two if you’re feeling up for it. And that’s it. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t. But at least you won’t be sitting here on a Friday night making me miserable.”
“You might actually be the worst best friend a person could have.”
“You would be so lost without me.”