Work Text:
Heart of Gold
Anthony had been abducted again.
“I thought it might stop after we’d married,” Natalia said, frowning.
Steven and James were glad to know that it was because she cared about him as a friend, and not a lover. “No,” they informed her sadly.
Anthony might have thought he’d been cursed as a babe, but he was the only one. Everyone else, even Steven and James, could only consider him incredibly blessed. His ethereal beauty, his endless charm, his calm wisdom, and his wondrous skills had served him well after taking the throne. His people trusted him.
Steven and James had hoped, perhaps foolishly, that becoming reigning king would put people off. Kidnapping a prince was one thing; abducting a king came with a heftier sentence, and Anthony had proved time and again that he could get out of a lot of bad spots by himself by somehow creating incendiary devices. Steven and James had never really understood how he could do so quickly and efficiently. Or at all.
Natalia sighed, rubbing her temples for a moment and looking supremely pissed off. “Go fetch him, then.”
“Yes, your highness,” Steven and James said immediately.
“And for God’s sake, be discreet if there are witnesses when you find him,” she added softly, glaring at them. She and Anthony were still trying to quash a rumor that Anthony was going to abdicate the throne to go off and live in sin with his knights.
Anthony would never abdicate. Unfortunately, they’d not conceived an heir yet, and it was making a lot of people suspicious enough that Natalia and Anthony were slightly frantic trying to make people believe that.
Natalia narrowed her eyes at them threateningly. Steven and James tried not to look like they were scampering away, but they weren’t quite sure they managed it, because Clint snorted when he saw them.
“Good luck,” he said after he’d saddled their horses. “Also! If my dumb ass can learn discretion, so can you.”
“Shut up, Clint,” James said, swinging up on his horse.
“Since I have not caused an incident among the people by making them doubt our king, no,” Clint replied smugly.
“Don’t,” Steven warned when James looked like he might slide right back off his horse to punch him. “We need to go find King Anthony, James.”
James pointed at Clint threateningly and was disappointed that he never seemed to be put out by it. He comforted himself with the fact that Clint was an idiot.
--
Whoever had kidnapped Anthony had done… a very, very poor job of it, to put it mildly.
It was a well-known fact that when Anthony got nervous, he got the cutest little hiccups (another gift he’d been given—even his bodily functions were adorable or charming). It was also a well-known fact that when he got the hiccups, precious gems fell from between his lips. Whoever had kidnapped Anthony had not bothered to stop and pick up any of the diamonds, so there was a neat trail of them, one gem for every length of their horses.
“Should we pick them up?” Steven asked, considering.
James tilted his head. “Anthony likes it when we leave them for the poor.”
“Good,” Steven said. “I didn’t want to get off my horse anyway.”
They did not think about how concerning it was that the kidnappers apparently had no need for precious gems. When people kidnapped Tony, it was for ransom. Okay, occasionally it was to try and marry him as well, but ever since Victor von Doom had kidnapped him in an attempt to wed him and Natalia had demanded to come with them so she could wipe the floor with Doom herself, potential kidnappers had definitely kept their attempts strictly for monetary purposes.
If these kidnappers didn’t want money from Anthony… what did they want?
“...Isn’t this where Bruce started hiding out?” James asked as they followed the trail into the forest. “After he was cursed to be an ogre?”
As if in answer to his question, they heard an excited squeal.
Now a great deal less concerned, they tied their horses up and walked toward the cave Bruce was currently living in. “Hello!” Steven called as they walked in.
“Steven!” Anthony cried happily, looking no worse for wear and sat at a spinning wheel. “James! I can spin straw into gold!”
“That’s nice,” Steven said. “Are you aware that you’ve been abducted?”
“I am? Oh, I guess I was,” Anthony said, looking properly chastised. “The goldblins heard of my gifts and were running out of gold so they’d hoped I could spin some for them, like that queen over in Floresia, so they just… took me.”
“I’ve been trying to get him to go home for an hour,” Bruce offered before they could blame him.
“Thank you,” James told him, because they knew how Anthony got. “Tell the goblins to not abduct Anthony.”
Anthony frowned. “Goldblins. Because they prefer gold over precious gems.”
James didn’t roll his eyes, but barely. “Excuse me. Goldblins.”
“Well, we’re here to rescue you,” Steven said, and then held his hands out.
Anthony blinked at him, uncomprehending, before he smiled and reached out to take them. “Oh! Yes, of course. A kiss for my saviors.”
Steven smiled back, drawing him up off of the stool he was sitting on to pull him into his arms. He dipped his head to cover Anthony’s mouth with his own, swiping his bottom lip with his tongue and then delving it into his mouth when the smaller man mewled and opened up for him.
James didn’t mind waiting his turn with that view to keep him occupied. He loved watching Steven and Anthony kiss, especially when Anthony sort of softened under him, already a little hazy by the time James went in for his own kiss.
“I don’t like this,” Bruce said, and James jolted when he realized that they were very much still in the ogre’s lair and they should probably leave.
“Thanks, Bruce,” James said hastily, and ushered Steve and Anthony out.
“Tell the goldblins I’ll send some more gold over later!” Anthony called before they left the cave.
“Go away,” Bruce said.
Anthony pursed his lips into an exceedingly adorable pout. James decided he couldn’t be follied for being unable to resist and leaned in for his kiss, swallowing Anthony’s surprised gasp, plunging his tongue in before the king could gather his bearings. He wished he didn’t have to wear armor at times like these, wished he could feel Anthony’s fingers digging into his flesh, feel the heat of Anthony’s body against his own. For now, though, he sated himself with this, tasting and wanting and knowing that Anthony trusted them enough to fall limp in their arms when anyone could be watching.
“Go away,” Bruce said again, making them break apart in surprise. He loomed in the entrance of the cave, scowling at them. “I don’t want to see this.”
“We’re leaving,” Steven assured him, ushering Anthony and James ahead of him. “Thanks for keeping an eye on him. Goodbye, Bruce.”
“Goodbye,” Bruce said firmly, and turned to go back into his cave.
“Thank you for coming to rescue me,” Anthony said as they urged him forward. He had a tendency to dawdle if not hurried. It was part of a gift of ‘poise.’
Steven let his hand drift lower down Anthony’s back, hovering above the curve of his rump. “Of course. You’re our king. We love you. And you left a very neat trail for us.”
Anthony made a soft, questioning noise. “I did?”
“Diamonds this time,” James confirmed.
“Oh,” Anthony said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. “I don’t like diamonds.”
James nodded. “Precisely why we didn’t pick any up.”
“Good,” Anthony decided. He frowned when they came upon the tied up horses. “You didn’t bring a mount for me?”
“We’d rather hoped we could mount you,” James mumbled as Anthony stepped forward to pet his horse on the muzzle.
“Hmm? What was that?” Anthony asked, turning to look up at him with wide, innocent eyes.
James wanted to ruin him.
“It’ll be easier to protect you if you ride with one of us,” Steven said, casually stepping on James’s foot.
“Oh,” Anthony said, and blushed prettily. “Who shall I ride with, then?”
James and Steven silently played a vicious game of roshambo while he was distracted by the horses. Steven won. James swore revenge.
“It was very nice of you to come rescue me,” Anthony said once they were on their way. “I’d thought I’d get back before anyone would notice I was gone, but I got distracted by my newfound skill, and, oh-! Steven!” he yelped when Steven’s hands began slipping under his vest and shirt.
“I’m just checking you over for injury,” Steven said with a straight face. “We can’t take your word for it ever since that time you hid the fact that you were pricked by a thorn and had to dance for hours until we found the witchling who did it.”
“Wanda said she was sorry,” Anthony mumbled, embarrassed.
James frowned at him severely. “You could have died.”
“...She said she was sorry…”
“Of course, once we return to the castle, you’ll have to strip for us,” Steven added.
Anthony nearly pitched off the horse. “What!?”
“Who’s to say you’re not injured elsewhere?” Steven reasoned. “We must examine you thoroughly.”
“Natalia could,” Anthony tried hopefully.
“Natalia will not,” Steven and James reminded him, and James added, “Remember when she found a knife wound on you?”
Anthony said nothing, which meant that he did. Natalia had pitched an unholy fit, promised retribution tenfold, and then stuffed Anthony into bed and hadn’t let him leave until it healed. Natalia had insisted that she could only ever be friends with him. None of them had really been prepared for what being Natalia’s friend had entailed.
“So you will strip for us,” Steve said. “And we will check you over thoroughly.”
“Is that wise?” Anthony wondered, frowning. “Since that rumor that I’m going to abdicate and run off to live in sin with you is still going around…”
“And it’s certainly not helping that you’re fondling him in public,” James said. He held his hands out. “I won’t molest you, your highness.”
“Hey!” Steven barked as Anthony held his hands out to him, and James quickly dragged him from Steven’s horse and onto his own.
James very maturely stuck his tongue out at him and settled Anthony in front of him. “So,” he said, casually sliding one arm around his waist under the guise of holding him steady. “Tell me all about this newfound gift.”
“I can spin straw into gold!” Anthony crowed proudly. “I’m still not entirely sure how or who gave me the gift, but it’s one I think I’ll enjoy. My first few spindles were kind of shoddy but they got better the more I practiced. I’m hoping my gold will be completely pure with some practice. The goldblins use it in their weaving and with humans hoarding gold they’re suffering a shortage, so I don’t even mind spinning it for them! Bruce said they offered to make a tapestry for me but I just want a handkerchief,” he added thoughtfully. “Something simple. Bruce said he’d try to convince him but not to hope too much.”
James and Steven shared a look as Anthony began chattering about his plans to practice spinning gold until he was perfect at it, because the goldblins deserved high-quality gold for putting up with humans hoarding it; their king had such a soft, kind heart. Only Anthony could be kidnapped and be so happy about it.
They were still getting him to strip though. They weren’t kidding about the dancing curse. That had really sucked.