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Peter is waiting for Mr. Stark to get bored.
They started dating just four weeks ago on Peter’s seventeenth birthday where Peter vividly remembered him and Tony spending the night together after Peter’s short party with Ned, MJ and Aunt May. That party had been full of convenience store cake, and apple cider drinks, and balloons and confetti, and brimming happiness, and teases that he was finally legal and maybe he could do something about his hero worship slash big crush on his mentor-
“Definitely not, MJ! Not happening!” Peter squaked indignantly, but Aunt May just laughed it off, telling Peter it had been very obvious, and even though she didn’t really like Tony Stark, she couldn’t really change the fact that he made the boy happier nowadays.
“Thanks, May.” He whispered to May when Ned and MJ got distracted over the new Lego set that Tony gifted him, feeling his chest tightening pleasantly when May merely smiled fondly and kissed his forehead.
But it was enough for Peter.
So despite him denying it earlier, he still hastily got into his suit when the lights went out and when Aunt May retreated in her own room after bidding Ned and MJ goodbye and thanking them for coming, and he swung outside his window a little too faster than usual.
Mr. Stark was already waiting for him when he arrived at the penthouse.
“Hey there, kid.” Mr. Stark greeted him, a teasing but friendly edge on his tone when Peter took off his mask; he knew his grin was lopsided, and his face was flushing up again, and his heart was pounding like he just ran a marathon but Mr. Stark didn’t notice any of them. Well, Peter hoped.
Peter didn’t say anything, and Mr. Stark quickly got the memo to get the night going.
Nothing sexual, very innocent actually.
Instead of their planned movie marathon, they decided to just sit back and talk, basking in each other’s company.
Maybe Peter could’ve had a different ending to his night, maybe something louder and more exciting like most teenagers do but he found himself not wanting anything other than this. He wouldn’t change a single thing.
“What do you want for your birthday, Underoos?” Mr. Stark asked him after he stopped rambling about the new Web Fluid formula he created during his free time.
“You already gave me the Lego set, Mr. Stark!” Peter told him incredulously because what? There’s no such thing as double presents- but Mr. Stark just threw his head back and let out a hearty, genuine laugh that vibrated throughout his body, and Peter quickly realized in embarrassment that he said that out loud.
“N-No, seriously, Mr. Stark! That gift was enough, and I’m so grateful! It was one of the limited editions, and if you didn’t get it for me, Ned and I would’ve tore our hair out to get it.” Peter squeaked out in a lame attempt to save himself, but it made him sound more awkward instead. His face was already burning, and he hoped he didn’t look too red because that would’ve been a dead giveaway.
“Well, as the saying goes, there’s a first time in everything, right? So, just tell me what you want,” Mr. Stark brought a hand up before Peter could protest, “Think of something, will you?”
Peter ended up just staring for a couple of minutes, unable to think of anything else but one thing.
“Come on, kid. Hurry up, it’s almost midnight then it wouldn’t be your birthday anymore which would cancel out the fun. Just tell me what you want. Anything is fine. Like, what, an upgraded suit? A more improved AI? Perhaps, a free pass in a club if you’re feeling it?” Mr. Stark joked around, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, but Peter wasn’t listening because shit, was he seriously going to do this?Peter had no idea where he got the courage from, but his mouth started moving before he could stop himself.
“Then, I want you.”
“Wait what?” Mr. Stark’s eyes immediately went wide, almost choking on his spit as his frame went rigid in shock.
Peter froze as well.
“I mean- oh my God, I don’t know why I said that. Mr. Stark, I-I’m so sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please don’t think of me differently! It was a mistake! I-I didn’t mean to say that, I swear! I promise that was just a slip of the tongue! I obviously didn’t mean it! I seriously didn’t mean to say it-,” Peter started rambling nervously, but Mr. Stark grunted, effectively shutting him up.
“Wh-Wha-,”
“We really have to talk about your rambling at one point, kid. Also, it’s Tony.” Mr. Stark said distractedly, and Peter stared at him incredulously but then Mr. Stark was inching closer to his face until they were centimeters apart, and Peter did everything not to collapse from embarrassment.
“Also, I did say anything, right?” Mr. Stark- Tony, Peter kept reminding himself- whispered but Peter couldn’t hear anything over the onslaught of thoughts inside his head, and he could only stare at Tony’s lips with poorly-hidden desire.
Kissmekissmekissmeplease-
Maybe it was Peter’s lucky day, because Tony closed the distance and it was so clichè he could just hear sparks and electricity going off, and Peter would’ve normally blamed it on his Spidey senses but Tony groaned against his mouth, and Peter let out a soft, muffled moan before the older man deepened the kiss.
It was messy, wet, and teeth kept clashing against teeth, and maybe there was too much tongue- but it was perfect. This wasn’t Peter’s first kiss, but he wished Tony was going to be his last.
And so, they started dating just like that.
But they haven’t talked about it properly considering Peter was busy with school and Tony was also busy with his work, and Peter realized he probably forced Tony into this because technically it was his second birthday present and this relat- whatever they had was probably not healthy- but… but Peter was selfish.
He was willing to take everything that Tony could offer, and he knew what he was doing was wrong but he stayed silent.
So, he waits for Tony to get bored and call it off himself.
It will come, he just knows it.
What’s wrong?
You’ve been asking but I don’t have an answer
How come?
I’m still thinking, let’s pretend to fall asleep now
When we get old, will we regret this?
Too young to think about all that shit
And stallin’ only goes so far when you’ve got a head start
Six months in, and Tony still didn’t call it off. Of course, Peter thought it was because he was just too kind and he was sure he just didn’t want to break his heart because Peter knew just how important he was to Tony. After Pepper and Tony broke up for unknown reasons just a few months before his birthday, Tony regained his position back as CEO in Stark Industries and Pepper just disappeared, but Peter was there. He stayed but now he just felt like he was taking advantage of Tony.
Peter felt crappy.
And he was also pretty sure Tony knew.
“What’s wrong?” Tony asked him one night when they were laying beside each other after another failed attempt at sex. Peter hated his enhanced senses more than ever; it was helpful when it came to missions or patrols, but it always got in the way when Peter and Tony wanted to get intimate because then it got too overwhelming for Peter.
This was their 6th time of trying.
Tony had already given him so much, and if Peter couldn’t give anything back, then what was the point? If Peter couldn’t offer his body, then this relationship was extremely one-sided. He already forced Tony into this; the least Peter could do was give him pleasure (even though he shamefully wanted this too), but he still fucked it up. All Peter ever did is fuck things up. It was self-deprecating.
“Hey, baby.” Tony whispered, pinching his chin between his index and pointer fingers to make Peter look up at him, and Peter sucked in a breath at the pet name and at the sweet, gentle tone of Tony’s voice.
He couldn’t get used to this, but he wished he could.
Peter realized too late that he started tearing up.
“Pete?” Tony called for him again, this time more alarmed and concerned, and Peter just wanted to cry into his arms because shit-he never meant to keep hurting Tony like this- he was being so manipulative, and Peter realized in horror that he was becoming a monster-
“Peter, please look at me.” He forced himself to stop thinking for a second when he heard Tony pleading, and Peter’s heart hurt when the thought that he was the one who made Tony sound like that sprung up his mind. Shaking his head, he forced himself to focus on Tony more clearly, and Peter choked on his tears when he saw just how crushed the older man looked.
He needed to stop this.
He needed to.
“Shh, it’s okay, we’re okay. I got you.”
But then Tony was pulling him close, and carding his fingers into Peter’s hair as he sobbed quietly against Tony’s chest- and fuckfuckfuck, he wasn’t ready to let go. He wasn’t ready to let this sweet fantasy break and shatter. He wasn’t ready to leave Tony, no matter how selfish he was being.
Peter didn’t deserve to be a hero; he was basically acting like a villain for being this way.
Maybe he was a villain.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Peter whimpered and apologized, and he meant every sorry that came out of his mouth. He was willing to apologize a billion times more, but he knew what he was doing could never be forgiven. After this, Peter knew Tony would never forgive him.
“Talk to me, sweetheart. Don’t be sorry. We’re okay.” Tony whispered so gently it hurt Peter deep inside, and he could only bury himself further into Tony’s chest, shaking and sobbing louder. He didn’t deserve to cry- he didn’t have the right to feel hurt but Tony was wrapping his arms around Peter’s smaller figure and pulling him even closer even though their chests were flush together, and Peter let himself be a wreck one last time.
Peter ended up sleeping just like that, snuggled deep in Tony’s arms, safe and secure.
Peter hated himself but hoped Tony didn’t.
Hoped Tony would let him do this a little longer.
And so, Peter continues waiting.
‘Cause we could stay at home and watch the sunset
But I can’t help from asking, “Are you bored yet?”
And if you’re feeling lonely you should tell me
Before this ends up as another memory
Will you tell the truth so I don’t have to lie?
Will you tell the truth so I don’t have to lie?
Peter woke up before Tony after that disaster of a night. He felt warm, and happy, and sated when he woke up even though they did nothing. Even when sleeping, Tony was handsome. The sunlight just hit his face right, and he looked like an angel- which he was. Everything about him was angelic and attractive: from his long eyelashes, his dark brown eyes, his dark matted hair, even the wrinkles under his eyes, and to his soft, plump pink lips. Peter would’ve leaned in and kissed him awake- forget all his worries and toss all caution in the air- but then everything came crashing down.
Everything he was thinking the night before suddenly overtook his mind again.
He could feel a new wave of tears forming, but Peter roughly wiped them away, angry at himself. What the fuck was his problem? This was all his fault. He shouldn’t cry about it.
“Are you bored yet?” Peter whispered as he turned back to Tony, unable to stop himself.
Are you bored of me yet?
Tony stirred slightly, but didn’t wake up.
Peter sighed before slipping away from his embrace, careful not to disturb him.
He was still waiting but knew it was useless. Tony was just too good for him. He should take matters into his own hands- be the responsible individual for once. He should stop this; he should wake Tony up and apologize, and put an end to this.
But Peter was a coward.
So instead of doing the right thing, Peter immediately dressed up and got into his suit before swinging outside of Tony’s window as fast as he could, ignoring his blurry vision and the stinging in his eyes.
Peter will continue waiting.
Feels like I’ve known you my whole life
I can see right through your lies
I don’t know where we’re going
But I’d like to be by your side
If you could tell me how you’re feeling
Maybe we’d get through this undefeated
Holding in for so long
After that, Peter did everything to avoid Tony. He stopped going to the tower at night all at once, buried himself in schoolwork, and even tried to spend less time in his own apartment. He told Tony that he was busy preparing for exams even though they were months away, and made up a lame excuse of being low in battery every time Tony called his phone. He also gave up patrolling in fear of bumping into Iron Man.
But of course, Tony would catch up.
He always does.
Peter avoided Tony because he was afraid of this, but it still happened. He thought that if he stopped, he’d also avoid the inevitable but he still fucked up in the end.
It was only karma.
And he deserved every single second of it.
Tony practically barged into Peter’s school, searched every nook and cranny for him, ignoring the surprised stares, whispers and camera shutters around him, tabloids be damned because he needed to find Peter. After a solid hour, Tony finally found Peter at the library, sleeping right on top of a book, his hair a bird’s nest. At first, he was just relieved to finally see Peter, that he was fine and safe, but it all quickly turned to irritation.
“Peter.” He muttered in a low growl, aware enough to keep an inside voice, and Peter stirred before slowly opening his eyes.
He yawned and stretched, and Tony still thought it was adorable despite how mad he was- but then Peter’s focus finally zeroed in on Tony, and he gasped loudly, making the librarian nearby shush him up with a pointed glare. Peter wasn’t focused on that, though.
“What have you been doing?!” Tony whispered harshly, gripping Peter’s wrist before he could think of escaping again, only loosening it when Peter winced. His gaze immediately softened when Peter started trembling.
“Shit, Pete, I’m so sorry… I was just so worried-,” He tried to apologize, but then Peter whipped up his head so fast Tony was worried he’d get a whiplash.
“No,” Peter hissed, “Don’t apologize. Don’t do that.”
Tony could only blink, surprised. He never seen Peter this angry, but it didn’t feel like it was directed at him.
It all felt inward.
“Peter, talk to me please. Did I do something wrong?” Tony begged, feeling himself starting to tear up. He had a bad feeling deep inside his gut, and after all these years, he learned that he should always trust his instincts.
“Please.” Peter pleaded back, slipping away from his grasp, and Tony felt like he was punched in the gut at how depressed Peter looked. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, and Tony realized belatedly in horror that Peter had been crying even before he came to his school, and that he was still crying.
“I’m sorry, let’s stop this. I’m sorry, Tony, for everything.” Peter said brokenly, and he ran away, not even waiting for Tony’s response.
Peter is done waiting.
'Cause we could stay at home and watch the sunset
But I can’t help from asking, “Are you bored yet?”
Tony only lasted a week before he was driving towards Peter’s apartment. He previously drowned himself in alcohol- Tony quickly realizing that he hasn’t touched his stash when he was dating Peter, he never found the reason to do so- and then reality just crashed into him so he quickly chugged down whatever bottle he reached first to temporarily forget the pain. Not a good coping mechanism, he knew. After a week of self-depreciation and thankfully, no alcohol poisoning, Tony made up his mind to confront Peter again because he needed an explanation, needed to know what he fucked up.
Despite feeling extremely guilty about it, Tony selfishly didn’t want to let Peter go.
Pepper and Tony- the second most stable relationship he ever had- broke up because Pepper realized Tony had feelings for someone else. She left, saying something like Tony deserved to be happy and she does too, but a broken relationship quickly resulted into a distant friendship, and Tony spiralled into loneliness all over again. Rhodey was regretfully unavailable because he got busy, and Tony never bothered to tell him about the break up until several weeks after, but he didn’t have to. He didn’t have to because Peter had been there, and he healed faster than he expected but he also fucked up just as fast.
Tony couldn’t even count on one hand the number of times he’d think he fucked up something in his life.
But this thing.
His relationship with Peter.
He wanted to work it out.
He was willing to pluck the moon out of the night sky just to work it out.
Hell, if it took to plucking out the arc reactor off his chest just like what Obadiah did to him (well, if he still had it)- he’d do it, because Peter owned every fiber of his being.
That meant both his heart and his arc reactor.
So Tony quickly found himself in front of Peter’s apartment, knocking on the door.
Loud. Brash. Quick. Inconsistent.
Just like how Tony thought of himself.
“Okay, okay, I’m coming! Calm down! Who is it anyway?” He heard May call inside, her voice noticeably down before opening the door, but just as she caught a glimpse of who was outside, she quickly tried to close the door shut but Tony’s quick reflexes stopped it by putting his foot between the frame and the door.
He smothered down a groan in pain.
“Why are you here!?” May hissed just like how Peter sounded a week ago in the library, but this time it was completely directed at him, “You’re the last person I want to see right now! Go away, Stark!”
May tried to close the door again, even stomping down on his foot, but Tony stood his ground despite the sharp pain.
She growled in frustration.
“Please, May!” Tony begged, and May’s eyebrows shot up in shock at how desperate he sounded. Tony Stark never sounded this way in public, but the public obviously didn’t know him enough; they didn’t know the real Tony Stark. Pepper came close, but Peter was the one who loved everything about him. Truly.
“Please let me talk to him May!” Tony shouted again, close to being hysterical, and May shot him a skeptical look but she opened the door nonetheless, her eyes giving away just how exhausted she felt, “I’ve been skipping work for a few days, Tony, and I need to go now if I want to pay for this month’s rent. I don’t know what happened between you two- Peter refused to talk but Tony, Peter’s been crying for a week straight. He’s been missing classes, even meals. I forced him to eat a few times because he wouldn’t touch his food if I don’t do so. He’s miserable, you’re miserable. So please try and sort this out, okay? For me. I know Pete’s stubborn but please… I can’t bear seeing him in pain like this. And you too.”
Tony felt his heart shatter all over again but May stepped back, and he let himself in, glancing at May gratefully.
“I’ll be going now, okay?” May said, and Tony took notice of her work clothes, “Please take care of Peter. I trust you.”
Tony nodded mutely and with that, she left the apartment, her footsteps slowly fading away.
After a few minutes of collecting himself, Tony quietly approached the door to Peter’s room, his stomach feeling queasy, but he still forced himself to rasp gently against the door.
“Pete, you inside?” Tony winced at how his voice sounded.
“M-May?” He expected to have no response but then he heard Peter croak out, his throat sounding dry as if he hasn’t used it in days.
“No, it’s Tony… I’m- I’m coming in, okay?” Tony asked, unsure and hesitant. He didn’t know if Peter wanted to see him.
He heard Peter hum loudly in contemplation- dangerously close to rejection- but then Tony heard a click from the door and he let himself in, his movements slow, and he found himself staring down at the ground. It was quiet for a few moments- the shoe not dropping yet, and Tony gathered all of his scraps of courage to look up.
And quickly wished he hadn’t.
Or maybe he should have sooner.
The shoe dropped.
Because when Tony finally looked up, he finally saw the state Peter was in- and oh God, the boy looked wrecked and not in a good way. His eyes were still red-rimmed and puffy just like before, and his face was blotchy with tear tracks. He was noticeably thinner, and he couldn’t quite stop trembling even as he wrapped his blanket tighter around his figure. His hair was mussed up and it didn’t look as soft as before, and his complexion was so pale akin to a ghost. He looked at Tony with such sadness and grief that he just started thinking-
Was he even happy when we were dating?
Tony walked towards Peter and sat next to him on his bed before he could collapse on his knees, his legs feeling like jelly and his heart pounding painfully against his chest. Tony opened his mouth to say something- to start apologizing for whatever he did to mess things up to the point that Peter had to suffer like this, but Peter beat him to it.
“I’m so sorry.”
And if you’re feeling lonely you should tell me
Before this ends up as another memory
“I’m sorry but what the fuck are you apologizing for?” Tony cursed, laughing humorlessly, and Peter’s frown deepened because Tony looked- he looked just as messed up as Peter, totally different from the happy and free Tony he was envisioning for days as he cried himself to sleep during the night, telling himself he did the right thing to let Tony go and he deserved every heartache.
“M-Mr. Stark-,”
“So, we’re.. we’re back to that, Peter?” Tony whispered, cutting him off, and something in his look and his tone broke Peter’s heart. He did the right thing, right? So why was Tony so sad?
Peter’s eyes widened.
Oh God, what if Peter had hurt Tony more than he thought?
Shit.
The dam brutally broke.
“Mr. Stark! I’m so sorry!” Peter wailed, feeling the waterworks starting up again. He didn’t even know where he was getting the tears when he was dehydrated this much. It was painful; everything hurt. He wanted to just go back in time and never ask for something like this for his birthday present. He wished he could just go back in time to fix everything he messed up, so that Tony could go back to normal. Fuck his feelings. It was always Tony first for Peter.
Tony stared at Peter in horror as he continued crying, reaching out to him to pull him close and to comfort.
“Kid, what, don’t apologize. This is all my fault-,”
“No! Let me apologize because this is all my fault, Mr. Stark! Stop blaming yourself, will you!?” Peter sobbed out, feeling like a child as he violently recoiled away from Tony’s hand. If Tony hugged him right now, Peter knew he wouldn’t be able to let go; he’d already worked himself out trying to let Tony go.
“What are you talking about, Pete?” Tony asked, his eyes flashing with so much hurt Peter just wanted to transfer all those pain to himself.
Tony didn’t deserve this.
He already went through so much.
Peter just cried out loud, the frustration and heartaches bursting out of him. Tony tried pulling him close again, but he scrambled away as much as he could even though the bed was too cramped already. He definitely didn’t deserve any of Tony’s affections and attention now. He never earned them in the first place.
“Peter, talk to me. Why- Why won’t you let me hold you?” Tony choked out, small tears already streaming down his face, “Why won’t you let me help you?”
“I don’t deserve help, Mr. Stark. That’s what you don’t get! I’m a horrible person. You should’ve just gotten bored of me!” Peter sniffed, covering his face with both of his hands, “I should have never done this. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark, you didn’t have to do all this! I know I forced you into it. I knew all along but I just couldn’t help myself… I’m so selfish! I deserve to be in prison-,”
“Hold on, Peter, what are you-,”
“- but I’m sorry, Mr. Stark! I seriously am! I didn’t mean to force you into a relationship you don’t want but I couldn’t help myself on my birthday… I’m so stupid. I probably messed you up, and you’d never forgive me but I understand! I’ll understand if you hate me! I mean, I’d hate me too…”
Peter was momentarily stunned when his hands were put down and he roughly collided against something hard, and he quickly registered that Tony pulled him close against his chest, hugging him tightly like he was afraid Peter might disappear into ashes, and Peter tried to squirm away but Tony held on, his figure vibrating with shaky exhales.
“Kid- fuck where do I even start… I thought I was leading you into a relationship considering I’m 30 years older than you, and I should’ve been the mature adult here. But I knew it was my fault too.”
“Mr. Stark no, stop-,”
“No, please let me finish,” Tony insisted, his tone laced with desperation but it was tinged with pure relief, and Peter was so confused, “Peter, you didn’t force me into this- No, you can never force anyone into something like this. You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever known my whole life. God knows you wouldn’t even hurt a fly. We should’ve talked it out, but I’m bad at communicating- but I’m here now and God, Pete, I love you okay? I’m in love with you even when I was with Pepper- I mean that’s the reason why we broke up. And I’d never get bored of you,”
“Mr. Stark please-,”
“I love you, Peter Benjamin Parker, and you’re crazy for thinking that you forced me into what I’ve wanted for a while.” Tony confessed, and his heart swelled at the way Peter looked at him in innocent wonder after.
“Do you mean it, T-Tony? Everything you said-,”
“Is true and all from the heart.” Tony finished, lips twitching into a fond smile as he wiped the stray tears away from Peter’s cheek, his touch gentle and still a little bit hesitant.
“I.. I don’t know..” Peter whispered, almost inaudible, but he still wrapped his arms around Tony’s neck, pulling them closer until he could feel Peter’s breath fanning against his face. Everything about the younger screamed hope and relief, and Tony didn’t stop the emotional chuckle that reverberated out of his chest as he slipped his arms around Peter’s waist, groaning quietly when Peter rubbed against him.
“Then, let me show you.”
And Tony did that night.
Will you tell the truth so I don’t have to lie?
(Yeah, oh)
Will you tell the truth so I don’t have to lie?
Peter waited for Tony to get bored.
Thankfully, it never came.