Chapter Text
All he'd done was try and help, saw an opportunity to get into his dads good books. Trying to be a good big brother and son by looking after Louise when Keanu was MIA. Trying to prove to Lola he could Do it, and to prove to himself he really did care.
But Phil had turned up at the hospital and sent him away. Now here he was, swigging the beer, leaning up against the market stall watching the parlour door. He knew he'd asked him to stay away but Ben needed to see him. As a friend.
'Callum...' he saw him locking up the parlour and couldn't stop himself saying his name. He saw Callum stop for a second but then turn around and look at him.
'Yes?' He sounded weary and tired, but Ben needed to talk.
'Got time for a pint? On me?'
'I thought I made myself clear last week to leave me alone.'
'Please?' There was a hint of rawness in Ben's voice and it shocked Callum to hear him like that, so he nodded wearily before hastily sending a text to Whitney and following Ben.
Ben chose the table in the corner of E20, needing to be away from the music.
'Thank you. For coming with me'
'You sound... You sounded different'
'Hard day'
'Do you want to talk about it?'
'Just I'm so sick of trying with my dad. Nothing I ever do is enough. Cast out from the Mitchell family'
'What's happened?'
'He's moving Keanu in. Keanu is everything he wants in a son. Hard man, mechanic, straight. Everything I'm not and will never be'
'I think your a hard man Ben. You've scared me before'
'Well that's just bravado. You see the real me.'
'I saw the real you. That night in the park'
'Oh, so what happend wasn't a figment of my imagination?'
'Ben....'
'Hey, you brought it up. I'm just here cause I need a friend. And that's you'
'Right, just mates. Fine with me'
'I just... am sick of pretending to be something I'm not. With you, I can be me. You get me. But when I try and help my sister, my dad sends me away with a flea in my ear'
'My dad is so hard to please. All he's ever done is drill in to both me and Stuart how we should be men, but he's never taught us how to be men. God knows that's why Stuart is like he is. Our dad... the wife beater.'
'Sorry, I had no idea'
'Why would you?'
'So, you don't get on?'
'I just always never do the right thing. He wants us to be men, have a wife and kids. Do our duty for queen and country. He wants us to be perfect. And like you, I am tired of trying to be perfect'
Ben reaches out and puts his hand on Callums arm who jerks away and folds his arms under the table.
'Being perfect is overrated anyway' Ben chips in, determined not to show his disappointment, and he is rewarded with a small smile.
'Too right. You're right you know'
'About what?'
'You getting me. I get you and you get me. You're not a bad bloke Ben Mitchell. I wish I could be more like you sometimes, confident in who you are'
'You wouldn't want to be me. The confidence you see is an act. But confidence in who you are... that will come in time I.promise you. You can't just rush it. Just give into it and let it happen'
Callum smiled and reached under the table for Ben's hand before squeezing it. He smiled sadly and then got up to use the gents. Ben sat there for a minute, letting the warmth radiate from where it started, his hands.
Suddenly, they both didn't feel quite so lonely anymore.