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The LOLSilmarillion

Summary:

The Silmarillion, rendered in LOLcat.

Notes:

Many moons ago I took the notion of doing a rendition of the contents of the Silmarillion in LOLcat, and posted this (Ainulindalë) to Livejournal in 2009. I have never done more of it but if I post it as the opening to a chaptered fic maybe the rest of it will happen someday.

(Don't hold your breath, though, please, I don't want to have your life in my hands.)

(I'm hoping to at least get up to Beren and Luthien eventually, though, which produced the joke that spawned the whole concept.)

Chapter 1: AinulindaLOL

Chapter Text

Invisible Cat: We sings.

Ceiling Cats: ~o/ Mew!

Melkor: ~o/ Yowl!

Ceiling Cats: ~o/ Muh... whut?

Invisible Cat: We sings.

Ceiling Cats: ~o/ Meow!

Melkor: ~o/ Yeowrrrrrrrrrrr!

Ceiling Cats: ~o/ Me ... whut?

Invisible Cat: WE SINGS.

Ceiling Cats: ~o/ MEOW!

Melkor: Ffffft.

Invisible Cat: ...

Ceiling Cats: Purrrrrr.

Invisible Cat: Iz done. Iz song made, u sings. U sings my songz. Even Melkor. See whut iz sung!

Ceiling Cats: Iz wurld!

Invisible Cat: See what songz iz in wurld. You can has sekrit knowledge of self listening to musics.

Ceiling Cats: Whut they? Iz elf, iz man.

Invisible Cat: Iz my sekrit song.

Ceiling Cats: Ooooh. Shiny. Some of us goes to wurld.

Melkor: Yes. Sekrit song needs us.

Ceiling Cats: Look! Waturz! Airz! Dirts! Look!

Invisible Cat: Look at the waturz. See Melkor sing hots, sing colds.

Ulmo: I sees. Snowflakes and rains nao!

Invisible Cat: Iz more beautiful nao.

Ulmo: Yes. I sings with Manwë for u.

Ceiling Cats: Where wurld go?

Invisible Cat: Iz real nao. Look!

Ceiling Cats: We go!
Ceiling Cats: ... where iz?
Ceiling Cats: Busy cats are busy making wurld.

Melkor: My wurld.

Manwë: We wurkz too.

Melkor: Fine. I leaves. (My wurld.)

Ceiling Cats: We can has bodiez! Wurld growz!

Melkor: ... my idea too. I can haz bodiez.

Ceiling Cats: Hey! Melkor, you breakz wurld!

Melkor: My wurld.

Ceiling Cats: We builds anywayz.