Work Text:
BEFORE YOU START:
BOLD = JAMES
ITALICS = KEITH
Jurassic Park
- keith had never seen the movies and james was shocked
- “the raptors are cool” keith had such a way with words
- “oh my god jeff?? what are you doing here”
- james loved keith’s reactions to the smallest things
- “that guy deserved it. what was his name again?” “dennis.” “yeah him.”
- “did alan just give timmy mouth to mouth?” “yes.” “gross.”
- “why does jeff talk so low.”
- james quoted some lines, keith smiled at that
- keith loves his dorky boyfriend
- keith loves the theme song
- when the theme song plays, james pretended to play the trumpet
- keith loves his boyfriend x2
The Lost World Jurassic Park
- “again? have they not learned from last time?”
- “that guy deserved it. god this franchise has assholes.”
- “DID HE JUST SHOCK THE CHICKEN DINOSAUR?” “it’s not a chicken dinosaur.” “what is it then?” “a compy. or compsognathus”
- keith did NOT know any dinosaur names, just the t-rex and stegosaurus
- “would you save me if i was on glass that was breaking beneath me above water crashing on hard rocks?” “no.”
- keith’s boyfriend was an asshole
- “i would save you from the compsognathus dinos though.”
- update: keith’s boyfriend wasn’t an asshole
- “the baby t-rex was cute, lets get one” “do you WANT to get eaten?” “kind of” “ok”
- james might be getting baby dino, probably a stuffed one :(
- keith forgot the middle since he and james had a make out session
- “HE ATE THE FUCKING DOG! JAMES!”
- keith didn’t like this movie as much as the first one
Jurassic Park III
- keith face palmed so hard. “AGAIN? please tell me you’re kidding.”
- “i love alan he’s a cutie.” “would you replace me with him?” “definitely. in a heart beat.”
- keith has a crush on alan
- “i like a man with dino knowledge”
- “that couple is us.” “which one are you.” “the man obviously. you’re the girl.”
- keith is paul
- james is amanda
- “billy is so hot. forget alan, i want billy”
- keith has a crush on billy now
- “i want to pet the raptor” “the raptor would bite your whole arm off” “worth it”
- keith is willing to bleed out from a raptor
- keith almost cried when billy got attacked by pterodactyls
- keith’s eyes widened when he saw the big lumps of dino poop
- “i would never almost sacrifice myself to save you from the spino dino.” “love you too keith.”
- james’ boyfriend was an asshole
- “i want to kiss billy so bad” keith said once he saw billy alive and well in the helicopter
- james was jealous
- james didn’t like this movie anymore
Jurassic World
- “i am chris pratt, you’re the girl”
- keith is owen
- james frowned at that
- keith now has a crush on owen
- “i want a pet raptor now”
- keith really liked raptors, especially blue
- “did they not learn from the original jurassic park? everything goes to shit when you decide to play with genetics and make an amusement park with your creations”
- james agreed
- “god owen is so hot”
- keith REALLY likes owen
- james is REALLY jealous
- “she’s RUNNING in HEELS! look at her go” keith cheered claire on
- “zach is such an asshole to his brother oh my god” “sounds like someone i know” “bitch”
- james is back to being an asshole, indirectly calling keith out
- “the indominus rex is so hardcore.”
- “this is the best movie so far”
- “blue is my GIRL i love her”
- “that dying noodle dinosaur’s nostril looks like a-“ “don’t even say it.”
- noodle dinosaur is a brachiosaurus
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
- “ah shit here we go again”
- “dinosaur rights guys, come on!”
- keith cried when the ‘spaghetti noodle dinosaur’ died on the island
- keith is hurting for his girl blue
- “imagine riding a t-rex?” “in what way” “you’re so nasty.”
- “indoraptor is pretty cool”
- “blue is so badass”
- “would you sacrifice yourself for me? protect me from the indoraptor?” “fuck no.”
- keith’s boyfriend is an asshole ONCE AGAIN
- keith blew a kiss to blue when she ran off into the forest
- “strong female leads in this franchise” “right?” “those dinos really know how to do it right.”
- keith now loves jurassic park