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“You ready?”
“Yeah I'll meet you outside”
I sighed loudly throwing my phone onto my bed, I stared in the mirror studying myself. “Am I really doing this? I mean it's a one-time thing, I might as well get it over with. It's no big deal....right?” I grabbed a piece of my hair still contemplating “how will Dick react? Oh Hera, what am I doing?!”
My phone buzzed indicating another message “You coming?” I hesitated before typing a reply. “Yeah, I'll be right down." The clock read 3:29 am “Dad's still patrolling I'll be ok” I mumbled as I slowly inched the bedroom door open. my heart pounded so loud I was afraid it could be heard throughout the manor. I stealthily crept down the hall making sure not to get in the view of a camera.
I made it out of the manor successfully making sure not to trip any alarms as I made my way through the yard and leaped over the wall. I quickly walked to the Corolla idling across the street “It's ok don't worry” I soothed myself quietly. I opened the back door and got in “hey” I said nervously. Zaid was already in the back.
“Hey, so you ready?” he said as he inched close to me “well I've never done this before it's my first time” I stared at the floor as I picked at the end of my shirt. “Oh ok,” he stated awkwardly as he pulled me in for a kiss “oh geez, he's terrible at kissing,” I thought as I went along with it. "Wait. This isn't anything like I've heard."
"This is happening really fast. Why did I agree to this? I don't want to do this anymore but is it too late to say something? I don't see what all the commotion is about...it just hurts. I'll...just wait till it's over."
"It's already 4 am man, I gotta go" he climbed off of me putting on his clothes I sat up gathering mine not caring if they were inside out or backward, I just wanted to leave. He didn't say a word to me and nor did I to him. I just wanted to go back to the safety of my home, my room, my brother, and especially my father. I hastily got out of the car not saying a word "it's ok, it's ok, it's ok" I repeated as I made it back to my room without incident.
As soon as I shut my door I touched my face, once that first tear escaped, the rest followed in a flood. I slumped to the ground "I'm such a fucking idiot" I sobbed to the point I couldn't control my breathing, like a child trying to hold back tears. "D-daddy," I said in between sobs, I crawled over to my bed not wanting to get up and grabbed my Batman blanket wrapping it around me for security "I'm so sorry daddy. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disappoint you. I'm a horrible daughter"
After what felt like an hour of crying my blanket was soaked with tears and drool, I slowly got up peeling off the brown curly strands of hair stuck to my cheek with sweat. I took a hot shower scrubbing every trace of him off of me, I brushed my teeth to the point of gagging trying my hardest to forget that kiss. I looked at myself in the mirror grabbing my damp long hair and a pair of scissors from the bathroom drawer.
*Snip* *Snip* I cut it down to where someone could mistake me for a boy from afar. "I'm still the same" I rubbed my swollen eyes barely even opening them "nobody will notice."