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For an Unfathomable Reason: Crabs

Summary:

One idea led to another. Now, the kids invade unsuspecting companies.

or

Zombies caught on speed dial.

better yet

Kids overcome impossible obstacles in order to cope and find love.

Chapter Text

It was a normal day; like any other autumn leaf-infested day in the low 10 degrees Celsius would be.

It was so incredibly normal that the bruises on Lee’s arm were still numb from being tossed around by Kimimaro earlier that morning. It was no big deal, he thought, as he stared at the whiteboard in front of him. The numbers were swirling in his mind as he thought on anything other than finding the circumcenter of right triangles. 

He pondered why Kimimaro was so brutal and full of hate for only Lee. He wondered why the morning dragged on longer than usual. However, he didn’t question why the teacher took him out of class and filed him for after-school detention. It was the third time that Lee was caught daydreaming in class and although he was embarrassed, the thought of another lecture from Neji plagued him even more.

As the teacher directed him back to the classroom, the bell rang and a tall figure took Lee’s shoulder in his hand and shoved him in the direction of the cafeteria. Lee sighed externally, having Neji as a tutor was amazing and all he could ever ask for, but whenever he’d get in trouble, he dreaded Neji’s ‘strict side’. Even more so when Lee was on an empty stomach. 

“Detention again, Lee? I thought we worked on this. I guess you’ll just have to reread that Geometry textbook,” The long haired brunette made sure Lee couldn’t derail from eye contact. 

“W-wait, Neji, I swear I figured out the equation, I was just-”

“The exam is tomorrow . It’s twenty-five percent of our grade, Lee,” Neji stood with his arms crossed, blocking Lee from the sight of the food in the cafeteria. Lee’s stomach growled but he managed to respond.

“I… I know, Neji. I will make sure to reread it tonight. Now can we please get lunch, I am practically starving!” Lee shot a pair of puppy dog eyes at Neji and saw him relent. His arms slacked to his sides as he moved and let Lee into the cafeteria. 

They were only two steps in when they were both pushed aside and face to face with the school famous President of the Food Appreciation Honors Society. Who knew that if he actually took the time, (correction, if he took Shikamaru’s time) Choji could start his own official club. He convinced a few unsuspecting students with the promise of free food and ‘time to work on assignments’. Lee was sure that the school obligated Choji to insert that last bit into his motto but after attending a few meetings, he noticed that Shikamaru would sometimes edit homework for the attending students. May it be essays or math assignments, he would exclaim the work being a ‘drag’ before deciding to help out anyway. 

“Choji, shoving people out of the way seems a bit...excessive just to see what’s on the menu,” Shikamaru said while scratching the back of his head. 

“Nothing is too excessive when it comes to food!” Choji exclaimed. As if on cue, members of his club appeared out of thin air and began applauding as if what Choji said was an undeniable doctrine. Choji rolled a nearby loose leaf flyer into a makeshift microphone and began proclaiming something along the lines of ‘the ultimate power of the palate’.  

Eventually, when the crowd dwindled, Choji turned to begin his investigation on the meal options. He had managed to balance four plates of sweet and sour chicken on his arms and a few bags of chips when Shikamaru yawned and noticed Lee and Neji were still shocked from Choji’s push. 

“Oh, sorry about that guys. You know how he is,” he said. 

“It is quite alright! Are you sure he can carry all of that?” Lee stated. 

“Tch, don’t start saying that or he’ll try to carry more. Besides, he better be able to do it since I’ll be heading out to Starbucks later and I don’t feel like helping him with… ya know,” He said as he saw Choji attempt to grab several more plates. “...Actually, you know what? I’d rather not be here and have to clean up after his mess. See you around.” After a simple wave, Shikamaru exited the school premises.

With that, Choji was left alone to handle his own lunch. Lee and Neji grabbed the nearest edible item and snuck around Choji before whatever they had chosen to eat was added to his now growing food tower.

-

Lunch was, to put it in layman's terms, divided into cliques. An outsider may make the mistake of saying the groups were split by stereotypical means but that wasn’t the case at all. Even Lee hadn’t noticed it until Tenten mentioned it to him. There were about six major groups scattered about the school. He found it best to memorize them so he wouldn’t end up in the wrong crowd.  

Kiri...

Lee hadn’t known what to think of this bunch. The most notable was Zabuza, a history whiz plus part of the Senior Seven (an elite team of swimmers), and Haku who skipped a grade and was a sophomore. Anyone else tended to be distant and quiet, at least towards Lee. Which was understandable due to his overbearing upbeat nature.  

Iwaga...  

It took a while to recall his name but… Deidara, he remembered, used to be a part of their team, at least to the extent that Lee knew. Aside from his involvement in the art club, his ceramic pieces were displayed in the local community center for all to see. He was also known for stink bombs and smoke bombs that were apparently ‘strategically placed masterpieces’ even if it was clear he just placed them at random.  

Kumo...

They held one of the top bands of the school and were quite inspiring in Lee’s honest opinion. While most ignored the music that grew increasingly louder as the group passed along the halls, a few encouraged them and the band even seemed to have a growing fanbase. 

Oto...

Lee’s mind immediately drew a close. The last thing he wanted was a reminder of Kimimaro and his gang of thugs. They made school life miserable for him. From obscenities spray-painted on his locker to daily assaults, it made Lee develop the habit of clinging close to his friends. He couldn’t really go class to class without someone there to keep his aggressors at bay. After a certain incident… he vowed to never have a point of vulnerability ever again.

and...

The sharpness of Neji’s voice drew Lee out of his thoughts. “Suna’s headed this way, let’s find where everyone else is sitting before...Lee?” 

His black and white striped converse were glued to the floor. A flash of deep cranberry red snuck inside the cafeteria. The afterimage remained on Lee’s retinas as he stared at the now empty hall intersection. 

Suna...

“Lee?”

“Hmm, right!” Lee shook his head, a momentary blur fading from his mind. 

After a few hours consisting of a probably failed history pop quiz and a botched essay later, Lee sat at the far left of his math classroom with his head resting on the desk. Detention was awful and if Lee really wanted to, he could make a page list of reasons why.  

  1. Boring. Absolutely nothing to do
  2. No time with friends
  3. Miss Neji
  4. Miss Tenten
  5. No time to exercise
  6. Not enough space to exercise
  7. Not to mention he can’t really do much of anything
  8. Teacher confrontation
  9. Bored
  10. Alone
  11. Can’t text
  12. No minecraft
  13. No watching videos
  14. No fun
  15. Not knowing what’s going on outside of school
  16. Were those shouts?
  17. Regret 
  18. No counting steps
  19. No running and, by god, is running amazing
  20. Not knowing why people are shouting outside

Eventually, he got the list to reach a page, however, the yelling hadn’t subsided. He could always look out the window, but the temptation of some event happening would be too great to resist. He also couldn’t risk additive days of detention and not to mention spending another hour without being active felt like… pure torture. 

He felt a buzz in his right pocket, two buzzes. Being the only one in detention meant every little movement could be assumed to be Lee. He’d have to check those messages when the teacher left the room. As if his prayers had been answered, his teacher did just that.  

“I’ll be back in just a moment. It sounds like a horror movie out there. I trust you can hold off on your own?”

“Yes, Mizuki-sensei! I shall be alright.” 

With that, Lee was left to his own devices and continued to stare in any direction except for the windows outside. With each increasing yell, goosebumps appeared on his skin as if they were acne; spreading and annoying. 

Noises were what one could call a hit or miss for Lee. Right now, Lee could mention three sounds that stood above all else. The tapping of his fingers (he was desperate to release some energy), the ticks of the clock (irritating), and his thoughts echoed throughout the room. The shouts were already a given and had been happening for a while so they blended into a quiet stillness. 

Lee didn’t realize when certain noises started to become louder than others but if he had to pinpoint an exact time… He exhaled and laid his head on the desk once more. Another reason why he hated detention was because of the elongated minutes of pure static silence that enveloped around him. There was nothing to keep him from replaying Kimimaro’s actions and words aside from the distant taps and ticks from his fingers and clock. Lee clenched and unclenched his fists. Neji had given him a stress ball at one point but after a quick run, they came to the conclusion that it had fallen off somewhere. So, playing around with his hands was the best and only option. 

Unless… 

Lee shot his head up and stared at his now shaking hands. Looking out the window held many benefits. He would find out what was going on and it’d be the perfect distraction. However, if he didn’t look, he could keep the self-restraint he was working on maintaining for so long and patiently wait until detention was over. 

Patient. Right. He stared at his hands, looking for an answer between the wrinkles and crevices in his palms but he found no luck. 

Slamming his hands on the desk, he got up and finally looked out onto the marigold and bronze-hued horizon. What he saw beyond the single paneled laminated glass would change his life forever.  

Holy shit.