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His physiotherapist had said that the position — on his back, with his legs raised in a tabletop position — helped release tension in the lower back. Yoongi thinks it’s usually a good excuse to do nothing. Just watch the ceiling and clear his mind. Truth be told, he’d fallen asleep in the position before. Even here in the studio.
He doesn’t think he could fall asleep right now. The only other member back from the lunch break is Seokjin, but his abdominal workout is louder than usual in the silent studio. He’s on his back, his legs lowered to a forty-five degree angle. He exaggeratedly breathes out through his mouth on each contraction as he reaches his fingers towards his ankles.
Yoongi is about to commend Seokjin on his discipline, when a new person enters the studio. Seokjin immediately seizes the opportunity to roll onto his side with dramatic sounding complaints on his training regimen to the newly arrived member. Yoongi’s praises melt away into a fond smile, and he lifts his head briefly to get a glimpse of who it is who’d joined them.
It’s Taehyung. With his long coat and beret, he hardly looks like the picture of summer.
He shuts his eyes as Taehyung approaches Seokjin. Their soft exchanges are more comforting than the sounds of Seokjin’s punishing abdominal routine, and Yoongi finds that maybe he will slip right into sleep. Which may be problematic, because the plan for the afternoon was nothing more than a long series of repetition and rehearsals today. Yoongi’s grogginess would certainly not help the group avoid hearing the words “just one more time”.
A weight drops onto Yoongi’s stomach and his breath leaves him suddenly. He gasps as he sits up, clutching the bagged package now resting on top of him.
“The hell was that for?”
Taehyung grins as he crouches down. Yoongi watches as his heels pop off the floor. He thinks back to their days as trainees, when a dance teacher had scolded Taehyung for not executing a certain move correctly — for failing to bend his legs deeply enough. The correction had come again and again for weeks on end, until Hoseok had spoken up in class, suggesting that maybe Taehyung just had short Achilles tendons. At that time, Yoongi hadn’t known those two things could be related. But, Taehyung had nearly cried in relief.
Despite how badly he wants to keep playfully glaring at Taehyung, his lips curl back into a fond smile. He thinks one of his favourite aspects of his relationships with the other members will always be their shared history; how easy it is to recall the image of them as hardworking and determined teenagers.
“It’s for you! I got the staff to pick it up for me.”
Taehyung’s smile is equal parts ecstatic and expectant. Seokjin is still curled onto his side, is watching curiously now.
He pulls the package out, unwraps it carefully, ignores how Taehyung looks like he’s about to crawl out of his skin. He recognizes the objects within the cardboard box, but it takes him a moment to process the information.
“But, I thought the staff agreed they’d just pick a series that was under twenty volumes, or would just pick out some books they thought we’d enjoy?”
Yoongi pulls the first volume out delicately. He chances a second glance to confirm the number. It really was the whole collection, all thirty-one volumes.
“I mean, I think they still did? This was my private order!”
They’d recorded for their variety show on the previous day, at the comic book café. Yoongi, maybe, had overacted his excitement at the thought of winning a full series of manhwa. And maybe he’d oversold his disappointment, too, when the staff had given them the caveat once they’d won that they could only choose up to twenty books.
But, he hadn’t faked the happiness he’d felt at picking up the familiar series. Or the joy he’d felt when talking each of the members’ ears off during breaks in shooting about the finest details of Slam Dunk.
“You got these for me? Why?”
Taehyung’s smile is very wide. He doesn’t seem to mind Yoongi’s aloofness or questions. Or maybe, Yoongi thinks to himself, Taehyung could very well see the reverence with which he handled the collection.
“Don’t know. I mean, you looked so happy yesterday. I was really happy to see that. And I love you, so!”
Yoongi swallows. Taehyung hadn’t brought up Yoongi’s excitement for the prize, or his disappointment when the prize hadn’t turned out to be as promised. He’d perfectly captured the moment of genuineness, and singled out Yoongi’s happiness as the sole motivator to give him the present.
From behind Taehyung, Seokjin is laughing loudly.
“Are you serious? Don’t do this to me again!” He changes his focus to Yoongi then, still laughing. “You know he did this to me in Malta, too? Came right in the room, had no present for me, but offered one to Namjoon. Not only was I forgotten, but I looked so bad! I got nothing for Namjoon, because why would I have?”
“Oh, yeah. I think I heard of that. Jungkook, too, right? Taehyung walked right in and gave presents to Jimin, but nothing for him.”
Taehyung stands back up. He looks a little affronted, with his cheeks puffed out.
“I just buy things when I see them and think they suit one of you, or if I know they’ll make you happy!”
With that, Taehyung marches over to the mirrors, sets his things down, starts rummaging in his bag. Yoongi expects he’ll start getting warmed up at any moment now. Yoongi can’t spare a thought for his own warmup, he’s still busy running his fingers over the spines of the books.
“How does that apply here, you weren’t even in the store. You asked someone to get these for you!” Seokjin raises his voice to make sure Taehyung remains focused on their conversation.
Yoongi decides to join Taehyung over by the mirrors, to put the present away. He thinks back on how Taehyung was the first in the group to buy luxurious gifts for other members. Yoongi thinks that, these days, they’ve reached close to a point where they have too much money to spend. Questions about money were always how much should I invest here, and how much should I give away there. Back in the day, that hadn’t really been the case. And Taehyung had still spent his money freely, happy to share what he had with the others.
Taehyung hasn’t changed much, despite the change in his bank account. And maybe this gift in question isn’t quite that expensive. But, it still makes Yoongi feel a certain way. Taehyung had noticed his happy and nostalgic feelings, and had wanted to nurture them.
Seokjin and Taehyung are still stuck in a back-and-forth, but Yoongi slips in a small “thank you” when there’s enough of a pause.
He doesn’t mention it again afterwards.
o — o — o
Taehyung is going on a late-night pharmacy run, and is apparently dropping by each member’s hotel room to take orders or requests. Yoongi hadn’t thought he’d been obvious in trying to trap Taehyung in the doorway, to keep him from entering the room fully. Yet, it’s a matter of seconds before Taehyung is pushing forward.
“What’s going on? Are you hiding someone in here!”
Taehyung’s tone is teasing, but Yoongi still thinks he will be disappointed with the boring décor, and clear lack of mystery companions.
Yoongi is clad in pyjamas, already thoroughly showered, bathed, ready for bed — had been in bed for already some time now. He thinks the room will attest to that. His rehearsal clothes for the following day were already folded on the armchair. A tall glass of water ready on his bedside table. The lamp on that same table the only one left on in the room. And, feeling like a glaringly incriminating piece of evidence, the sixth volume of Slam Dunk sat by his pillow, where he’d left it in a rush to get to the door.
“Nope, as you can see. Just a quiet night in. I was already in bed. Which is why it isn’t made. So, if that’s all…”
Yoongi’s palms feel sweaty. He’s not sure why he’s so thoroughly embarrassed to be seen making use of Taehyung’s gift. He’d packed some of his new collection for this first leg of the tour. But, it had quickly become apparent that he should have packed the entire collection. So, he’s been trying to take it slow. Only ever reads the manhwa right before bed. Reads the passages he enjoys most over and over before moving on. Tries to let himself sink into a thoroughly nostalgic state of mind and to recall his life at the time he’d first read this or that scene of the story.
He loves indulging himself in things and pieces that had meant a lot to him when growing up. This is one of those.
Of course, Taehyung picks the book up.
“Oh! So, you liked them?” Taehyung asks, all smiles and happy eyes.
Yoongi pries the book out of Taehyung’s grip gently and settles it back down on the pillow. Even though the exchange might be embarrassing, he’s still planning on returning to the story once Taehyung leaves his room.
“Don’t sound so surprised. You already knew I loved them, that’s why you got them for me.”
Taehyung shakes his head. He looks so happy, it’s hard for Yoongi to really keep looking right at him.
“Sure, but you brought them on the tour. And you’re reading them before bed. While curled up in bed, too! I didn’t know… You know, you’ve read them before. I thought maybe they’d collect dust, but you’d smile when you see them. I like this a lot more.”
Yoongi shrugs his shoulders, feels a little awkward.
“It’s nice. Feels like I’m a teenager again. Helps me fall asleep well and have nice dreams.”
He clears his throat then, feels those comments have somehow charged the air with even more awkwardness.
Instead of answering him, Taehyung hugs him. It’s near impossible to reciprocate the gesture, because Taehyung has wrapped his arms so tightly around him, that he’s effectively glued Yoongi’s arms to his sides. But, Yoongi still rests his chin softly onto Taehyung’s shoulder when he feels Taehyung do the same. It’s comfortable. It’s the same sort of energetic, all out hug that Taehyung gave as a teenager, too. Yoongi finds himself, yet again, cherishing that nostalgic sensation, letting himself grow more relaxed with the thoughts of their older days.
“I do have to get to the pharmacy. For my throat, you know? But, thank you for taking such care of the gift.”
Taehyung rubs his shoulder affectionately as he pulls back.
Yoongi still feels a little embarrassed, but the sensation is almost dull when compared to how much he appreciates the dreamy expression on Taehyung’s face.
“Only you would find a way to thank someone for accepting a gift from you.”
Taehyung shrugs lightly, leaves the room in an almost upbeat manner.
Yoongi can’t quite stop smiling as he reads a few more pages before bed. It has little to do with the story unfolding on the pages.
o — o — o
Everyone’s busy reviewing their scripts as the cameras are rearranged. Yoongi thinks filming a mini-drama will be heaps of work just for the sake of an episode of broadcast. Although, he’s estimating there’ll be enough footage for at least three episodes.
“Some of this script is a little too realistic, no?” Jungkook comments lightly. “Feeling a little called out by this fridge scene.”
“Taehyung’s solo scene sounds just like him, too. There’s so much in my room that I have only just because he got it for me,” Hoseok agrees quickly.
Yoongi looks over at Taehyung, who’s now laughing bashfully. Jimin leans close to him to whisper something, but Yoongi’s focus is back on the script. He flips to Taehyung’s scene, where his character monologues on the subject of which object he should give to which member.
Yoongi thinks of the Slam Dunk volumes he’d stored away in his luggage for Japan, the upcoming leg of the tour. He’d thought he could save them for travelling, settle for other reading exclusively when at home in Korea. But, he’d quickly caved and fished one of the books out, only to read a page or two before sleep.
He means it when he says, “Taehyung is our little gift fairy.”
It’s not clear if it’s the nickname that gets Taehyung to blush so prettily, or the way all other members are quick to pile on to Yoongi’s spontaneous term of endearment.
Jimin coos at Taehyung as he curls his fingers over the squirming boy’s ribs.
“Are you stealing my fairy title, Taehyung?” he asks him teasingly.
“Yeah, but he’s a fairy who plays favourites,” Seokjin adds.
Yoongi knows Seokjin is teasing, too, can remember a handful of times over the course of the last month where Taehyung had shown up at the venue where they were performing with a surprise present for Seokjin specifically.
The group only seems to drop the nickname once Taehyung has become thoroughly flustered. Yoongi tries not to interject too much, and tries not to join in with the teasing too much either. Taehyung has a habit of coming to find him later in the night to whine at him if he teases a bit too much during the day. It’s cute, but Yoongi knows he’ll be exhausted at the end of today. He’ll probably just want to curl up, secretly read a few more pages of Taehyung’s gift, and then sink into a deep slumber.
It’s much later in the day, as he’s leaving the set, accompanied by Taehyung’s distant shouts to come back with many snacks, that he starts thinking of how to repay Taehyung for his many charitable gestures.
Yoongi doesn’t like getting gifts for others. And while he gets Taehyung’s approach — the other doesn’t sense any obligation to purchase gifts, just buys whatever speaks to him, no matter the time of the year — he hasn’t found the same instincts in life.
He’s sweet talked the camera person that’s come with him to the stores to shut off the camera for their short trip, and that’s enough for him to fall even deeper into his thoughts. It’s how he ends up ordering a strawberry type smoothie with his own caffeinated order at the café. The drink had reminded him of Taehyung. It’s a good first small step, might pull him to the point where he can give Taehyung something that means as much as some of the gifts Taehyung makes for those around him.
But, when he arrives on set, Taehyung asks him directly if he’s allowed to grab the smoothie. Yoongi had brought back the same drink for everyone else, Taehyung’s was the only special drink. And, clearly, Taehyung hadn’t received the message that Yoongi had gotten it for him specifically, because he thought he might like it.
Yoongi ends up just quickly telling Taehyung that he can grab the smoothie. He thinks back on the Slam Dunk series again, how Taehyung hadn’t shied away from telling Yoongi he’d gotten him the collection because he wanted him to be happy, and because he loved him.
Yoongi wasn’t going to start professing those kinds of mushy feelings over a smoothie. Taehyung was worth a hell of a lot more. So he files away the thought. He’d figure out how to pose a heartwarming gesture for Taehyung sometime soon. He would.
o — o — o
Taehyung looks properly confused when he steps out onto their balcony. He’s wearing a set of sweats, and his hair is still plastered against his skull from the shower.
Yoongi sits awkwardly against the wall, foregoing the nearby chairs, with two glasses and the bottle of wine in hand.
Taehyung slides down the wall to take a seat, recognizes the bottle as he accepts one of the glasses.
“Ah, hyung, who told you about what I said? I didn’t mean that you had to drink it before your birthday, or with me. I just wanted to confirm that you had received it!”
“Namjoon told me,” Yoongi answers with a chuckle, pouring the wine into Taehyung’s cup before continuing, “He even said you whined about not getting a response on live broadcast. So, sort of seems like you wanted me to find out.”
“I wanted you to know I chose the wine with great care! I even snuck a look at that wine magazine subscription you get.”
“Yeah, I gathered. It was unwrapped when I got it, you realize that, right?”
Taehyung laughs and the sound of it is sheepish. Yoongi sets the bottle down, next to the book he’d taken out with him before shooting a message to Taehyung inviting him to meet on the balcony. The thought of the item makes him nervous.
“Are we really just drinking it like this? Didn’t you tell me how I need to complement wine with the right foods to bring out the right flavours?”
Yoongi is impressed Taehyung had retained that much of what he’d said in the past.
“Yeah, just for tonight.” He breathes in the night air deeply. Below them, the cityscape feels so alive, yet so far away. For the millionth time he thinks of how lucky he is to be launched into super stardom with people he’d grown up with. He’s not alone, never. He’s surrounded with people who know him so intimately. “Something’s been on my mind lately,” he confesses in a quiet voice.
“Is it bad?” Taehyung asks hesitantly, pressing his shoulder to Yoongi’s in an automatic move to convey some comfort.
Tonight, it only makes Yoongi tenser.
“For a while now, I’ve been thinking of how to properly repay you for the gifts you give me, and others. I was still in the middle of figuring that out when you left me this bottle. That’s why I couldn’t manage to reply back then, I hope that’s alright.”
Taehyung looks more confused than before, sips noisily at his wine as he seems to mull over Yoongi’s words.
“I hope you know that I don’t get you guys stuff to get something back. It’s just an easy way for me to express love.”
“I know that, Taehyung. And I’ve just been thinking of how I can properly express my love, too.” The air is serious now, Yoongi takes a drink from his cup, it had remained untouched up until now. “Don’t you find I’m pretty easy to gift to?”
It takes a moment for Taehyung to answer, as if he’s trying to work out which answer Yoongi most wants. In the end, he answers with a fond sigh escaping his lips.
“Yeah, I’d say so. You can be a little uncomplicated with your likes and wants.”
“Because I pretty much don’t change. I like all the things I’ve liked in the past,” Yoongi agrees, feels the familiar rush of warmth through his chest at the thoughts of growing up, and coming out to still be the same person.
“Right, and you get so chatty when you like something! It’s easy for me to pick up on.”
“That’s right. You’re really different though, so it’s hard to find things I want you to have.” Taehyung cocks his head at that, and Yoongi looks forward, out towards the landscape again. The wine has a smoky taste to it. “It feels like you’re constantly growing more into the world. Like everything you touch becomes something that’s uniquely yours.”
Taehyung laughs loudly, and Yoongi can tell he isn’t following.
“Woah, hyung. Everyone tells me you’re not that great at holding your liquor, but this is pretty quick to get to drunk talking.”
“I’m not,” Yoongi retorts amusedly, makes sure to shove his weight against Taehyung briefly, before making some sort of attempt to elaborate. “Like, back in the day. You used to call your grandmother to get her help to pick out what clothes you should wear for that week. Next thing I knew, you knew the most about fashion out of everyone I know. Now, you’re even designing and customizing your own clothes.”
“Ah, that…” Taehyung tries to answer something more, but his voice is too heavy with embarrassment to communicate much more.
“It feels like last week that you were coming to me asking me about what classical music you should listen to. And now I hear you’ve ordered a violin. That’s true, isn’t it?” A short nod from Taehyung. “Right. You’re always so busy discovering more, growing more, it’s hard for me to keep up. Or to come up with something I think is just right for you. I think you handle that question better on your own.”
Taehyung is still embarrassed, apparently, because he’s quick to finish his glass. Yoongi gives little thought to it as he fills it back up halfway. He does the same for his own.
“Please don’t get me wrong, I love that about you. I love the kind of person that you are.”
“But, I love the way you are too, hyung. You always feel so familiar.”
“Yeah, I love who I am, too. And I live for that familiarity.” Yoongi takes a deep breath. He’s getting closer to the conclusion he had reached now, sometime late last night after Namjoon had pushed for him to properly thank Taehyung for his gesture. “So, I thought, from now on. Maybe I can share with you what you get me. Because you get me, you know what I like. And I want to share what I’m like and what I like with you.”
“Huh? I… Sorry, what?” Taehyung seems taken aback by his forwardness.
Yoongi picks up the first volume of Slam Dunk, hands it over to Taehyung.
“Here, I want you to read these. I’ve been reading slowly through them again. I’ve managed to save the last two volumes for Hong Kong. But, this story meant a lot to me when I was a teen. I thought it would be nice if I could share it with you somehow.”
He doesn’t say more, but watches attentively as Taehyung turns the book over and over in his hands. For a while, it seems he’s at a loss for words.
“This is a pretty romantic gesture, wouldn’t you say?” Taehyung eventually chokes out through a giggle that sounds on the brink of tears.
Yoongi puts his arm around Taehyung’s shoulders as he downs his second glass of wine.
“Hadn’t thought of it that way, but maybe you’re right.”
That belief is somewhat cemented when Taehyung fully slumps his posture to curl into his side and to rest his head heavily onto his shoulder. Yoongi squeezes Taehyung’s shoulder before leaning his head back against the wall. The night is a little cold, the urban soundtrack below them still as loud as ever. He’s undeniably happy like this.
“Kind of sounds like I need to keep getting you stuff then, so that you keep sharing lots of you with me.”
“I’d like that,” he answers sincerely.
He thinks of how familiar Taehyung feels, too. How comfortable he is associating precious and cherished childhood memories with the image of Taehyung.
Wonders for a moment if the slow, caring, gentle way he’d read through his collection of Slam Dunk really was related to soft childhood memories. He’s starting to think it might have more to do with his feelings for Taehyung.