Chapter Text
san is the devil (8)
yunho: who did it?
seonghwa: pardon?
hongjoong: wat
wooyoung: nani?
san: god damn you weeb ass
wooyoung: I -
yeosang: it ain’t me whatever it is
jongho: I am a child of god and therefore innocent
yunho: who ate my last sandwich :((
hongjoong: ah shit someone made him use a sad face
mingi: uh
mingi: me??
yunho: >:( ill forgive you IF you buy me milk tea for the rest of the week
mingi: deal
private chat: my therapist hyung (2)
yunho: ughhhhhhhh hyunggggg
hongjoong: yes child no.1?
yunho: as in your first child or fave child?
hongjoong: both
yunho: uwu
hongjoong: ...
yunho: UWU
hongjoong: uwu...
yunho: anyways i hate song mingi
hongjoong: you literally have a crush on him though?
yunho: taking my sandwich and my feelings (;_;) it be like that
hongjoong: ffs you’re so cheesy like that,
look why don’t you just tell him?
yunho: he has a girlfriend? plus he wouldn’t ever like me back and I can’t handle le rejection okay
hongjoong: yunho I know he’s with her but he low key doesn’t even like her, she’s not even a good girlfriend and they’re barely together and to be honest he spends more time with YOU
yunho: hyung it’s just that
yunho: he means so much to me you know? I haven’t liked someone like this before and he’s my best friend and it’s so painful everyday knowing he’s taken by some girl and not me, when he has to cancel plans with us cause she’s asked him out instead, when he tells me he’s busy with her and can’t catch up
yunho: it’d be super messy and awkward and he’s be nice about it still and idk, it’ll turn into a huge pity party for yours truly
yunho: I’m just gonna go sleep hyung, night
hongjoong: yunho!!! come back here
san is the devil (8)
san: I wish someone would buy me milk tea
wooyoung: I’ll treat you!!
san: really?!
wooyoung: yeah, how about our date this Friday??
san: my mans y’all
jongho: ew no homo in this chat
yeosang: you’re literally gay tho jongho?
jongho: stfu yeosang, you dumbass it’s a principle okay? no coupley stuff
yeosang: the disrespect eYE-
seonghwa: jongho.
jongho: sorry yeosang I love you the mostest uwu
hongjoong: ew it’s an uwu stop it my child
mingi: oh no he’s spent too much time with yunho
seonghwa: do not speak ill of my favourite child.
mingi: ebskssn sorry hyung but where is he anyways? everyone else is here
hongjoong: think he went to bed early
mingi: oh? no goodnight text from him then
san: he texts you goodnight every night??
mingi: yeah it’s what best bros do
san: okay sure jan
wooyoung: someone done the calculus homework? need some help
jongho: I have!!
wooyoung: my fave dongsaeng! my smart child doing extended math, please help
jongho: sure hyung!
san: wow I’ve been replaced
yeosang: lmao rip woosan
mingi: cute while it lasted
hongjoong: ooft
seonghwa: such idiots.
san: is anyone else scared when seonghwa hyung ends his sentences with a random full stop?
seonghwa: :). watch. out.
san: marty I’m scared
hongjoong: woosan is dead, so mingi how’s things with your girl
mingi: uh good I guess
seonghwa: you guess? why?
mingi: we haven’t gone out recently and she’s been dodging my texts so yeah
hongjoong: oomf my child it’s okay I’m sure she’ll get back to you
mingi: I mean it’s fine? tbh I haven’t really felt like we’ve really been “dating” at all so i remain unbothered
hongjoong: positive thinking! a proud father!
mingi: anyways I’m done with my homework for tonight! night everyone!
seonghwa: and I just got back home from work, I’m going to turn in, goodnight everybody.
san: lmao the next episode of friends here I come
hongjoong: my child, so disappointing but not surprised
san: what can I say Monica and Chandler getting exposed is a good episode
hongjoong: sleep soon my child, it’s not good for your internal organs and you’ll get pimples
san: wow you’re really sounding like my parents now hyung, don’t worry I’m washing my face and brushing my teeth as we speak
hongjoong: wooyoung and jongho! Please sleep soon! Y’all are meant to be doing math but I can tell you’re reading this